Crime scene: Local Cocktail bar
Time: 23:44h
Victim: Long-haired brunette with ice-blue eyes in an elegant navy-blue cocktail dress that underlines her outrageously long legs.
Suspect: A brave man who (after an almost endless struggle against his shyness) pulled himself together to compliment her.
Facts: As he described, the suspect ‘gathered all his courage’ to approach the victim standing at the bar with a ‘well-intentioned compliment’.
‘Superficial and uncreative’, were supposed to be his ‘lousy words’, according to the victim’s accusations.
It was the 13th time she had been approached in this manner during that evening.
‘You have beautiful eyes,’ that was supposed to be a compliment.
After confronting the victim with this, the victim decided to turn away from him ‘indifferently’ in order to ‘gossip with her friends’ again.
In this article, I’ll show you:
- My step-by-step compliment guide, with which you will always find the right words for women
- Why a good compliment for women is so important
- Revealed: The biggest compliment-NO-GOs and why women react so negatively to them
- WHEN you should compliment a woman and when you’ll just hurt yourself
- 5 examples of compliments that will make her melt
- … and much more
Officer Dan uncovers the case.
Every day, millions of women are hit by the same fate:
Whether in the form of a direct message on Instagram or Facebook, via a personal ‘hand-off’ next to the cat litter shelf in the supermarket, near a stinking sewer on some High Street or, as in the case above, in a cocktail bar.…
They are bombarded with characterless run-of-the-mill compliments.
What a shame…
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THIS is why a good compliment means the world to her
Why do you think women drag almost tons of Douglas, Zara and DM bags home and then spend hours pimping themselves in front of a mirror?
No, not because they have seen too much of America’s Next Top Model – at least not only because of that…
They do it mainly for one very simple reason:
For YOU.
Why?
Even in the Middle Ages, young girls learned from their mothers to make themselves as desirable as possible so that one day they would be found by their dream prince.
Remember the fairy tale Cinderella?
Even there, forest animals helped the inconspicuous Cinderella look like a goddess for her Prince Charming.
And even today, countless cosmopolitan fashion magazines, dozens of model shows on TV and even every advertisement tells women how important it is to look sexy in order to attract the attention of the opposite sex.
They are begging you for a compliment. It’s things girls like to hear.
With a phenomenal compliment you not only give them confirmation and acknowledge their efforts – no, you even trigger a MINI-ORGASM in their brains.
Sounds crazy, I know.
But this wouldn’t be an AttractionGym article if I couldn’t explain to you EXACTLY why this is.
You would probably not call the feeling you get when someone praises you ‘orgasmic’.
But in his many years of neurobiological research, Christoph Korn, a post-doctoral fellow at the University of Zurich, was able to draw a decisive conclusion:
When we humans receive a compliment, it triggers the same reward centers in the brain (the ventral striatum and the ventral medial prefrontal cortex) as during sex.
They, therefore, light up under the scan in a similar way to wild coitus.
However, the intensity of brain activity in these areas depends on the quality of the compliment.
The better the compliment, the more serotonin and dopamine (the happiness hormones of our body) are released.
In another study published in Nature Reviews Neuroscience Magazine in 2014, researchers from the University of Tokyo found that people who receive compliments more often, on average, learn skills more quickly.
For example, 48 subjects were asked to rehearse a 30-second sequence on a keyboard.
While some of them were regularly and individually praised for their attempts, the rest of the test persons remained ‘compliment-free’.
The results the next day:
The subjects who were praised the day before performed significantly better, on average, than the rest of the ‘compliment-free’ subjects.
So, what can we learn from this?
If you learn to hand out lacy compliments, you make the world a better place for a moment (at least for your chosen ones).
Prevent THESE compliment words
Remember the compliment from the intro?
‘You have beautiful eyes,’, was the compliment of our rejected amigo.
He gave a, presumably, warm compliment, and in return receives a cold shoulder
Ouch!
Wanna be rejected in the same way?
Probably not.
So, what’s so bad about that compliment for a woman?
Okay, maybe that exact line was used in excess that night.
But why the hell does she seem almost disappointed, even insulted by these kind words?
What do you think, bro? Why does she react like that?
…
As described earlier, the beauty featured in our story was probably busy for hours looking on fleek.
Hello? I mean, she’s even wearing a navy cocktail dress and it matches her eyes and makeup.
She knows how to dress up and she shows it off.
