Relationships are Meant For You to Feel Lonely (Sometimes) + What to Do

You have a great girl by your side.

The relationship is pretty much fantastic, everything you ever dreamt of.


Even with her next to you, loving you, caring for you… you still feel lonely.

Why? How?

You’re unsure. Except for the fact that the feeling is unpleasant and you might worry about your relationship.

Luckily I am here for you. I‘ll show you:

  • Feeling lonely in a relationship (or lonely in marriage)? Why constant feelings of loneliness are pure poison to your body
  • What you can learn from Counter Strike about long-term relationship happiness
  • The crucial thing that causes most relationships (and perhaps yours) to fail from the beginning
  • The ‘Solitude-Molotov cocktail’: How to get over loneliness in 3 simple steps
  • And much more…

By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?

You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.

How come you feel lonely in a relationship?

After a crazy dream in which mutant kamikaze squirrels have world domination, you wake up drenched in sweat.

You look out of your room door and your bedroom window in panic.

Pooh. No squirrels. All is well.

So, you go back to bed – back to her:

The love of your life.

When she’s sleeping, she looks incredibly cute.

She has pressed her palms together and lies with her head on top of them as if her hands were a pillow, while her body takes up half a fetal position.

>> The Art of Dominating a Woman in Bed in 5 Tips.

But apart from this feeling of pure affection, you’ve been going through a lot of headaches lately.

Caused by emotions you can’t explain take you to the edge of madness.

Because even though you love her and you may already be living with her…

…you feel lonely in your relationship.

It’s as if you were locked in a dungeon in the infinite depths of Azkaban.

A place where no one can hear or see you.

Even when you were single, you never felt so alone.

Yet, only a few weeks/months/years ago (since the beginning of your relationship) there wasn’t a single trace of this emotional chaos.

‘What the hell is wrong with me?’ you wonder, startled at your state of mind.

After all, you’re supposed to be happy – I mean you have a wonderful partner by your side.

It seems to be a paradox and every day you notice it you feel even more terrible.

But the feeling of loneliness just won’t let you go, while your frustration reaches new levels.

However, as of today, this is over.

In this article I bring you with my imaginary floodlight some brightness into your seemingly hopeless darkness.

What to do if you feel lonely?

When we think of ‘loneliness’, most people among us associate the following with it:

  • A widowed 89-year-old frail lady who lives in a – far too big – farmhouse left by her husband
  • An unemployed mummy’s boy who still lives in his parents’ basement at the age of 35
  • A mother who has lost the custody of her children and lives in a remote wooden hut in the forest
  • Or similar misfortunes…

In doing so, we often confuse objective loneliness with the subjective feeling of feeling lonely.

Of course, in the cases described above, there is a much higher chance that the respective persons also feel alone.

After all, they are also physically lonely and on their own.

But studies prove it again and again:

Loneliness can be fully independent of any physical circumstances (yes, you can even feel loneliness in marriage).

In fact, it can even be chronic and therefore inheritable.

Thus, on average, every fifth person on this blue planet feels alone.

The astonishing thing about this fact:

Of this 20 %, about 62.5% are married and live together with a partner.

A constant feeling of loneliness can have serious negative consequences for your health research shows:


  • Harms your immune system in the long term and shortens your life expectancy
  • Increases the risk of suffering from cardiovascular diseases
  • Increases the risk of developing severe depression and anxiety
  • Lowers your self-esteem in a self-destructive way, thereby manipulating the attitude you have towards others NEGATIVELY

But where the hell does that feeling even come from?

Why do countless people and possibly you feel lonely, even though they aren’t physically alone?

To remove these myth-enshrouded question marks from your face, I will now reveal the three most crucial reasons why you can feel lonely in your relationship.

Let’s go!

>> Online Dating for Marriage Minded Men – 3 Things You Have to Know.

Reason #1: Your communication resembles a Counter-Strike match

You decide to play a neat game of Counter Strike.

‘Shred noobs! Shred noobs!! SHRED NOOBS!!!’ is the only melody that hisses through your determined skull.

The world ranking list should have a new #1 soon – you. That’s your goal.

So, you go straight into the fray and join a match.

But when you look at the team overview, you quickly realize something:

While there are random players on your team, your opponents seem to know each other, they’re in the same clan.

A bead of sweat drips down your forehead.

‘Pfff, that doesn’t mean we’re going to lose pathetically!’ you motivate yourself.

After all, all you need is a better tactic to succeed.

So, what do you do?

Right. You press your Push-To-Talk button to work out an awesome strategy with your compañeros.

