Ultimate First Date Guide for Men (21 Tips That Work)

first date

Welcome to the Ultimate First Date Guide!

I’m a dating coach who’s been on over 500 dates. Some may find that cool, some may find that pathetic. Whatever your opinion, being on 500 dates has taught me a whole lot—and I’m about to share that knowledge with you.

In this article, I’ll give you 21 first date tips for men to make your first date bulletproof.

  • First, we’ll start with the foundation: how to ask her out and how to choose a venue
  • Next, I’ll give you crucial tips on what NOT to do on a first date. Followed by tips that DO work
  • Lastly, we’ll discuss how you can get the most out of your date. And at minimum a kiss
  • Bonus: what to text after the first date when you want that second date guaranteed

Table of contents:

  1. Asking her out the right way
  2. Location: the best and most original first date ideas
  3. What a girl looks for in a guy on the first date
  4. First date etiquette
  5. Going all-in
  6. Being Ditto
  7. No kiss on first date
  8. Doing what every guy does
  9. Conquer the first five minutes
  10. Position yourself wisely
  11. The golden first date tip
  12. First impression on the first date
  13. The three best first date conversation topics
  14. What to talk about on a first date
  15. Talk travel
  16. Always know your competition
  17. Share your most epic stories
  18. How to kiss on first date
  19. How to take her home
  20. Sex on the first date
  21. Preparing for your date
    Bonus: Texting after the first date

Let’s dive into this Complete First Date Tips for Men Guide

By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?

You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.

Tip #1:  Asking her out the right way

A Tinder match is no guarantee you’ll get her onto a date, especially if you ask her out like this:

I would like to take you out. When are you available?

Don’t see the harm?

Let’s try a slightly worse line:

Hey, want to grab drinks sometime?

Do you now see what’s wrong?


Let me explain.

  • The invitation doesn’t really trigger any emotions (besides the small boost in endorphins she gets from being wanted)
  • The invitation shows you’re insecure. Why else would you frame the invite as a question?
  • And worst of all, the invitation dumps the responsibility on her. Now she decides whether the date happens or not

Before the social justice warriors blow up my inbox with #metoo messages, here comes a much needed nuance.

Obviously she has a choice in whether she goes out with you.

My point is this:

If you’re not already convinced she wants to go out with you before you ask her, you’ve done a poor job of being fun.

The main reason why I NEVER ask girls out with an insecure question mark, is because all her “hahahahas” and emojis show me that she enjoys my texts.

If she enjoys my texts, she’ll also enjoy my company.

That’s why most of my date invitations look a little like this:

Let’s visit that awesome smoothie place I mentioned. Wednesday and Thursday work for me.

I know she likes smoothies. I know she likes me (on a superficial level). Why be so tentative and careful?

Ask her out with confidence.

Of course, sometimes it can be tricky to know for sure if a girl likes you, especially over text.

In this case, I recommend you check out this article:

>> 15 Subtle Signs How to Tell if a Girl Likes You Over Text / Tinder / WhatsApp / Messenger

Tip #2: Location: the best first date ideas

Dating and real-estate are not that different.

Both revolve around the same thing…

Location, location, location.

Said differently, location is your #1 wingman. And the third player on your date.

Where you take your date determines the atmosphere of the evening.

So the all-important question becomes:

What kind of vibe do you want to create?

Do you want to make her your girlfriend? Shoot for romantic. Like a stroll down the beach at nightfall, where you can hold hands while the amber glow of the sun disappears down the horizon.

Are you open for anything? Then relaxed seems like a good fit. Perhaps a trip to a city-sponsored festival.

Do you simply want to get down and dirty? Aim for physical and spicy. I recommend a cocktail bar with live music where you can dance together.

For more vibes and atmospheres, look at the list below.

At this moment in time, the list might not yet contain what you’re looking for. However, I will keep updating this list. And if you have any special requests, leave it in the comments below the article, or send me an email.

