Is Fear of Commitment Hurting Your Happiness? 5 Signs + Plan for a Way Out

Dan de Ram

20 May 2020 by Dan de Ram

There’s a chance you suffer from fear of commitment.

A true son of a b*tch of a feeling.

You may have the most suitable ma’am at your side, and yet this fear blocks you from entering a fulfilling relationship or continuing it.

To help you with this dilemma, in this article I will show you:

By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?

You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.

How fear of commitment is a sneaky killer

‘What’s wrong with me?’ you ask yourself.

You feel as if the oasis you have been searching for endlessly in the middle of the Sahara has turned out to be a mirage.

But let’s rewind.

After dozens of strangers you approached, you found HER.

And that’s while you were strolling along the shopping streets of the city during your lunch break.

From the moment you exchanged your first words, your gut instincts made you understand that:

“There’s something different about her. She’s more than just a run-of-the-mill acquaintance.”

And in fact, after you take her out for coffee on your lunch hour, it turns out that she’s the perfect mixture of sweet, sexy, intelligent, and most positively crazy.

That chica…

Bingo!

This beautiful woman could be your soul mate.

And the best thing is that she also feels the connection between you and can’t wait to see you again.

A few days later, you have your first ‘real’ date.

You’re doing a cocktail bar tour and exploring which bar in town has the best Sex On The Beach…

…until you got to the end of your date:

Her apartment.

She invites you for green tea, and that’s when it happens:

You have passionate sex.

With her flexible tight body, she presents you moves you couldn’t even imagine in your wildest dreams.

You feel incredibly alive – like you’ve climbed Mount Everest…

… Until you’ve reached the climax.

Then the enthusiasm for your lady transforms into a feeling of bottomless indifference.

She snuggles up to you – you wish you were just lying alone in your bed again.

She suggests to you about spending the night together at her place – you think about jumping out of the window of her apartment.

She tells you passionately about her ‘unique smoothies’ that she wants to mix for you next morning – you feel sick by just thinking about waking up next to her in the morning.

“What’s wrong with me?

I’m lying in bed right now next to a goddess, who REALLY seems to understand me.

She’s doing her best for me and wants to keep me overnight.

It would be more than a lie if I said she didn’t have enormous Mrs. Right potential.

But why the hell do I feel so uncomfortable around her right now?”

You seem to have reached your paradise, and yet it feels like a mirage to you now in your ‘emotions-down.’

Let me tell you something, amigo:

Men’s fear of commitment: How to recognize it correctly

In the following lines, I will show you indicators that suggest that you suffer from fear of commitment.

Logically, you can apply the symptoms I am showing you to a lady of your choice to see if she suffers from the same fear.

However, before you judge whether you or her is a ‘victim’ of this fear, the following thing is UNALTERABLE:

Read the symptoms in a cluster.

Just because you recognize only one symptom it doesn’t mean necessarily that you have a fear of commitment.

On the other hand, the more symptoms you recognize, the bigger the chance that you actually have some form of commitment anxiety.

Comprendre?

Bueno.

Vamos!

I present you the 5 fear of commitment / fear of emotional intimacy signs

Sign #1: You’re afraid of losing control over your life

Isn’t the single life fantastic?

You…

You feel like the master of your life – at least you’re firmly convinced that you’re one as long as you’re single.

However, as soon as it seems to get more serious with a lady, your body switches to an ‘alarm-bell-mode.’

You want to avoid losing your freedom at all costs.

Because the moment a chica tells you how much she loves you and how she loves to spend time with you, your brain does the following:

It plays every negative example of a relationship, you know…

…and you inevitably must think of this one guy in your circle of friends.

This one compañero, who used to be the most adventurous of all your homies.

A man who had a penchant for the craziest ideas and put them into practice.

“Nude bathing at 3:00 a.m. Sounds good, I’m in!”

“Let’s spend next weekend in the woods like Bear Grylls – without tents!”

But when he met his mademoiselle and entered a relationship with her, he changed FULLY.

He…

His partner in crime claims him completely for herself, while he subjects to her as if he were her court jester.

Once you meet him, he seems distant and soulless.

Crazy trips are a thing of the past – now he’s ‘grown-up’ and prefers to watch Netflix with his beloved on Friday night (at least he pretends to love it).

Through this flashback to your Amigo, you categorically reject every potential girlfriend – no matter how hot a girl is and how fantastic she objectively fits you.

After all, you don’t want to end up like your buddy…

Sign #2: Nobody is good enough for you

Aaaaaaalright.

Probably one of the most obvious indicators of fear of commitment is the following:

You have unrealistic expectations of your potential Mrs. Right, which no woman on this PLANET can live up to.

There’s, of course, nothing objectionable about wanting a beautiful, athletic, and eloquent woman.

However, if your ideals are utopian, this fantasy is often only a protective mechanism.

Because no real woman can even come close to your standards, you can’t enter a relationship with her in which you can be hurt in any way.

However, more realistically, this standard is likely just a trauma that you’ve experienced and that you NEVER want to experience again.

Let me show you what I mean by that:

Sign #3: You have a traumatized image of love

Welcome to probably the WORLD’S biggest cause for fear of commitment (true story).

You’re afraid of entering a relationship because you were traumatized by love.

Through one or more certain terrible experiences with relationships, your picture of long-term relationships has changed dramatically.

