Good that you’re here, homie.
Because today we’re about to MythBuster the shit out of the dating scene.
There’s A LOT of talk about the art of flirting.
And of course… once there’s a lot of talk about something, there’s automatically a lot of BULLSHIT.
Especially when it comes to learning how to flirt with a girl, many things are misunderstood, abused, mistreated, too black and white, overestimated, underestimated and so on and so forth.
Of course, there are also all kinds of self-proclaimed dating coaches who write dozens of articles about the art of flirting.
In this article we will bring a tsunami of light into the darkness. We will focus on the most common flirt myths. I will explain to you what is plain bullshyt, and also what sounds funny at first, but is actually true.
You will learn:
- 7 Myths to bust the art of flirting
- Whether appearance and financial fortune really important
- Who is more successful with women: The bad boy or the gentleman
- Why “Just being yourself” is not enough if you want her to go crazy for you
- Why most men don’t have a chance with women
- How you can belong to the dating elite
- And much more tips on how to learn flirting…
By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
Learn The Art Of Flirting: 7 Flirt Myths (and how it actually works)
In case you don’t know me yet: I’m certainly not the type of guy who keeps telling you that everything is fine and that you just have to be yourself. If you really want to hear something like that, go to my competitors.
If I’d run away from the brutal reality back then, I wouldn’t be here today. So let’s fuck this political correctness and take this bull called flirting by the horns.
Don’t get startled just because some things sound strange at first. Everything you read here has been researched and field-tested, so have faith and sit tight.
Let’s make you a master in the craft of flirting.
Flirt Myth #1: Looks and money matter
If you have never heard of this myth, it can only mean one thing:
You are Patrick Star and you live under a rock deep in the ocean.
It is by far the most controversial flirt myth and a classic example of a double-edged sword.
What is actually true:
You don’t have to look like Brad Pitt. You don’t have to have the body of a Greek god. You don’t have to swim in money like Scrooge McDuck.
On the other hand, it’s also a bit crazy that men spend so much time thinking about it, because even if you could do it without looks and money… both will certainly not hurt your success.
It will only become very problematic when you rely on these things.
Many guys think:
As a dating coach I am in daily contact with men who have exactly these things, but still have a dull love life.
As far as money goes:
I’ve often seen a guy who couldn’t even afford a drink, go home with the hottest girl in the club. Really cool, this guy. I wish I was like him. Oh, wait… that’s me. 😉
I still remember the evening when I put a model from Hong Kong on my bicycle rack and took her to my grandmother’s where I was staying when I had no fixed income.
Long story short:
Take care of your looks and your career, but do it for YOU. Much more important is how these things MAKE YOU FEEL.
It’s not a bad idea to love what you work or to feel comfortable in your clothing style. That creates a self-confidence that women find hot.
In the same way, you should do sports to feel fit and healthy. Your mood improves, you look better naked and – who would have thought – you are more attractive to women.
To get you going how to impress the ladies with your style, I’ve compiled an article with the must-have tips about male fashion.
Simple and condensed. Everyone can do this:
Flirt Myth #2: Impress the misses, get the kisses
That’s what we men get from the mass media. Not that it’s completely wrong. It’s just usually misunderstood.
Many men think it means they have to impress women with cars, vacations or great skills.
In fact, it is this very attempt to impress that makes them less attractive.
The train of thought behind it is:
A better idea is to do the opposite: stay HUMBLE.
A man climbs a mountain and tells no one.
That communicates to the woman: “I’m good enough to be liked just the way I am.”
This is a confident and attractive mindset. Paradoxically, therefore, the woman will be much more impressed by you if you don’t try to impress her.
Here’s an interesting article for you:
But just being yourself is not what you think it is.
For that we’re on to the next myth.
Flirt myth #3: Just be yourself and you can get any girl you want.
Let’s take a closer look at this overstretched advice.
By “be yourself” most people mean:
Sounds wonderful, doesn’t it? I wished it was that simple. But, unfortunately, we don’t live in La La Land.
If what you’ve done so far hasn’t resulted in some kind of fulfillment, I would suggest: try something else.
Think about it. Which one of these two women would you rather date?
One is a sweaty, overweight woman who makes you fall asleep with boredom during the conversation.
The other one reads a lot, exercises regularly, has a great sense of humor, and generally kicks life’s butt.
How hard is that decision really?
So yes, be self-confident, but don’t confuse it with “oh yes, I don’t have to work on myself”.
Here’s a checklist:
- Take care of your health
- Work out
- Advance in your career
- Surround yourself with cool, positive people
Be fundamentally open to change, even (and especially) when everyone else says: “stay as you are.”
To get the change you desire, have a look at this article:
Flirt Myth #4: If a woman doesn’t accept a compliment, she’s not interested
Do you know how often attractive women are bombarded with compliments?
Especially with social media and online dating, it’s beyond good and evil.
