Let’s turn you into a dating expert
Because this article will teach you:
- 9 Dating tips for men combined in this ultimate dating guide
- 3 Simple tricks for a sublime good first impression
- How to date a girl and never end up in the friendzone again
- The 2 dating techniques that will make her extremely attracted to you
- The bizarre insights from 50 Shades of Grey
- The dating rules for men about kissing on the first date, without risk
- Readymade flirting lines for the whole dating process
- And much more…
By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
How to date a girl
So you’re dating someone, or you’d like to date someone…
How do you approach things, so she wants to kiss you? Or wants to message you immediately after the date longing for the next?
Whether you’re dating your latest Tinder match, or whether you’ve been eyeing her for a while…
Remember this dating rule:
The date is like a film trailer.
This film trailer gives a glimpse into the movie of your life. If you ruin the trailer, nobody wants to see the film.
(Even if it’s the best film on earth.)
So, let’s not ruin the date.
Have your first meeting like a boss. You want to be anything except an “Average Andy.”
And you know…
It’s not hard to make her fall a little bit in love with you on the first or second date. As long as you know what you’re doing.
That’s why I’m going to give you my best dating tips for men here – the ones I still use myself up until this day.
Tip #1: Why you want to be Grey
I’m not talking about your hair color. Though I’ve already coached plenty of 50+ men toward success with women.
I am, however, talking about Christian Grey.
A lot of men fail to understand the 50 Shades of Grey craze.
… just about EVERY WOMAN ON EARTH finds this book erotic.
If 50 Shades has this much influence on the ladies…
Couldn’t we find some brilliant dating techniques in this book?
Don’t worry; you still don’t have to read the book. I’ve done that for you.
And yes, it works as well if you’d like to find a girlfriend.
Mega-dominant, complex, rich, mysterious SM-fan (Grey) meets an innocent ordinary girl (Anastasia). They start a bizarre sexual relationship, through which she finds out, step by step, why he is the way he is.
I’ll give you one practical tip from the book, and then one deeper tip.
First dating tip for men:
Be a shade more dominant
Research has shown that women find dominance an attractive characteristic in their male partners.
One passage from 50 Shades of Grey shows a subtle but dominant example.
That’s when Mr. Grey says Anastasia shouldn’t bite her lips.
Because it’ll make him jealous, He wants to be the only one who bites her lips.
Now maybe that makes you think: “that’s idiotic, who says that?”
That’s because you look at the man-woman relationship in a logical way.
You’re a man, and logic might be one of your strengths. But logic won’t help you much in these kinds of conversations.
Because the above example is not about ‘biting one’s lips.’
It’s about the fact that Grey has such a thirsty desire for Anastasia that he can even get jealous of herself biting her own lips.
It sounds mad, but for women, one of the greatest sexual triggers, perhaps the greatest aphrodisiac… is a man who desires her unapologetically, and who dares to say that.
Of course, this is not the only female sexual trigger.
If you’re wondering what are the other things that turn on women, read this article:
Don’t let her drive you crazy; be clear in your intentions for her without sucking up, of course.
More about this soon. But first the second dating tip for men:
Getting to know women to the core
If you want to get to know women even better, then let me give you a deeper tip.
Especially if you often think:
- Why is she going for such an asshole? And not for me?
- How do women in a relationship change their boyfriends?
- And if you change for her, she breaks up with you!
- Why do serial killers get love letters from female admirers?
- Can I also be attracted without changing into a rude prick?
To put this into practice, I’ll give you the ultimate dating mindset tip:
Tip #2: Mindset… Think!
This tip is going to sound crazy.
Because of course, you’re thinking:
Well, most people criticize themselves all day long.
I don’t call that thinking.
What I mean is that you need to think constructively, critically, about your growth. Your growth in dating and life.
Why is that so important in dating?
Because I’m not going to teach you a few tricks – I’m going to turn you into an attractive man.
Men often say to me:
Okay, if you’d done more thinking instead of just Netflixing and criticizing yourself, then you’d have gotten a lot further.
I also wasn’t born with an army of women who instantly wanted to do it with me.
(That expression sounds a bit gross, but you know what I mean.)
These are my before and after pictures
So, what does it mean to think PROPERLY?
You want to be clear about your thoughts:
- Never think permanently: “I’m insecure” or “that’s so difficult.”
- Instead, think: “I feel insecure” or “that’s a challenge.”
- Never believe it’s too easy: “well, I’ll just meet my true love just at the moment I stop looking.”
- Instead, think: “if I find a system to meet at least one woman every day, I’ll increase my social skills and chances so much that I will AUTOMATICALLY become good with women.”
- Think! Reading a good book will stimulate you further and will give you lots to talk about.
