What you get here are 10+ years of experience condensed in my 7 best flirting tips.
- How flirt coaching can benefit your dating life
- How to gain much more flirting success by removing one small thing
- My best tips for online flirting
- Flirting lines for you to use
- Something I would have liked to have when I started out
- Much more flirt coach advice…
When I tell others that I help men learn how to flirt, I always get the same reactions like:
- “No, really? I’ve never heard that before!”
- “Oh, I can imagine a lot of people are interested.”
- “Tell me, what’s your best tips?”
I don’t normally do this, but I’ll give you my best tips in a minute.
To get a different reaction, I often don’t say that I’m a flirtcoach. Instead, I make an art out of inventing boring job titles.
Recently I was “active” as an account manager for industrial plants. I don’t know if this job even exists, but it was a nice change.
Why is flirt coaching so important nowadays?
Whoever or whatever you blame… we don’t flirt much. At least we only do so under certain circumstances:
- On Tinder…
- Drunk during nightlife…
- And perhaps cautiously within the circle of friends…
But that’s usually all that is.
The problem is that there are many misconceptions about flirting.
This isn’t about taking every opportunity to hit on a woman or a man.
No!
Flirting is a social attitude.
I don’t just flirt with a woman I like. I flirt with EVERYONE. The cashier at the local supermarket, my best buddy’s wife, and even an occasional grandmother…
By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
Why the world needs flirting coaches, dating guides and dating blogs
It’s a paradox of society.
A man should know how to behave towards women. Otherwise, he’s labeled a loser or a creepy pervert.
But no one teaches it to him. Neither his parents nor the school system…
Worse: Learning how to flirt with women properly is considered morally reprehensible.
When a man is naturally attractive and successful with women, society gives him both thumbs up.
However, if he isn’t and tries to become one, he’s called a “manipulator”.
“Just be you” is then the standard response to his efforts.
It is a very helpful tip because it has worked out extremely well so far…
>> How To Make a Girl Love You? 9-Step Master Plan.
To sum up: Be good with women, but don’t learn to be good with women.
My position on this is clear:
It might be a little weird having to learn to flirt. But it’s a lot weirder if you don’t.
I see it again and again in clubs: A nice guy finally dares to talk to a woman after a long time of overthinking. But his posture seems intimidating, and because he’s so nervous, he forgets to smile.
The woman reacts with disgust and tells him to fuck off…
And all this, just because he doesn’t know how to behave properly to leave a bomb impression. Poor guy…
I can’t stand it any longer! There are a lot of men out there who deserve to get positive reactions from women.
And flirt coaches can help them.
Tip #1: The small difference between success and failure
Men are expected to make the first move when it comes to flirting.
And rightly so!
I also used to get upset about the fact that this must always be the task of men, but just think what attractive qualities it shows when YOU approach her instead of the other way around:
- Self-confidence
- Readiness to act
- Risk appetite
- Vulnerability
- Courage
But unfortunately, most men are afraid of this first step.
Although they feel the impulse to make contact when they see a beautiful, elegantly dressed woman…
But then their brain is haunted by countless excuses why it isn’t a good idea to talk to her.
Examples:
- “The guy standing next to her is probably her boyfriend anyway.”
- “She only just arrived, and I’m sure she doesn’t want to be approached yet.”
- “I don’t feel confident enough yet.”
- “I don’t know what to say.”
Nike is right with its slogan “JUST DO IT”. It’s really about acting despite inhibiting thoughts.
Take it easy, my friend. There’s indeed a way to become a man of action.
To do that, you need to understand this:
Action is the result of good habits.
For example, I have the rule that I’m not allowed to go to the bathroom in a club until I’ve interacted with 3 strangers.
Make it a habit to talk briefly to the bouncer or cashier, for example.
>> 12 Worst Pickup Lines Ever – That Can Actually Work.
Then when you enter the club, say “Hey, everything’s alright?” to the first two people you see.
This first contact doesn’t need to be flirty. It’s only about awakening the social being inside you (and that’s inside EACH of us).
Let me assure you: Social people are popular.
Pro tip:
Taking action will be much easier if you do it directly. The longer you wait to do it, the more leeway you give to your fear.
I’m repeating it again because it’s just so damned important:
Don’t give fear an inch of leeway by acting INSTANTLY.
Tip #2: The flirt trainer mentality, which you can also use
There is a big difference between hitting on and flirting with someone.
Like I said, whether I’m in a monogamous relationship or just travelling the world as a free man… I always flirt.
Seducing is the purposeful approach to a person: You want a date, have a sexual interest or want a relationship.
But flirting has no purpose.
You do it because you enjoy the tension.
When I lived in South America for a short time, I constantly flirted with the night watchwoman of my house.
She was a chubby lady of 5’4” (1, 65 m), about 40 years old and it was clear to both of us that it’s only a small game.
If she saw me going into the building at night with a date (the doormen had to open the door for you), the next day she would say with a smile, “My heart is broken!” or “How could you???”
Sometimes I gave her a bar of chocolate to make up for it.
This game has no function except that it’s fun.
A funny back and forth without an end goal, and we both simply live it up.
That’s the flirt coach mentality. Whether you’ve been married for 30 years, or you’re a bachelor right now:
Flirting is a way of life.
That it’s very attractive when a person amuses himself without a certain goal is a nice BONUS.
Tip #3: (Online) Flirt coaching for your conversations
The question I get asked the most is probably
It’s very annoying. You’re facing an interesting woman, your palms get wet, and you’ve problems to keep eye contact.
