15 Top Female Secrets Women Do ‘NOT’ Want You To Know

female secrets

As you become better at attracting women, you’ll discover an important lesson along the way:

There are female attraction secrets they don’t want you to know.

Today we unravel the most common secrets of women.

In this article you will learn:

  • 15 Top female secrets that women would prefer to keep hidden from you
  • Most important things Average Andy will never find out about a woman
  • Secret women code words women use (yes, they really do this)
  • Why many women don’t want a knight in shining armor (even though they say they do)
  • And many more secrets of the opposite sex…

By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?

You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.

Women: The great mystery…

In the past, way before my career as a dating coach, I understood absolutely nothing about women.

As a young kid in secondary school, I tried to impress girls with sweet and kind behavior…

The result?

They thanked me kindly and then eventually went off with some guy who had a much bigger mouth than me.

(If you want to know why women are attracted to guys with big mouths, read this article carefully).

Luckily, as I got better and better at communicating with women, I realized the following:

Seducing women is a skill that you can train.

Just like any other skill, you can actually get better at seducing women, providing you put in enough practice.

(In contrast with the average man who thinks you’re only good with women if you’re born with a talent for it).

By becoming better and better and having different experiences with many ladies, I learned more and more about women…

In the end I discovered that women have femalemindsecrets that they prefer to keep hidden from us men.

I discovered the most interesting, bizarre and dirty secrets that women had.

To help you understand women better, today I’m going to share the most juicy womensecrets with you.

I discovered these myself through my own experiences, the countless conversations I’ve had with women throughout my life and the knowledge I’ve gained as a dating coach at AttractionGym.

In a different branch of the business, we coach women with their love life too…

In short:

If you want to discover which juicy secrets women are trying to keep hidden from you, then you’ve come to the right place.

The truth is out there…

And you’ll find the “truth” in this article today in the form of a whopping 15 secrets of women.

Let’s start with womensecret number one.

Secret #1: Women have a code language

Yep, women have a special language that us men don’t understand.

A good example of this was shown at the latest Seduction Cinema event.

Seduction Cinema is an event that’s run by AttractionGym in which show footage of our coaches live and show and tell you exactly how they interact up women.

One of the videos shows how Mathijs seduces a gorgeous girl at a club.

While Mathijs and this beauty are laughing and chatting together, suddenly a friend of this lady mixes herself in the conversation.


Asked the friend of the girl Mathijs was chatting up.

“No!” answered the girl… after which the friend leaves the conversation again.

All men who saw this footage were bewildered.

It is of course very random:

Mathijs is chatting up a cute girl, her friend suddenly asks “Kangaroo?”, the answer is “no” and the friend leaves…

But in the end this “kangaroo” interruption is not as random as it seems…

“Kangaroo” was code language for “do you need me to save you from this man?”

Because girlfriends look out for each other (more about this later on).

That’s why women make up code words they use when one of their friends needs to be “saved” from an annoying man.

Women use this kind of code language in countless situations…

The reason why this code language works so well, is that most men don’t know that women use these techniques, let alone what the code words mean.

Luckily, you are now in the know, dear reader.

So: if you’re talking with a cute lady and she suddenly says something, weird and random to her friend…

… you are safe to assume that’s something they’re keeping secret from you.

Secret #2: What she says is not always what she means

She mumbles “We really shouldn’t do this”, while I open the door of my house.

Even though she says this really shouldn’t be happening, her behavior is clearly saying something different.

She’s been rubbing up against me all evening and her breathing is heavy from the excitement.

I know that this is what she wants.

When you gain a lot of experience with women, it becomes easier and easier to tell whether a woman is really saying what she means or not…

Because often… what she says, is not what she means.

Pro tip:

A woman can also be testing you. This is another example we wrote an article about of when a woman’s words and actions say different things.

Once you become better at seducing women, it’s definitely worth the read.

The reason for this is because the female brain is wired differently than the male brain.

Here’s what’s up:

The male brain works rationally and has a strong focus on logic.