-> 35 Exciting Date Ideas

-> ‘Netflix and Chill’ Date guide 

-> 10 Romantic Date Ideas

-> 11 Rainy Day Date Ideas

-> Cooking Date guide

-> 7 Date-At-Home Ideas

-> 11 Date Night Ideas

-> Second Date Guide

Are you already set on the location of your date? I’ve created multiple guides for best first date activities in different cities:

-> 15 Oklahoma City Date Ideas

-> 28 New York City Date Ideas

-> 19 Amsterdam Date Ideas

Tip #3: A girl’s first date checklist

If you’re like most men, you don’t know what a woman wants from a first date.

Sure, you may have a general idea. Like:

  • Be attractive
  • Be funny
  • Be smart.

But these concepts give little to no guidance.

Before I tell you what women want from men, let me quickly break down the first date to its most simple elements.

At its most basic, a first date is a window into your life.

During the few hours you spend together, she’s only thinking one thing:

“So this is what he’s like. Do I want more or not?”

Although no woman is alike, women do look for specific traits in their sexual or romantic partners.

Roughly speaking, every woman wants:

  • A leader. He trusts himself enough to make choices for others
  • A man with options. If you get no attention from other women, she automatically distrusts you
  • A man with a plan. If you have no clear direction in life, she thinks you’re lost
  • A man who goes after what he wants. If you’re afraid to touch her during the date, she’ll label you a coward
  • A man she can’t easily influence. Every woman wants a rock to cling to when her world is thrown upside down

Keep in mind this is not an exhaustive list of what women find attractive in men. Here’s one:

>> What Makes Women Attracted to Men? 11 Irresistible Qualities

What NO woman is looking for on a first date:

  • A man pal to babble and gossip about work and hobbies
  • A dancing monkey who continuously tries to make her laugh
  • An insecure dude who tries to win her over with his career, wealth and success


With the above in mind, you should have a pretty clear picture of what an attractive man is.

But how do you become that guy?

I created a toolkit to help you do this. It’s called the Transformation Kit.

It teaches you everything you need to know on how to become more attractive.

Get it here, it’s free!

Now, let’s move onto the four greatest first dating mistakes.

Because this guide wouldn’t be complete without first date tips for men to avoid the biggest mistakes.

Tip #4: The 4 greatest attraction killers on the first date

First date etiquette.

Do you ever have that feeling that school hasn’t really taught you what you need to know in life?

Pythagorean theorem is nice and all, but what about life skills?

What about, for instance:

If schools tested us on these skills, most men would get a big fat F.

And that’s a shame.

No wonder women so often complain about first dates. Most men create dates that are worse than a cross-continental flight next to a crying baby.

No worries, bro.

If you avoid the next four attraction killers, your dates will be as comfortable as a flight on Air Force One.

Tip #5: Going all-in

“Hey,” she says after she shows up fashionably late.

You smile nervously and walk towards her, wondering whether you should shake her hand, give her a hug, or kiss her on the cheek.

I obviously won’t write out the entire date of the Average Joe. But if you’re like most men, I suspect your dates look similar to this:

  1. You take her inside the restaurant and sit across from each her.
  2. You ask her how her day was.
  3. You order drinks.
  4. You fire some questions about work or school.
  5. You order some food.
  6. You interrogate her about her interests and hobbies.
  7. You order more drinks.
  8. You quiz her about her last holiday.
  9. The conversations stalls and you think to yourself:

“Hmm, is the food coming yet?”

She stares into the room with a bored look on her face. And you think to yourself:

“Shit, this isn’t going anywhere.”

Before you know it, it’s time to pay the bill.

After spending roughly two hours together, you had perhaps a couple of shared interests, but no real connection.

You eventually say your goodbyes and the next day you receive a text, saying:

“I had a good time, but I didn’t feel any sparks. Sorry.”

The worst mistake of the entire evening?

Going all-in.

In short, your investment in the date is too high.

