Conversation With a Girl: 5 Tips for Smooth Flirts (+Examples)

Conversation with a girl


Seducing them is like surfing.

It’s a piece of cake.

Provided you’re on the right beach, catch the perfect wave, the wind direction is right and you’re doing it on the proper moon phase.

Alright. There may be some hurdles you have to overcome in the process.

But don’t worry. Today I’m going to teach you how to surf through your conversations like a true legend.

I show you:

  • The most fatal mistake men make when they’re in a date conversation and how you avoid it
  • How to activate your Morgan Freeman voice so that she hangs on every word you say
  • How you never run out of things to say (and don’t stand in front of her paralyzed)
  • The Bonnie & Clyde Method: How to build a deep connection with her in simple steps (good conversations guaranteed)
  • And much more powerful conversation tips

By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?

You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.

Tip #1: Don’t act like a math teacher…


If you clicked on this article, chances are that your last interaction with a hot señorita went something like this:

You faced her while she looked at you expectantly with big Bambi eyes.

She had this cute blouse dress on, which accentuated her athletic body.

Shit, her sexiness only made you more intimidated.

That’s why it was hard for you to focus to 100% on your conversation.

Maybe you even put her on a pedestal for her beauty.

And any conversation topic you had going on in your head didn’t seem good enough to share with her…

The result?

Your brain was frozen and you just couldn’t get any sound out of you.

Or else: You didn’t want to take any risks to ‘mess up’ your conversation and stuttered boring standard questions.

However, ironically your ‘don’t-mess-anything-up’ strategy led to this…

Her expectant eyes became smaller and smaller – and the more you noticed it, the more you wanted to give up.

You may have doubted:

“There’s no way I can save this conversation now.”

Or you had no idea how to smooth out the conversation so that her eyes were glued to your lips again.

But what is it exactly that makes some conversations end like this…

…while others end this way…

Error 404 – No Woman Found’

The answer is simpler than you might think.

The key to phenomenal conversation are…

emotional spikes.

Here you go. The solution to all your problems in two short words.

“Whoa, that sounds pretty abstract, Dan! How do I put this in practice?”

Don’t worry, bro. I’ll explain it to you with the precision of a sniper.

In all objectivity, most conversations of the average dude looks something like this:

He is as rational as a math teacher’s blackboard notes and uses almost exclusively questions like these:

  • What do you do for a living?
  • Where are you from? Where were you born?
  • What did you do last weekend?
  • What are your hobbies?
  • Do you play the piano? Do you have a piano? What year was it built?

Why you should avoid this?

Because not a single question triggers even the hint of emotion in a woman.

Don’t get me wrong. Being logical and rational is a damn important skill.

>> 47 Icebreakers To Smoothly Start Conversations with Any Girl.

Especially in the professional world.

For example, if you have administrative tasks to perform and you need to draw up a plan for your team’s goal achievements.

When seducing women, however, you want to reduce mere logical factual exchanges to a MINIMUM.

“I understand, Dan. But how can I get to know her better and not be too logical at the same time?”

Excellent question, amigo.

Imagine a girl asking you what you do for a living.

How do you answer that?

Just a minute. Let me unpack my crystal ball and tell your fortune.

There’s a good chance you’re going to say something like…

*fondles my imaginary crystal ball*

“I’m a carpenter.”

Read that sentence out loud again. Do you think it sounds exciting? Would hearing this phrase feel like a roller coaster of emotions?

In 99% of the cases she will feel nothing hearing sentences like that.

If you were paying attention before, you know why.

It is simply too rational.

Bland, dispassionate answers like these, dry out her pu$$y.

So, what do we do to spare her genital?

We take the same answer and mix it with about 4.5 liters of concentrated emotions.

So, instead of just telling what you’re doing, you can better answer…

… WHY you pursue your job.

>> 11 Subtle Ways to Seduce a Woman Without Being Creepy.

Ask yourself what motivates you to work every day…

What would be the dilemma for your environment or even all humanity if you wouldn’t fulfill your mission?

*Mixes up that lame answer I used as an example earlier with tons of emotion*

“I help people feel more comfortable, secure and regal at home by manifesting their vague ideas into reality. All I need is a shapeless pile of wood and my raw hands. What I particularly like about my profession is that there are no limits to my creativity. I can give all creations my personal touch. That’s why I love being a carpenter.”

Voilà, so all you must do is be honest to yourself and ask yourself what really motivates you.

This way, your señorita not only experiences WHAT you are doing, but also a good dose of passion, which in turn triggers emotions in her.

And that is exactly what makes you massively attractive in her eyes.

“Alright, Dan. But what if I’m not as passionate about my job as you are and I might want to change it?”

It’s very simple. In this case you just talk about the fact that you don’t want to keep pursuing your job and tell, what motivates you to do something else.

You don’t want to lie here at any price. Lying is pathetic.