A man prefers to convey a message as short, clear, and direct as possible.

In contrast, the female brain functions more emotionally.

The female brain is focused on feelings and emotions.

This difference in communication is joked about by the famous marriage expert Mark Gungor:

Even though we can all have a big laugh about these differences in communication, they do cause a lot of misery on a regular basis.

One of the biggest reasons for men being hopeless with women is because they think that the female brain works the same as the male brain.

Therefore, the Average Andy tries to convince a woman to sleep with him using logic.

But a woman doesn’t want to hear logic. She wants to feel emotions.

The more strong and varying emotions she feels with you, the greater the chance that she’s going to feel attracted to you.

(If you want to know more about this, then read this article about what women want).

Pay attention though:

Sometimes the “logical” part of her brain will be activated.

This happened in the example I gave above.

She said that it wasn’t a good idea to sleep with me (logic: she thinks it’s too soon, her friends might criticize her for that) but her emotions get the upper hand in the end (which caused her to be so aroused that she slept with me after all).

So remember that women sometimes say something that they don’t always mean exactly. This is because of the conflict between her emotions and logic.

But note:

Sometimes no really means no. NEVER become pushy or rude.

When you have a lot of experience with women, you’ll slowly start to understand when women really want something or not.

When you don’t have so much experience you’ll have to pay closer attention to all her signals.

If she really says no, then sometimes it’s a definite no.

In that case, give her some space, create a relaxed vibe and try again later.

Secret #3: She doesn’t need a knight in shining armor

This female secret also has to do with the fact that women don’t always say what they truly mean.


When you ask a woman what she wants to have in a potential partner, she’ll often come up with quite the list:

  • He needs to be handsome.
  • He needs to be smart
  • He needs to have a good sense of humor.
  • He needs to have a good job.
  • He needs to be a good cook.
  • He needs to be attentive.
  • He needs to be Mr. Perfect.
  • And so forth…

But don’t worry.

You don’t have to be Mr. Perfect.

I’m sure you’ve seen an absolute stunner walking with a guy who looks like Kermit the Frog.

This was absolutely one of the women who said she was looking for a man who’s totally perfect…

But in the end she’ll also settle for Kermit.


Many men think that you can only have success with women if you look like Ryan Gosling.

But nothing could be further from the truth.

As long as a man possesses the specific, attractive masculine properties, she will fall for that man.

But then, of course, the big question is… what are the female attraction secrets?

In this article, you will learn the 10 masculine properties that will have women falling for you

If this guy can do it:

… then so can you!

Secret #4: She enjoys sex more than you

“Men are always after sex.”
– F
requently stated by women all over the world.

I don’t deny that we men are sexual beings, but you can rest assured that women are just as sexual, if not more so.

I’ve met women who, from the outside, seemed like sweet, good girls…

… but as soon as they entered the bedroom… they seemed to transform into penis-obsessed sex monsters.

As I’ve said before:

She may be a princess on the streets, but a freak in the sheets.

Listen up, partner,

Women absolutely love sex.

You can see that women love sex when you have really good sex with a woman.

This point is also made well by comedian Louis CK:

Where a man makes a few grunting sounds, some women let themselves go completely.

They close their eyes, let their bodies go fully and start to scream with pleasure…

… providing you do a good job, of course.

The greatest problem is that many men have no idea what they’re doing when it comes to sex.

Many men want to have sex, but kind of suck at it (no pun intended) when push comes to shove.

For this reason, many women feel misunderstood and not satisfied, after which they’ll say things like ‘men only want sex’.

But if you know how to fully please a woman in bed…

… then you can turn even the cutest, most innocent girl into a sex bomb.

If you want to know how to make a women obsessed in sex with you, then read this article:

>> How to Please a Woman in Bed (Step-by-Step Guide)

Secret #5: Women bring each other down

I remember taking a woman home from a club back when I lived in the Hague.

We were supposedly going to make a nightly stroll along the beach (even though we both knew all too well the beach was miles away from the club)…

We took our “beach walk” through the cemented streets of the Hague, slowly making our way to my house.

