The way she smiles, moves, or speaks…
You look at her and think:
“Is she flirting with me?”
In this article, you will learn to recognize all the signs that reveal her flirtation:
- Multiple tests how to know if a girl is flirting with you
- Even how she flirts on WhatsApp + example screenshots
- Female flirt body language and eye contact
- 3 Things women say who are into you
- Flirting signs from a woman telling you she wants you to approach her
- Psychological signs women give when they’re in love with you
- Loads of examples and pictures to paint a crystal-clear image how women flirt
By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
Sign #1: How women flirt with you on a date
You’re having a drink together.
How do you find out if she’s being polite, or if she’s flirting with you?
One of my girlfriends will assist us with the example pictures in this article.
Because some women are show obvious flirting signs, whereas other give off more subtle signals.
I’m sure you’ve heard someone say this before:
That could be true.
Later, I will show you how to tell whether she is flirting with you from her eye contact and the way she’s breaking eye contact with you.
But, if eyes are the window to the soul, then…
A lot can be deduced from her hands.
For example, if she is tapping her fingers on the table, this means she is feeling impatient.
But, what she is doing with her hands can also be a flirt sign.
Touching the face is a typical sign of nervousness. Both women and men have this nervous tick. They start touching their chin, nose, and cheeks.
It’s as if she’s putting make-up on for you. She is trying her best to look good for you. With her hand, she is guiding you to her facial looks.
Now maybe the most important from this article:
Sign #2: Differences in flirting between men and women IMPORTANT
Most men don’t get this:
Men and women flirt in COMPLETELY different ways.
You MUST understand this; otherwise, you will not understand most of the signs that she is flirting with you.
In what ways do the signals of men and women differ?
- Men stare at women longer.
- Men are more direct when talking
- Men tend to be more macho and tell cool stories about themselves to make a good impression.
There are two important differences here:
Why do men stare longer?
Why do men try to impress with macho behavior?
Now that you get this, you will understand that women try to seduce you with their appearance.
Here’s an example.
Sign #3: Body language flirting signs from a woman
When she emphasizes on characteristics that we men find attractive, then you know she is hitting on you.
One of the things men find universally beautiful in a woman is her curves.
Sometimes she will consciously show them off. I’ve noticed during my first dates that women regularly wear push-up bras.
She will also emphasize her curves with her body language.
By arching her back and extending her chest, an S-shape appears in her body language.
Her bosom is emphasized and her butt looks rounder.
Once, I discussed this signal when giving a workshop on body language.
The question from the audience:
A fine question, but the answer is:
I only had to this for 2 seconds, and everybody had to laugh because it comes across quite unmanly when you stand that way:
This is me showing the stance…. 50 Shades of Gay
On the other hand, extending your chest is a good idea for your flirting skills.
Now, flirting is such a broad topic, and you might want to become a master of it.
In this case, you should read this article:
Sign #4: Test, is she flirting with me?
I will give you a simple test you find out whether she is flirting with you.
Most women give away their emotions quite easily, once you learn how to read their body language…
BUT, sometimes it’s not that clear what she thinks of you.
Especially with women you might call ‘bitchy’, but also with women that are controlled in expressing their emotions.
That’s why you do this:
Make sure you get closer to her, for example, by doing a little, playful dance with her.
You do not want to get too close, keep your lips away from her.
Now you safely enter her space.
Or by putting your arm around her. (Later I will show a test for this move too.)
When you notice she keeps looking at you, while you come closer to her while keeping your lips away from her.
That is a clear sign that she is flirting with you. Better yet, a kiss isn’t that farfetched now. Above you see an example of this flirt test.
Many men are unable to differentiate flirt from friendly when a girl touches them… painful doubt is going through your head.
If you’re the same, read this article below:
Sign #5: What you can learn about women who flirt from 50 Shades of Grey
This book is in Coach Patrick’s top 10 of seducing women books.
Now, you don’t necessarily have to read this book.
One of the things that I noticed is that the main character puts a lot of emphasis on lip biting.
