“But what should I say to her?”
I hear this sentence almost daily. Maybe it’s been buzzing around in your head at times.
Many men don’t know or are unsure what to say to a woman to open a conversation. Have you ever wished you had some sort of “approach dictionary”?
What kind of dating coach would I be if I didn’t write down the best, most original and cheeky pick-up lines that work (also called “openers”) immediately after I tested them successfully.
This article is the result of carefully collecting the most effective pick-up lines for the last decade.
- The 31 best pick-up lines to successfully approach a woman
- The #1 method for making women attracted to you
- How you can finally overcome approach anxiety
- The formula to make even the worst pick-up lines work
- Many more pick-up lines that work…
By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
Witty pick-up lines for men
A while ago I was in one of my favorite clubs in Amsterdam. There I enjoyed one of the last gigs of one of my favorite rappers, who I used to hear a lot when I was a teeny (which isn’t exactly the classic favorite artist of a young pubescent person).
For the sake of the good old days I went there with two friends to support him on his last tour.
I had sworn to myself to NOT approach any women this evening, but only to enjoy the music. I was 100% sober and had no intention of drinking anything.
The rapper made the hut go wild. I went off like crazy, lost my friends several times and was bathed in sweat…
I danced like a fool and drank only water, so I was healthy and hydrated on the way.
Surprising turn of events: One of the most beautiful women that evening suddenly bounced to the beat next to me and kept looking over to me…
At that moment, my “resolution” not to approach women was forgotten. I introduced myself to her, she told me her name enthusiastically and we burned down the club together afterward: More crazy dance moves, more grooving, more sweat…
She seemed pretty cool. The rest of the evening we danced, kissed and talked to strangers together.
She was one of the most beautiful women I’d ever taken home with me.
Several times that night I thought, “Okay? I didn’t do much… I was just having fun and talked to her!”
That evening I discovered one of the most effective attraction formulas:
Fun + a solid conversation start = pussy <3
Today you’ll learn the best pick-up lines/ openers for men and everything you need to know to successfully approach women!
The best opener ever
At our Summer Bootcamp 2019 (= one week long of approaching women with your favorite coaches) one of our students unexpectedly had gigantic success, although the first two days were “meh” for him.
In retrospect, he said to me:
If I tell you the opener now, you may find it disappointing or think I’m joking. But wait and see.
It works as follows: You go straight to a woman, you put your hand out to her and you say relaxed:
- “Hi, [your name].”
This communicates so much self-confidence that you immediately and abruptly make a memorable, strong first impression.
The subcommunication is:
“I don’t need an excuse or a pick-up line to talk to you. I’m a purposeful, fearless man, and I’m not trying desperately to please you… I’m just giving you a chance to get to know ME.”
Ask yourself this question: “What would seducing women look like if it were fucking easy?”
The answer is: Just like this!
You simply introduce yourself without trying too hard and without complicating things.
Pick-up lines which fulfill these requirements turned out to be the best and so I approached 80% of the women I like this way.
More examples of simple and effective openers:
- “Hi. I like you. What’s your name?”
- “Hey, you seem awesome. I got to meet you guys!”
- “Hi. You really do have great vibe. My name is…”
- “Hey, I don’t believe we’ve met yet. My name is…”
Simple, short and effective. Just the way we men like it. 🙂
Cute funny pick-up lines/ pick-up jokes
These funny openers show you how to start a funny conversation right away, whether in real life or on Tinder.
Using them you avoid from the beginning that your conversation develops into a boring talk about studies, work and origin.
When my coaching students are extremely nervous and trapped in their heads, I often let them approach women with funny openers to put themselves in a different mindset and thus in a good mood.
Use these openers at your own risk:
- “My love for you is bigger than pizza.”
- “Why did you invite all these people? I thought tonight was just about you and me!”
- “You kind of remind me of Smurfette.”
- “Hey. Marry me!” (works especially well at night)
- In a club or a bar: “Do you know where I can buy organic carrots here?”
- On every second or third word, make a “air quotes” gestures with your hands: “I just “saw” you and “thought” I’d say “hi” and “ask” what your “name” is.”
Cool pick-up lines
- “What up, bro!” (This line works so well because that’s about the least feminine thing you can say to her)
- Pick her up, turn around and yell, “Helicopter!” (Bonus points if you make helicopter noises)
- Scratch her knee and say, “I had an itch on your knee.”
- “May I ask you something? What’s it like to kiss someone with a giant beard?”
- “I can take women to higher realms. Do you want to see?” Don’t wait for her answer, just pick her up right now!
- “Hi, I’m boring, predictable and disloyal. Hashtag perfect son-in-law.”
- “You have really nice eyebrows!” (Women nowadays often have complexes about that. Very few men are aware of this and that’s what makes this sentence such a good opener. Specific and rare compliments are the best ones 🙂
- “Hey, what’s your favorite superhero?”
- “Penguins or polar bears? Decide NOW! Go!”
- “I want to buy you a house.”
I would like to go into the last opener in more detail, because you’re probably wondering what makes it such a recommendable first line
I have a friend who used that exact phrase. He also approached his current wife with it at the time.
