It is known that many people fear public speaking more than death.
When they are about to stand on a stage, they panic. They sweat, stutter, and their head turns bright red.
Not a pleasant feeling.
Why am I telling you this? Well, for many men, an upcoming date has a similar effect.
This is because they see a date as a formal event where they must behave in a certain way and achieve a desired result. Thus, the date consists of boring conversations and an unpleasantly tense atmosphere.
It doesn’t have to be that way.
It’s the 21st century, damn it! The days of taking women out to fancy restaurants are over. Thank God.
Today it is socially acceptable to end the day on your couch with female company. And you don’t even have to leave your beloved apartment.
With the right tips, you can even turn your humble home into the perfect date location.
No matter if you plan a date night at home, are looking for dinner date at home ideas or romantic date at home ideas.
After reading this blog post, you don’t have to panic anymore. You know exactly what to do to charm your rendezvous.
Because today you will get:
- The pros and cons of dating at home
- How to prepare and plan a date night at home
- 7 tips to make the home-date a guaranteed success
- 6 indoor activities that make the date a memorable experience (including first date at home ideas + inspirations for your second date at home)
- How you steer the date towards sex smartly
- And much more…
By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
Tip #1: The Date at Home Pros and Cons
Before we get started, I should warn you:
A date at home is not for everyone.
Yeah, it’s super comfortable. You don’t have to leave your apartment, you don’t have to tie your shoes, you don’t have to go out in the cold, you don’t have to commute to the date-location and and and.
… meeting your date in public has a lot of advantages.
So consider carefully whether you want to do without them.
I will explain to you what the pros and cons are by looking at it from two different perspectives:
From a man’s point of view
- Sex is more likely because sex is not yet mainstream in public
- You will not be watched, distracted, or “cockblocked” by others
- This makes it easier to build a high level of intimacy
- You are not seen in public with her (which can be useful in certain cases, for example when she is overweight…)
- Every touch and every flirt attempt is perceived very strongly by her, which is why it is not easy to create a carefree atmosphere
- There is not much happening, which is why it is not easy to make a date at home a memorable experience (you will find out later)
- You can’t “slide” into the date easily and smoothly – as soon as you open the door for her, it starts 100%
From a woman’s point of view
- If it is her intention to have sex, then it is easy to realize this at home
- It’s the most efficient way to show you how much she already trusts you
- She won’t be seen in public with you
Now, if you’re thinking, “Huh, why is that last point an advantage?” let me give you two examples.
Example 1: You have a date with an A, B or C celebrity. If she is seen with you, journalists will make Swiss cheese out of her by asking piercing questions.
Example 2: In Malaysia I had arranged a meeting through Tinder and the lady insisted that I have to come to her place. When I knocked on her door, it was opened only slightly, one arm reached through, grabbed my shirt and pulled me into the apartment. She apologized for this indeed strange first impression. She explained that her whole neighborhood would shame her if they would see her meeting up with a non-Muslim white man. I see!
- She may be sending the wrong signals through this date if she is looking for something serious or friendship
- It requires a high degree of trust, which she may not yet be able/willing to give
So, these are the pros and cons. It is your task to assess whether you can accept the disadvantages.
If not, you might as well start the date somewhere else and then finish it at your place.
This article will show you will have successful first dates:
Tip #2: How to invite her to your home
Fortunately for you, this step is half as hard as you might think.
Yet, the vast majority of men screw up here. So it can’t hurt to take notes now.
Most people try to invite a woman to their home with sentences like:
But unfortunately too unoriginal and predictable.
Women are not stupid. They can clearly see what you’re up to.
Women love sex, but they don’t like it when sex is in the foreground.
This is because it is in their best interest to keep the apparent price of sex as high as possible. No woman wants to be seen as “easy.”
So don’t focus on sex, focus on your home date activity.
You can do this, for example, by sending her a picture of what you have in mind for her – no, I don’t mean a dick pic.
Send her a picture of the ingredients for the cocktails that you will prepare together, or of your juicer that will make your smoothies.
Write very enthusiastically about the wine or the Disney movie you have at home (more about this later).