Despite all efforts, the ‘suspect’ of our case can only think of the fact that her eyes are beautiful?
Body parts she has owned since the day she escaped from the tube of her mother in labor?
Eyes that have remained unchanged in color despite her 180-minute styling marathon?
Don’t get me wrong here, if you think that this is THE thing that caught your attention, you will highly likely come across as authentic and therefore she might appreciate that.
But what I am a bit disappointed about is the fact that he didn’t exploit the potential of the situation.
Yet this long-legged brunette has given him dozens of ‘fit occasions’ to flatter her in the most charming way.
He just didn’t act on it…
Another no-go is to give a compliment to women with the sole intention of getting something in return.
Women have a sixth sense when it comes to seeing you hidden agenda, or if you are actually saying from the heart and just want to share it with her.
Even the best compliment for a girl can lose all its effect if you only say them to get her number, a kiss or sex from her.
I mean, you probably were disgusted earlier in grade school when someone said:
Wow! You guys are best friends in a way that doesn’t depend on material things…
It’s the same for women. You tell her something just to get a ‘cookie’ (her number, a kiss or sex) from her.
Save it and bake your own, bro.
Learn to share without expecting anything in return.
What most men also completely ignore when giving compliments is the timing and the right ‘dosage’ of a compliment.
You can have the best compliment with the best intentions for a woman at the start, but if you give it to her at the completely wrong moment, she will react negatively.
Exactly the same applies if you give her great compliments far too often, without any reason.
But what is good timing anyway and how do you recognize when you start to butter her up too much?
Listen up, bro.
I’m going to explain it to you, right now.
Timing + dosage: The special ingredients for the best compliment for a girl
These two things are the ‘major key’, as DJ Khaled would perhaps put it.
He’s right about that.
The consequences of bad timing have been felt by desperate past-Dan and maybe by yourself at one time or another.
I remember my biggest crush at high school:
Laura.
My God, was I obsessed with her?
And shit, I had no plan how to deal with that.
Every day I spammed her on WhatsApp (luckily, I had her number because of group work in biology).
Besides the classic ‘Hi’ and an original ‘How are you?’, I texted her constantly for no reason other than how pretty she was.
At first, she thought it was quite nice, but in the long run, she just thought I was f*cking ANNOYING.
Just by her short answers, she made me understand that the way I interacted with her wasn’t attractive.
Until one day she decided to completely ignore my uncreative one-liner compliments and even block me…
So, what crucial mistakes did I make?
First, I wasn’t able to keep the conversation flowing. So it became boring very quickly.
It can be tricky to keep a conversation going with a girl. Sometimes you run out of things to say and things get awkward.
If you need some tips on what should you say to a girl – in real life or online – check out this article:
>> What Should I Say to a Girl – 17 Best ‘Tricks’ to Spark Awesome Conversations
Let’s keep going with the second mistake.
How to compliment a girl the right way
I swamped her with politeness whereas she didn’t make any effort for me.
How would you like it if someone wrote to you every day and told you how great you actually are?
Sure, you might think it’s nice at first, but after a while, you wonder why someone is so damn nice to you. After all, you haven’t had any shared experiences, nor even met personally.
So someone seems to fantasize constantly about how great you are without actually checking it.
What kind of self-worth does that imply?
He puts you on a pedestal and reduces his own value. All he can do is talk about how great you are.
Not a healthy way of thinking.
Plus, you get completely paranoid:
They can’t just be nice to me like that. They just want something from me.
But what is he up to?
Yuck, creepy…
Overdosing her with compliment words
Imagine, at noon today, there is a fresh stone-oven pizza for you.
EUREKA!, you think – it’s your favorite dish!
Tomorrow we’ll have the same thing again – you still think that’s great.
But the days pass by and with every day you lose a piece of your enthusiasm for this stone oven pizza…
Until finally you get sick of it and you could puke just looking at it.
The same goes for uncreative, monotonous, superficial compliments.
‘You’re pretty,’ hot women hear every f*cking day.
Be more tasteful and creative.
How?
I’ll show you in a second.
But first of all, I would like to show you situations where it makes absolutely NO SENSE to compliment her:
- If she tries to get rid of you and is not interested in you: This might be self-explanatory even for a deaf and blind person. Still, it seems I need to say this to a lot of guys…
- If she ignores you: No answer is an answer, and this is certainly not a sign that she wants a compliment from you.
