Unfortunately:
No diploma is required to be a dating expert. There’s no certificate that proves you’re one.
That’s why there’re so many self-proclaimed experts nowadays. Guys who’ve slept with 30 girls and have had 2 relationships…
Cyclopes leading the blind.
My name is Dan de Ram, I’ve been giving dating advice for over 10 years. In this article you’ll receive:
- 10 tips about attracting women from the #1 dating expert of Europe
- The number 1 rule when it comes to attraction, that other dating coaches are unaware of
- Flirting lines you can use tonight
- The lifehack I use to empower my memory, and how this’ll get you more dates.
- How to approach someone in 5 simple steps
- How a true dating expert is a shortcut for your success
- And much, much more expertise revealed
By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
Tip #1: How not to fuck up your love-life
One of the most important realizations when it comes to attracting women…
Because 9 out of 10 men get stuck in the dating twilight zone with this one.
Why?
A large amount of the dating expert tips you’ll find, are about techniques and lines.
And I’ll be honest.
As an Amsterdam-based dating coach, I’m the biggest fan of techniques and lines. You’ll also receive 3 later in this article.
Techniques and lines are actually awesome, because they’ll help you to begin to grasp the underlying principle.
However.
When all you’re doing is using these lines and techniques.
It doesn’t mean anything.
Unless you have a strong WHY.
Let me explain.
A while ago, during the coaching we offer, I had a participant.
So we’re coaching him and after half-an-hour he suddenly starts sheepishly complaining.
He said:
Hey,
That’s completely fine, I said.
Every state you’re in when attracting and seducing women, is completely okay.
As long as you completely accept the state you’re in (This is interesting by the way, will touch more on this later)
Then he interrupts me with even more sheepish-ness.
So I tried to get through to him, that he’d listen, so my dating advice could actually work for him.
Because the whole attraction process is not about you and your ego, obsessing over how “good” you feel. Whether or not you’re “in the flow”. Or having ‘fun’. Or any of that pickup-lingo-crap.
No.
What this whole flirting game is about (which a lot of so-called dating experts forget):
Giving.
You’re coming to give something to the woman you’re approaching.
Not, so you can “get in the right state” by speaking to her.
You’re giving her something.
You’re not trying to get something from her to feed your ego.
So, always have the intention to brighten her day.
“You made my day”
And not worrying whether you’re getting enough in return.
‘Cause this attitude will get you stuck in your own head.
Whereas coming to give something causes your attention to be directed outwards, toward her.
Which will also immediately enhance your charisma.
You’ll know you’re doing it right, when every now and then you’ll literally hear a woman say that you made her day.
Right.
After that you can crawl back into your little ego 😉
Later in this article, you’ll receive the exact method on how to make her day.
First we’re gonna take a look at some more dating expert advice from another so-called expert.
Tip #2: The advice of another “online dating expert”
Occasionally, men will share with me dating expert advice that they’ve received from other coaches, asking me whether or not the advice is accurate.
I received this the other day:
In short:
This coach makes 2 good points:
- Attraction is a process you don’t want to experience as work, it should be fun.
- Your results will be 100 times better with lots of FUN.
Damn.
I’d almost agree.
It’s even the F from FLOW.
And yet its 100% bullshit.
‘Cause let’s say you’re not feeling so good, and so you never approach women when you’re feeling that way.
So what does that mean?
It means that day-in-day-out, you’re programming the following into your brain:
Let that sink in.
Because there’s a deep lesson to be learned here.
What you want to do, is remove the words “only/when/if” from the above sentence.
In my eyes this is the difference between what some men describe as an “alpha” or a “beta”.
Because everyone has their shitty days.
But a beta allows himself to be sabotaged by a feeling.
While an alpha makes no needless demands on his self-worth when it comes to women.
So make the choice.
Which one are you:
An unstoppable alpha?
Or an puffed-up beta?
Moving on with how you can successfully approach any woman in 5 steps.
In a moment you’ll receive, amongst other thing, the way to make any conversation fun (Tip#5). Along with a few powerful ways to conquer approach anxiety.
Plus… the cheat-code to be one step ahead with any woman from the get-go.
Tip #3: How to successfully approach any woman in 5 steps
It’s 03:00 A.M.
A Spanish beauty standing by my side as we order some Asian food.
There’s also a blonde lady in the line.
I later find out that she’s American.
A random dude decides to approach her.
In a slightly pushy way, he grabs her shoulder and asks her name.
Her name is Isis.
And now we’re one second away from witnessing her rejection of him.
For the following reason.
He’s the millionth guy to refer her name to the terrorist group.
*Sigh*
(Actual great lines to say, coming up!)
If you thought the same when you read her name, then you also fall under those million other mediocre guys.