In detail:

  • Your dates consume a lot of time. A trip to a restaurant easily takes 2 – 3 hours
  • Your dates cost a lot of money
  • Your dates eat up fun. Visit a restaurant and you’re basically forced to sit still and listen to each other like it’s a job interview

Tip #6: Don’t do a Ditto

Being Ditto sounds like a positive, after all, he can change into any shape he wants and is always smiling

But being Ditto also means to be a spineless pink turd.

Most guys act like Ditto.

  • They adjust their opinions to what they think women want to hear
  • They say what’s supposedly the ‘right’ thing, not what they say when they’re with their friends

You don’t want to be Ditto —not even if you’re into dark-skinned women with a cone figure.

Because no one wants to be around a guy who’s constantly adjusting his personality.

Pro tip:

It’s completely normal to sand off the rough edges of your normal vocabulary.

The language my friends and I use around each other is… explicit. And is often inappropriate when there’s a woman around.

The same goes for your sense of humor.

Mine can be pretty on the edge. So on a first date, I’ll dial back my politically incorrect jokes to a couple.

Just make sure to never censor yourself entirely.

Otherwise, you may end up dating a girl who doesn’t share your sense of humor. And who ultimately isn’t a match.

So when I jokingly tell my date we’ll name our first baby after some random dictator of choice, it acts as a filter.

And resulted in this hilarious WhatsApp conversation the next day:

Tip #7: Wasting opportunity

I can test your dating skills with a simple question:

“Should you kiss her on the first date?”

The answer is always a roaring… YES!

A kiss says more than a thousand words.

The reason a kiss is so important, is because of 3 things:

  • It shows courage
  • It shows interest, and
  • If she kisses you back, you’ll know she likes you

Hell, I would even argue that it’s part of the first date etiquette

Once my clients know locking lips is a must, they almost always ask me:

“Dan, how long should the kiss last?”

There’s no hard rule, but my first kiss rarely lasts longer than 30 seconds. And to be fair, even a few seconds is enough.

The most important thing is that you press your lips against hers.

Girls seriously appreciate a man who dares to make the first move. Some women have flat-out told me:

“It’s such a turnoff when a guy who clearly likes me doesn’t try to go for the kiss.”

As you may know from your own experience,  many guys are scared shitless to make a move.

But I need you guys to realize… kissing is no big deal!

I will share how to get that first kiss later in this article.

Although kissing is no big deal, a full-on make-out session in broad daylight may feel a bit awkward.

So if you can, try to plan your date in the evening.

People naturally associate daytime with work, whereas nighttime is usually more romantic and adventurous.

So to kiss after a lunch date feels more “out of place” than after you meet her at night in a bar.

That said, a daytime kiss is far from impossible.

At the very least, give her a quick peck on the lips.

Of course, you want to be a good kisser.

So how do you go about kissing the right way?

Check out this article to find out:

>> 7 Kissing Tips and Techniques to Become an Amazing Kisser

More on that later in this article too.

Tip #8: Everybody is doing it

Would you ask Eminem for salsa classes? Or ask Max Verstappen for advice on your taxes?


Neither would I. But if they were to give a workshop in rapping or racing, I’d be the first in line.

The same goes for dating:

Don’t take dating advice from the average doofus, but get your information from a successful pro.

But hey, you’re reading my article, so you clearly knew this already.

Younger me, however, did not.

I have a history of getting information from the wrong people.

At the time of my first date, my best friend/virgin power geek told me a movie date was a great idea.

So I took my date to the cinema where we talked a few minutes before the movie started.

The movie I took her to?

Texas Chainsaw Massacre, about a dude using his chainsaw in some pretty creative ways.

What we did?

We silently sat next to each other, while I was racking my brain about whether or not I should put my arm around her.

She had to leave right after the movie. And although I treated her like she had the plague for most of the date, I tried to kiss her goodbye. Which turned into an awkward hug.

I later texted her:

“I had a great time. Did you get home okay?”

