Yikes.. so you’re in your head. That really sucks. Especially in social situations or when you’re on a date.
Getting stuck in your head could feel like you’re locked up in prison.
But that doesn’t mean there isn’t a key…
Because there are certain handy methods to get out of your head. I’ve found these out while trying to get out of my head.
Today you will learn what those methods are.
You will get:
- 7 Liberating tips to immediately get out of your head.
- How the concert-effect helps you to loosen up in social situations.
- Handy exercises for when you’re shy
- Practical techniques and habits to possess unlimited social freedom
- What to do if you think too much
- And much, much more…
By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
How do you get out of your head?
Don’t worry, dear reader. Today you will be handed the keys to your mental freedom.
You’ve probably been stuck in this awful place for too long:
Realistic depiction of your mind
This prison does not make your life any better.
You often feel like you’re locked up in your head when you’re alone, but also when you’re in social situations…
When you’re in this prison, your conversations are awkward and don’t flow naturally.
You often want to say something, but you can’t quite manage.
You’re stuck in your thoughts. You over analyze every situation.
When you’re at a party, you see others have lots of fun.
You see how everyone makes conversation effortlessly. Meanwhile, you’re stuck in your head.
When you go out, you stay as close as you can to the safety of the bar.
And dates… those are far from fun.
But this also happens when you’re on your own. You may want to have a productive day, but instead, you spend hours day dreaming. It’s clear: you’re having a tough time behind those bars in your mind.
You might be asking yourself, “how do I get out of my head?”
Well, today I’m going to hand you the key to your freedom.
This key will grant you entry to an amazing (social) life, in which you live outside of your head.
This key comes in the form of 7 tips to get out of your head anxiety.
Read these tips carefully. And apply them today.
I guarantee that your social skills and social life will never be the same after reading this article.
Are you ready to set the first steps towards freedom?
Then let’s start with the first tip.
Tip #1: Never invite this dick to your birthday party again
When you understand this, getting out of your head will be easy peasy.
Imagine that inside your head there is a meeting room instead of a prison.
At that table there are all sorts of positive people who want the best for you.
These people are the positive, nice and helpful thoughts that you have sometimes.
These thoughts are a part of you, because a healthy person wants the best for themselves, don’t they?
Exactly. Negative thoughts are the reason why people often get stuck in their head.
Take this type of shitty thoughts, for example:
- “I’d better not say anything now, because I’m always super awkward.”
- “I’d better not approach that woman right now, because I’m not attractive anyway.”
- “I’ll just keep my mouth shut, because I’ve got nothing interesting to say anyways.”
The more you listen to this negativity, the more you’ll be stuck in your head.
These negative thoughts are not the thoughts that the nice, positive people in your meeting room like.
These thoughts originate from someone else:
A rude, cunning and disgusting person who shows up to your meeting room uninvited and starts uttering negative bullshit like this.
Pay attention next time when a negative thought enters your mind.
Is that you doing that? Did you ask for it? Do you want it?
It always comes from a different source. Some people call it “ego”. I call it “that slimy turd”.
I don’t like the word “ego” because it reminds me of the word “me”, which then makes it seem like it’s a part of yourself.
But these negative thoughts have nothing to do with YOU.
They come from a horrible, annoying source outside of yourself.
They come from that rude, uninvited guest in your meeting room.
Many people treat this person the wrong way. Some people invite him to come sit down and offer him an entire buffet. This only causes him to stick around. Then, your negative thoughts only strengthen one another.
Others try to scare him away with all their might. But this doesn’t work either.
The more you try to scare him away, the more horrible he acts… what an annoying asshole ;).
So then what does work? How do you get out of your head stopping the spiral of toxic thoughts?
You’ve got to make that annoying guy feel uncomfortable, just by looking at him.
You do this by simply observing your negative thoughts, without judging them.
So in other words: You observe those negative thoughts as if you were a bystander when they arise.
So you just look at that annoying guy who’s sat at your meeting table. You don’t engage with him and you don’t let him get to you.
Then that asshole is going to feel put on the spot and uncomfortable. He loses his power. You no longer let him command your actions or state of mind. You see “him” as the idiot that he is. In other words: You see the nonsense thoughts for what they are: Nonsense thoughts. Not absolute truths.
So, observe your thoughts. Does something negative arise? Then look at that thought, without letting it affect you. Then, that negativity will lose its power. You will get out of your head, stopping the spiral of toxic thoughts.
Tip #2: How come Santa is always ‘in the zone’?
You shut down at the idea of talking to strangers.
Even just asking the store worker where the milk is seems like a challenge.
Sometimes, you see an attractive or interesting person standing in a bar or on the street.
You’d like to go up to them, but you never manage to muster up the courage.
You’re in your head and it seems like you’re glued to the ground.
If you recognize this, no worries, you’re not alone.
Many participants in our workshops experience that same
The Santa-principle always helps you get rid of those nasty fears. It has certainly helped me get out of my head.
But before I further explain the principle, I want to make sure you understand this:
Wait a minute, I understand your resistance to this. But if you have difficulty
When it comes to approach anxiety (of even just opening your mouth at social occasions), these types of thoughts often pop up:
- “What if I’m not funny enough?”
- “What if I say something stupid?”
- “What if I accidentally spit on her hair?” (this happened to me once, no bueno).
Notice that these thoughts are all focused on you.
They have nothing to do with the other person. You’re only focused on yourself. You’re just like Christiano Ronaldo when he plays for Portugal ;).