However, your suggestions only meet one thing:

Russian curses.

>> How To Court a Woman Successfully? 7 Tips to Make Her Fall For You.

Cyka blyaaaaaaaat!

Answers a prepubescent boy while your other comrade eagerly pounds the buttons of his keyboard as he doesn’t even have a headset.

Holy shit.

You are doomed to fail before the match has even started.

You may be a gifted shooter and take out a lot of enemies in every round, but in the end you can’t stand a chance against the well-rehearsed team.

‘How embarrassing…’, you tell yourself

Your defeat can be broken down to one simple factor that decides between ‘disastrous defeat’ and ‘glorious victory’.

A factor that is INEVITABLE in every interpersonal relationship that you want to succeed.

What I’m talking about is:

Clear communication.

Without it it’s impossible to grow into a well-rehearsed team.

Both in Counter Strike (or any other multiplayer game) and in your relationship (or various friendships).

You feel lonely in your relationship?

Then it might be that you don’t communicate with your lady properly, although something seems to be burning on each other’s tongues.

You may not even know about each other’s…

  • Biggest passions because you feel uncomfortable sharing your hobbies – which might could be seen as nerdy or embarrassing
  • Life dreams and visions, because you may be afraid of being laughed at or otherwise condemned for them
  • Your TRUE feelings, because you don’t want to confront each other with negative emotions, out for fear that your relationship happiness will suffer under sharing them

If one of these applies to (one of) you, you basically do the following:

You suppress your ‘I’- your authentic being.

>> Signs of a Healthy Relationship: 11 Telling Questions.

It’s as if you put on a mask that you think matches your partner in crime.

So, you’re hoping to make your relationship happier…

After all, the mask and the partner at your side have more in common than your actual self with her/him (that’s at least what you think).

However, what you don’t realize is, that you only achieve these two things with that:

  • You lose tons of your own energy because you replace your true self 24/7 with a played mask
  • You create a gigantic feeling of loneliness in your brain because it undermines your true character, while you don’t share any real emotions with your counterpart

…and all this until you finally break up.

You could have spared yourselves all misery if you had done one thing in the first place:

Being honest and authentic to each other.

If you have the feeling that she is fooling you and not being herself, call her out empathetically.

As a loyal member of the AttractionGym family, you’ve probably already heard of our highly acclaimed ‘Go first!’-principle.

Which means you start by opening up to your lady first to give her a feeling of permission to open up to you as well.

You share unfiltered…

  • Your fears and emotions
  • Your biggest dreams and visions
  • Your most beloved passions
  • Your experiences

When she begins to give you her perspective on these things, of course you don’t judge her doing so – even if you are more different than day and night at every level of your thinking.

Worst case you might find out that you fit together terribly and decide to go separate ways in the future.

But that’s not as bad as it might sound.

After all, in that case you save yourself a lot of time that you would never have gotten back.

Time that you can spend instead with partners who match fantastically to you.

So, communicate with each other.

>> 7 Options to Get a Girl’s Attention (Using Both Passive and Active Attraction).

Only this way true chemistry can develop between you.

Greater chemistry than a well-rehearsed team from Counter Strike that is climbing the #1 of the clan world ranking list. 😉



And now that we’ve got that cleared up, I want to show you two more scenarios where lack of communication arises for some reason other than fear of what your respective counterparts think about you…

…and how you deal with it.

Scenario #1: Temporal loneliness

She’s a passionate nurse, while you’re a talented bartender.

You’re a busy broker while she’s out there as a booked lawyer.

… Or in whatever constellation.

In some cases, you may both feel lonely in your relationship because you hardly ever see each other for time reasons.

Especially if you are very much in love with each other at the beginning of your relationship, lack of affection can be enormously frustrating for you.

To counteract this, I recommend the following:

Agree on fixed quality time with your chosen one.

Time in which you leave your smartphones switched off and focus completely on your respective partner.

>>How To Approach A Girl At A Bar The Ways She Desires: 10 Tips.

And give each other affection and attention.

To 169%.

Spontaneity brings freshness to a relationship. But if you see each other anyway only seldom, it’s more important for your relationship happiness that you see each other at all…

…and for the rest of the time that you have left, be REALLY there for each other.

Physically AND mentally.

Often, temporal chaos is temporary.

It’s usually a period of professional stress.

However, when it becomes permanent for an indefinite period of time and you are firmly convinced that you are right for each other, you should do the following:

  1. Think about how you can make more time for each other
  2. Decide which sacrifices you are willing to accept

Perhaps your dilemma is already fixable by changing shifts, so that one of you chooses an early shift instead of the late shift, and you can celebrate your evening off at a similar time.