(By the way, women have a sixth sense when it comes to lying. They often notice immediately if you aren’t completely authentic/ or hiding something.

So, don’t even dare to do it and be a responsible man from the start.)

You can use this same ‘method’ for your hobbies, by the way:

“When I play guitar, I forget everything around me. There’s just the music and me.”

“In my work, I meet complete strangers every day. Every new client is like a surprise egg. At night, I never know what’s awaiting me the next day and this makes me feel alive.”

“I love to travel. Each time it gives me an incredible feeling of freedom, like I can explore every corner of the planet and do whatever I feel like.”

Pro tip:

If you want to share stories about yourself, I strongly advise you to go into detail about what you have seen, heard and felt. This way, your listener can imagine your experience at least 169 times better.



>> 9 Dating Tips for Men That will Revuolutaionize your Love life.

Tip #2: How to make her melt with your voice in 3… 2… 1…

Many men believe that the memorability of their conversations depends entirely on how interesting the topics they talked about were.

But nothing is further from reality.

In addition to the content you are talking about, you can add tremendous flavor to your conversations by changing the way HOW you tell something.

A lot of men are aware of that fact by now…

But the trap into which they then fall is the following:

They manipulate their voice strangely, for example to appear extraordinary masculine. What they don’t realize though, is that they sound more like a Batman or Darth Vader rip-off.

And that this is unauthentic as f*ck, women realize as well.

What you should rather do is to trigger her emotions by bringing variance into your tonality AND your expressions.

If you are very passionate about something, allow yourself to be enthusiastic about it:

  • Put on a big smile
  • Increase the volume of your sound
  • Make your eyes bigger
  • Stand shoulder width apart
  • Use your arms to gesture and underline your story

If you are a little skeptical about her or if you are not quite sure about what she’s telling you, allow yourself to BE skeptical:

  • For example, fold your arms
  • Put on a frown
  • Tilt your head back
  • Speak in a challenging tone – as if you were a CEO who isn’t sure yet whether an applicant is competent enough for his company

(Do you want to know with which look you make her feel like she’s being teased, or do you want to know how you can show more dominance via your facial expressions? Then check out this article I wrote for you.) < micro expressions online soon

This way, even what you talk about will be forgotten.

She senses your skepticism/ enthusiasm/ ‘teasing’/ your dominance in your gaze, your posture and in your tonality.

So, you can take her on a rollercoaster ride full of emotions with even the most boring themes… which might even end in her water park.

>> List of Facial Expression (With Examples) + The 5 Looks Women Find Most Attractive.

Let us move to a much more underestimated point…

Your speaking rate.

The average dude, who has little success in seducing women, often speaks as fast as a double-time rapper on cocaine.


Partly because he is super nervous as soon as he encounters a woman, or because he’s afraid of losing interest as soon as he stops bombarding her verbally.

However, all you achieve with babbling at the speed of light is this:

You seem socially uncalibrated and therefore unattractive.

You may be nervous, but don’t let your fears take control of your body.

Funnily enough, you only get more nervous if you allow your fears to make you talk faster.

You change from a grounded James Bond to a shy fifth grader who must give a presentation to his entire school.

So relax, bro.

Breathe in and out deeply and allow yourself to speak in a calm and controlled manner.

If you flirt with a woman, you should talk to ⅔ to ½ at your usual speed.

Doing this you not only exude relaxation, but at the same time create space needed to build up sexual tension.

Tip #3: Use this simple exercise to inject more fun into your conversation

If you have ever had problems with running out of conversation, this exercise will help you enormously.

I sometimes use it as an exercise at our bootcamps, when a student keeps getting stuck in his conversations.

Once you have mastered this exercise, it’ll be almost impossible for you to run out of things to say.

That’s also why I call it:

The infinite chain of associations.

This exercise won’t only teach you how to keep conversations going for hours…

But at the same time train you in, how to have conversations without having to chew through a topic forever.

First, I’ll show you how it can look like in practice and then I’ll give you a crystal clear step-by-step guide so that you can try the exercise today and benefit from it.

Sound good?

I thought so.

Suppose you are in a conversation with a lady and she answers one of your open questions.

(In contrast to closed questions such as ‘What do you do for a living?’, open questions are excellent for triggering strong emotions in women

>> 47 Powerful Open-Ended Questions to Ask a Girl on a First Date

She tells you:

“I think Los Angeles is a beautiful city.”

What you do now is to mentally hack the set into its pieces with an axe as if you were a level 120 orc warrior.

I think | Los Angeles | is a beautiful city.”

You can now look at each piece of text in the sentence as a kind of chain that leads to a new topic.

Let’s start with the first part, ‘I think,’

What derivation can you think of for this?

Not… bad.

To give you some inspiration; here is an example:

“You know what else I think?”

Wait a bit, to add suspense

“That the way you style your hair has something very elegant, which is quite sexy.”

