Are you done with being walked all over in a relationship? It is excruciating not to have any say – I can understand that.
Being under someone’s thumb might even be a person’s worst nightmare…
But don’t worry! It happens to the best of us. And it happens much more often than you think.
Luckily, there are a lot of solutions. And I will share the best solutions with you here.
By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
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- 20 Signs that you’re being walked over in your relationship
- 3 Tips to reset your relationship and restore the balance
- #1: Find out why you ended up under her heel in the first place
- #2: Put the pants back on in your relationship
- #3: From now on, listen to your gut
After reading this article, you’ll know why your girlfriend or wife is walking over you and how you can get out from under her heel as soon as possible.
Let’s get to it, no moment to spare!
20 Signs that you’re being walked over in your relationship
Before we look for a solution, we must first answer the question: when are you under someone’s thumb?
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IMPORTANT recognizing only one signal is insufficient to indicate that you are under the slab. The more signals, the greater the chance you are being walked all over. So it’s all about the bigger picture.
With this knowledge in mind, we can move on to the signs.
She decides what you look like. She chooses your hairstyle, clothing, etc.
She manages your schedule (without your consent). You suddenly ‘must’ go to a movie, a ballet recital, or a boring birthday.
She always chooses what you guys do. You never get to pick the restaurant you are going to for dinner or the movie you guys are going to watch.
You never see your friends, because basically, she doesn’t allow it.
She suddenly got a new pet. You knew nothing about it! (This is a sign when you live together and will have to take care of the pet together)
She has control over all the finances – you have no idea what is happening financially.
You have to always pick up when she calls and reply to her texts within minutes of receiving them.
You haven’t felt like yourself in a long time. You haven’t been listening to the same music, your hobbies will be adding away, and you often feel alone.
You walk on eggshells to not make her upset – her reaction is hard to predict.
She always has the right to veto (you don’t).
You are the maid of the house. You have to do all the cleaning, laundry, dishes, etc. Otherwise, they won’t be done (or you end up fighting).
She dictates how you should act. What you’re allowed to do and what not. What lame jokes are okay and which you should stop making. Oftewel: you are not allowed to be yourself.
You have no time for some ‘me-time.’ She needs to be part of everything you do. When you try to take some personal space, all hell breaks loose at home.
You always need to be there for her, even if it’s 4 am, but you have the feeling she’ll never be there to have your back.
You’ve been saying “I don’t mind” so often that you get the feeling you don’t exist.
You pay for everything, from the expensive cocktails she drinks to the exclusive luxury sneakers she just had to have.
The presents she asks for (or demands, so to speak) are incredibly expensive. However, at the same time, you need to be happy when receiving a pair of socks from Target.
It doesn’t matter whether you guys are fighting, arguing, or discussing: it’s always your fault.
She never laughs at your jokes anymore.
You guys go home when she says so, not sooner, not later.
>> Too Nice for Your Own Good? 7 Ways to Not Be a Boring and Unattractive Nice Guy
3 Tips to reset your relationship and restore the balance
I have good and bad news for you.
The good news:
Just because you’re under her thumb doesn’t automatically mean your partner is a b^$&!
In fact, I think deep down she’s a really nice woman. Although you may see it differently now…
The bad news:
The reason your partner rules the relationship with an iron fist most likely lies with you!
Not nice to hear, I know. But I had to tell it to you straight because I really wish you have the healthy and loving relationship you deserve.
Either way, the dynamics in a relationship don’t just happen on their own.
You determine (consciously and unconsciously) how others treat you.
If you let yourself be easily walked over, then no wonder that you’re pussy whipped.
You can read how to get out of that role in the following 3 tips!
#1: Find out why you ended up under her heel in the first place
By far, the biggest reason that men get walked all over in a relationship is the following:
They say ‘Yes’ too often.
- “Would you like to take out the trash?” Yes.
- “Can you please pick up my mother from the airport?” Of course.
- “Can you drop me off at the hairdresser’s, take Diva to the vet and then scrub the bathroom so I can take a nice bath?” Only if I can kiss your ass afterward, honey.
What’s so wrong with this?
You create an illusion that you’re cool with everything.
This way, she doesn’t know where your limits are (and if you have any), and she feels incredibly comfortable bossing you around all the time.
She has no idea that it bothers you.
Can you blame her?
After all, you never express your feelings!
Yes and no.
Yes, because somehow, it makes sense that your partner can’t use you as a butler.
No, because she may be following the pattern of her parents and/or previous relationships.
No matter what’s going on with her, there’s one thing you need to do right now.
You can read what that is in the next tip.
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#2: Put the pants back on in your relationship
This is the best way to take control of your life and your relationship:
But I do say this with the following footnote.
It is, of course, not the intention that you turn the tables and now rule as an iron tyrant over your girlfriend. However, your relationship should become more balanced!
Back to the reason you’re being walked over: you’ve said yes too many times when you actually wanted to say no.
Therefore, the solution to getting back into a respectful relationship is surprisingly simple…
…say no more often.
Yes, she’ll be shocked. She may also react fiercely. She might even cry because she’s not used to it.
But it’s essential to show what you want in order to feel happy in the relationship.
Furthermore, you also owe it to her to say where you stand.
Because by constantly agreeing to her desires, you are giving her the wrong impression of who you are.
Sure, you think you’re doing the right thing by not making a fuss. But precisely because you try so hard not to hurt her at that moment (and ignore yourself), you hurt her in the long term.
After all, you run the risk that she grows to love the feel of walking over you.
Will she find out you’re not the footstool she thought you were? Then she’s loved someone who doesn’t exist all this time!
And that’s quite painful.
>> Signs of a Healthy Relationship: 11 Telling Questions
#3: From now on, listen to your gut
If you apply the insights of this tip, you will never end up under a woman’s thumb again.
Yep, say goodbye to being under her heel.
After today, never again!
So, what’s the trick?
Dare to express your feelings.
I know, it sounds too easy to work.
Still, communicating your feelings is key.
Women who command their partner around often do not realize they’re hurting him.
After all, he never disagrees.
Does she have to sense that you don’t feel like doing chores?
Of course not.
Don’t make this a guessing game, just tell her!
The next time she asks you to do something you don’t feel like doing, say something like this:
[QMAN] “Sorry, but I don’t feel up for that. This may sound like it’s coming out of nowhere, but lately, I feel like I’m doing chores for you so much that I don’t have time for myself anymore. And that makes me a little unhappy. Can you please do it yourself?” [/QMAN]
Until you can communicate well with your partner, you will never have a satisfying relationship.
So learn to express your feelings.
Worried that your girlfriend will like you less?
No worries, I have a trick that’ll make you irresistible even if you reject her ideas.
How to achieve that?
With the flirt tips in my Transformation Kit.
The kit is full of easy conversation techniques that allow you to chat her up smoothly and seductively. It will make her utterly crazy about you.
You can download it by scrolling down and pressing the big button.
Dan de Ram
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