“What are we going to do?” she asked curiously when I put my key in the lock.

She was new in The Hague.

So I told her this:

“Oh, you know what’s so cool about the Hague? There are these cool doors that are like crazy portals. If you walk through one of those doors, you come out on a completely different side of the city!”

She responded:

“Haha, so cool!” and followed me into my home.

You need to know this:

This woman was not dumb.

She had come from Russia to the Netherlands to study International Affairs at the University.

But still, she walks through the door of my home after I tell her a bullshit story about cool door portals, as if the Hague is some kind of science fiction city.

The reason she did this is simple:

She doesn’t want to be a slut.

Here’s the deal:

If you ask a woman you don’t know about sex, she’ll not respond positively in most cases.

And that’s logical: she doesn’t know you and she doesn’t want to be a slut.

Because if she simply agrees to an offer like that and gets into bed with you, she’ll have a lot to explain to her friends.

Her friends (and society) will label her as “easy” or “a slut”.

Slutshaming is horrible, but even today, it’s very common amongst women.

More still: according to research in this TIME article, women slut shame each other at least as often as men do.

Because women don’t want to seem “too easy”, they probably won’t want to go home with you purely to sleep with you.

In the story above, this woman could still always say to her friends:

“Oh he told me some crazy story about door portals and then we were suddenly in his house. It just happened.”

And that’s exactly what she wants.

A woman wants to feel like the sex “just happened” (even if it was already totally obvious that it’s going to go down).

This is purely to protect themselves against slutshaming.

In many female groups, that one girl who has a lot of one night stands is often looked upon with suspicion…

This is a shame, but unfortunately it’s just how it is.

So don’t become angry or frustrated if a woman won’t (immediately) sleep with you…

… because there are many (hidden) pairs of eyes who are judging them.

Secret #6: You aren’t her only one


You’ve been dating a nice woman for a while…

You share beautiful moments together, you go on awesome dates and it seems like what you’ve built up with her is truly unique…

Well… think again.

Chances are quite high that she’s seeing a number of other men.


Especially if you’re in the (early) dating phase with a woman, then I think the chances are small that you’re the only guy she’s seeing…

… especially if she’s a gorgeous woman.

And this isn’t so crazy.

Let’s face it; she’s hot.

This means that she’s desired by countless men and she has a lot of choice when it comes to other men.

Just for a laugh, have a go at swiping on the Tinder account of a hot woman…

You’ll see that pretty much everything you swipe right is a match.

In other words: there’s plenty of competition, mate.

Of course, this doesn’t mean you should start to panic.

As an attractive man you’re not dependent on one specific woman.

You also have the right to date multiple women simultaneously.

I’d even highly recommend this to you. Because an attractive man lives in abundance.

Do you want to know more about how to build up a harem of multiple fuckbuddies?

Then read this article.

Secret #7: She won’t tell you her criticism

She looks at you straight in the eye…

She tells you what an amazing guy you are…

But behind your back…

Her friends get to hear a completely different side of the story.

“He never listens to me.”

“He’s not so good in bed.”

“He doesn’t seem to understand me.”

These are just a handful of statements that women throw out when they’re amongst their girlfriends talking about a guy.

The Average Joe will now think:

“Yes but isn’t it very mean and unfair that women do this?!”

Listen bro,

  • First of all, us men do that too. You can’t deny that.
  • Second, women don’t want to hurt us.

So for that reason they will keep their comments about how you suck in bed (unfortunately not literally) to themselves…

But her friends?

They receive a full report.

Pay attention:

Even over text, you’re not safe.

Actually: especially over text you’re not safe.

When you say something stupid to her on WhatsApp for example, she’ll screenshot that shit and forward it to her homegirls faster than Usain Bolt can run.

So pay attention to what you say over text.

If you’re looking for tips for flirting on WhatsApp I recommend you check out this article:

>> The 9 Keys to WhatsApp Flirting + Easily Stealable Texts

Secret #8: She knows she’s hot

Say hello to Cindy:

As you can see, Cindy is f*cking hot.