At the time, I didn’t understand why it worked so well.
But then I tested it and since then it belongs to my personal, exquisite opener repertoire. The great thing is that you can improvise well using it.
I then say, for example, that the house has a big kitchen and ask her if she’s good at cooking.
Or that I’m a gentleman and that she’s allowed to furnish the cellar, in which I lock her up, herself of course (with a smile on my face of course!).
High risk = high reward
If you start a conversation with a cheesy compliment, you may very quickly come across as needy.
She might think:
For this reason one thing works particularly well, which I call “the critical compliment” (© Dan).
This is the kind of opener 90% of men would never dare to say. In that case, it’s easy to stand out from the average Joe, isn’t it?
A basic principle in seducing women (and many other things in life) is:
High risk = high reward.
This means that the bolder an approach is, the more impact it has.
Women know that it needs balls to say certain things to them and they’ll appreciate (consciously or unconsciously) when you show those balls.
Critical compliments embody one of the most important factors in flirting:
The push/pull effect.
This means that you say something positive and then immediately throw in a critical remark.
As an opener, this looks as follows:
- “Nice outfit, a little too much.”
- “You look really hot. These high heels, your jeans… I’m just not sure about the top…”
- “You really are the most beautiful woman I’ve met… in the last two minutes.”
- “I think your style is really cool, but the nail polish… well, what can I say…”
Never criticize something she can’t change (such as size, nose, hair…) or something she could be insecure about (such as her figure). Otherwise it’s just an insult.
The line is thin and that’s why few people dare to go anywhere near this line. However, if you hit it exactly, you automatically have an advantage over other men that no one can catch up with so quickly.
How to give your opener the right effect
If you’ve been studying the psychology between men and women for some time, you now know that neediness is an extremely unattractive quality for women.
But maybe you don’t know the best way to eradicate neediness within you like an exterminator eradicates cockroaches:
To amuse yourself.
When you amuse yourself to the fullest, you leave no room for needy feelings. Only then do you look authentic. Women see, feel, smell, hear and taste this in the air that surrounds you.
These wonderful beings have extremely sensitive detectors when it comes to the amount of neediness in a man.
I was once literally jumped on after I lost to an Italian in the last minute of a kicker match. As if losing at the 2010 World Cup final wasn’t enough…
I lost by one point at the back but didn’t lose a leg, stayed cool, relaxed and even had a lot of fun!
A pretty brunette with a cute snub nose noticed this and she tried to get closer to me. After five to ten minutes we kissed.
After another ten minutes I asked (she’s also Italian):
Her answer was to drag me to her friends to say goodbye and leave the party with me, like a good friend does…
This “state of 100% fun” is so influential that it could be considered a cheat code. Unfortunately, far too many guys (especially in the pick-up scene) have trouble getting into it, or focus on the wrong things…
Bad pick-up lines
In a paradoxical way, I love bad pick-up lines.
Now and then there are some that are so bad that they’re almost good again…
But seriously: Fuck bad pick-up lines unless you use them to amuse yourself!
I often ask women about seducing women while I’m seducing these women (can you still follow me?). This makes it even more fun and I learn about other guys and therefore about my job.
How much I love pragmatism and efficiency…
However… the following inappropriate (!) pick-up lines are – according to the women – actually used by some men.
The most popular, bad openers
Or how about those bad ones:
- “I must arrest you for stealing my heart.”
- “Did I happen to land in heaven? Because you look like an angel!”
- “I hope you took a first aid course because you’re taking my breath away.”
- “If you were a hamburger at McDonalds, you’d be a McBeautiful”
- “Is it that hot in here, or am I getting hot because of you?”
- “Actually, I’m gay, but I’d make an exception for you.”
- “Do you’ve a band-aid on you? I scraped my knee because you knocked me down.”
- “If I were a watermelon, would you spit out my seeds or swallow them?”
The formula to make even the worst pick-up lines work
If you’ve seen videos of me talking to women, you might have noticed that my lines are also often damn bad.
The reaction of some people who watch my videos and still see me walking away with the number or more is priceless!
I’ve come up with a formula to help you succeed even with the worst pick-up line.
It’s: Being expressive + freeze + being unimpressed = successful approach
By “being expressive” I mean, HOW you deliver the pick-up line.
The important thing is to not seem too serious about it and showing this clearly.
How do you do it? By putting a minimal mischievous smile on your lips. I’m talking about the smile you’d have if your best friend had a penis painted on his forehead in his sleep. You think it’s funny, but you don’t want to show it.
With “freeze” I mean to freeze briefly, let the line work and give her space to react. It’ll confuse her and if you immediately start laughing out loud, say something else or dissolve the “joke”, then this confusion will only grow unnecessarily so much that she’ll prefer to leave the conversation.
So, let two or three seconds pass, in which you stand calmly and smirk at her.
What’s behind the variable “being unimpressed”?
Simple: After a bad pick-up line, there’s a high probability that she’ll say things like:
If she does, it’s essential that you stay COOL. If you’re unshaken like a tower of strength and respond with a smile like “Yep, it is.” then you have a great chance to impress her with that.