No worries.
We’re gonna quickly turn this around.
Instead of a woman rolling her eyes like the American lady did…
…instead, with you, she’ll slightly tilt her head and her eyes will light-up like puppy eyes, clear signs that she’s into you.
Pro tip:
Here’s a bonus template to start your conversation, as well as some first lines to get the conversation rolling.
Now something about jealousy.
A powerful weapon you can utilize to get women. But also to get yourself ultra-motivated.
Tip #4: The #MeToo principle
Someone recently asked me the following question at one of our events:
Tony Robbins would say:
Even though he’s no dating expert, I’d agree. Though I do appreciate giving practical guidance.
I answered him with:
Why?
You’re probably labelling jealousy as something negative.
On the contrary, jealousy is a good thing.
(However, with a heads-ups concerning unhealthy levels of jealousy. I’ll get into that in a moment).
Jealousy can help you perform better:
If he can do it, so can I!
During our workshops, it’s all I see.
When the first participant scores a number, kisses a woman, goes on an instant date, or takes her home.
The others follow soon after.
Success leaves clues, and isn’t exclusively for one person.
Another example:
When you’re out with your friends, and you guys haven’t been able to hit it off with even one woman, then that’s a bummer.
But what if all your friends have a gorgeous babe standing around them, gazing at them with naughty puppy-eyes?
Suddenly you’ll feel a fire within you to not be left behind as the only lonely guy.
So, eliminating jealousy?
You’re crazy.
Place yourself in situations where you’re surrounded by greater levels of success than you yourself are currently at.
You’ll get it through osmosis.
Unexpected answers with a hard core of truth. That’s one way to recognize a true expert.
And to get back to that heads-up, concerning unhealthy levels of jealousy.
When you DON’T take action, jealousy will lead to frustration.
When you DO take action, jealousy can serve as a catalyst for success.
And, in case you’re wondering if there’s ever a time that it’s too late to take action; whether or not there’s an age-limit when it comes to learning to attract women…
I’ll tell you more about that in a moment.
First, we’re gonna add some fun and zest to your conversations.
Tip #5: You can already predict how fun your conversations are gonna be
90% of success comes down to a single thing.
A powerful quote makes this crystal clear:
In other words:
Preparation
Because.
You know exactly which subjects are gonna come up when you speak to someone for the first time.
- Where you live
- What you do for a living
- What your name is
- What your hobbies are
- What you’re currently up to
(Same goes for a job interview. During which you’re always required to share ‘something’ about yourself)
So.
You can think of an answer beforehand.
For example, she asks:
[QWOMAN]“What kind of work do you do?”[/QWOMAN]
Begin abundantly detailing how you travel to Asia every year, during which you film Panda’s having sex, in order to sell it as porn online.
Then ask her if she’d like to join you on your next trip to Asia.
And BOOM.
You instantly have something to talk about.
Look.
At most, you should have 2 funny lines in response to all those boring questions, and you’ll make every conversation stand out and be fun.
Now, let’s go into something painful: When are you too old to date women?
Tip #6: When it’s all too late for you
For the people wondering what I do aside from attracting women.
Nothing.
Not that much in any case.
Because it’s not like I only go out 2 times per week, and leave it at that.
No.
As a European dating expert, I test every line, every technique, every variable hundreds of times. Until I’m certain whether or not something works, and I can share it and pass it on.
In addition to that I provide content on YouTube, the website, and I create complete courses on the subject of attraction.
Oh, and I also answer emails…lots of emails.
Here’s one from the other day:
So, let’s cut to the chase.
Are you too old?
No.
Different studies have actually shown that men only begin to PEAK at 50+
So if you’re not too old, then what are you?
An incredible numb-nut.
Although I don’t know when your relationship ended, it’s not a bad thing for you to take a moment to process your heart-ache.
On the other hand…
You’ve sent me an email, so I can feel your motivation to take action.
And yeah.
Somewhere I can recognize the fear of feeling “too old”. I’m getting older too, dating expert or not.
Even recently I’ve seriously been doubting whether or not I could continue dating younger women.
The reality is:
Absolutely, and it just keeps getting easier.
My flings and girlfriends seem to be getting younger, rather than older. The youngest one is now 21.
Why?
A lot of men think, that women would prefer a young man, because we ourselves are attracted to young women.
(Sure, appearance has its place. I’ll get more into this later. And how you can use this, like a cheat-code, to your advantage. Even if you’re an older guy)
Please, extend your empathy beyond your own dick.
Because the truth is that, as a young man, you have VIRTUALLY NOTHING TO OFFER.
But as always…
…there’s two sides to every coin.
See it like this:
At a young age you have potential.