- If you’re in a group-situation: If there are too many people around you, you only put her under pressure because she has to pay attention to her status: If she is too enthusiastic, she may seem too easy and be considered a slut; if she seems too indifferent, you may misinterpret that she has no interest in you, although she just doesn’t want to be judged by the people around her.
- If she isn’t sure yet about you: Here a compliment seems forced as if you only want to convince her.
I like the pragmatic way you think, bro!
After all, a woman will consider you trustworthy and smart if you know exactly when the best time for a well-meant compliment is reached.
To achieve this effect, I recommend that you compliment her in the following situations:
- If she impresses you: Your lady has said or done something that you find incredibly clever? Let her know!
- If she smiles or laughs: A great feeling to know that she enjoys the time with you – compliment time!
- If you want to increase the sexual tension: You look deep into each other’s eyes while you’re telling her in a calm, controlled manner, how hot the way she looks at you is. With this, your sexual tension has just reached a new level.
- If you’re meeting/talking to her: Kind, clear words that make her understand that you’re not trying to sell her anything; plus, you can create a lot of attraction with a good compliment because you let her know that you don’t want to become her gay best friend.
A small side note about the last point:
Are you having trouble starting a conversation when you meet a girl?
If that’s the case, I got you, man.
Just read this article and you’ll learn how to start a conversation with a woman anywhere:
>> 17 Follow-Along Tips to Start a Conversation with a Girl Anywhere
I could tell you, bro.
But, you’re not gonna let yourself get fooled right?
I’m not just going to give you a few examples you’ll mindlessly use your whole life.
No.
I’m giving you a simple blueprint to find the best compliment anytime.
The ultimate how to compliment a woman step-by-step-guide
Dot, dot, comma, dash – smiley face in a flash.
Every Hans can draw a person with simple strokes on a piece of paper.
But the quality of this ‘masterpiece’ then probably leaves a lot to be desired.
So how does this simple scribble differ from a fantastic portrait?
Probably not much time was spent on the doodle.
But that’s not the crucial point…
The ominously beautiful portrait offers a DECISIONAL thing in contrast to the snuffed-out face-ache:
Attention to detail.
An explosion of colors, shades, precise sketching of facial expression – the more real the portrait, the more fascinating it is.
It is the level of detail that makes it so great.
The same goes for compliments.
Let me give you an example:
Instead of a flat ‘Your hair is pretty,’ you can be more specific:
This example meets all the criteria of the legendary compliment blueprint, which consists of the following steps:
- Spoilt for choice: Find an attractive woman you want to approach (e.g. a pretty woman in the shopping mall).
- Play Sherlock: Find something about her that you find interesting and about which you want to compliment her (e.g. the woman has an elegant hairstyle).
- Microscope zoom: Find details about the thing you want to compliment her for on (e.g. woman has hair pinned up).
- Effect: Consider to what extent a positive effect comes out of the thing you want to compliment her on (e.g. hair pinned up looks classic and timeless to you).
- Completion: Finish the compliment by considering to what extent the positive effect flatters the woman/makes her appeal. (e.g. hair pinned up looks classic and timeless to you, which makes her unique because nobody else does this, so you conclude that she must have class).
With this blueprint, you can create a unique compliment at any time.
Examples of compliments:
To give you a better feeling for it, I will give you some more exquisite examples:
Christmas just came early for you bro.
Now you know how to sweep the women of the world off their feet with incomparable compliments and subtle mini orgasms.
Keep in mind that you only compliment a woman when you REALLY mean it.
Do NOT compliment a woman if you are just doing it because you are expecting something in return from her for your thoughtful alphabetical soup.
With this I am convinced that I will never be called to a compliment crime scene in which YOU are involved.
What makes me so sure?
I just love the way you can implement the most complicated seeming things as if it was nothing. It almost seems like no challenge is too hard for you. You’re just a real winner.
Bonus: Start meeting more women now
Great! Now you know how to compliment a girl the right way.
This alone distinguishes you from 99% of all the men out there.
Does it mean there’s no more work to be done? Of course not.
If you want to take things to the next level, I’ve got something really cool for you.
It’s a toolkit to start dating right away.
It includes all of the best tips for making yourself an attractive man.
You get:
- The best opening lines to get her hooked
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See you in the next article,
Dan de Ram
Great content! Super high-quality! Keep it up! 🙂