But before I provide you with 5 outstanding date ideas for your home, we should talk about a badass preparation, because as good old Benjamin Franklin once said:
Tip #3: The perfect preparation for a date at home
“Do you want to shoot a porn!?”, my Latvian date asked in a shocked tone of voice when I entered my hotel room with her.
I was so busy shooting videos that I still had all my camera equipment on the bed. I didn’t intend to shoot a porno with her, but I can understand how she came to this conclusion.
I was able to calm her down with humor and plausible explanations, but let’s just say it wasn’t the most solid start of the date.
What you can learn from this is:
Clean up your fucking apartment!
Women pay attention to these things. I have received countless compliments for keeping my apartment clean and tidy.
It’s a sign that you’re in control of your life too. If you can’t even take care of your room, she can see that as a red flag.
But there are other things that will make her feel as comfortable in your realm as if she was at home – and that is exactly what you want.
Here is the ultimate checklist:
- Make sure your room is clean and tidy:
Lift all clothes off the floor/sofa, wash dirty dishes and put everything in perfect order.
- Remove all bad smells from your apartment:
I like using incense, but you don’t have to go that far. As a rule of thumb, it is sufficient to air out your entire apartment. Also, make sure there is nothing in your fridge or pantry that is rotting away, and take the garbage outside.
- Indirect lighting:
This is the easiest hack to create a feel-good atmosphere. Never underestimate this effect. Every spa makes use of it. Candles and/or dimmed lights are recommended. Bright light is associated with hospitals and dental surgeries.
An absolute must! Prepare a playlist that can run in the background and create a sexy feel-good atmosphere. You are welcome to follow my buddy’s Spotify playlist, which I love to use for my home dates.
- No distractions:
This tip is important for everyone living in a shared flat. Make sure that others can’t just walk in while you’re creating enormous sexual tension with your date – it can mess everything up. CAUTION: Locking the door behind you is not a good plan. Just let your roommates know in advance that you expect female company.
Of course, you have to fill her up with absinthe to make sure she makes bad decisions… Okay, kidding. But a glass of red wine certainly won’t hurt. I always have a bottle of red wine at home. If you don’t drink alcohol, have some interesting drinks or tea in store, for example mate tea.
Tip #4: A date at home is still a date
Yeah, you read that right. A date at home is a date.
It’s probably not a realization that’ll blow your socks off. Yet, I have to mention it because there will always be men who forget this fact.
Just because she comes home to you, it doesn’t mean she’s ready for your “Naked Man Move”…
The same rules apply as for conventional dates.
Give her a warm hug or a kiss on the cheek. Build trust. Make sure she gets a feel for your personality.
A survey on online dating has shown that a man’s #1 concern is that the woman is fat. The #1 concern of a woman, however, is that the man is a psychopath.
Even though it may not be a Tinder date, you have to take away that fear.
Since there are enough crazy people out there, the media only reports about horror dates, and women are physically weaker, she will be a bit tense at first, even if she already likes you.
So make it as easy for her as you can and TAKE YOUR TIME.
Because while a man on a home date can see almost anything in a positive light…
… women, on the other hand, have reasons to be less naïve.
Plan enough time to show her you’re not some freak from the 8:00 pm news.
Tip #5: The 6 best indoor date ideas
Put a napkin in the neckline of your T-shirt, take a knife and fork in your hand and look forward to the outstanding date ideas I am about to serve you.
Home Date Idea #1: Mixing Cocktails
This may not be my go-to date, because I am not a cocktail drinker, but a friend of mine is an expert in this field and let me assure you:
Damn, does he take a lot of women home that way…
Pick any recipe on the Internet, buy all the necessary ingredients and mix each other a cocktail. To add a surprise effect, don’t tell her what cocktail it is.
You may not be able to make a good cocktail, but it doesn’t matter. It is all about having fun together during the preparation.
Home Date Idea #2: Cooking 2.0
The same applies when cooking: the way is the goal.
And the way should be as fun as possible.
In any case, give her an important task. It does not matter whether you want her to cut the vegetables, bring an ingredient or prepare the dessert.
The important thing is that she sees herself as an essential part of the date, which makes it much more harmonious.
But I’d be an idiot to go into this date idea in more detail, since I have already written probably the most extensive article on the whole internet about it.
Home Date Idea #3: The Sex Guarantor
Do you want a date idea that guarantees sex?
Sorry, but there’s no such thing. Not even in fairy tales.
But what comes amazingly close to that is…
A massage is a delightful way to get closer to a woman.
She can slowly get used to being touched by you, can relax, trigger points in her fascial tissue are released and it is the perfect foreplay for sex…
I see nothing but advantages.
Make sure you always have massage or coconut oil (also great for cooking or anal sex <3) at home, and create a relaxed atmosphere with appropriate music and candlelight.
Home Date Idea #4: Under the Blanket
I know what you’re thinking, piglet.
But we’re not there – yet!
Before you jump each other, you can turn your ordinary home date into an extraordinary one through a creative twist:
Build a cave out of blankets and pillows.
We used to love that when we were kids. I can’t figure out why we stopped…
Anyway, one of our coaches tried this on a home date.
He sent me this picture:
A very original date idea for home, if you ask me.
When it comes to creativity and eccentricity, you don’t need to set limits to yourself.
Home Date Idea #5: Story Time!
I got this date idea when I was at a birthday party.
One of the guests – a shy looking nerd – surprised everyone else; even me.
He gathered everyone together in the living room, and announced that his gift to the birthday child was a story.
At first, I thought he’d embarrass himself. How wrong I was!
He told a 40-minute story that captivated everyone; even me. It was about a brave hero, his faithful horse, King Whatever and Princess Whogivesafuck.
He received raving applause and that’s when I acknowledged the power of stories. There are stories – whether from Egyptian, Greek, Roman or Nordic legends – that have been told over centuries or even millennia.
That’s no small matter. And, certainly, no coincidence.
In a world like ours, nothing that is not extraordinarily inspiring or entertaining will last more than a few weeks.
Use the power of stories to your advantage and enchant your date by telling or reading one to her. The probability is extremely high that she has never experienced this before.
Of course, you can also tell horror stories. B*tches love that shit. 😉
Home Date Idea #6: Disney Night
I mentioned earlier that a movie night is unoriginal and predictable.
… you watch Disney movies.
Disney provides the necessary innocence. Think about what sounds more appealing in her head:
I owe so many one-night-stands to good old Walt…
Here is a list of Disney movies I can recommend:
- The Lion King
- Beauty and the Beast
- Lady and the Tramp (plus points, if you serve spaghetti with it)
Meanwhile, touch her more and more intimately, and slow down from time to time so that you are not too fast for her.
Before you know it, she’s so aroused that she wants you to carry her to your bed.
Now I’ll share a tip that will increase your chances of getting laid tenfold…
Tip #6: Let’s talk about sex
How the naive man imagines an ideal date at home:
The naive woman usually thinks quite differently:
Just because a woman goes on a date with you, it doesn’t mean that sex is her priority.
It may even be that she doesn’t even think about having sex, and therefore gets scared when you suddenly start kissing her.
Do you want to know how you can increase your chances of having sex tenfold?
You can do this by talking about sex.
For example, talk about…
- Your best/worst date
- Her first/last kiss
- Her craziest sex locations ever
So it slowly begins to dawn on her that you are a man for whom sex is no big deal.
Tip #7: Start the date somewhere else
Who says you have to start a home date… at home?
If you want to destroy most of the disadvantages I mentioned in the beginning, you can meet her outside your four walls.
For example in the supermarket, where you buy the ingredients for the cocktails, or the dishes you want to prepare together.
That way you build up the date slowly, which makes sure that you avoid unpleasant pressure for both of you.
So, my friend. Now you should be perfectly equipped for a date at home.
If you stick to this system, a happy ending is the only logical consequence.
And to make sure you have a great date at home AND compelling and flirty conversations during the date, check out my free Transformation Kit.
Filled with my best advice for you and just one click away.
May you do well!
Dan de Ram