You could also use the second part of the movement as a springboard to change the subject, ‘Los Angeles’:

“Los Angeles… I love this crazy city. Last time I was there, I saw a granny strolling around with her pet pig. Care to adopt one with me?”

Or the last part ‘is a beautiful city’:

“So you like Los Angeles, huh? I must admit that I’ve a crush on New York with its amazing Time Square. Have you ever been there?”

Depending on how your lady reacts to your statement, you can either continue with the topic (if you like it ) or jump to the next one following the same principle.



Let’s get down to business.

It works as follows:

  1. Set a timer to 3 minutes (the easier the exercise gets for you, the more minutes you can add)
  2. Formulate a simple sentence
  3. Select a part of the sentence and associate a new sentence out of it
  4. Divide your new sentence mentally again and form from a part of the sentence again the next
  5. Repeat the process as quickly as possible within the runtime of your timer
  6. Notice and marvel how you are getting better at making associations and are less and less likely to have a blackout during conversations

Tip #4: Use the power of exaggeration (also great for conversations with your girlfriend)

Maybe this is familiar to you…

That awkward moment when you make a joke or tell a story, but the punch line doesn’t quite sink in…

You look expectantly at bored, confused or even disgusted faces.

Your audience may even react with a polite nod to your story, but they don’t really want to hear it.

Or… they understand that you’re making a joke, but they find it totally unfunny.

A true ‘ba-dum-tsss’ moment.

In many cases, however, the reason for these reactions is often not the joke itself, but rather the fact that you haven’t told it expressively.

>> How to Hookup with a Girl – from ‘Hi’ to Hookup in 9 Steps.

At our bootcamps I often notice that most men could be 3 to 4 times more expressive than they think.

No matter how cool they may be, they fail to show women their cool character.

Because what ladies first notice is their monotonous tonality, stiff posture and expressionless faces.

They see spineless zombies in them instead of confident men.

Therefore, don’t you forget the following!

Dare to show more of your personality. Be EXPRESSIVE and allow yourself to be more polarizing in your answers.

If she tells you, for example, that she comes from Texas, then give her some counter gas if you had hoped for a different answer and say instead of…

“Ah, Texas. Cool.”

…something like…

“You are just joking, aren’t you?… Texas?!… I was just starting to like you… You’ve got to be kidding me!”

Make sure that your intonation is obviously exaggerated and that it’s clear that you’re joking and don’t really hate her for that.

So, put a smile on your face, when you say something like this.

At the same time, you want to share – even if you do it lightheartedly – your honest opinion (that Texas isn’t exactly your favorite city).

Her reaction will also help you find out more quickly whether your personalities are a match.


Tip #5: How to create a connection to her that is stronger than superglue

Open your eyes wide now, bro.

Because now I’ll give you an effective conversation tip with which you can create a deep connection to women.

A bond that makes you feel like you’re Bonnie and Clyde.

Like you’ve known each other for years.

Even if your current interaction extends to a lousy 15 minutes…

Listen carefully.

Many men live in their own world, they share their stories, tell what they like and sometimes even answer their own questions.

The advantage of this is that women learn a lot about them during these type of interactions.

However, with their permanent self-focus, they quickly seem like narcissistic egoists.

At the other end of the spectrum there are men who focus exclusively on women.

They only talk about HER experiences, HER preferences and passions and about things that SHE find interesting.

Yes, through this they learn more about their chosen one, but at the same time they seem to degrade themselves as uninteresting. After all, they only talk about her.

At the same time, they don’t give the woman any space to learn anything about them.

In both ways there is more of an ‘interview’ mood going on – sometimes she’s the interviewer and sometimes you.

With both attitudes, it’s impossible to build a deep connection with women

So, what should you do instead?

Include both of you equally.

For example, if she tells you how she loves riding horses, create a crazy future projection about it in which you involve BOTH of you.

Tell her how you should rob a bank together, fly on horses with all the money you got and ride to Las Vegas to get married by a fake Elvis.

However, make sure that you always give her space to react to your story while you tell it.

“You know what we should do together?”

Uh, what?”

We should rob a bank together. And fly on horses afterwards. I mean, you know how to ride, right… And you know what we’re going to do with the money?”

Hahaha… tell me!!”

On the other hand, if she reacts rather soberly to your fiction, you can simply change the subject as if nothing had ever happened.

And if your bond is strong enough…

…you might even put the plans you’ve made together into action…

The final conversationalist puzzle piece

Boom, bro.

Now you have 5 golden tips on how to have a conversation with a girl.

If you want to have more effective sentences that you can shamelessly copy from me, check out this free Kit that I created for you:

My Transformation Kit.

Have fun with it!

Your bro,
Dan de Ram

Stop awkward conversations
and painful rejections

My free Transformation Kit will make you irresistible to women.

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  • 5 Date Generating Texting Tips (Plus Copy-Paste Lines for Tinder)
  • The Friendzone Escape-Room Trick
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