Let me show you two of the most common scenarios:

Scenario 1: Your parents were constantly fighting back then

Maybe you grew up in an environment where your parents were constantly fighting, and you absorbed in your naive understanding:

“Love,’? If being in a relationship means hurting each other and fighting 24/7, I don’t ever want to have it.”

The interesting thing here is:

Even if by now, you can logically explain that your negative experiences belong to the past…

…and they have nothing to do with you now, your subconscious is sabotaging you in entering a relationship.

It turns on its protective mechanism and motivates you to keep any lady, and you might have a relationship with a distance.

It does this by preventing you from developing feelings and makes you suppress them instead.

Scenario 2: You’ve experienced cruel past relationships

Maybe you’ve been in some relationships before.

However, these weren’t marked by luck (unfortunately).

Whether your past has chosen one

Your logical conclusion to this was:

“I never want to experience this again.”

That’s why you avoid any relationship at all costs.

Sign #4: You have Player Syndrome

You spot her at the bar with your eagle eyes.

She has angelic blond hair, a cute top with leather leggings, and elegant high heels.

“Hoooly shyte! She’s exactly my type.”

You walk up to her, but your euphoric ‘greeting’ leaves her cold.

This spicy Señorita is the reincarnation of the term ‘hard-to-get’ in person.

She…

How fortunate that you have my know-how from this article ready and know how to deal with her.

A few minutes later, she seems like a different person:

You broke her ‘iron front.’

And that’s when it happens:

You lose interest in her.

And the worst thing: You recognize this pattern over and over again.

As soon as you discover a girl who offers you a challenge, you want to overcome the hurdles.

However, when the challenge is over, you no longer feel any attraction to her.

From an ice-cold woman who gives you little ‘in return’ to a shy beauty who doesn’t usually go wild on a first date with a man or has sex before a relationship.

You’re basically attracted to the challenge, not to the lady.

Again, this is a protective mechanism that your brain activates to avoid being hurt.

With this behavior, you are just trying to compensate for past negative experiences in your love life.

Often the player syndrome is a product of a failed former relationship in which you’ve been cheated on or otherwise ‘betrayed’ by your former flame – and your self-esteem got destroyed.

With your wannabe player move, you vainly try to get an ego-push…

Sign #5: You’re wearing a mask

If you consciously separate love from your life, there’s a chance that fear of commitment lies behind this.

“What do you mean by that, Dan?”

The following is not untypical for people with commitment anxiety:

Like an affair, you behave towards your female acquaintances as if you had to keep your semi-romantic arrangement secret à la Romeo and Juliet.

You can go out with her, joke around, and have wild coitus sessions.

But, there’s one thing you can’t do:

Being vulnerable.

You remain superficial in your encounters and avoid conversations from turning too serious.

No.

All this, she can’t know.

After all, you have been rejected in the past by a lady to whom you have confided your most intimate and darkest secrets.

Even if that wasn’t the most likely reason, she rejected you in the end, and you may have felt as if you were being ‘punished’ for making yourself vulnerable to a madam.

Therefore, you put on a mask and keep it strategically at a distance – just as if you were a callboy who only pursues his profession…

Doesn’t sound very fulfilling, huh?

That’s because it ISN’T.

Hasta la vista, fear of commitment!

Perfecto, muchacho.

Now you know which indicators you can use to determine whether you suffer from fear of commitment.

The only thing you are probably wondering right now is (as long as you have concluded that you are affected by it):

How the f*ck do you overcome it?

And for this I have one plausible tip and two perspicuous steps for you:

Let’s start with the tip:

Overcome your fear by confronting it and enter a relationship.

This is how you show your mortal body that NOTHING happens to you when you open up to a lady and make her your girlfriend.

Even if you separate from each other, you should quickly conclude that you still have all body parts, including your cojones on you. You survived it.

Of course, that doesn’t mean that you should start a relationship with the next woman you meet.

It’s way smarter to overcome your fear with a woman who REALLY matches to you.

“I see Dan. But how the hell do I do that?”

Terrific question!

That’s why I’ve put together a two-step plan for you:

  1. Determine if she is the right one for you
    • How you find that out, by the way, I’ll show you in this article
  2. Set for both of your ideal conditions for a fulfilling relationship

“Gracias. But what do I do when my chosen one is the one who suffers from the fear of commitment?”

I can tell, today you really have it with the excellent questions.

First, you should know that many attractive women often use fear of commitment as an excuse to avoid a relationship with you.

They don’t want to hurt you and ‘blame themselves.’

Regardless of whether she has the symptoms mentioned above and associates a feeling of fear with the word ‘commitment’ or whether it’s just a pretext.

In practice, you can kill both birds with one stone:

My free gift to you

If you know exactly how to deal with beautiful women in order to win them over, something magical happens:

Bro.

In my opinion, your PROACTIVITY should be rewarded.

You seem to want to take your love life into your own hands, searched for advice, and eventually came across this article.

In return, I’d like to tell you today how you can trigger exactly this feeling in attractive women.

That’s why I put together my free Transformation Kit for you.

A downloadable kit that advances your journey to your most attractive self RAPIDLY.

Are you ready to take your love life to the next level?

Get it here:

My Transformation Kit.

Have fun with it!

Your bro,
Dan de Ram

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and painful rejections

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