And you’re not the only one who knows this.

Because Cindy knows she’s hot too.

And she’ll absolutely take advantage of that face…

Women like Cindy are told they’re hot often, starting in their teenage years.

Many men do their best to impress them and get their attention…

… and you can bet that she enjoys this.

I know women who go out for free every Saturday night, because they KNOW they’re hot.

With this power they can control any man.

These men will happily buy them drinks…

But at the end of the night they’ll take off with another man.

(Often a man who knows how to flirt and tease. This man is not immediately sold on the looks of the women, but challenges her to see if she’s a match for him.)

Important Bro Tip:

never let a woman use you.

Especially if she knows she’s pretty.

It can save you a lot of time and wasted energy.

Secret #9: She doesn’t know she’s pretty

“Huh? But you just told me they DO know they’re pretty, Dan!”

Yep, that’s right.

Women know they’re pretty…

But more often than not, beautiful women are also insecure about their bodies… often about specific parts of their bodies.

For example, I’ve dated a woman who is a model, but always looks at her own photos critically.

What’s the reason for this?

She’s insecure about the size of her nose.

This woman’s nose looks absolutely fine.

What’s more: most men would probably be looking at her body before they see her nose.

But even still, she’s insecure about this part of her body.

So remember this:

Yes, women know they’re pretty…

Yes, they’ll make use of this fact…

BUT there’s often a specific part of their body that makes them very insecure.

You can use this to your advantage when you’re seducing beautiful women.

The fact that women are also insecure often helps men to put their own insecurities into perspective.

(Beautiful) women are just human.

This brings us to the next womensecret…

Secret #10: She also farts

A few years ago I dated a gorgeous girl…

She was the type of woman that could seem quite intimidating in the context of a club.

Beautiful body. Pretty face. Scantily clad.

I remember walking the streets of London with her and walking past a group of construction workers and seeing them unabashedly staring at her ass.

What those construction workers didn’t know is that this woman also had another side…

A side that only came out when she had free time and there were no other people present.

When she was at home and went into chill mode, she put on her jogging pants, took off her make-up and stretched out on the couch to watch TV.

And yes: She’d often start farting.

And her behavior would go from sweet and feminine to sometimes plain rude and manly.

Some people say that beautiful women don’t poop.

But they really do poop…

It stinks and it’s dirty.

Why am I telling you this?

Because all women are only human in the end.

The hottest chick in the club has an unattractive side that she’s able to disguise for that evening.

But you know better.

Remember this well for when you’re chatting with a hot woman, dear reader.

She’s not special. She’s just as human as you are.

Secret #11: She doesn’t want a sweet man

You hear women saying it all the time:

“I just want a man who’s sweet.”


She’s lying to herself.

Well, at least…

She doesn’t want a man who’s only sweet


Fairytales and Hollywood brainwash us with the idea that women always want a man who’s sweet and friendly.

(That’s why nice guy Peter Parker is supposedly able to get a catch like Mary Jane).

But reality is different…

Women don’t want a man who’s purely sweet.

“But Dan, I really don’t want to become an asshole!”

You don’t have to.

Because women also don’t want an asshole.

A woman wants a masculine and cool man who’s a leader and can also be sweet.

The reason why bad boys are so attractive is because they are willing to challenge a woman.

They’re not just sweet, so it remains a mystery whether the man really likes her or not.

So the woman will feel different (conflicting) emotions towards you.

And as you now know, it’s those emotions that she wants to feel.

So, starting from today, it’s time to kill your inner nice guy and become a man who will challenge her.

It’s time to transform from her “guy friend” to an “attractive alpha man”.

In this article, you will read about the 7 must-have properties of an alpha man.

Secret #12: Her friends will always come first

In female secret 7 you learned that women share everything with their friends…

But the bond between friends goes much further than that…

Women will walk through fire for one another

Yes, women sometimes bring each other down. But they are there for each other at any time of day or night.

This is important for you to know.