She never replied. I still wonder why…

After the failure of the first date, I stopped listening to my friend for dating advice and turned to Men’s Health.

The best way to a woman’s heart was apparently a dinner date.

So I took my second date to a restaurant. Where I greeted her with a peck on the cheek.

Which she thought “went a little too far.” Even with the little experience I had, I knew I goofed.

What did the date look like?

We had food. Although she thought she was at a rap battle.

She was speaking faster than Eminem in ‘Rap God’. For the entire evening, she shot words at me like an AK-47.

After taking one too many to the chest, I ran for cover by paying the check.

I barely said goodbye. I left the battlefield without going for the ‘I kissed on a date’-medal.

So, what went wrong with my two first dates?

People who knew nothing of dating gave me horrible advice.

Movie and dinner dates are super cliché and inconvenient.

I later found out from personal experience that all my best dates shared a common pattern…

The date was dynamic and different.

Tip #9: Don’t underestimate the first five minutes

If you obsess about picking the right venue for your date, you’re worrying about the wrong thing.

Unless you get the date fundamentals right, the venue doesn’t matter.

“What the heck are first date fundamentals, Dan?”

I already hinted at the fundamentals in the last tip. One of them is…


Let’s suppose the idea is to take her out for drinks at a café.

Where do you meet?

Probably outside the café.

You then say hello, take her inside, and sit across from each other.

And that’s where you’ll stay for the next hour or two.

The problem?

  • You’re both brimming with nerves and have no way to get rid of them
  • You’re her primary source of entertainment, so it feels uncomfortable to be quiet
  • Sitting across from each other adds extra stress

Dynamics gets rid of all these problems.

Dynamics is a fancy word, but all it really means is motion.

Let me give you an example.

Imagine you met on a big square five minutes away from the café.

Once she arrives, you say hello and slowly walk her to the venue.

Pro tip:

When she’s walking towards you, don’t plant three kisses on her cheeks like you would your grandma. Or whatever your culture dictates is a ‘normal’ greeting.

Instead, go for a warm and friendly hug.

It doesn’t have to last long, but you’re setting the mood for the night. She now knows she’s going to have a good time!

Next, you casually chat about your day and walk off the nerves.

Because you’re walking next to each other, it’s not awkward to stop talking for a moment.

Plus, you’re both looking at the same environment, so you don’t have to rely on each other for entertainment. Instead, you can watch and listen to your surroundings.

By the time you reach the café, you feel familiar with your date and your nerves have been reduced to a low hum.

The moral of the story?

Meet up a 5-minute walk away from your date location.

Tip #10: Position yourself wisely

Every romantic comedy gets this wrong.

Two lovers are on a date, so the camera first pans around the café.

The next shot shows the two lovebirds sitting at a table…

Across from each other.


Sure, sometimes the venue gives you no other option.

But if the venue gives you the option to sit beside her, that’s ALWAYS the preferred situation.

Here’s why:

  • It doesn’t feel like a ‘date’. Now you’re just two people hanging out
  • It gives you room to relax. If you have two eyeballs burning into your skull, you constantly feel as if you have to be chatty and entertain
  • It allows you to touch her, which has been proven to increase mutual attraction. Now, you don’t need to wrap your arm around her. A little playful nudge also fits the bill
  • Lastly, the shared view lets you gossip about the people around you. For instance:
    “What do you think the relationship is between that man and woman? First date? Friendzone? Relationship?

The best dates don’t feel like dates.

The best dates feel like you’re old friends who haven’t seen each other for years.

So keep it chill. And keep her interested. At the same time.

Too overwhelming? No worries, I got you.

There are some easy ways to keep a girl interested before/during/after a date.

I wrote an article about it, check this out:

>> Keeping Her Interested by Being Interesting – 3 Timeless Tips

Tip #11: Keep it moving

A wise woman once said,

Don’t stop movin’. Keep it up. Keep on movin’, get it right
—Livin’ Joy

That’s more than the chorus of a 90s hit song, it’s the foundation on which all good first dates are built.