So much so, that Christian Grey forbids the main character to bite her lips.
What many men who are bad with women don’t realize is that her lips are a reflection of her ‘lips down there.’
That’s why many men think women have ‘such beautiful lips,’ while you never hear a woman say this about a man.
So, when she is wetting her lips for you, that is a piping hot flirt signal that she likes you.
When you see this, especially when it happens more often, you are more or less in.
Let’s go into how men often interpret signals wrong during their dates.
Sign #6: How to tell a woman wants flirty attention
The biggest mistake you can make on a date is this.
When a woman finds you attractive, she will give you all the excuses in the world to get closer.
That is another thing in which men and women differ.
For many women, culturally (and probably also biologically), it isn’t the norm to make the first move.
So, women give off signs sooner, which makes it easier for the men to take the next step.
I will explain this more later, so you know when a woman wants you to approach her.
Women do this too with touches:
- Does she mention she is cold? Put your arm around her.
- Does she get a giggle when you touch her lightly? Do it again later.
- Is she leaning towards you when you make a joke? Then you can give her a kind of sideways hug.
Just know that women aren’t as obvious as men with their flirtatiousness.
Pheromones play an essential role in this; let’s continue:
Sign #7: Obvious flirting sign women make
This you’ve seen before (hopefully ;)).
This is one of the most general symptoms of flirty behavior.
She is playing with her hair.
She does this for several reasons:
- Is she showing you the shine in her hair (remember women try to seduce you by showing off their appearance)?
- This way she is making herself more beautiful, and she is checking whether her hair is looking good
- She is spreading pheromones. Science says they have a highly underestimated effect while flirting
I was also going to come back to:
Sign #8: Is she flirting with me? Should I approach her?
Back in the day, I went out to meet women on a daily basis.
That means clubbing, but also on the street during the day.
And you know what…
RARELY does a woman approach me.
It’s not all bad, though, because I know exactly how to identify the signals that she wants to be approached.
One signal will surprise you.
Because it is something that we men DO NOT do.
When we want to approach her, we’re staring at her drooling.
Sometimes, a woman does the exact opposite of what you would you, even though she has the same intentions as you.
What a woman does in a club, bar or pub to flirt with you, is this:
She will start dancing in front of you, but with her back turned towards you.
So, you won’t even see her face.
You might think that this means she’s not interested, but she is simply too afraid to be that direct.
Again, she is showing off her curves in a subtle way while dancing in front of you casually.
Don’t be afraid to tap her on the should and to approach her.
Sign #9: Is she flirting with me or just being friendly?
About the topic of when and how to approach, I want to give you one more tip.
Personally, I don’t wait around too much.
I don’t wait for the signs she is giving me through her eye contact.
I have one golden rule.
When she looks at me longer than 3 seconds, or she looks at me 3 times, I MUST approach her no matter the situation.
This way, I sometimes meet women in public transport or in stores.
What do you say in a moment like this?
Or when you want some funny opening lines to use to get the conversation going, download these 17 funny example sentences. Get them here for free!
Sign #10: Flirty female body language
When you are sitting at a table with her…
But also, when you’re talking to her at a bar…
You can see from her posture what she thinks of you.
A smelly homeless person asks you for money in the street. He gets waaaaay to close to you. You can smell his scent, and he doesn’t look very appealing.
What happens to your body?
You lean backward, and you probably hold your nose up, while going on your way or giving some spare change.
The opposite of this homeless person is an attractive person.
With her, you will lean in. Women do it this way too:
When she is leaning in during a conversation, that is an obvious flirt signal girls give. She is showing you she wants to get closer to you.
When she is even arching her neck towards you, that means you’ve hit the jackpot.
Sign #11: How to test flirting signs from a woman
This works best after a joke.
Or, after an emotional peak in your conversation.
For example, you’re laughing together after you’ve kicked her ass during table football.
Put your arm around her should and reassure her that she’s still cute.
This way, you can test whether she finds you attractive.
- Do you notice she’s leaning in?
- Or do you notice she’s leaning back a bit?