As you see, success with women isn’t a matter of ‘luck’ or ‘just looks’ or ‘something you just have.’
Success with women is a mindset and skill!
Just like nobody was born with a driving license, nobody was born with seduction skills.
I’ll use the following tips to teach you how to develop this…
Let’s continue with immediately applicable tips for your dates.
Many men automatically make this mistake, and you’re not going to do this ever again after reading this.
Let this be your biggest dating advice:
Tip #3: Creative date ideas
Question: What does Average Andy do on a date?
Exactly. He meets her in front of one place or another that he tried much too hard for. Goes in with her, sits there for two hours, and leaves again.
He makes a creepy attempt to get a kiss, but she turns her head.
The next day, he gets a message:
How to dynamically date women
Hollywood has seriously fucked up our perception of reality. Watch a random chick flick and see how it describes a good date…
If you’re going to carry out these kinds of plans, it’s not going to end with a happy end, but with a horror story.
Let’s look at a few of these horror dates…
You meet each other, sit next to each other for two hours while you stare at a white sheet… Fun film, maybe.
But it’s typical for a lot of people. They think like this:
The cinema can take care of the entertainment, so I don’t have to be that interesting.
You put your arm around her, and you say:
Yeah, the film is so great, don’t I deserve a kiss for that?
Haha, nope, sorry.
But you could also:
GO TO DINNER
Another annoying location. She’s just met you, you decide to go on a date, and there you are… Opposite each other.
There’s lots of tension.
If the whole thing turns out to be nothing, she can’t leave because you still have an entire dinner to finish.
Oh yeah, and how, in this situation, can you make things a little more physical to build up to that kiss?
Well, let’s leave Hollywood for what it is:
(By the way, if you want a completely different view on dating, check out this scene from Movie 47)
So yeah, for a first date: don’t go to the cinema or to dinner.
You should instead come up with a creative date idea.
‘Need some inspiration? Check this out:
Tip #4: How dating should be done
The secret to good dates is that you add a lot of motion.
That doesn’t mean you have to run a marathon.
- Think of motion between your rendezvous point and your first date location
- Think of motion in terms of switching locations
- Think about maybe going for an exciting date idea for one of your later dates
Choose at least two date ideas, and make sure you have plenty of time to walk in between. Your date is less like a boring painting, and more like a dynamic film.
And because she will experience more environments with you, it automatically feels like she’s known you longer, which has a positive effect.
Make sure that you don’t meet up at your first date location, but that you meet up about a 10-minute walk from your first location.
The advantage is that you can then walk off the tension for 10 minutes and get to know each other a little better.
If you’re wondering how to arrange that with her, tell her via WhatsApp that you know a great place for the date, but that it’s still a secret.
That way, you can get away with any place to meet.
Sit next to each other rather than opposite each other
At your locations, you want to sit next to each other instead of opposite each other as much as possible. Maybe you recognize this: when you sit opposite each other, you feel a lot more tension to perform and to talk.
When you sit next to each other, things feel automatically more relaxed, and it doesn’t feel as if you have to have something to say for every passing second. It is also easier to make use of the environment: Laughing about what people around you are doing and talking about what you are doing.
Dating wisdom: Arrange it so that the girl is seated against the arm of the sofa
And of course, it’s easier to get physical when you’re next to each other.
Fun date ideas
There’s a bunch of places that are great for a first date. A few basic rules:
- Creativity is always more important than money
- Show something that suits you, something that shows your personality
What I find very important (and recommend to everyone) is a high living room level. A space you can sit back on a sofa together, without a formal setting.
Your first location can easily be a cafe or pub, where you spend an hour or so. Then, your second location can be even more creative. For example, think about:
- The harbor
- An old, deserted villa (adventurous ladies love those places)
- Walking a special ‘light route’
- Giving her a guided tour of your town
So, your date would look like this:
First location >
Second location >
Up to you.
Where do you kiss her? I’ll get to that. First, some essential dating advice for men.
Tip #5: A great first impression for your date
Do you know the saying:
Still, you’re going to think very differently about this later.
Because did you know that a first impression is made in less than a second?
In 1/10th of a second even, research shows.
Your first impression turns out to be quite similar to the long-term impression people have of you.
In other words:
When you judge a book by its cover, that impression is often correct.
So, it is better to make sure that you make a stunner of an impression in that first split second!
Sometimes I see men for my dating workshops, who walk in as if they had last bought clothes with their mom three years ago…
That won’t help you make a good first impression.
Of course, it starts with taking good care of yourself. But I hope that’s so obvious that I don’t have to go into that 😉 In any case, make sure you buy the right clothing size, don’t smell out of your mouth, go to the hairdresser once every five weeks (at least!), and remove excess nose and ear hair.
