Bad Luck In Love (For Men): 7 Real Reasons

Dan de Ram

29 Dec 2020 by Dan de Ram

It was the beginning of 2008…

A desperate man posted in a now defunct forum on the art of seduction:

“I give up. No matter how much advice you give me and how much I practice… I’ll never succeed in winning the heart of a woman I like.”

This may surprise you, but that man was ME.

It’s a pity that this forum no longer exists. I would put a lot of money into this post today.

I don’t like to make claims without being able to prove it, but today you’ll just have to believe that I really wrote this.

Put yourself in the shoes of a man who writes that kind of stuff…

How big must his despair be?

I wonder how unhappy he’s with himself and his love life.

But it’s no big deal.

Today I’m an experienced dating coach, I have already given countless men helpful tips and concerning women…

… let’s just say I know what I’m doing.

If I caught 18-year-old Dan typing this desperate post, I’d slap his neck and say:

“How do you little, inexperienced wiener know you’re unable to have success with women? Have you flirted with all the women in the world? Have you ever flirted properly? Have you really given your all when it comes to your love life?”

The 18-year-old Dan, tormented by acne, would then probably have lost his tongue for the time being.

Past Dan: “Um… but…” *Gets another slap on his neck*

Today’s Dan: “No buts! Stop whining. No wonder no woman wants you.”

Past Dan: “Whoa, why are you so mean?”

Today’s Dan: “Because you’re crying around instead of realizing your potential. If you knew what was really inside you, you’d understand why I’m such an ass to you right now.”

Past Dan: “What? Really? There’s potential in me?”

Today’s Dan: “No, you’re the first person in this world who has absolutely no chance with any woman… You’ll die a virgin, no matter how many women you approach… Of course, there’s potential in you, you idiot. You’ll even become one of the most famous dating coaches in the Netherlands.”

Pas Dan: “Hahahahaha good joke! You’re really funny. You probably get lots of women, but I’ll never be like you.”

Today’s Dan:

I just took my part-time schizophrenia out on you to wake you up.

It’s officially over, because today’s your day to learn:

By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?

You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.

Not lucky in love? – Step #1: Recognize the real reason

It’s not because of your looks or your social status.

It’s your fucking victim mentality!

If you think I’m being a little hard on you right now, just know that I’m preparing you for the brutal reality.

Because women will be even meaner to you if you encounter them with this attitude.

I speak from experience.

But don’t just take my word for it. Look at the comments a man received when he posted in one of the most popular forums for women.

 

Pretty mean answers, huh?

What did this man post to get such discouraging and insulting comments?

Did he write that all women are sluts?

Was he a sexist bastard?

That would at least explain the ruthlessness of the female users?

But now hold on. All that man wrote was:

Well, I don’t think he deserves these harsh comments and I think you feel the same way. But you have to understand:

Women are disgusted by men with a victim mentality.

They can’t help but continue to belittle him until his self-consciousness is ultimately erased.

I don’t think you want to make that your goal. That’s why you need to stop with the victim mentality right now.

That means: From today on, thoughts like…

are unacceptable!

Unfortunately, we have little control over what we think. Thoughts just happen.

That’s easy to prove:

Don’t even dare to think about a pink elephant!

Did you succeed?

It’s almost impossible to never think certain thoughts again.

But I expect (as of today!) from you that – as soon as one of the above thoughts buzzes around in your head – you stand up, lift your chest threateningly, point a finger at the thought and say with masculine certainty:

“I’m not listening to you anymore!”

No luck with girls? – Step #2: Realize that you’re already on the way to becoming a chick magnet

This probably sounds very implausible to you at the moment, but you’re on the right track.

What makes me think that?

Have you ever heard of the “Four stages of competence” model?

This is a well-known model from psychology, which describes the development from an incompetent to a competent individual.

I’m not here to sugarcoat things. You’re incompetent when it comes to women.

This isn’t just some stupid misbelief I have to exorcise, it’s a FACT. After all, there’s a reason you clicked on this article.

But there’s good news. Excellent news, in fact:

You may be on the threshold of competence right now.

The way to the top (= to the chick’s magnet) isn’t easy, but uncomplicated.

It looks like this:

(Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_stages_of_competence)

 

At the beginning of the “chain of seduction” are men, who are a single disaster when it comes to women, but aren’t even aware of it. Maybe they even think they know what they’re doing.

This is called the phase of “unconscious incompetence“.

These men still have a long way to go and you’re lucky that you aren’t on this level.

The second level is that of the “conscious incompetence” in which you currently find yourself.

You know very well that with women you have everything but a clue. It’s not easy to admit this to yourself, especially in a world where men are only “cool” when they know how to approach women and how to flirt a woman.

You know what? You have shown strength by admitting to yourself “Yup, I don’t know how to deal with women” and thus took the first (perhaps the most important) step.

