You probably came to this page to kill your time by laughing your ass off.
Good. You’ve come to the right place.
But other than belly laughing at really bad pick up lines, you will also get tips to genuinely elicit attraction from her using those same terrible icebreakers.
You will discover:
- My top 10 worst pick up lines ever
- Bad pickup lines for WhatsApp & Tinder
- The truth behind good and bad pick up lines
- 20 Offensive pickup lines (do NOT use these!)
- The 28 worst pickup lines from women to men
- How to make made-up pickup lines effective
By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
As a dating coach who’s been in the industry for 11 years, I have seen some really bad pickup lines come by 😉
That’s why first of all, I will give you my Top 10 favorite worst pickup lines ever.
Don’t worry, we have another 190 bad opening lines in store for you.
And I will also give you tips on how you SHOULD approach a lady.
- Excuse me, are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ‘Ten’ I see.
- Did you get a speeding ticket today? Because you look fine!
- Do you have a quarter? I’m short for the condom dispenser.
- Can you please take your top off? It’s very distracting.
- According to my watch, you’re not wearing any panties. You are? Oh, sorry, it’s running one hour fast.
- Do you have mice in your belly? No? Then you must have a good pussy.
- Hey, do your parents have Down syndrome? Because you are really special.
- I don’t know much about women… but I would love to suck your dick.
- You are like my little toe, I want to bang you on every piece of furniture in my house.
- Did you just fart? Because you blew me away.
With the top 10 hilariously bad pickup lines behind us, here’s a short tip to increase your success with women.
The truth behind good and bad pickup lines
Recently, while hosting a seduction workshop, I gave a presentation about authenticity and got a clever question from one of our participants:
And before I answer it, let me first give you some context about the importance of authenticity.
When a woman gets approached in the middle of the day by a complete stranger, first of all, she would like to know who she’s dealing with.
Her inner dialog:
- “What does he want from me?”
- “Is he drunk or high?”
- “Can I trust him?”
If that man then says: “Hey, did it hurt when you fell out of heaven?”
That would be a huge turnoff for her.
Yes, on some level, she would feel flattered by his compliment. But most of all, she would feel bothered.
Because he’s not showing his true thoughts. He’s hiding behind a stolen pickup line.
If the first sentence he utters is not even the truth, can she trust the rest?
And that’s the problem.
Does that mean that pickup lines are by definition a bad thing?
Yes and no.
I will tell you why in the next tip. First, some more bad pick up lines, hehe.
#11-28: The driest worst pickup lines
The next pickup lines are insanely dry.
So hop in the shower or the bathtub, or you will get drier than a dust salad mixed with chalk and croutons.
Here they are:
*Sprinkles a drop of water on her*
*screams with joy*
Did you survive that Sahara desert of wrong pick up lines?
Then now I will show you a series of opening lines that you really should never use.
#25-42: The worst pickup lines that will lead to a smack in the face
Don’t believe everything Google tells you.
Type ‘pickup lines’ into the search engine and you will get enough phrases that aren’t opening lines but insults.
The next pickup lines fall into that last category.
And should never be said out loud… except to your girlfriend. (Kidding!)
Here are the most offensive ’pickup lines.’
“Jep. And in a minute, you will have a problem too, hihi.”
That last one might sound like a compliment— you’re blind with love— but you’re basically saying she has the face of an orc…
Not very flattering.
Okay, we just went over 42 bad opening lines that we can’t use.
Now it’s time for something useful.
Now you will get…
#43-53: Intentionally bad pickup lines for confident men
Women love confident men.
Because confidence is a sign of strength. And strength is very attractive.
The next intentionally bad pick up lines ooze of confidence but are extremely BAD.
Because these lines attest to so much self-love that they can be perceived as arrogance.
And most women don’t want to date a man who thinks he’s the centre of the universe.
Having said that, with the right attitude, a few of these following opening lines could genuinely elicit attraction.
Can you guess which ones?
At the end of the tip I will tell you the answer.
For now, let’s start with our intentionally bad pickup lines.
… have you thought about which one of these icebreakers is the best?
You’re probably wrong because… it was a trick question!
Each one of these opening lines can elicit attraction…
… if you apply the steps of the next tip.
How to make bad pickup lines effective
Bad pickup lines have one major issue…
Then how do you make those lines good?
You don’t. At best, you can make them effective.
Because what is the initial response when you approach a woman with a wrong pickup line?
Fear. Disgust. Awkwardness.
Not exactly a good impression.
Luckily you can always correct that first impression with radical honesty.
Did you just approach her with: “I’m having a party in my mouth. Wanna come?
Then you – almost immediately – want to put your cards on the table: “Haha, sorry. I always wanted to use that line. And you looked like someone who could take it. Hi, I’m Fred and I’m not as shallow as I seem.”
“I actually like to go quite deep.”
Haha, maybe don’t say that last part. Although, it does bring me to the next element you require to make opening lines effective: be funny.
If you approach a woman with a bad pickup line, you set a certain tone. And she expects you to be able to maintain that tone.