Every first date needs movement. Both physically and verbally.


Motion creates emotion.

So entering a bar and sitting still for two hours is an emotion killer. And first date sin.

If you’re static, odds are your conversation will be too.

Thankfully, a bar at least lets you talk and try to raise emotions.

Go to a cinema, however, and you’re forced to shut your mouth.

Unless the film is a nail biter, the sitting and silence will cause her emotions to drop and her attraction for you to plummet.

After all, attraction is basically a complex group of emotion.

So where do you begin to create motion?

For starters, you meet a few minutes away from your first date location.

You read that right, ‘first’ date location.

The key to creating motion is visiting several venues.

Preferably with different flavors.

For the sake of brevity, here’s a quick example of a successful and dynamic first date. In order:

  • You meet up at a local monument a stone’s throw away from the first date location, a video arcade. And walk to your destination.
  • Once you arrive, you play a game of air hockey and perhaps a game of Jenga while you also knock down a beer. Note how these are physical activities. As soon as the first round of drinks are finished, you pay the bill and leave.
  • Now you offer her your arm and take her on a romantic walk through the park on your way to the second date location, a bar. To really spark her emotions, kiss her before you even get to the bar.
  • Inside the bar, you enjoy cocktails while the two of you get close and cozy. After you knock back the drinks, you can extend the date with another location, say goodbye, or take her home.

Keep it moving, bro.

Tip #12: How to make a killer first impression

The conclusion of multiple scientific studies is scary…

A first impression is made in less than one second!

In an experiment by Willis and Todorov, a group of guinea pigs was split in two.

One group was given one-tenth of a second to judge a person’s trustworthiness and attractiveness.

The second group was given as much time as they wanted to make the same judgments.

The result?

Both groups roughly came to the same conclusions.

One-tenth of a second is all that was needed.

So do appearances matter?

Let me put it like this:

  • Appearance alone will not decide whether she sleeps with you.
  • Appearance will decide why she WON’T sleep with you.

So appearance is kinda important.

Luckily, you can improve your first impression pretty easily.

How do I know?

Because I like to ask the women I date about their turnoffs.

And they almost all complain about the same physical traits:

  • Dirty and long fingernails. If you don’t already own the equipment, buy a nail clipper and a tough brush to clean the dirt away
  • Worn out shoes. Buy a new pair by the end of this week
  • Musty clothes. Buy a better detergent or clean out your washing machine
  • Bad teeth and breath. Get an electric toothbrush and tongue scraper
  • Stray hairs. Check your nose, ears and eyebrows for any hairy “imperfections”
  • Gross and sticky hair. A bit of gel or wax is fine, but don’t look like you swam through a pool of jello
  • A general sloppy appearance. Fix your style (buying the clothes of a mannequin is honestly not a bad idea), get your 8 hours of sleep, eat a salad, and lift some weights

Despite the above, don’t obsess over your appearance.

Ultimately, confidence and charisma outshine looks.

You just want your looks to be good enough, so she gives your confidence and charisma a chance.

What’s ‘good enough’?

Here’s a complete guide on how to dress properly to be as attractive as you can:

>> 10 Tips – Dress to Impress for Men (Ladies LOVE This)

Tip #13: Conversation tips for a memorable first date

You can look like Superman, but if you talk with the charisma of Southpark’s Tweek… you’ll end up home alone.

For the first date to be a success, you must be able to have a fun conversation.

Which can be difficult, if you don’t know what to say.

Sadly, most guys have a tough time being chatty.

Most of us turn into an interrogator for the FBI.

*Shines a bright light into her face*

“Now, tell me… What do you do for a living?”

“Interesting. Did you need to study for that?”

“Okay. Was that something you always wanted to learn?”

Sure, you’re talking.

But every question you’re asking is slowly tightening the noose around her attraction for you.

Not a great strategy if you want a second date.