But do you know what is at least as important and where you can make all the difference?
Okay, I get that you’re feeling nervous, but this is the time to take a deep breath and then do these things to get off to a good start:
Give me a smile
Yeah, of course.
Smiling is good.
Yeah, well, you might think so.
You can smile the wrong way and the right way.
Take a look:
Which of the two pictures do you like better?
I think you won’t like the one on the right.
That’s because he’s got a fake smile there.
His eyes don’t smile. The difference between a real and a fake smile is in the eyes, and on a deeper level: in your intention.
On the right, he laughs ‘because he has to,’ while on the left, he laughs at something funny he’s thinking about.
So, don’t just laugh out of politeness, make it sincere. As far as I’m concerned, put on a good piece of comedy before you go on your date.
Let’s move on. This is how I always start my dates:
Give a hug
Okay, the worst thing you can do, and that I’ve seen men do, is shake her hand.
Come on! It’s not a business meeting.
If you’ve met her before (like in a club) or it’s really “on,” you give her a hug. If she’s a little more distant, you give her three (3) kisses.
With a hug, it’s important to have a giving attitude. By this, we mean that you hug her, not because you want a kind of needy hug yourself. Stand up, open your arms, and walk quietly towards her. She’ll love the hug.
If I have a Tinder date, I’ll just give her a hug. To take the awkward “ooh, we don’t know each other” edge off the date.
What you don’t want to do is suddenly give her a hug when she doesn’t see it coming. Take things slow and relaxed.
Give her a compliment
Chances are she spent an hour in front of the mirror looking for the perfect outfit.
And yeah, she’s nervous, too. So, indicate you’re glad she made an effort for you.
Both example sentences do well, although it’s much more important what your intention is while you speak (the why) and the way you say it (the how).
More about that later.
Now, if you’re not comfortable giving compliments to women, two examples are not enough.
Here’s a step-by-step compliment guide, read it and you’ll always find the right words for women:
If you feel more confident, you can immediately combine compliments with teasing.
Example as a sentence after your compliment:
I like it when a woman makes an effort for me.
This immediately puts her in the context of:
You make an effort for me. And that is, of course, precisely what you want.
Tip #6: Act like a lover, not a friend
Hands in the air if you’ve ever been in the friendzone.
*Both hands go up*
One of the things I used to do wrong with women used to come from this thought:
Unfortunately, this only provides a ticket toward the friendzone!
(And the return tickets are sold out.)
When you act like a friend, she’s going to see you as a friend.
Here’s one of the fallacies:
Men and women are fundamentally different creatures… Making this statement is almost like cursing in church these days, but you know:
Just as we are attracted to a feminine woman, so a woman is attracted to a masculine man who knows how to treat her right.
Don’t worry; you don’t necessarily have to grow a beard and go to the gym five times a week (although it certainly doesn’t hurt).
Masculinity can be found in very different things.
Among other things, it can be found in…
Looking for tension & teasing her
If you’re naturally more of a nice guy like I used to be, you probably have a negative association with tension.
You know it.
Imagine you’re talking to a beautiful lady, and the conversation stops for a moment…
You look at each other, and the tension rises…
You feel it in your stomach, and your thoughts are running wild:
Unfortunately, this is a big misunderstanding.
Many men think that when the conversation goes silent, the woman will run away from you immediately.
So, let me give you one brilliant dating tip:
Tension is good
It’s called attraction for a reason.
Compare it to magnets:
There’s a certain tension between a + and a – pole, and that causes them to be attracted to each other.
When you put two ordinary pieces of metal next to each other, nothing happens.
So, dare to look for the tension.
You do that by teasing and challenging her.
Dare to disagree with her. Call her silly instead of kissing her ass like any other man.
A very healthy mindset during the date is:
Is she from a village?
Does she come from a big family?
Make spontaneous, teasing statements:
And the biggest dating advice with all these teases: Do it with a smile.
Do you want another 20+ examples of sentences you can apply for your conversations?
Which brings me right to the next point:
Tip #7: Be a leader
Dating women is like a dance.
Does she want a man who has doubts about the next step? Or a man who clumsily apologizes for the mistakes he makes?
You make mistakes.
Sometimes you don’t know the next step.
As long as you’re sure you can lead her to the next step, you can make all the mistakes you want!
Deep down, a woman wants nothing more than a guy she can completely rely on.
The tree which she can frolic around like a squirrel.
She doesn’t want to make choices, and she doesn’t want to be stressed, there are already enough emotions running through her head.
So, you as a man want to be her safe haven that dares to take charge.
There’s nothing more unattractive for a woman than when she asks you:
And you as a man answer with:
You may think you’re very nice and easy. And that you want to give her space to indicate what she wants.
