9 Ways to Connect with Girls to Be More Than ‘Just Friends’

Dan de Ram

4 Jan 2021 by Dan de Ram

Always with a mobile phone in your hand, with which you can contact anyone.

Dozens of apps to find your match.

But even with all these modern possibilities, it doesn’t become easier for you to connect with girls.

The thought of connecting with girls in real life absolutely terrifies you.

The first image that ‘connecting’ might bring up for you, is that of a pushy guy who bothers women.

But let me tell you this…

It doesn’t have to be that way.

There is a way to connect with women, without ‘bothering’ them or coming across as pushy.

What’s more, there’s a way to make a woman feel great.

I’m going to tell you exactly how to do that.

In this article you will get:

By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?

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You might think that women are used to meeting many men.

And you’re right about that.

But the reality is that they don’t often meet men that make them melt away.

I’m going to share 9 tips with you, to connect with women in a warm, seductive way.

An authentic way.

This way you show that the guy who goes after a woman actually exists.

And that dude is YOU!

But first we need to know where to find those lovely girls…

Tip #1: The 3 Valhalla’s for connecting with women

Many men think that you can only meet men in night life or online.

But the truth is that you can meet lovely women everywhere, at any time of day.

1: In public transport

Try Grand Central Terminal, New York…

The quietest place in the city.

Sound weird?

Just have a listen when you’re standing on a busy platform, or sitting in a train.

Sometimes you literally don’t hear ANYONE talking.

This is the ‘unspoken’ rule of public transport.

This rule ‘forbids’ everyone from talking with each other.

Still, it’s the best place if you’re thinking about how to connect with a girl.

But, it’s not without risk.

Do it wrong and you could come across as creepy.

Because nobody wants to stand beside a woman they just got rejected by in awkward silence for 7 more stops.

Or get funny looks from everyone on the platform.

But if you do this the right way… (I’ll get to exactly how)

Then you’ll give her a romantic meeting, that she can look back on for years to come, and that she’ll continue to repeat to her friends.

Romantic meetings in the train aren’t just for in the movies.

2: The supermarket

This is one of the most underestimated places to connect with women.

Men rarely approach women in the supermarket.

Why?

I have no idea.

Because they forget that you have a massive advantage:

No competition

Of course you want to do it the right way…

And not create an awkward situation between the two of you…

That will make the cucumbers in your baskets curl.

And as you stand there in the line for the cash desk, makes you feel like you’re on your way to the slaughter house.

So when you make contact with that gorgeous lady who’s standing there deciding which eggplant to buy…

Stay away from those semi-funny openers about big melons or firm bananas.

Or actually…

Anything that can raise the thought of a male or female reproductive organ.

Even if it’s the best joke you’ve made up in a while.

Keep those jokes between you and your buddies.

Later in this article. I’m going to tell you what you should talk about with these women.

3: On the street

You’ve had countless opportunities to connect with women on the street.

Women rarely get approached when they are out walking on the street.

You can use this in your favor.

For almost any woman it’s her fairytale dream to meet her prince charming out of nowhere while she’s walking on the street minding her own business.

Women love that special fairytale of “How we first met”.

What version do you think women would rather tell?

“We met each other randomly on the street. He was so confident and charming that I had to give him my number.”

Or:

“We met on Tinder. I thought he looked buff, so I swiped right.”

Make her fairytale a reality and be her modern Prince Charming.

Now we know where we can meet women…

But how are we going to connect with them? And talk WITH them instead of AT their cold shoulder?

Tip #2: One simple way to have her drooling over your attention

Know this situation?

You’re walking on the street.

Or at a different location, like the ones mentioned above.

You meet a lovely lady.

Cute, tall, blonde, red blouse, tight jeans.

She steals a brief moment of eye contact with you…

Your heart skips a beat.

“FUUCK, she’s hot”

She walks by you.

“Did she just secretly take another peek?!”

You want to talk to her so badly.

Every cell in your body is screaming for you to meet her.

But the only thing that goes through your head is…

“…HOW…How can I make contact with her…”

After you’ve crossed paths, you glance behind you.

You see her slowly become smaller in the distance.

Then, out of nowhere, a dark silhouette appears.

He waves at her to grab her attention…

He has a quick chat with her…

And 5 minutes later they continue walking…

THAT COULD HAVE BEEN YOU

PROVIDING, you know how to grab her attention in the right way.

Here’s how to do this successfully:

Cool.

Now we have her full attention, we can start the conversation.

Tip #3: My number one ‘Panty-dropper’ conversation-opener

This will make her crave having a conversation with you.

Pretty much the simplest way that I recommend beginners to do this at our weekend bootcamps, is to start with a compliment.

BUT.

Avoid average, middle of the road or superficial compliments that focus on her looks. This is what 9 out of 10 guys do:

“You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.”

Perhaps as a Prince lyric this would sound good, but in real life it’s not so convincing.

So how do we give a compliment then?

You do this by being specific.

Being specific about something that makes her special.