In other words, she expects that you can be playful and over the top.
Are you an introvert that can only joke around with his friends? Then you wanna stay away from edgy pickup lines because you’d be making a first impression that you can’t live up to.
You seem direct and playful but actually you’re pretty shy and politically correct.
Do you want to use wrong pickup lines effectively?
First develop a good sense of humor that you can also share with strangers.
#54-86: The worst sexual pickup lines
By far, most of the pickup lines men dish up to women are of sexual nature.
And pretty crude.
Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you.
Here they are:
(If you’re shorter than she is.)
*wipes tears from eyes*
All these terrible opening lines almost makes me embarrassed to have a Johnson.
Luckily, women too, can play this game.
As I will show you with the next series of wrong pickup lines.
#87-115: The worst pickup lines by women
In a moment you will get proof that women are just as dirty as men are.
Warning: not for sophisticated men.
(Moves her finger from your forehead to your chin)
(Pulls her pockets out of her jeans)
*Walks towards you and turns around*
*Grabs your chest*
*places your hand on her chest*
Damn! Those women sure know how to dish them out too!
If you’re lucky you might hear it one day.
Do you want to make your own luck and get these kinds of lines of women in the bar?
Then increase your attraction by following the steps of our free Transformation Kit.
If you follow the steps, you will get an animalistic vibe that drives women crazy.
The kit contains -among other things – 12 amazing pickup lines.
Now for my favorite category of bad icebreakers.
#116-135: The craziest of the worst opening lines
Nine out of ten times you don’t want to use scripted lines on women.
I hope by now it’s quite clear as to why that is.
But if I had to approach a woman in a bar or club with a canned line, I’d probably pick one of the following.
So, what makes these next bad pick up lines usable?
They’re original (read: crazy), they’re almost insane. And secretly, that is a very attractive quality.
Because a crazy person is someone who doesn’t take himself very seriously. And you can have many a good laugh with.
In other words: a fun and attractive person to date.
Pay attention: Some of these following opening lines – despite their craziness – are still very bad. That’s why they only make a good impression if you say them with a wink.
(For the Literal Larries out there: with ‘with a wink’ I of course mean with a playful attitude. A wink alone is not enough to dismantle wrong opening lines.)
Anyway, here are the craziest opening lines:
So much for the crazy pickup lines.
Now we have some of the most sugar sweet lines in store that you should already call your dentist for a check up.
#136-162: The most sugar sweet bad pickup lines
Men, remember the following:
Never sincerely use the next opening lines.
Some people think that these lines are actually complimentary but they will give her nothing but third degree cringe.
(cringe is slang for nuclear awkwardness.)
These lines are way too flattering to say to a stranger!
Calling someone whom you’ve just met ‘the answer to all your prayers’ is grade A baloney.
She makes your pickle tickle. And that’s not a reason to praise the heavens.
Enough babbling, here you have the worst pick up lines:
(Bumps into her gently)
*Gives her little pack of sugar*
I think this series of sugar sweet pick up lines just gave me diabetes.
Just to give some contrast I will give you some extra dark pick up lines.
#163-183: The darkest bad pickup lines
I’m about to do something potentially disastrous.
Something I can’t possibly come back from in the current political climate.
That’s why my lawyer told me to write the following:
Know that the next pickup lines in no way represent my opinion, point of view or vision.
With that behind us, let the fun begin and go over the ABSOLUTE WORST pick up lines.
Attention: The next lines are dark enough to swallow the sun.
Here they are:
*pulls out handkerchief*
*stares at her crotch for a long time and then looks into her eyes*
*throws bleach in eyes*
Okay, we can move on.
Yes, because we can impossibly end with all this darkness.
Or we might just summon Cthulhu out of the depths of the earth.
Furthermore we missed something incredibly fun and we’re about to fix that right now.
Go on to the next tip to see what I mean.
#184-200: The worst pickup lines on Tinder
What’s about to follow is fun and simple:
Seventeen real Tinder screenshots of desperate men and their seductive attempts.
So grab some popcorn and get comfortable.
Because here we go:
Wow. And it started off so civilized!
So weird that he didn’t get a reply. #sarcasm
This emoji opening line is self-explanatory.
And they say romance is dead…
This is where a lot of men mess up.
Yes, he just went from 10 to 100 mph. But considering the circumstances that’s not so weird.
After receiving a compliment, most men think: “She wants me! Full throttle!”
But of course, that’s not how women are wired.
With her compliment, she’s just showing interest. Which will be wasted in a heartbeat if you blunder like the dude above.
Does a woman give you a compliment?
Keep it playful: “I bet you say that to every man, player. ;)”
Or just say: “Thank you.”
Would you have never come up with this answer yourself?
Not to worry.
I have 15+ different golden pickup lines that increase your attraction.
That was the 200nd and last bad pickup line of this article.
Now for the 200 best opening lines. I hope you’re ready!
Although, I do have for you the best opening lines for Tinder.
Check out my Transformation Kit below.
Dan de Ram