- Can you feel that she’s relaxed, or is there some tension in her body?
When she is leaning in, and her body is relaxed, that is a good sign.
Sign #12: How to read her eye contact
I was going to tell you more about her eye contact.
Of course, when she is looking at you long… sure, she likes you.
But is she flirting with you?
Some signals women give are super visible, but we will get into the more specific and subtle signs.
Because how she breaks eye contact with you is also very telling.
Of course, when she looks at you and then looks down.
Do her eyes fall down in a shy way with a little smile or blushing?
That is a positive sign.
Looking down is generally a sign of little dominance and actual submission.
It can also be a negative sign. For example, when she’s fidgety and looks quite emotionless.
That means she’s bored, rather than interested.
Boredom, interest, lying… It’s possible to read a lot more from a girl’s eyes.
If you want to get better at reading girls eye contact, check out this article:
Sign #13: Text flirting examples of a girl
Yesterday I taught a pick-up course in Amsterdam.
On Sunday we conclude the course with:
- How to integrate your new flirting skills into your life
- How to go about dates
- We finish with an hour of approaching women on the street
- And before doing all that… I do a masterclass on texting
Because picking up a woman online is quite something else.
So, I ask our participants to post some screenshots in the group chat.
This way, I can review them and give some feedback.
One guy sent this to the chat:
He asked me whether he was doing it right.
I noticed 2 mistakes and lots of positive points.
In the next tip, I lay out 4 signs that she’s flirting with you over text.
Signs #14-17: The 4 obvious texting flirts over text (examples)
Here is my analysis of the above chat. The good and the bad.
What is going wrong here?
- Bad spelling can be a turnoff for some women; better to keep your spelling in check
- This woman is showing obvious flirting signs. He should have already asked her out a week ago!
(Later I will show you a quick method to ask women out online through chats)
What is going well?
- She is showing a lot of emotion
- She is clearly trying her best to belong. You can tell by “I’m your buddy too.” And no, this isn’t in the context of the friendzone situation. Because she is trying again in her next message.
- She is sending lots of emojis
- She is responding quickly
This woman is clearly very ready to be asked out on a date.
There’s a lot more you can learn on how how to know if a woman likes you through text.
I wrote a full article about this. Check it out here:
Sign #18: How you can see she is flirting with you
When she does this, you know it’s going well between the two of you.
When people like each other, they start acting alike.
Maybe you’ve noticed it before. You make a new friend, and he uses a specific word a lot.
For example, “you know,” “nice,” or “shit!”. Whatever the word is, you’re likely to start using it too.
The same holds for body language.
This is called mirroring, behavior as a result of the mirror-neurons in our brain.
She starts copying you. This is an obvious sign that somebody finds you interesting.
In the next tip, I will show you another test and how you can put it into practice.
Sign #19: Female flirt body language test
One night I was at a bar.
Just having a drink with a fresh Tinder match.
I’m teasing her a little; we’re talking a bit.
Then I notice…
She is standing exactly like me!
Her foot against the bar crossed behind her leg. Leaning against the bar, her hand in her side. Even her head a little askew.
Who started this body language? Research has shown that it is because of hers (or my) mirror-neurons.
So I do the following:
I move myself a little bit, lean back a bit more, and I put my hand in my pocket.
Two minutes later, I see her do the same thing.
Great to see. This date is in the pocket.
Sign #20: How to tell if a woman is attracted to you (and wants you to stay)
If you see her standing in this ultra-feminine pose.
The pose looks like this:
She is standing with her legs in a crossed position. Does that mean closed? Or is it positive?
Well, put yourself in that position. It’s not necessarily very manly, that’s for sure. This stance indicates that she wants to keep talking with you. She feels feminine, and she is standing in the way in which she doesn’t exactly want to run away from you.
Sign #21: She always laughs at your jokes…
… even if they’re not that funny.
Not that I doubt your humor, brochacho.
But if she’s always laughing and giggling even if you’re not really joking. Well, then she is showing an emotional reaction to you.
No matter the subject you’re talking about.