But deep down, she doesn’t want that!
Another rule to get into your head from now on is that you think in every interaction with a woman:
or is she leading?”
And you’ll find there’s almost no limit to how much you can lead.
In the beginning, a woman will resist a little, because she can’t fully trust you yet, but once you get past that, she will ultimately surrender to you, and then you can lead anywhere you want 😉
As long as you continuously make the choices with self-confidence.
From time to time, I get the question ‘who’s paying?’.
Assuming your date was fun, do the following. When you’re at your first date location, and she goes to the bathroom, pay in secret. When she comes back, you say: “You know what, we’ll go somewhere else (note: don’t ask, just lead!).”
She’ll ask: “Shouldn’t we pay?”
To which you answer: “It’s already taken care off.”
Women can shout all they want about emancipation, but courtesy still gives you a big PLUS.
Tip #8: How to make her fall madly in love with you
When you apply dating tip 5 in its entirety, she’s going to feel a considerable attraction to you.
Do you particularly want to get a one-night stand or a friends with benefits? Then the tip below is not for you!
You probably want to lead to a longer, deeper connection when you are on a date with your dream woman.
With the next ingredient, she will fall madly in love with you.
Use it in moderation, because if you use it well, she will soon think of you day and night.
And that ingredient is Deep Connection.
When people have regular conversations, they often adapt more and more to each other in terms of body posture, voice use, etc. You then get in sync. It makes you like each other a little more. You can also see this as a superficial connection that arises.
But when you make a connection with someone on a deeper level, on an emotional level, then something extraordinary happens.
How you do this is by asking her questions about her motivations and why she does what she does.
I remember a while ago at a house party. I spoke to the nicest woman at the party, and pretty soon, we had a deep conversation. She told me what she did for a living, which was a child psychologist. I asked her why she liked it so much, and if she always wanted to become one. She told me that she was passionate about working with people, and then I asked where that came from. For example, how she dealt with people when she was little and at school.
Then I told her about what I wanted to become as little Danny. And that I understood her deepest feelings very well.
After which she shared something she always liked as a child, and now I asked what her real passions were.
And so, I peeled off layer by layer and told her more about myself as well. After this, she took off her mask completely, and there was a connection between us on a profound emotional level.
After an hour, her eyes were bigger than an average cartoon character, and suddenly she kissed me in the kitchen. Shaking and trembling from how special the thing between us felt, even in such a short time.
If you want to get good at dating, being able to connect with women is a must.
Here’s an article with everything you need to know about it:
And now a few exciting dating tips:
Tip #9: Getting physical and kissing
The moment many men live for on the date is, of course, when there’s kissing involved.
And you know, on the first date you HAVE to kiss. If you don’t, often there’s no second date for you.
So how does the average Andy do this? He waits until the last moment of the date and tries to get a kiss when you say goodbye. And you know, sometimes it works, too.
But even then, there’s still a good chance she doesn’t fancy a second date.
Because as soon as there’s a kiss, the whole dynamic changes. Suddenly it’s really on between you guys. And you want to enjoy that “on” energy earlier in the date.
The mistake that most men make, which means that kissing becomes such a big ‘thing,’ is this:
They don’t build up physical contact during the date.
Look, if you sit opposite each other for two hours and barely touch each other, then the step to kissing is suddenly huge.
So, you want to build up your physical contact slowly.
And that’s where walking and sitting next to each other comes in handy. When you tease her, you can, for example, give her a shoulder push or touch her back for a moment. In this way, you build up innocent physical contact.
You can also, for example, give her a hand massage at your first date location.
Or make a joke that you are a palm reader and then grab her hand. The inside of her hand is full of nerves, so if you touch it, it is very sensitive and yet innocent.
Physical contact is always built up by going a little further and then letting go for a while. To take the pressure off.
Then as you walk to the second location, grab her hand.
You’ll soon find out if she’s comfortable with that by, for example, squeezing her hand and seeing if she squeezes back.
When she is comfortable holding hands, you can actually kiss her already.
While walking, you can do that using the instant-stop method. While walking hand in hand, you suddenly stand still. Because she goes one step further, she will swing in your direction. Then step very quietly in front of her, look into her eyes, and go for the kiss.
This is so masculine and theatrical; it has never failed me.
What’s next about dating tips for men?
After your successful date, you should message her again reasonably quickly and plan a follow-up date as soon as possible.
We don’t just message for the sake of it 😉 Plan this second date, for example, a week later.
To improve your conversations even more and to optimize your texting skills, I have a free Transformation Kit for you below.
Through this, you will learn all the important things to make women crazy about you in every situation and to enjoy the success you always wanted, whether it’s with your dream woman or with a lot of nice women.
Dan de Ram