Or you might have to change your employer – in many cases you’ll even get the same or even higher pay for fewer hours. You’ll be surprised.

Whatever your solution should be, it’s fundamental that you respect your conditions of your (new) employer while sharing why you want to work which way.

So, in order to stay happy in the long run, it is better for you to create a win-win situation from which you both benefit.

Scenario #2: Feeling alone in a long-distance relationship

You meet each other, go on fantastic dates, fall in love, have hot sex, decide to start a relationship and then it happens…

…one of you has to move – far away.


  • Temporarily due to a company project, a year abroad or a semester program
  • Or ‘until further notice’ because he/she has found a better job, etc.


Compared to scenario #1, you’ll see each other even less often.

How the hell are you supposed to continue your relationship anyway?

I’ll tell you:

In this article I have written down my best tips for a fulfilling long-distance relationship, with which I have already been able to help countless men. < online soon

A guide which is fool-proof.

Have fun with it!

Reason #2: Your Bonnie is turning away from you

At the beginning of your relationship you were on cloud nine.

She couldn’t live without you and you couldn’t live without her.

She kept giving you that look, with eyes that sparkled more than any LED superball on the planet.

She snuggled up to you when you watched documentaries about the reproduction of blue whales and gave you a sensual neck massage.

Together you experienced epic adventures.

But lately, there is no sign of all the magic that you felt for each other in the past.

Your madam is turning away from you.


  • Hasn’t given you that amorous look in a long time
  • Is less and less open to doing anything with you
  • Pays less attention to you
  • Gives you noticeably less affection – sex now seems like a purposeful, emotionless act and is an absolute rarity

You are officially together, possibly living together in the same apartment and yet you have never felt so lonely.

What’s the matter?

Scenario #1: She lost her attraction for you

People change in the course of a relationship.

They discover new interests, set themselves other goals and find their way to other visions.

A match can quickly turn into a mismatch.

A woman, who is becoming more and more comfortable with the idea of starting a family, doesn’t want to spend the rest of her life with a malaka abhorring children.

>> How to Get Women (Think About You Continuously) – 7 Tips.

It’s only for their different perspectives that one cannot condemn the two or blame someone for the increasing ‘relationship incompatibility’.

They simply live apart through new goals.

There’s nothing wrong with it.

However, in 90% of cases a woman doesn’t turn away from a man because he has more exotic visions.


Rather, she does so because her former lover has mutated into a pathetic wimp.

An initially confident, proactive man who lived for his passions…

… became an effeminate pile of mud, which behaves clingy and lost his masculinity.

How about you?

Are you still the man your mademoiselle once fell in love with, or just a vestigial version of him?

Grab a list, tighten your gray cells and write down exactly how you would describe your past self at the beginning of your dating phase…

…and compare it to your present self.


  • You knew exactly what you had to do to turn her on
  • You used to show her several facets of you
  • You invited her on dynamic dates at the beginning
  • You used to not be available 24/7 for her because you also had other goals that you were pursuing (maybe you were determined to reach your next step of the career ladder)
  • You’ve been going to the gym regularly to steel your body
  • And the list goes on…

As soon as you become aware of negative developments, you can proactively change them and not only bring your chosen one back under your spell.


You can even find back to your former strength.

>> 7 Ways to Be More Masculine: Feel Great and More Attractive.

Scenario #2: She has fallen in love with someone else

Most relationships quickly lose their luster.


Because countless men allow their relationship to become more predictable than the storyline of any Fast & Furious movie.

And before they know it, it happens:

Her beloved falls in love with a man who offers her more aliveness or cheats on you.

Perfectly justified.

However, most men aren’t aware that they can easily avoid this dilemma.


By consistently giving their relationship a powerful portion of spiciness.

Luckily, I’ve already written this eye-opening article for you.

May the force be with you!

Reason #3: You manipulate yourself

In the presence of your señorita, something perhaps inexplicable happens to you:

Your brain switches to block mode.

In this state, you judge every single thought of yours and are afraid to reveal them to your chica bonita.

You’re afraid to be yourself…

…and don’t dare

  • To present your nerdiest facets
  • To share your wishes with her
  • To show your feelings

You start to feel lonely.

After all, only a superficial and inauthentic version of yourself is with your lady, of whom you are not ashamed.