The harder she laughs, the gigglier she is, and the more she acts like a schoolgirl… the more she is into you.
This is already an indication of one of the most powerful signs on this list:
Sign #22: How her female flirty body language changes around you
For example, you can notice this when you walk into a room.
She was just talking with her girlfriends.
Suddenly she’s quiet, looking at you from the corners of her eyes.
Or maybe she is typically quite sweet and quiet.
But now you’re there; she suddenly starts teasing her friends a bit or even gossiping about them.
The bigger the change, the bigger the chance she’s into you.
Sign #23: Flirting signs over social media
An easy symptom.
You upload a new, cool picture to Facebook, Instagram, or Snapchat…
Who is the first to give it a big, fat like?
This is a good sign.
If this is a pattern you notice, then they are signs that she is interested in you. Like her posts back and then start up a conversation with her.
WARNING: What is considered flirting
A very important Public Service Announcement.
Something you have to understand when recognizing these flirt signals.
Because not every woman who shows these signs is flirting with you.
I often get the questions:
Hell, I don’t know.
All it comes down to is CONTEXT.
Because (like most things in life), you have to put these signs into a certain context.
- Maybe she’s a colleague, and she’s just being polite.
- Maybe she’s just friendly, and you might be overthinking it.
- Maybe she’s working and just providing a good service.
So always wait for multiple flirt signals, before getting too sure about it. The best way to find out whether she likes you is by taking action and seduce that girl.
Sign #24: Signs she is subtly into you
Not in the way that she will put some shelves up.
Think more along the lines of:
- When you ask if someone wants to join you on a trip to the supermarket, she’s the first to volunteer
- When the collar of your shirt isn’t straight, she will correct it for you
- When there’s a dry bit of wax in your hair or an eyelash on your cheek, she will immediately remove it
This is because you bring out the nurturing side of her. Women like taking care of the man they like.
Sign #25: How women flirt – watch her eyes
Cartoons make eager use of enlarged pupils.
A little over the top maybe… but they’re not entirely missing the point.
When we show an interest in something, our pupils dilate a little, like in the dark, or somebody who is high.
This happens both with food and beautiful women.
Women show the same signs towards men as well.
I mentioned this earlier, but context is important here too. It could be a dark nightclub, for example.
Sign #26: Women who flirt are looking for hints
Some women are more subtle when it comes to this; others are more direct.
But they all do it.
Finding out whether you’re single or not.
Most of the time, this is done through a joke, an assumption, or a so-called nosy question.
Here are 3 examples:
- “Oh right, a guy like you has probably been with his girlfriend for yeaaaaaars”
- “So, how long have you had a girlfriend?”
- “And you, are you single?”
When she says one of these things to you, you can respond with:
Accusing her of flirting is actually a very good flirt technique.
Sign #27: Flirting sign from a woman that is just listening
This one is clear.
When you’re talking, her full focus is on you.
I catch myself doing this from time to time too.
For instance, I suddenly started remembering the birthday, names of friends, and some personal details of a date I had.
She was so gorgeous and so much my type that I seemed to have more focus during our conversation topics.
We saw each other for a while after that until she emigrated, and I broke it off. But I still remember her birthday, as she was just more interesting than the other women who were in my life at the time.
Physical flirting signs
I’m not even going to list this one as a sign.
This is the equivalent of her approaching you with a very direct opening line.
Any physical flirt in the correct context is an obvious flirting sign.
- She gives you playful pushes.
- Maybe even ‘hits’ you on the shoulder when you joke about her.
- Or she gently touches you.
Every excuse to touch you, she takes it.
Bonus tip: When you don’t take action on this, it’s all pointless
25+ flirting signs from a woman down.
You learned a lot about body language and what women do when they’re into you.
But you know what?
It doesn’t matter at all if you don’t take any action.
Then she can flirt as much as she wants, but if you don’t do anything, she will lose her interest in no-time.
What a waste!
For this, I made you something genius: a Transformation Kit that you can download for free.
It contains tips, videos, and lots of other material to help you on your way to picking up women.
Dan de Ram