You want to approach the lady crossing you in the street.
You want to hit up the girls in the club.
You’re afraid of women.
In this article you will learn:
- Why I am happy that you are scared of women (and why I’m not even ashamed of it)
- How to defeat the paradox of terror and the demonic rule of three
- How you can look behind the scary grimace of the boogeyman
- Why beautiful women can’t intimidate Dan Bilzerian
- The Spartan way to keep your fear of women at bay
- How you can climb the Mount Olympus and achieve social freedom
You are in the presence of a beautiful woman and your body does what it always does in these situations:
It activates panic mode.
You don’t feel good.
Alright, BIG understatement.
More accurately. Frantically you search for the ejection seat button to escape this situation as soon as possible…
… and most of the time you find the escape.
I get it. Why the hell would you want to stay in a situation that painful?
Even before my professional diagnosis, you know that you’re suffering from:
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Phobia of (beautiful) women
Yes, I know…
Fear inducing creatures, right?
Well… not really.
I LOVE WOMEN.
And I know in my heart you would love them too if you weren’t that scared of them.
And sorry (not sorry), but IDOLIZING women does not count as LOVING.
(That’s one of the reasons why men fear women, but more on that later.)
Anyways, I am super happy that you are shying away from the female gender. Really. And I’m not even shameful about it.
Why? Because I’m a pig?
The main reason for my happiness is rather:
You’re admitting your fear of women.
Maybe you think admitting is peanuts, but it is actually amazing. Most men are still stuck in the denial phase.
Let me explain.
I am helping men for over 5 years now to get the kind of love life Amor, the god of love himself, would be jealous of. Daily, I am in contact with countless men telling me things not even their best friends know about them.
Of course, that honors the shit out of me. But it is certainly not a one-sided relationship. Sometimes I learn as much from them as they learn from me.
I know EXACTLY what is going on inside the minds of men.
I know their strengths, potential, and greatness.
But I also know their fears, malevolence, and weaknesses.
I know what moves them, keeps them awake at night, and what is holding them back. And I can tell you that the fear of girls is far more common amongst men than society wants to admit.
It’s a huge problem no one talks about!
One reason is that men don’t really like to talk about it. And let’s not forget the fact that it is not easy to admit as a man that you are afraid of women. In fact, your ego will do EVERYTHING to fight against this idea:
You have to know:
Owning your fear is the first step to overcome it, my friend.
And that, my dear amigo, is the reason why I am so happy that you are here. You’ve already done step one. That means we don’t have to bullshit each other and can grab this topic by the balls immediately.
Let’s do it.
Gynophobia – The demonic triple clusterfuck
Your fear of girls comes in all shapes and sizes. There is:
- Approach anxiety
- Afraid of rejection from a girl
- Fear of loss
- Fear of commitment
- Pathological gynophobia
Most men reading this article probably ‘only’ suffer from fear of rejection.
It’s not like that is no problem. On the contrary:
If you knew how subtly this fear sabotages all aspects of your life, you’d go crazy.
But things can always be worse. In fact, there are men (you?) who panic already merely being in the same room with a beautiful woman.
You think it can’t get worse?
Wrong! Hell is bottomless.
Those are rare cases, but there are indeed men who already panic solely when THINKING about a woman. Psychologists have a hard time defining at what point you can speak of gynophobia, the pathological fear of women.
Gynophobia often gets confused with misogyny (= hating women). But being scared of women doesn’t mean you automatically hate them. Far from it.
Sure, fear of women can definitely lead to hating women. Affected men are so busy demonizing women that they fail to realize:
They are cowards.
You might be thinking now I don’t like misogynists. In that case I can tell you: you are goddamn right.
AttractionGym is a misogyny free zone.
Here women are (to be) loved.
Misogynists need serious help, too. But they can go to my competitors or to a psychologist… I don’t care. Here they are not welcome.
Most men suffering from fear of women don’t actually hate women. On the contrary:
They think women are super duper awesome.
And that’s part of the problem.
First, they often have fear of female sexuality.
Second: they idealize them and put them on a pedestal.
And so they end up in the grip of gynophobia’s demonic rule of three:
- When you put someone on a pedestal, you can only look up to that person
- When you look up, you automatically feel smaller
- When you feel small, you are easily affected by negative emotions such as fear
And as if that wasn’t already brutal enough, you also got the paradox of terror:
A very crappy situation…
… you can fight yourself out of.
Generally, it should be enough to simply follow these 5 steps:
5 steps to get rid of fear of beautiful women
Step #1: Take responsibility
Whatever you do, this should ALWAYS be the first step.
Responsibility is one of the fundamental elements of my teachings.
What do I mean by that?
Women are NOT responsible for your fear.
Your parents aren’t either. Nor is the handsome writer of this article.
So when you come to me and say:
… I say:
You are an adult man.
And I am not your mother.
Yes, I am ready to take responsibility for what I say. And you should do the same.
So, decide for yourself how much you want to go along with my tips.
Ask yourself whether you need psychological mentoring or even medication.
I will help you, but you have to carry the burden of responsibility yourself.
Step #2: Fight like a Spartan
You are carrying responsibility on your own shoulders?
Then let’s spartan the shyt out of some Persians.
I hate to disappoint you, but it is not what you think it is…
What I mean is, first, we have to check who the enemy is.