Because I often see men standing in the club, chatting up a hot woman, only to have her be pulled away by her friends.

Most men say or think something like:

“F*ck, it was going so well and now her bitchy friends just pulled her away from me. WTF?!”

But look:

It didn’t have to happen that way.

The mistake that many men make is that they don’t befriend the friends of the woman they’re trying to seduce.

Even worse:

The man often only pays attention to the prettiest girl and completely ignores her friends.

Is this a good idea?

Absolutely not.

As soon as the friends feel ignored or they suspect that their best friend is being seduced by some kind of creep…

… then they will immediately perform a rescue operation to take her away from you.

Women constantly keep an eye on each other. They even go to the f*cking toilet together.

Sometimes they are simply inseparable.

So if you know how to befriend the woman’s friends, then chatting up women will become a lot easier.

Secret #13: Too much romance is creepy as f*ck


Another Hollywood / fairytale myth:

Women love romance.

Admittedly, many women think a little romance is fun and sweet.

But too much romance…

That’s no good kid.

Too much romance is needy and not masculine.

It’s fine to sometimes make a romantic gesture…

If you organize a romantic dinner for a woman you’ve been dating for a while, it will definitely score you points…

But to do this every day?

Then this will start to work against you.

Also, if you become romantic too early, you can easily go into the danger zone.

The more romance, the stronger her feeling that you want something from her…

And the more she feels that you want something from her, the smaller the chances that you’ll actually get into a relationship with her.

So use romance sparingly.

Secret #14: Women wear social masks

Research has shown that women generally have a lot more emotional intelligence than men.

While little boys are busy drowning and burning insects, girls are doing more social things.

Women are generally better at social interactions, and better at anticipating and responding to facial expressions and emotions than others.

This means that women put on different social masks.

Because they are so socially intelligent, they can pretend they like someone a lot…

But behind their back?

They might actually hate them.

But no worries,

I’m not telling you that you need to become completely paranoid about what women are thinking of you.

But understand that when women say they like you, they might mean something completely different.

But luckily the opposite is also true:

Women who say they don’t like you sometimes actually do like you.

By the way, do you want to know for sure whether a woman likes you?

Then check out this article:

>> 27 Subtle Flirting Signs from a Woman You MUST Recognize

Secret #15: Women WANT to be approached

This female secret was nicely demonstrated during last month’s bootcamp.

I was walking through Amsterdam Central Station with two participants.

Our eyes fell on two blonde ladies who were chatting with each other.

“Go talk to them” I said enthusiastically to one of the two participants.

“But… they’re deep in conversation with each other… won’t I be interrupting them? Are you sure it’s a good idea to approach them?”

My answer was short and clear:

“Yes. Just go talk to them.”

After a small pep talk, he walked towards the two ladies.

The conversation looked absolutely brilliant.

And damn… the woman he complimented looked stunning.

They exchanged numbers.

Further along, we saw the two girls literally jump in the air with joy.

And it really is something to celebrate: a complete stranger has the guts to come up and talk to you and brighten up your day with a compliment.

And this is exactly what women want men to know:

Women like being approached

There’s a reason that women work so hard to look good.

When you approach an unknown woman on the streets, you’re putting a pause on her (boring) daily life and making her day 1000 times better.

“But Dan, sometimes women don’t like it when I approach them…”

Of course.

There are exceptions.

Some women are busy or simply don’t feel like chatting.

No big deal, it happens.

And sometimes…

It can have to do with how you approach her. Your technique.

The secret to approaching women

Because the better you become at approaching women, the more you will see how much women enjoy it when you do so.

To help you improve your approaching skills, I have something amazing for you:

In the free Transformation Kit, you’ll find a template to approach any woman at any moment.

In this same kit, you’ll also find WhatsApp tips, Tinder tips and a number of other techniques and lines to make sure you can live the life of a rock star… who can seduce any woman he pleases.

You can download the pack by clicking the link below.

Have fun with it, bro!

Your Women Whisperer, Dan de Ram

Stop awkward conversations
and painful rejections

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