Before you know it, one boring question after another leaves your mouth and the conversation slowly collapses like a house of cards.
What helped me back then to make conversations more interesting was…
>> Seducing a Woman Over Text – 7 Examples of Building Tension.
To learn a few sentences and lines by heart.
I know what you’re thinking now:
But if you get nervous because you don’t know what to say, you’re certainly not yourself…
Awesome lines can help you relax so that you can bring out your authentic self.
Grab my 12 Lines that Always Hook for free here.
So, you can save yourself from uncomfortable silence like a vampire from daylight.
An excellent pick-up line, for example:
Afterwards, you can talk about all kinds of things:
- Travel
- Fantasize about your adventures
- India (a country about which everybody has an opinion: Scary/ beautiful/ spiritual/ dirty/ exciting/ poor/ interesting)
- Why you thought she was adventurous
Later on, you’ll (also with my help) you will recognize the deeper principles behind fantastic conversations, and you won’t have to stand on lines anymore.
Nowadays, I rarely use a copy-paste sentence, but in the past, they definitely gave me a lot of security.
>> 15 Best Topics to Talk About with a Girl (Texting/Dates/Tinder)
Tip #4: Flirting with the right body language
Now I’ll show you the exact opposite.
It’s very convenient to know a few ingenious pick-up lines. But at the same time, what you say doesn’t have to be the least bit outstanding.
You can even flirt while talking about everyday topics like work/study/living situation.
I’ll explain it to you in a minute.
You can flirt with your body by giving the right signs of body language.
Sure, I could give you a tip on touching a woman, but you could have thought of that yourself.
Flirting with your body can be much more subtle.
One female gaze that’s known to drive men completely crazy is the “biting your lip” gaze.
It’s a sign of suppressed longings for the other person.
This look is extremely sexy to men.
It’s not easy for a man to keep up with the sex appeal of a young, attractive woman biting her lower lip, but with the right flirtatious look, you can.
This works as follows:
- Lean back
- Tighten your eyes slightly
- Raise one lip corner minimally.
- Hold the head slightly tilted.
In practice, it looks like this:
When you look so deeply into a woman’s eyes, the tension rises immensely.
For another 5 expressions that drive women crazy, check out this article
Tip #5: Use THIS fundamental principle of attraction
One of my earlier affairs once invited me to a company party of her employer.
It’s a very financially strong, internationally successful company, so I was surrounded by millionaires.
I didn’t know what to expect, but it turned out that most of them were pretty cool dudes.
I had a brief conversation with one of the group bosses, and he asked me which project I was working on.
He was highly interested, and we talked about flirting.
Enthusiastically he told me about the way he had got to know his present wife:
Afterwards, I went on. I was very drunk, to be honest. Later on the dance floor, she almost came begging to me to ask me what was wrong with her shoes. We had two bottles of wine on the first date… and she’s still my wife!”
Well, that was a direct man. Probably embellished his story a bit, but who cares…
There are many men who constantly overload women with compliments.
Boring!
And someone who’s always teasing… …just seems mean too.
It’s all about the right playful alternation between pulling and pushing.
The way the millionaire did it may have been a bit extreme but tease a woman from time to time during a conversation.
Start carefully as a “gentleman” should, and build it up slowly.
>> The Only 11 (Indoor and Outdoor) Fall Date Ideal Inspiration You Need.
Tip #6: Be brave when flirting
Both men and women are often bad at picking up on social signs.
Men sometimes even overlook them when they’re very clear.
And women often don’t notice when a man tries to flirt. They often think he’s “just being nice”. Uh-hu….
This often leads to very unpleasant situations. I once heard from a friend that she met a guy to watch a movie at his home.
We both know what that means.
But because this guy was so sweet, she thought he really just wanted to watch Lord of the Rings…
When he tried to kiss her, he probably thought she would react like that:
But she was SHOCKED. She fled his apartment like Frodo from the Nazgul…
Therefore, it’s advisable to be a little more daring when flirting so that you avoid these situations.
Important:
This doesn’t apply to flirting at work. Being able to afford to eat and have a roof over your head is still more important than dating. I don’t want you to lose your job.
But in a bar or club, you can be very direct.
Look deeply into the eyes of the woman of your desire and tell her as calmly as you can that you find her attractive.
The emphasis is on CALMLY.
Turn on your sloooowmoootion mode.
Too many people accelerate everything when they do something exciting. The attracting effect is lost.
Think of someone rushing to get through their presentation… It’s not working!
Speaking of Lord of the Rings, Treebeard would say…
If you speak more slowly, your compliments will seem especially strong because you dare to be vulnerable instead of trying to rush through the compliments.
Try it out and thank me (and Treebeard) later.
>> 7 Ways to Be More Masculine: Feel Great and More Attractive.
Tip #7: Think about the next step
Getting to know people and flirting is all well and good, but at some point, you’ll want to get results, bro.
So, if you don’t get her number or take her by the hand and lead her to the dance floor, it’s still flirting.
Getting a number is easy as long as you keep it casual.
Just say something like:
You do this again with a certain inner calmness that would make Treebeard proud, and with your most beautiful smile that your face is capable of.
You’ll find that you’ll have more dates and more social life.
My flirt coach gift
To help you even more on your way, I’ve created this free Transformation Kit. I’ll send it to you immediately if you click on the link below.
Have a good time.
Your bro and favorite flirt coach,
Dan de Ram
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