Think about it:
How could 300 Spartans fight off a giant, Persian army?
Strictly speaking, they didn’t even fight against the whole army. Just a handful of soldiers could pass the bottleneck where the Spartans strategically positioned themselves.
If King Leonidas had attacked the whole army, Xerxes’ troops would have made spaghetti carbonara out of his men within minutes.
Why are men afraid of women?
The thing is:
Men who are afraid of women don’t actually see the woman.
What do they really know about her? Nothing.
What they see is a manifestation of a judgmental ideal. A kind of goddess that decides whether they are good enough or not.
And that is indeed a fear-inducing thought – even for me.
So, do it like the Spartans did and focus on what you have in front of you. Instead of allowing yourself to be overwhelmed by what could be behind a woman.
Look at her closely:
- Does she have pimples?
- Does she have curves where there shouldn’t be any?
- Does she say dumb things that are factually incorrect?
- Does she grunt when laughing?
You know what that means, right?
She is only human…
You have to be ready to end your relationship with the ideal woman.
No worries, it ain’t that bad.
You wouldn’t believe it, but I am not flawless myself. Far from it. But I love myself anyway (or even exactly because of these flaws).
And just as your remarkably humble Bro loves himself, you can love women.
It goes without saying: in order to love yourself, you gotta be yourself.
Sounds easy? It’s not. But if you want to be more confident, you should start being true to yourself. Now.
How do you that? Everything is explained in this article, read it:
>> “Just Be Yourself”, THIS is What She Actually Means by That
Step #3: Hang with the boogeyman
This point is so important it is worth repeating over and over:
You have to end your relationship with the ideal woman.
The faster you stop thinking female poop smells like roses, women fart butterflies and never pick their noses, cause there is disgusting green bugger inside, the better for everybody involved.
The ideal woman doesn’t exist.
I know it can be hard to realize– especially when the woman is astonishingly beautiful. Although, extremely beautiful often also comes with a few extremely loose screws, if you know what I mean.
How do I know this?
Because I hang out with them.
And that is something you should do as well.
There are 2 ways:
- The Dan Bilzerian way
Hang with as many beautiful women as you can. That way you will realize one day they are as human as you are.
Because you clicked on this article, I assume this isn’t such an easy task for you. No worries. There is a second way:
- The non-superficial way
That is the way I recommend to everyone.
Hang out with ALL KINDS of women – tiny, tall, small, big… doesn’t matter at all.
That way you realize:
Maybe the boogeyman ends up being a chill dude who only waited for you to look behind his scary grimace.
So yeah, you start hanging out with all kinds of girls. Say you meet one (or two!) that you like. Then, what?
You want to be able to flirt with her, right? Good thing I wrote an entire article about flirting, check it out:
>> 7 Unexpected Flirting Tips and Hacks to Become Irresistible
Step #4: Climb Mount Olympus
As discussed, one reason for fear of women is:
Men are scared sh*tless of “not being good enough”.
That fear isn’t as stupid as most “gurus” and life coaches say.
You could think evolution of human kind was random.
But that would be wrong.
Yes, mutations are random.
But women have selected “worthy” men for thousands of years.
Women are the selecting gender.
In matter of seconds and with skilled eyes a woman can judge whether you are worthy or not.
Holy crap, how can one not be scared of women?
Yes, you can learn to give zero f*cks about a woman’s opinion. And, when a greater peace of mind is of importance to you, you should learn that noble skill.
But you should also see it as motivation.
As motivation to become the best version of yourself.
When you constantly work on yourself, you will get to a point, where you just know that you are worthy.
How long does that take, you ask?
Well, it differs from man to man. For some an intense weekend can already be enough. Others may need a year or two. But according to my experience as a professional dating coach, EVERYBODY can do it.
Climbing the top of Mount Olympus – meaning: growing with every step you take – is so worthwhile, it makes me want to scream “hallelujah” from the top of my lungs (and I am sitting in a café right now).
The good thing is:
It is not like you are either at the top and feel awesome or at the bottom and feel like horseshyt. With every step upward you’ll feel better, stronger and more confident.
But how do you start working on yourself?
You might want more information about this. I explain everything you need to know in this article, check it out:
>> 10 Simple Things That Improve Your Life TODAY!
Step #5: The Social Superstar Method
I got bad news for ya, dear friend…
Your fear of women will NEVER disappear.
But we can achieve something even better:
We can make you braver.
Let women be as scary as they want to be. Who cares if you are the bravest maddafakka around?
How to become that guy?
Through classic exposure therapy.
You can’t get yourself to approach women?
Ok, no worries. Can you have eye contact with them?
Ok, no worries once again. Let’s start even smaller.
Can you IMAGINE talking to a woman?
Perfect, this is where we start. The moment this is less uncomfortable for you (a bit uncomfortable is always ok) we move on to the next step.
Can you shortly smile at a woman?
Barely, but you can?
And that’s how we go on and on… Until you are so brave you can stop a huge group of women and flirt with all of them.
And when you can do THAT… how hard is it to talk to one woman?
Ask yourself if you need this gradual exposure therapy. Many men just have to go through with this. I certainly profited from it back in my innocent days.
Whatever you do, make sure you look into the eyes of your fear as often as possible.
That is the only way to grow stronger than your fear.
Dan de Ram
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