So a compliment means nothing to them, especially if it is not an original compliment.
Is that a problem?
Not if you’re a man who can stay calm.
How’s a woman supposed to know which guy is genuine, when every jackass compliments her? Well, they can’t really know that, so they test you.
Like the wheat from the chaff, they separate the strong and valuable from the weak and uninteresting men.
Another reason why women are sometimes a bit more dismissive is that they are told from everywhere that they can’t be too easy. Otherwise, they get “slut shamed”…
So the woman may find you attractive, but is reluctant to respond positively to your flirt attempt, because she doesn’t want to be judged by you or by observers.
So it may be worthwhile not to run away directly just because the woman does not immediately react super positively to your compliment.
If you want to know what women really like to hear, then check out this article. It’s easier than you think:
Flirt Myth #5: Time is your ally
Let’s not beat about the bush, because time is precious:
This thought is a prime example of black and white thinking.
Yes, time can be helpful. Of course, the more time you spend together, the more trust you can build.
But time can also work against you.
If you don’t try to get closer to the woman during this time, you can wait until your hair turns grey before anything happens.
Yesterday I heard a woman say:
And she did not say it with pride…
In fact, she was a little ashamed of it.
Fortunately, this myth isn’t as common in the male world as it is in the female. Men generally know that they have to do something. Still, there are many who think:
If you take too much time to make “your move”, the journey ends straight in the Friendzone.
But there is also the other extreme.
Dozens of “flirt coaches” say that you absolutely have to sleep with the woman on the first date, otherwise she loses interest.
You can do that, one-night-stands can be fantastic.
But if you want to avoid that women get cold feet or regret the time with you later, you can take your time. If you feel that she is a bit inhibited or hesitant, step on the brake pedal to save the woman from making decisions that she might regret later.
Make sure that you enjoy the time you spend together. So in that case, say things like:
Golden rule of thumb:
Two steps forward, one step backward.
Here’s how it works: You just assume the best (that the woman is into you), and you keep getting closer until she gives you some form of resistance. This can be verbal or non-verbal.
No matter how strong or weak it is, you immediately take a step back, give yourself a little more time and try to get closer to her again later.
In doing so, you must pay very close attention to whether the woman feels comfortable. Is she smiling? Does she have a relaxed body language?
If she becomes too tense or communicates clearly that she is not interested, leave it for now.
Flirt Myth #6: Women either want the bad boy or the gentleman
When it comes to the bad boy, many people think of a muscular guy who arrives on his Harley in a leather jacket, drinks like a black hole and doesn’t shy away from any fight.
Kind of like the Terminator.
Even though I find leather jackets stylish and certain fights super bueno (in a civilized manner in the form of martial arts, of course), you can’t put this myth into the “completely wrong” or “absolutely right” drawer.
The bad boy, just as the gentleman, has some characteristics that make him attractive to women.
The bad boy/asshole guy, or whatever you want to call him, is dominant, courageous and has a self-confidence that extends all the way to Manhattan. The gentleman / nice guy / whatever-you-name-him should take a close look and study the other guy well.
In contrast, the bad boy has about as much empathy as a calculator and his emotional intelligence can be summed up with a shrug of the shoulders.
This is something the Nice Guy can score with. He is understanding, and he listens.
If the woman is bitching or testing him in any other way, he often doesn’t have the balls to make his boundaries clear and just say: “Enough is enough!”
She loses respect.
And maybe you’re allowed to move her furniture or change her tires, but certainly not share the bed with her.
So you have to combine the qualities of the bad boy and the gentleman to become a BOSS.
Flirt Myth #7: Women need less sex than men
Sorry, I always have to laugh when I hear this.
How do men get this stupid idea that women don’t need sex as much, when they claw their nails into the mattress, and moan so loudly that the neighbors complain?
Well, to be honest, I used to think that, too.
But that was when I was a virgin.
At that time I thought my job as a man was to convince a woman to sleep with me, and that she was doing me a favor rather than enjoying it herself.
Fortunately, after years of experience with some women (remain humble, remember?), I can say that the opposite is true if you are a good man.
But here are a few facts in case my noble word is not enough for you:
A woman can have at least 5 different orgasms, while a man usually has one.
The female clitoris, smaller than a hazelnut, has more receptors than the entire male penis.
I could go on and on with more facts.
The point is:
Maybe not every woman can do this, but she definitely has the biological requirements for it – more than us men.
You can throw this myth into the bin.
Back to you:
The ancient scrolls of flirting
If you really want to learn the noble art of flirting, I have something for you. A downloadable kit where I teach you exactly how to flirt. Foolproof and in simple practicable steps.
Enter your name when you click on the link and I will send out everything immediately.
By doing so, I want to prevent men who are too lazy for that from profiting from my tips and don’t really commit to learn flirting.
However, I can sense you are everything but lazy.
May you do well!
Dan de Ram