So what is a great first date strategy?

Prepare a few fun topics of conversation.

Here are three I recommend:

Tip #14: Talk Travel

Every woman loves to travel.

I’ve yet to meet a girl who said she didn’t.

So if the conversation stalls out, ask her:

“What’s the furthest you’ve been away from home?”

Et voila.

You’ve struck a topic that’s filled with hours of conversation and fun.

Tip #15: Always know your competition

One of the questions that I always ask on a first date:

“What’s your worst date?”

That question almost works too well.

And here’s why:

  • Her answers will be loaded with drama. Which means she’ll likely start an emotion-fueled monologue #Grabthepopcorn
  • Failure is far more exciting than even the best success story. When a fellow dating coach shares another success story about a threesome, everyone’s eyes glaze over. But as soon as somebody talks about a worst date, we almost always end up roaring of laughter
  • As she relives her worst date, she’ll realize that you’re way cooler. Suddenly you’re her Prince Charming riding in on his white horse with a show of fireworks and laser beams

Tip #16: Tell your most epic stories (with a twist)

“But Dan, I don’t have any epic stories.”

To which I say, bro, you’ve probably been on this earth for at least 18 years. Don’t tell me you don’t have ONE cool story.

I bet you have AT LEAST three.

The best thing about a cool story?

It needs no introduction.

If you ever ask, “Want to hear something epic?”

Nobody will say no.

So delve deep into your noggin and unearth your epic stories.


Explaining how you got a scar is never a bad idea. It’s even better if it was super embarrassing.

Perhaps you need more than three examples of topics to talk about with a girl.

Guess what? I wrote an article with 21 examples.

This way you’ll always be able to keep a conversation going. Check it out here:

>> 21 Examples of How to Keep a Conversation Going With a Girl

Tip #17: The truth of not knowing what to say

Every man who has ever been on a date fears silence and probably for the wrong reasons.

Yes, if you’re regularly tongue-tied, you show her that you’re not a great communicator or flirt.

You experience that silence as discomfort, and she sees it as a turnoff.

A painful double whammy.

But despite the above, not every silence sends the conversation into the toilet. Only the silences that stem from fear.

The same fear that doesn’t want the conversation to stop.

Like a conductor of a locomotive, you shovel questions onto the firebox of the conversation.

“I hope this question lasts a couple of minutes…”
“O, dear. Her answer was much shorter than expected. Quickly, toss another question into the fire!”
“Shit. My questions are running out! How can I keep her talking?”

Your focus now lies on avoiding discomfort.

And that’s a recipe for disaster.

After all, a date is about sparking emotions and getting to know her.

So how about you quit stirring up the conversation-machine and lean back for once?

Give her a chance to carry the burden of conversation and entertain you.

Pro tip:

Is your silence not triggering her to speak? Look away as if you’re bored.

Your disinterest will drive her to put in more effort.

So switch up talking and silence.

Only once you befriend silence will you be able to have animated and exciting conversations.

Tip #18: How to kiss her on the first date

The moment you’ve been waiting for, you’re about to learn how to lock lips with a beautiful woman.

Are you ready?

I bet you are, Romeo!

Let’s start at the beginning.

When two people find each other attractive, kissing is perfectly normal. Even when they barely know each other.

It can be used to deepen a relationship, or you can kiss purely for sexual reasons.

“Sure, sure, sure, Dan. But how can I ACTUALLY kiss a girl?!”

Simple, just press your lips onto hers.

What you probably mean is, how do you increase the chances that she won’t reject you?

That’s slightly more complex. Although easy to execute.

Go forward one step at a time.

Instead of thinking, “How can I kiss her?” think “How can I take it one step forward?”

Suppose you’re on a date and you only shook her hand. Then a kiss is out of the question.

But if you spent the last 5 minutes with your arm around her on a quiet park bench, a kiss is expected.

Pro tip:

Want to know how to kiss her during a drink date?

Here’s what you do.

Lock eyes with her.