This awareness allows you to take the necessary actions to move to the next level:

The “conscious competence”.

Look forward to this phase, because then you’ll finally know how to seduce women to make them crazy about you.

It’s all still very technical and you have to focus hard on the individual steps, but you’re right there.

This is followed by “unconscious competence”.

The end of the seduction chain is very thin. I know only a few men who are at this last stage and I’m constantly surrounded by badasses who are successful with women.

This is the phase in which it’s quite natural to seduce women. You don’t have to think about flirting techniques, you use them automatically.

You take women home like you’re going shopping.

When a seducer says to you: “Excellent push-pull technique. Did you do that to make her more invested in you? “, you just shrug your shoulders and say, “I guess so.

So, if you think you don’t stand a chance with women, you may already be on the verge of jumping to the next level.

 “Why am I so unlucky in love?” – Step #3: Developing a killer confidence

The thought that you have no chance in tempting girls is a clear sign of a lack of self-confidence.

Getting women interested in you can be difficult. Sometimes you get harsh rejections or disgusted looks.

Then it’s important to be convinced of yourself and think you’re enough, no matter what a woman thinks of you.

How you reach and maintain this state of consciousness I have written down in this article:

>> 12 Exercises I Used to Become More Confident Around Girls

No luck in love? – Step #4: Focus on FUN, not on women

Don’t make it your goal to get a girlfriend.

That seems needy and we now know how cold and brutal women react to needy men.

When you go out, constantly ask yourself, “How can I make the evening more epic and have more fun?”

Women notice good-humored men and become curious, which increases the likelihood that they want to be part of your evening TREMENDOUSLY.

No luck with women? – Step #5: Know when a woman likes you

Listen. I used to be soo sure I didn’t stand a chance with women, right?

Well, funnily enough, years later, four girls from my school at the time confessed to me that they were attracted to me.

And they were not even female orcs!

No, they were beautiful, popular women, of whom I’m still amazed today that they had a crush on me back then.

I had no idea because I was too busy thinking I was a loser.

The ability to recognize whether a woman likes me or not would have been of great help to me at that time. I don’t know if I would have entered a relationship with my secret admirers, but the validation would definitely have given me a small boost of self-confidence. (And God, I had needed that…)

This skill makes it so much easier to win over a woman. If you never know when you can kiss a woman and if she would go home with you, it becomes difficult.

Women are always very subtle with their signs (when they aren’t drunk). They don’t want to show clearly that they think a man is great, because otherwise they’re quickly labelled as a “slut”.

That’s why most men miss the subtle flirt signs.

If she wants to be seduced by you, then…

If you want to learn more about the subtle signs of a woman, this article is a must-read:

>> 27 Subtle Flirting Signs from a Woman You MUST Recognize

No luck in dating? – Step #6: Approach women

I’m constantly meeting new men with all kinds of dating-related problems.

I always ask those who claim they have no chances with women:

“How many women do you approach in an average week?”

The answer is almost exclusively and according to my expectations: Zero.

My second question then is:

“So how do you know you don’t have any chances?”

Even if a man unsuccessfully approaches 20 women per week, it would be a false assumption to think that this will be the case with every woman.

In science one never assumes a hundred percent probability. A first-class researcher always remains open to alternative results, no matter how high the chance of a certain event occurring.

If you let go of a glass, it falls towards the floor, right?

But can you really be sure that it’ll always be like this?

What if the gravitational conditions on our planet change from one day to the next?

A scientist here would assume a very high probability (99.9999%) that the glass would fall to the ground, but he would NEVER speak of 100%.

So, stay open to the fact that things might turn out differently if you approach a woman. Almost as if it’s the first time you communicate with the female sex.

In these articles you’ll learn how to approach a woman successfully:

>> How to approach women: 11 simple flirting tips < online soon

>> The 31 best pick-up lines: How to start a conversation in any situation < online soon

Step #7: Become a sexually attractive man

With us men, it’s usually pretty damn straightforward: We see breasts and we’re almost in love.

It works differently with women though: They pay close attention to your behavior.

Therefore, no matter what you look like, it’s essential that you learn how a sexually attractive man behaves.

I explain it in detail, and give you a step by step plan how to become one in my free Transformation Kit.

Get yours right here!

So, my young padawan.

So far, no one has managed to still think after these 7 steps that he has no chance with women.

It’s likely to stay that way.

For further questions you can always e-mail me or leave a comment.

It’s important to me that we get your “woman problem” under control once and for all!

Your bro,
Dan de Ram

Stop awkward conversations
and painful rejections

My free Transformation Kit will make you irresistible to women.

  • 12 Opening Lines that Actually Work
  • 5 Date Generating Texting Tips (Plus Copy-Paste Lines for Tinder)
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