Your worth is in your energy, your time, and your malleability.
You don’t have much else to offer as a young man.
Convinced you already know everything when you’re 19? This only emphasizes your high numb-nut score.
When you’re older, your potential declines.
What do you have instead?
At an older age you have experience.
Your worth is found in your calm, your wisdom, your masculinity, and your influence.
What does this mean for you?
Got no experience? And not gaining any new experience?
In that case, the hard truth is you’re failing.
At age 37 you’re in between young and adult. There’s definitely still potential, and I hope you already have some experience.
Maybe not when it comes to attracting women…so start with that NOW, while you still have the energy and potential. What are you waiting for?
Maybe not when it comes to attracting women…so start with that NOW, because your energy and potential are inexorably decreasing with every second that passes on the clock.
That way you can invest in a life that’ll still be amazing in 5-10-20 years from now.
‘Cause otherwise you’ll end up as a lonely man, with no experience, and with no potential.
And that’s more painful than words can describe.
To get you to take action now, and to maximize your potential, here’s a powerful tip for you.
Tip #7: To-do list 2.0
I’m gonna share a simple life-hack with you:
I’m constantly forgetting things.
So often in fact, that I often have to doubletrack back to my house.
Annoying.
Especially when you usually work 60 hours per week, and don’t want to waste a minute.
After forgetting something yet again, I wrote down the following in CAPS on a post-it on the inside of my door.
Which makes me think:
“Oh yeah, I’m probably forgetting something.”
Thanks to this I double-check everything before heading out, and I virtually never forget anything at home anymore.
Yep, I’m human too.
And in the context of writing stuff down, I’d like to share some more tips with you.
Let’s say you have lots of dreams, but not enough action yet…
Solution.
Make a to-do list 2.0 with all these tasks.
For example:
- Approaching a woman during the last 15 minutes of your lunch break
- Watching a YouTube video every night to learn a new skill or improve an existing skill
- Going out every Saturday
You’ve probably made a similar to-do list at one point.
Because a to-do list isn’t exactly the most revolutionary idea ever.
In that case you’ve probably also experienced that simply making a to-do list doesn’t necessarily motivate you to accomplish these goals any more than simply having the ideas floating in your head.
All your ideas and tasks simply continue to stack.
Watching TV and Netflixing, drinking beer, watching cat videos on YouTube and getting through your Facebook-feed are often considered more ‘important’…
Which is a shame.
Therefore:
Flip the ‘to-do’-list on its head.
And Alt-F4 all activities or unhealthy habits that are getting in the way of unleashing your full potential.
Make a ‘to-not-do’ list.
Example:
- Stop watching 4 hours of TV per day
- No phone usage after 20:00
- Or (which happens to be a big pit-fall in the ‘pickup-community’): Stop learning all the theory first, before ever actually taking action.
The reason you’re not happy with your current level of success with women…
…might have something to do with the fact that you’re wasting your time on things that are, ultimately, pretty meaningless.
Protip:
Do you want to break an unhealthy habit? Make sure you remove the triggers for that behavior. Turn off your phone if you want to do less zombie-facebook-scrolling, or put your TV in the attic for a month.
Spend time on things that truly matter to you.
And that help you move forward in life.
Because success with women is all about stepping out of limiting behaviors and comfort zones, and taking action.
First using some lines and techniques that you’ve learned.
Which will help you to grasp the underlying principle and make the change from within.
We, as dating experts for men, consider the art of attracting women to be a form of self-development.
A form of self-development that offers very direct feedback.
And very direct rewards and results.
Tip #8: Attraction steroids for an unfair advantage.
Here’s a secret… there’s something known as Attraction-steroids.
Attraction-Steroids that gives you an unfair advantage over the other men.
Because let’s be honest:
Which pro-sport hasn’t been affected by steroids in the last couple of years?
Even the Olympic Games hasn’t been safe from it.
So why not when it comes to attracting women?
Listen.
Steroids gives you an advantage, but only once you’ve mastered the skill.
So, if both you and I were to join the 100m sprint.
And we’re standing there, at the starting line, for the first time, pumped up with steroids, like Arnold Schwarzenegger in the 70s.
And then a middle-schooler, who’s been running the 100m sprint since he was 5, completely outclasses us and leaves us to bite the dust.
Now, we’re not gonna talk about the morality of doping.
But the point is that doping gives you an advantage.
However, doping can also cause you to be mercilessly disqualified.
So.
What the hell do I mean when I say Attraction-steroids
Your looks/appearance.
When your appearance is in order, you’ll have that unfair advantage from the very first moment… even before the race has started.
Whereas, when your appearance isn’t taken care of.
- You look grungy and messy
- You’re wearing clothing that’s 3 sizes too large
- Or you’re still walking around like you’ve been styled by your mom
Yeah.
In that case you’ve been disqualified before the starting-shot’s even been fired.
Because I see men, especially those in the dating/pick-up community, walking around like they’ve been dressed by their mom (which is fine…other than the fact that we’re not living in the 80s anymore). And the rest of their clothing they got at the pawn shop or bought off of some passing hobo.
And then these men endlessly complain on forums that they can’t get any women, and endlessly discuss whether it has something to do with their “techniques”.
Look…
All these little things concerning your appearance aren’t that important in and of themselves. But when they pile up…
Think about clothing, skin-care, scent and all other matters:
All these things combined (when missing) are causing you to disqualify yourself.
However, when you do fix and take care of your appearance and then approach her.
You’ve already placed yourself at an advantage.
However.
Don’t cry yourself to sleep tonight, believing that your looks are the Alpha and Omega of attraction. And then giving up. Because you’re not sure how to take care of it straight away.
No!
Appearance matters.
But of greater importance is:
Skill.
The following tips will add to your skill.
Tip #9: How to attract women like an expert
Lauren Verster, a well-known Dutch tv-presenter, is sitting across from me.
We’re discussing the upcoming taping.
And then one of the producers asked me the following:
So I gave him the tip and immediately saw the twinkle in his eyes as he began sharing.
(You’ll get the tip in just a moment, by the way)
He said:
He spoke to her:
But ya know.
I still wouldn’t do you.”
Understandably surprised the woman responds:
And he moved on.
Of course, later that night, the woman came back to ask him, out of curiosity, how he truly felt about her shoes.
And from that moment it was ON!
This situation is one of the AttractionGym principles:
So not only do you now have a powerful piece of wisdom.
You also have a great line to try out.
Onto the last tip, the shortcut.
Tip #10: The shortcut of life
Though not for dating, when it comes to accomplishing other rather big goals, I don’t second-guess getting coached..
And to hire an expert.
Why…I’ll tell you in a moment.
However the moment I happen to be in America for that coaching, the weekend attraction bootcamps in The Netherlands go full steam ahead.
During a boot-camp there was one participant, who couldn’t believe that I still need coaching.
He kept asking the same question:
Yes.
Now to answer the question: ‘why?’
As the title reveals: coaching is the shortcut of life.
Think about it:
- You can read books to learn how to attract women.
However, as soon as you approach the first one, it doesn’t always go according to the book 😉 - You can watch videos of other dating coaches or myself, and emulate the lines and techniques.
And when you’re standing in front of a woman, and everything’s happening as in videos, I’d say you still have a shot at attracting her. But the moment you need to improvise, you mess up. - You can go out on your own to practice your flirting skills, perhaps with the aid of the above resources.
This is the best way. Real-world experience is the pathway to mastery. However, you won’t immediately recognize what you need to work on. You are your own blind-spot. It will cost you lots of effort and focus to understand your mistakes and to brush off any negative reactions as a result of your mistakes.
However.
Nothing’s more powerful than combining these 3.
+
An expert who mindfully watches your every move and gives you real-time feedback.
A.K.A
Coaching.
Having said that I’d like to share my own motto…
Thanks to this you’ll save yourself the pain of long-term trial and error. And you’ll probably also do your bank account a favor in the long-run.
Because skills are not isolated things.
They’re often clustered.
As you improve one skill, you can use parts of that in other areas and skills.
That’s why we’ll see participants who join one of our workshops, also taking steps forward in their career, their presentation skills get better, and in general they have an easier time when communicating and dealing with people.
Oh… it doesn’t matter what type of skill you use coaching for.
Coaching (or mentoring) shifts the rate of your success to a higher gear. Whenever you ask a successful person if you should receive coaching.
You’ll hear a booming:
YES.
This is my definition of happiness:
Yes, dear readers, I yet again shamelessly quoted myself in an article 😉
Watch others who’ve participated in an attraction course share the same opinion.
Are you one of those people still on the fence about whether to take a course or not?
Let me convince you as a dating expert to stay at home in your lazy chair…
…and the only female interaction you have, being played on your screen.
The best tip an online dating expert can give you
I couldn’t give you a better tip:
Begin now.
Gain experience.
Invest now so you can enjoy it fully later on, instead of looking back and thinking:
Because ‘if only’, are probably the saddest words you could end up saying.
Therefore.
Use my free Transformation Kit to get started.
Consisting of all kinds of flirtatious lines, techniques to attract women, and tools to guide every conversation in the right direction…both online and offline.
Check it out below with only a single click, and receive dating tips in your mailbox daily.
No fuss.
Your flirting expert,
Dan de Ram
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