If she’s holding her hands, calmly take it out of her hands and put it down on the table beside you.

Without breaking eye contact, you scooch over and against her. Or if she’s across from you, you pull up your chair and place it beside her.

While still staring her in the eyes, you slowly bring your head forward and firmly press your lips against hers.

Even if the date was less than stellar, she’ll probably kiss you back because of your ballsy and theatrical move.

Try it out some time.

So if you want to kiss her, get her used to your touch.

Start with a brief touch on her arm. A friendly nudge with your body. Offer her your arm during a walk. Wrap your arm around her. Play thumb wars. Hold hands. Pick her up in your arms.

Touch her enough, and she’ll eventually come to expect it.

Now your touch stops being ‘weird’.

That’s the moment when your kiss is almost a guarantee.

Does she reject you by turning away?

That means she’s a bit more timid.

Stay calm and strike up a new conversation.

If she seems tense, ask her if she’s okay and offer to take her home.

Is she fine? Continue as if nothing happened and keep the physicality on the same level as before.

Do you see that she’s giving you the Bambi eyes?

Go for the kiss.

Tip #19: How to take her home


Your pride can handle not having sex on the first date.

What I’m about to say may make me seem like a wuss, but I think most men put way too much weight on getting women into bed as soon as possible.

What’s wrong with sleeping with her on the fourth or fifth date?

Some dudes claim that takes too long.

I disagree.

It’s quality that matters, not quantity.

Although I love sex, I’m fine with holding out for a while.

That said, there are ways to take her home if she’s ready.

I use the next lines, and trust me, they work. Copy them or use them as inspiration for your own lines.

  • “I bought this amazing new lamp that only works at night. I have to show it to you.”
  • “I’ve got a new roommate, my pet python. His name is Sleng. He’s really nice, you should come pet him!”
  • “I’ve got a new juicer. Let’s go make some smoothies!”
  • “What?! You’ve never seen Pulp Fiction? Unbelievable. We’re going to watch it, right now.”
  • “I made a funny video that I have to show you. Let’s go!”
  • “I’ve got some leftover sushi in the fridge. Let’s go have a bite.”

Now, to be clear, these are all true. Well, were true.

I actually have a juicer and a galaxy projector lamp that only works at night, and I used to have a pet python. I don’t always have sushi, but I do have fruit because I’m a fruit maniac. And although I do own a hard copy of Pulp Fiction, I’ve never finished it while together with a girl.

The point is, don’t lie. That’s manipulation.

Anyway, the above lines work best if you already mentioned the activity during the date.

For me, that meant telling my date I just bought a new lamp. Later on I’d say the lamp only works at night and that she has to come check it out.

Consider the after-date like a seed you’re planting.

You’re giving her a different reason, besides sex, to come home with you.

Of course, she knows what’s going to happen when she visits your home, but she doesn’t want to feel like a slut. And it’s your job to not make her feel like one.

Take responsibility for your job: give her an excuse to come home with you, but never lie.

Your date should never come home to an empty apartment, without a juicer/lamp/sushi, and only a mattress and some condoms on your nightstand.

Although you shouldn’t lie, it’s usually also not the best to say: “Hey, come over to my place for some passionate sex!”

Massage reality.

And if you want to increase the chances of her coming home with you even more…

…make sure the last place you went to is close to your place.

When your home is only a block away, it’s hard for her to turn down your offer.

Simply say, “Hey, let’s go eat some sushi/check out that lamp/meet my new pet!”, take her hand and lead the way.

On your walk home, keep the conversation light.

When you get to your place, there are three options.

  1. Push her against the wall/couch/bed and kiss her. If she’s turned on, lift her up, put her on the bed and continue there.
  2. Have a few drinks, take it easy, give her a massage on the bed and build towards having sex.
  3. Do nothing. But if you’re taking her home anyway, I’d sure go for it. If it doesn’t happen it’s fine, but while she’s here, why not take a shot? Postponing it only leads to overthinking and more complications, often from her side.