It escapes your notice that your relationship, in the long run, is coming to an unstoppable end this way…


Because your mademoiselle…

  • Feels that you are distancing yourself from her in some way or hiding something from her (women have a sixth sense for this)
  • Becomes more and more frustrated with the way she has to deal with you, because you don’t tell her and hide your toxic thoughts from her

…until she finally breaks up with you

”I see, Dan. I suppose that in this case, like reason #1, I should communicate more with my chosen one…

But why the hell can the brain block one like that and sabotage your love life?”

Firstly: That’s right, brochacho!

Secondly, because of one of these two scenarios…

>> 15 Hotspots to Meet Women Near You that Are 100% Your Type.

Scenario #1: You have traumatic experiences

No matter if…

  • You grew up in a home where your mother and father fought constantly or even separated dramatically
  • You were hurt in your last relationship because your former flame
    • Cheated on you
    • Fell in love with someone else and then broke up with you
    • Was manipulative and shamelessly exploited you

In all cases, your subconscious has taken the following conclusion for itself:

“I never want to experience that again.”

So here’s what it does:

It concludes that you SHOULDN’T open yourself emotionally to any lady ever again.

After all, you were rejected coldly the last time you did that.

How your walnut-like thinking apparatus does that?

By lying out all your negative experiences in a loop, as soon as you want to open up to a ma’am.

“Yo, if you make yourself vulnerable to her, you might get turned down again.

A rejection for being who you are – that’s what you’ll get. So, you better put on a mask! Because that way you can’t be rejected for who you really are.”

But that way you hatch an egg that you never intended to lay:

Fear of commitment.

The fear of getting involved with a woman.

If you give in to it, you will only sabotage yourself and remain trapped in a hell of loneliness…

… because you’re paranoid about getting rejected again if you act REAL to a lady.

But don’t worry, amigo, if you are a victim of this fear:

For this I have already written you this step-by-step-guide, in which I show you exactly how to kick your fear of commitment in the ass.

Scenario #2: You suffer from inferiority complexes

  • ‘I don’t really deserve her after all.’
  • ‘What if one day I’m no longer good enough for her?’
  • ‘She’ll probably leave me soon anyway for someone better-looking / earning more money than me or having a better reputation…’


These thoughts are absolute bullshit.

They don’t help you in any way to have a happy relationship.

Listen, bro.

You have a choice:

Either you can believe some bullshit thought…

…or you create strong beliefs that will help you immensely in your life.

After all, in the end, both options are one:

Self-fulfilling prophecies.

The more convinced you are of your thoughts, the more likely you are to act on them.

And if you constantly hold on to the fact that your chica will soon find someone better than you, I probably don’t need to explain to you what will happen soon.

Eventually you adjust your attitude to your thoughts and begin to behave as if you were already separated.


You want to know how to break this vicious circle?

Then I have something for you.

Good guess.

An article about how to overcome your inferiority complexes.

You can find it here.

Goodbye, loneliness!

Ok, amigo.

Now you know the reasons why you can feel lonely in a relationship.

And you know the Molotov cocktail with which you can destroy your ‘forever alone Vibes’.

In summary, you are now aware that a fulfilling relationship consists of three fundamental components:

  1. Open communication: You share your emotions, passions, fears, dreams and visions UNFILTERED
  2. Full commitment: You work hard for each other and bring a fresh breeze into your relationship through variety
  3. Attraction: You seduce your partner to stay on cloud nine

Especially no. 3 seems to be completely forgotten by most men as soon as they enter a relationship.

They get to know their flame, seduce her, go on memorable dates with her, perform passionate coitus…

… and as soon as their relationship status on Facebook is updated to ‘in a relationship’, they stop.

A fatal decision.

In the time that follows, her partner gets a raw deal and leaves her faster than the German national soccer team was eliminated at the 2018 World Cup in Russia…

However, this wouldn’t be an AttractionGym article, if I wouldn’t show you in the precision of a surgeon how to prevent that.

And how you can seduce your lady properly, so that she fights to not lose you.

For this I have compiled the Transformation Kit for you.

A free download with my best advice. Containing conversation techniques to always induce flirty conversations. Texting tips so that even when you’re not together you can feel connected. And ‘the way of the man’, how you can regain your masculinity which she fell for when you met.

Are you ready to take your love life to the next level?

Get your Transformation Kit here.

Have fun with it!

Your bro,
Dan de Ram

Stop awkward conversations
and painful rejections

My free Transformation Kit will make you irresistible to women.

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  • 5 Date Generating Texting Tips (Plus Copy-Paste Lines for Tinder)
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