This could be:

And because I like to stick with the practical, I have some examples here that work like a charm.

Steal them AND use them:

“Hi, this might seem a bit random, but you really have a fantastic vibe about you.”

“Hi, I think it’s so awesome to see that you’re all smiles right now.” 

“Hi, I wanted to say that you have a really unique style.”

“Hi, you have the most feminine vibe I’ve seen today.”

Have no inspiration at the last minute?

Then use this one:

“I just wanted to come say ‘hi’, my name is…”

It’s a classic, but oh so good.

Just saying ‘hi’ communicates so much confidence.

This way, you don’t even need a compliment or opener to make contact with her.

Tip #4: Common mistakes that all men make at the start of a conversation

If you make these 3 mistakes, you throw all the chances you created with her out of the window immediately.

Do this, and it’ll be like the conversation just slit its own wrists.

She’ll think: “Oh, there’s another Average Andy, and he seemed so cool when he came to talk to me.”

To prevent this, I’m going to show you the 3 most common mistakes that men make at the start of conversations.

1: Trying to make too much of an impression by bragging

“Oh man, she’s so fucking cute… I have to pull out all the weapons in my arsenal in order to make a good impression on her.”

This is the thought of many men, when they stand chatting with a hot woman.

To make an impression, they try to impress her, with things they think she wants to hear.

I work at a bank, I go to the gym 5 times a week, oh yea, did I mention my two kittens?”

Try to impress her, ruin your chances.

By trying too hard to make an impression, you show that you want her to like you too badly.

This way you’ll ensure that those two kittens remain your only company to cuddle with…

2: Being overly nice

“I am a librarian. I’ve always wanted to be a librarian.”

“Oh wow, that’s the most interesting thing I’ve ever heard!”

Recognizable?

A beautiful woman tells you something you find more boring than watching paint dry…

And for some reason you say that’s fantastic.

I see this a lot.

Her beauty blinds you, and suddenly everything she says sounds fantastic to your ears.

By being overly nice to her, you change into a “YES-man”. However contradictory this sounds, this way you’ll only keep hearing ‘NO’ from women.

3: Showing too little interest in her

Many men are still so caught up with what they want from a woman, that they forget to show interest in her.

They are so busy in their heads trying to make an impression and get her to like them, that they forget what this is about:

To see if an attractive woman is interesting for you.

And here’s exactly how to do this…

Tip #5: How to quickly develop trust in order to instantly get a ‘slice of her pie’

I’m going to be motherflippin’ real with you bro.

A woman is not going to lay bare her soul, her dreams, deepest desires to you.

For this you’ll first have to show her she can trust you.

Because if you can’t get her to trust you, you can make as much connection as you want…

But your conversations will remain at an elementary level forever.

And that’s not a nice place to be dear brother.

How to make sure she trusts you soon?

First:

In order to trust you, she needs to get to know you.

You don’t do this by rapid-firing interview questions at her at the beginning of the conversation.

She gets to know you if you first tell her some things about yourself.

This takes the pressure off the conversation for her.

This way she can quickly see who she’s dealing with.

It also makes sure that she doesn’t have to provide all the interesting information in the conversation.

Instead of asking:

“Where are you from?”

You say:

 “I don’t know where you live, but I’m in…”

Here are 3 more examples to instantly build trust with her.

“I was just on my way to XYZ, what are you up to?”

“I’ve just had an amazing cappuccino, it was so delicious.”

“I’ve just bought a kilo of broccoli, funny, I used to hate broccoli.”

By saying something personal, you easily build trust with her.

This will get her excited to share personal things with you.

For questions to get to know her inside and out, I have a special article for you:

>> The 131 Least Boring Questions Ever to Ask Your Date (Date & Relationship)

Tip #6: How to get that sexy voice that attracts women like a magnet

You’ve probably heard a recording of your own voice.

Most people find this quite cringy.

You hadn’t expected it to be so nasal and high.

Or how you mumble.

At that moment you probably wished you spoke more manly, and with a deeper sounding voice.

Having a deep, masculine sound has great advantages.

Women prefer men with a deeper sound.

A strong, deep vocal sound communicates leadership, assertiveness and safety. So it will help you build her confidence in you faster.

It would be great if you could just swap your voice for another voice.

Bummer.

You’ll have to make do with what you have.

So if you sound like Super Mario… (or worse: Toad)

You’ll probably never sound like Sean Connery.

And that’s fine.

You don’t have to sound like Sean Connery, to successfully connect with women.

Instead of that we’re going to see how we can optimize what you do have.

So I’m giving you 3 tips, that will help you get a deeper, more masculine voice in no-time.

1: Breathe deeper

Breathe in…

Are your shoulders and chest moving?

Yes?

Then you’re making a mistake.

If your chest and shoulders are rising, it means that you’re breathing from your chest.

If you’re breathing from your chest, your voice will sound higher-pitched.

Look at how babies breathe.

They breathe from their belly.

When we grow up, people automatically and unconsciously assume a wrong way of breathing.

Breathing from your belly when you speak, does a few things for the sound of your voice.

First, it gives your voice more power.

Because you have more room to create ‘volume’.

The second advantage to breathing from your belly, is that your voice will naturally start sounding deeper.

Like a boss.

Low.

Slow.

Deep.

2: Talk slower

Most men who I get at a training have problems with this:

Speaking too fast.

Especially when giving the compliment.

I call this the ‘Let’s get it over with’ mentality.

When they approach or compliment a woman, they smash the words out like a malfunctioning AK-47, to get it over with as quickly as possible.

“Heyisawyoustandingthereandhadtotalktoyoubecauseithinkyeahyouhadaprettynicevibesoiwascurioustomeetyoubye”

OOOOFFF

“There we go, at least I gave her a quick compliment.”

Ok, sure.

But we don’t make much of an impression with it.

What you want to do is take your time.

Leave pauses.

Let there be silence.

This way your words and message land better and make more of an impression on her.

3: Speak louder

You’re probably thinking that you talk loud enough.

Most men think this.

But most of them speak too softly.

If you have to repeat yourself when you’re talking with a woman, you’re talking too quietly.

Speaking from your stomach helps to gain more volume.

A good tip, is to imagine your words are like a laser beam that penetrates people’s bodies.

Imagine your words one meter behind the woman you’re talking with, and aim at that point.

Tip #7: The body part of a woman you look at first

What body part do you look at first when you meet someone?

BREASTS!!

No dude, that’s in-cor-rect.

“Her face?”

“Eyes?”.

“Mouth?”.

Nope, nope aaaaaand NOPE.

Something many people don’t know is that the first place we instinctively look at is,

The hands.

This is a remainder from our primitive times.

When in those days we were approached by a stranger, we’d first check whether they were carrying a spear or a stone with which they could rob us of our precious freshly-picked load of blueberries.

So today still, when we first meet someone, we look at their hands first.

Our brain things when we can’t see someone’s hands, we can’t trust that person yet.

”Hands have their own language”
- Simon van Booy

I understand it seems more comfortable and nonchalant to put them deep in your pockets.

But this puts your chances with a woman at a 1-0 disadvantage.

So use your hands to your advantage.

You do this by using them when you’re talking.

Use gestures to illustrate and strengthen what you’re saying.

These are small tweaks that will mean a woman will feel more at ease with you.

Tip #8: How to make the difference between rejection and success in 1 minute

She looks down on you with disgust, while making disapproving sounds.

What a cold glance.

A clear, harsh, “GO AWAY” would have left more remaining of your self confidence.

As you’ve probably noticed, circumstances in a bar or club can work against you.

Many men, who approach women in a bar or club are quickly seen as creeps.

It’s not fair, but it’s simply the reality that goes with the environment.

Women in bars and clubs are often approached.

“Who is this guy and what does he want from me?”

It’s totally understandable that she thinks this. She doesn’t know you.

At that first moment she’s not going to know yet how cool you are.

Until you’ve proven the opposite, you’re still just a creep to her.

So most men just split after that first cold stare, and run home to their mom.

To salvage the last little piece of their confidence.

Many men think that women should be completely sold on them within the first minute.

And yes, it happens.

But those moments are the exception to the rule.

If a woman were to find every guy they meet totally fantastic immediately, then she’d be laying on her back all day.

Besides, she can use a cold shoulder to test you, to see whether you’re as confident as you seem.

Good.

Now we know the underlying reason why women do this…

How can we change it into our advantage?

What you need to do, is stick with her for at least a minute, and keep talking.

1 minute.

As long as she stays standing there, she’s showing interest.

Otherwise she would have walked away immediately.

This one minute can make the difference, between a self-imagined rejection and a fun connection.

Tip #9: Why you don’t want to ask for her number

What?!

”Don’t ask for her number?”

“I didn’t build a connection with her to just let her walk straight back out of my life, right?”

Do not fret, my dearest reader

I’m going to explain exactly what I mean by this.

But before I do, it’s important to get to know her relationship status.

Is she single, in an open relationship, married?

Ask it in a casual way:

“By the way, are you single?”

> No

Don’t panic

Wish her a good day and say you thought it was nice to meet her.

> Yes

Total panic

Because what’s the right way to ask to extend your contact?

It’s not asking for her number.

Asking is for beggars and peasants.

So then how do we do it?

Bring it up as a suggestion.

“Let’s grab a coffee/drink.”

Let it sound very nonchalant.

By keeping it casual and nonchalant, you give her the feeling that it’s totally not a big deal.

This will make the barrier to saying yes, and giving you her number a lot lower.

If you combine this with the above tips, she’ll soon be grasping for her phone without needing to be asked.

In this way your conversation over the phone will be just as smooth as in real life

So that was it.

The 9 tips with which you can successfully connect with girls.

You might be raring to go now.

But wait…

“Yo Dan, how do I connect with girls in the right way online?”

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So you can be a total boss online and connect with amazing women.

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Your bro,
Dan de Ram

 

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