Because male unshakableness is one of the most attractive qualities in this solar system.
More bad pick-up lines for your entertainment:
- “Hey… can you show me the way… because I’m lost… in your… EYES”
- “Nice clothes you have on… but too bad you’re wearing them…”
- “Come sit on my lap and we’ll talk about the first thing that comes up.”
- “You stink. Let’s shower together.”
- “Only 0.5% of women have a fulfilled sex life… that’s all the time I have!”
- *Spill a drop of water on her* “Shouldn’t we get rid of your wet clothes?”
- “Fancy a game of tongue wrestling?”
Approaching women during the day
A warning was issued.
The following openers are made for you to fall right in with the door.
They work so well because you immediately get what you want: A reaction.
The result will be that you’ll either get her number or a polite “No, thanks”.
If you don’t immediately make your intention clear, then a woman in the street will ask herself why you’re still talking to her.
Below are a few of the best pick-up lines of all time to approach women during the day:
- “Hi, I saw you standing here and I just had to come over and tell you: You look really good!”
- “Okay listen, I was just about to do my thing when I saw you and got totally distracted… Hi, I’m [your name]”
- “Wow, you have a killer look… you’re Russian, right?” (Make a statement)
- “Sorry, I’ll be honest with you, because I have an appointment in a few minutes… I think you’re really cute and I think it would be fun to go out for a drink with you. What’s your number?”
- “A little random, maybe a little unusual, but I like you and I thought I’d say hi.”
- “Hi! Do you know where there’s a café nearby? You know what? I can’t lie to you. Actually, I approached you because I find you attractive.”
Approach = Check. What’s next?
- Make statements and don’t ask too many questions – Making statements comes across more spontaneously, is more likely to engage a beautiful woman and trigger her interest. So, don’t start interviewing her like an FBI agent, but stick with statements.
- Ask if she’s single – Some men think you shouldn’t start with that, but I don’t see any reason to not ask her if she’s single. Just ask her directly if she has a boyfriend or if she’s single. If she’s taken, you’ve saved yourself a lot of time with just one question.
- Tell her she’s sexy – Very few men dare to do that. Every woman wants to be feminine and sexy, but her insecurities unfortunately gets in the way all too often. A funny way of telling her that is, “You know you’re incredibly sexy, don’t you?”
- Get her number or go on an instant date
Essential approach tips
The right mindset
You’re going to focus on your own amusement. Don’t think of it as a technique for seducing women but put your fun first.
Boy, if you don’t have any friends, how the hell are you going to get a girlfriend?
My friends are funnier, more interesting and cooler than any chick I could meet in a club, which doesn’t mean that I won’t leave my bros to flirt with just that woman.
Maybe you’ve heard of the rule of five:
So, get new, quality buddies, spend less time with those who are just in your way, and consider getting female friends as well.
Definition: approach anxiety is the paralyzing feeling of fear that arises when you think about approaching a woman.
The curious thing is that you lose this fear after a few seconds in conversation.
But this first inhibition threshold, this first step, the fear of rejection … AARGGHHHH!
It can be abnormally frustrating.
Here are tips that can help you get over this first threshold. After that, it’s up to you.
It’s nothing more than warming up in the gym. After all, you don’t go to the squat stand without warming up, put on 300 pounds. and put them on your back.
No, you first get your circulation going and slowly increase your weight.
Neither do you have to go straight to the hottest girl in the club after you’ve been playing Call of Duty all day alone in the basement.
Get in the mood first. Talk to as many people as possible, both men and women.
A simple “Hey man, are you having fun?” or “Cool shirt!” is all it takes. With every casual compliment, with every high-five and with every “Hey!” you show your brain that it’s okay to talk to strangers.
The 3-second rule
A damn useful rule is that you have to approach a woman within 3 seconds to prevent inhibiting thoughts from spreading in your head.
Only after 3 seconds do we think and invent all kinds of reasons why it’s a bad idea to approach her.
From now on, if you see a beautiful woman, this is what you do:
Count to 3 and GO!!!
Have you ever noticed that it’s easier to do things once you’re in the game?
This is also the case with approaching women.
If you know me better, then you know that I used to study a lot about “sports”
There are a few sports where a flying start is performed. This is often the case in cycling.
With a flying start, the athletes already have a high speed with which they cross the start line. Of course, one gets “in motion” much faster this way.
What does that mean for you and your approach anxiety?
Avoid standing around as much as possible. Move! Far too many men stand around the bar and wonder why they can’t bring themselves to talk to a woman.
Take a lap around the club and then walk up to a woman in one go. It’s a very clever trick. MacGyver would be proud of it.
Everything has an end, bro. Even the action series “MacGyver” and yes, you got it, even this article… I could have written about this forever, but there are so many other things we need to discuss.
Nevertheless, I hope to have helped you with my wise words and semi-good jokes.
PS: If you want to learn more about flirting, check out this free package I put together for you:
May the force be with you!
Dan de Ram