What about if she’s not turned on? In this case, maybe you did a bad job at making her horny.

It’s such a broad topic I had to write a full article about it, so check it out here:

>> 7 Tips to Make Women So Horny They Booty Call YOU

Tip #20: Sex on the first date

The world-famous phrase we all use to get someone into bed:

“Shall we watch a movie at my place?”

Although it’s not obvious, all women know that’s code for:

“Shall we go to my place and bang?”

So is there a nicer way to phrase the obvious?

Or at the very least, set up the obvious?


Plan an activity at home.

Once, a girl and I made plans to make sushi. A great idea for a date.

We first met up in front of a supermarket to buy the ingredients. Then we took the ingredients back to her place.

Although the plan was good, we ran into a problem. Actually, three problems:

Her roommates.

Over and over they kept bothering us. One even helped make rolls for an hour.

Although we wanted privacy, I was in no position to tell the roommate to leave.

After I realized we couldn’t get the privacy we wanted, I invited her over to my place for drinks.

That’s the beauty of your own environment, you’re the one in control.

The moral of the story?

If you want a date that leads to sex, organize a fun home activity:

  • Make cocktails
  • Cook a meal
  • Make a pillow and/or blanket fort
  • Have a movie marathon that you don’t finish
  • Give each other a massage
  • Play a board- or videogame

Plenty of ideas to go round.

Get creative.

And get ready for the final first date tip for men.

Tip #21: A good start is half the battle

Although you may not realize it, the first date doesn’t start when you meet her.

The date starts before you even leave the house.

So when does it begin?

As you get ready.

Which you absolutely should, because your date is probably pulling out all the stops.

The least you can do is put in a little effort, so she feels appreciated.

And if you want to make an especially good impression, do the following:

  • Whether it’s lifting weights, a jog through the park, or a game of football, exercise releases all kinds of chemicals that make you feel good and relaxed
  • Brush your teeth and tongue so you have nice breath. It doesn’t hurt to bring a mint
  • Put on your best shoes. Seriously, the shoes you wear tell girls a lot about your personality
  • Wear perfume. It’s the easiest way to gain +2 sexy levels. Spritz a little behind your ears and on the inside of your wrists
  • Go easy on the hair products
  • Bring sunglasses if the sun is out. Glasses add symmetry to your face and add a little mystery. But do take them off when you’re inside, stud
  • Still anxious? Listen to your favorite tunes or watch stand-up to calm the nerves
  • Do something noteworthy on the weekend before the date. That’ll make for a nice icebreaker and it also shows that you don’t sit in the basement all day eating Doritos

Unless you like Hugh Jackman from the movie Movie 43, I’ve got you covered:

Bonus: Texting after the first date

If there is one thing you want to know about texting after the first date, it’s this.

While there are no rules about what to text, there is an unwritten rule about when to text.

And, NO, it is not the romcom popularized 3-day rule!

Three days is way too… LONG.

Try to see it from your date’s perspective.

She got dolled up for the date, put her best self forward and is now in the dark about what you think of her.

To wait 72 hours for your text is torture.

And honestly, impolite.

So how long after the first date should you text your lady friend?

Within 24 hours.

Now with all these first date tips for men, you’ll guarantee a bullet-proof first date, you’re all set to go on your date and make it as amazing as possible.

To help you further with doing everything right and be a boss, I’ve got the free Transformation Kit for you!

Download it here, check it out and make me proud.

I’m wondering if there’s anything else you’d like to know about dating. In case you’re missing something, let me know!

Your bro,
Dan de Ram.

Stop awkward conversations
and painful rejections

My free Transformation Kit will make you irresistible to women.

  • 12 Opening Lines that Actually Work
  • 5 Date Generating Texting Tips (Plus Copy-Paste Lines for Tinder)
  • The Friendzone Escape-Room Trick
Yes, give me the Transformation Kit!

Related articles


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *