Lots of men simply lose it when it comes to a date.
How do I act? Where do we meet each other? What the hell should I do with the check?
Keep reading, cause you’ll get:
- What is dating etiquette?
- #1: How do I ask someone on a date?
- #2: Etiquette for a first date
- #3: The best locations for a first date
- Tip #4: Touching on a date
- Tip #5: Who pays the check?
- Tip #6: Making out on a date
- Tip #7: Dating rules for a second date
- Tip #8: After how many dates sex?
- Tip #9: Etiquette for Tinder dating
By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
Don’t worry, the 9 simple tips in this article will help you to keep your act together and level up your dating game.
What is dating etiquette?
You probably didn’t expect the word ‘etiquette’ at AttractionGym.
Well today, I won’t be learning you to hold open doors for her or to bring her a bouquet of roses…
Unfortunately (or fortunately) I can tell you that that is NOT the way to someone’s heart.
Yep, all those romantic movies have been fooling you for years.
But that doesn’t mean there’s nothing you can do to have a successful date.
With these tips, you’ll step into your next date with your head in the sky. Ignore those doubts about what to do – and listen carefully to the advice of AttractionGym’s finest…
#1: How do I ask someone on a date?
Ok, let’s start at the beginning: you need to ask her on a date.
Shit, that sounds tough… Forget about it, you may think.
I understand that thought completely. For most inexperienced men this can be a horrible moment. But unfortunately, you can’t get out of it.
That’s why most guys don’t even try. They are our fallen comrades, who now roam around in a nightmare called the friendzone.
You don’t want to end up there.
But then how do you ask her on a date?
It’s very simple: you just ask her.
Realize it is the most normal thing in the world to ask someone on a date. You like her, you want to get to know her. What else could you do?
Don’t make it bigger than it is.
Do it calmly and naturally, as if you are commenting on the weather.
It doesn’t have to be a sugary proposal to marry her; big chance she’ll be gone immediately if you try that.
“Hey let’s have a drink on Saturday night!” is usually does it.
What’s more important, is the moment that you ask it.
People usually ask it when their conversation kind of dies out. Or when there is a lull in the conversation. As if they try to save it.
Whereas you actually want to ask her when your conversation is on a high. When there are plenty of laughs and she is engaged with you.
#2: Etiquette for a first date
Right, you’ve got the date set. Now the real work starts.
First of all realize this: you and your date are not members of the Research Council on Shaping Our First Date.
Take the initiative yourself and decide how the date will look like.
So don’t endlessly discuss with her what you guys are gonna do.
As a man, it is more up to you to lead. She’ll appreciate this a lot more than someone who discusses everything.
Give her a nice date idea and see how she reacts. Probably she will say yes and you’ll be good to go.
Maybe she will say no and has an idea for a date herself.
This is fine. As long as you don’t ask for approval in a submissive way, you’re golden.
For loads more tips for the first date, I’ll give a shout out to this article:
#3: The best locations for a first date
Start outside, end inside
It is always better to start your first date in an outside location.
Women usually find it more comfortable to meet a man in public for the first time. Just to check that you’re not Jack the Ripper.
So don’t suggest to hang-out at your place first, even if it is raining cats and dogs outside. (If the weather is really shite, check out my article with 11 rainy day dates ideas).
It is fine to meet somewhere outside and then walk together shortly before you end up at your indoor location (not being your house 😉). This allows you to walk away the nerves together.
It doesn’t mean the date cannot end inside, but more about that later.
What kind of date?
There are a couple of dating clichés you want to avoid at all costs.
Never go to the movies on a first date. A restaurant is usually also not your best choice.
Instead, choose something dynamic.
A date should be spontaneous and you need to have time to get to know her.
The only thing you’ll likely learn from a date at the movies is that the latest Fast and Furious isn’t worth your money.
Keep it nice and simple. Take her on a walk through the city, grab a coffee somewhere, or share a bottle of wine in a park.
Are we back in lockdown when you’re reading this? Let’s hope not, but just in case this article about date ideas in lockdown might be useful.
A date doesn’t have to be unique. Skydiving or indoor climbing is fun, but better ideas for when you know her better.
So check for a nice walk in your hood, tie your laces, and grab a good bottle Gato Negro. You can always still jump out of a plane on your second date.
Tip #4: Touching on a date
Touches are the best way to quickly get used to each other.
Besides, you’ll come across as approachable and self-confident.
Just be mindful to stay subtle.
I don’t think I have to tell you that the old hand-over-her-shoulders-while-you-yawn-trick is lame…
Rather give her a small push when she makes a joke, or place your hand on her shoulder when you head in a new direction on your walk together.
As long as the contact is spontaneous, you’re good.
Do stay aware of signals indicating she’s not comfortable with your touch.
Tip #5: Who pays the check?
This is the only Stone Age cliché that you may honor if you’d ask me.
Whereas 58% of the singles say the check should be split on the first date, I do not agree.
You can instantly ruin the mood if you are being complicated about paying the tab.
Casually swipe your credit card out of your wallet and get it to the machine quickly so it won’t even be a point of discussion.
It’s not wrong to split the bill with a lady sometime… After all, you’re not Kanye West. And if you are: better luck next time.
So keep the money matters for another time.
At the third or fourth date, it is normal to ask her if she wants to split the check with you.
And if that gesture then baffles her, you may have hooked yourself a gold digger.
Tip #6: Making out on a date
There are no set rules for kissing on the first date.
Research cited by eHarmony shows that women are more hesitant towards a kiss on a date than a man is.
This however doesn’t mean that you should hold your tongue shut in your mouth at every date.
Always read the situation well.
If she stares deep into your eyes at the goodbyes, go for a smooch.
Just don’t gnaw off her face in public, a busy square is not the best place to discover the corners of her mouth cavities.
Wanna know more about how to kiss her, then read this bad boy:
Tip #7: Dating rules for a second date
A follow-up date can be more intimate than the first one.
The second date is the moment where you show her that you like her.
You want to get to know each other even better and probably talk about stuff that’s meant only for your and her ears.
Need inspiration for your conversation? Then read this article with 131 questions that you can ask her to get to know her better.
So you could suggest doing something together at your place or hers.
Or to head to a remote place for a picnic together.
Then she’ll probably also feel more comfortable with a good make-out session.
You’d better still avoid the movies and restaurants at this stage. Unless you’re keen on having a lovey-dovey smooch session surrounded by popcorn-chewing moviegoers.
Tip #8: After how many dates sex?
Nowadays, research is done on everything. Even the question: after how many dates do people on average have sex?
The conclusion: 3.53.
That reaffirms the old sex-after-the-third-date-cliché.
However realize that this is an average, and that not every woman just wants sex after three dates. It could happen right after one date, but also after five dates.
If you handle it well, you’ll notice automatically when a woman wants something more to happen on your date.
Because kissing or sex is not something that just happens from one moment to the other. From no physical contact to a ‘horizontal workout’.
You build up your intimacy and physical contact more and more during the date. Until kissing is just simply the next (small) step you take.
In the next step, your kisses become more intense and you both get more touchy with each other.
Up to the point when you cannot ignore it anymore: you both want more.
Yet, always pay close attention.
If there’s no reason to think that she wants more, you may better wait.
Patience is a virtue. Trying to get her in bed too soon is a guaranteed turn-off.
Tip #9: Etiquette for Tinder dating
Tinder: an art in itself
Tinder, then again, is a whole other story. You haven’t met each other before and don’t know if you’ll have a connection in real life.
Trouble getting matches? Then first check out this article to get 13 Tinder Hacks for Guys: Shortcuts to More Cuties.
Asking your Tinder match for a date
Getting your Tinder match on a date is easy and difficult at the same time.
Easy because you don’t know her and are less dependent on her response.
Difficult because you don’t know her, and she doesn’t know whether you’re actually a weirdo IRL.
Let’s imagine she’s already convinced that you’re a normal person.
How and when do you ask her on a date?
First, the how: actually the same way as in tip #1. Keep it nice and short, and most of all, casual. Don’t write three-page love letter.
Then the when: don’t be too fast, but also not too slow.
When you’ve spoken for a while and you’ve got it on, you can easily ask her on a date.
Yet don’t tell her your entire life story. Big chance she’ll get bored with all the chitchat and lose interest in you.
Also, don’t ask her on a date after three messages. Probably you won’t even get an answer.
The location of a Tinder date
You’ll want a quick escape in case a Tinder date takes a turn for the worst.
That’s why we won’t recommend you to plod around the local art gallery with someone you’ve never even met before.
While you’re searching for your way out, she’s taking her sweet time to enjoy the artwork.
Choose a location where you can easily end or continue the date.
A walk through the city is always a solid plan.
Had enough after an hour? No problem, search your mind for an excuse to leave, and off you go.
Having fun on your date? Great! You can continue to walk until you reach Santiago da Compostela.
Enough theories, let’s get practical
The lecture is over and hopefully, you have planted these tips in your brain.
Yet theory is just a fraction of the real work.
There’s probably a special lady who you’ve always wanted to ask on a date.
Time to put those tips into practice.
Knock yourself out, have a hell of a date, and above all: enjoy.
Dan de Ram