But don’t worry, I’m not telling you this to make you feel bad. I’m telling you to make you aware of something:
Approaching someone and saying something is a lot easier when you focus on the other person.
When it comes to coaching people with approach anxiety, I therefore uphold the Santa-principle.
It works like this:
Santa always hands out presents to people. He makes people happy with them!
But not everyone. Not everyone wants a present. There are also ungrateful people who don’t appreciate presents.
If someone turns down his gift… does Santa quit his career?
He merrily continues making other people happy while whizzing around the globe on his sled. He doesn’t lose any sleep over it when people turn down his gifts.
And I recommend you do this too!
If you want to say something or approach someone, focus on the giving.
For example, you give a compliment. You deliver an interesting message. You make others feel good by making a joke. In short, by opening your mouth, you give others value.
Some people aren’t interested and turn you down.
That’s fine, because you just merrily continue, just like Santa (or Mrs. Santa).
Focus on giving pleasure, then getting out of your head becomes easy peasy…
Tip #3: Use less head, more body
We have something in common, you and I.
We’re both thinkers. Thinkers often get stuck in their heads.
I also had trouble getting out of my head back in the day.
Luckily, I discovered something that helped me a lot…
If you enjoy eating donuts all day and watching Netflix, then please don’t panic when you read this:
Yes, it can be that simple.
The more you move and exercise, the less you’ll be in your head.
This is because when you move, pleasant chemicals like endorphin, dopamine and serotonin are created in your brain.
At the same time,
When you aren’t feeling stressed or afraid, it’s a lot easier to get out of your head.
(This research about movement is specifically aimed at Americans, by the way. I don’t want to generalize.. but I was in the US recently and, yea, they can definitely use some movement.)
So the more you exercise, the less you get stuck in that handsome head of yours.
But I understand that working out or playing some soccer is not an option if you’re at a party and you can’t get yourself talking.
(Though at some parties you’d become a trendsetter.)
Luckily, even a small amount of movement can be enough to loosen you up.
Move your attention from your thoughts to your body. What do you feel? Shake it out a little. Dancing is permitted (especially at parties).
Taking a quick break to go jump up and down in the hall does wonders, for example.
Whatever you do: focus on your body when you’re in your head. Move a bit, it won’t kill you.
Are you in your head often when you’re talking to a cute girl?
Totally free. Not bad, ehh?!
Tip #4: Getting out of your head with the concert effect.
Good news incoming!
I’m giving you a ticket to the concert of your favorite artist.
Imagine that we go to their concert together. Visualize the artist on stage. Imagine how it feels to be there during the concert. What’s the atmosphere like?
Did that work? Great.
Then I have a question for you:
Imagine you were really at this concert: Would you be stuck in your head?
Yes, I agree.
Not only because it is amazing to see Justin Bieber (ehm.. I mean.. ehh.. Eminem) in real life…
But because music can get you straight out of your head. It certainly helps me get out of my head.
Music has a relaxing effect on the brain. This has also been
But you don’t need scientific research to experience this effect for yourself.
Just go sit on your bed and feel what happens when you play your favourite music.
Music does this to us. Sometimes it makes us happy and enthusiastic. Sometimes it relaxes or touches us.
Whatever it does for you: It will take your focus out of your head, towards the music.
Use the power of music to get out of your head, stopping the spiral of toxic thoughts.
I call this the concert effect. If you imagine yourself at a concert of your favorite artist, you act differently.
You feel more relaxed and at ease.
Unfortunately, teleportation is not (yet) a possibility.
But these days we have all of our favorite music at our fingertips.
When I’m walking around and want to get out of my head, I immediately spin some of my favorite tunes.
Keep in mind: Only wear one earplug.
This way, the focus is on the pleasant experience of the music, without shutting myself off from the outside world.
Hum along a bit to your favorite hits, while you walk around and take everything in.
Move your body, this will loosen you up a bit.
The boost of music puts you in a good mood and tones down the noise in your head.
I notice that this makes approaching people much easier, when I’m walking down the street humming along to some music.
Experience the concert effect for yourself.
By the way, this tip is golden if you want to approach women during the daytime.
Yep, you read that correctly: It’s totally possible to pick up women in broad daylight.
You can read more about it in this article:
Tip #5: Go back in time
This tip is fantastic to get out of your head, especially on a first date, for example.
The only thing we need for this tip is this:
This, dear reader, is a time machine.
Today, we step into it together.
We are going back to the year 1973.
Welcome to the seventies. Don’t mind the penetrating scent of weed and weird hippies.
And no, we aren’t here to celebrate the birth of rapper Sean Paul.
We are here for this object:
No, this isn’t a shitty fridge. It’s the world’s first mobile phone.
That phone was made for one goal:
The average Millennial (you know who you are) is now thinking:
Well… these days we use our phones for a lot of things, and hardly for calling.
And that’s a shame.
Because calling is an ideal way to get out of your head and stop overthinking everything.
It works like this: If you’re in your head, you’re caught up with yourself. Your own thoughts take the upper hand. You’re completely focused on yourself.
The more focus you place inward, the deeper you slip into that head-prison.
That’s why phoning someone helps a lot, for example before you go on a date.
Chatting on the phone brings you in a talkative vibe. It loosens you up and makes sure you’re thinking about yourself less.
So: You’re in your head? Then take a trip back in time and use your phone for what it was once destined.
Call a fun friend, cool girlfriend or an awesome grandma for a nice chat. You’ll feel better right away.
Don’t have anyone to call? Send some voice notes via chat. They work just as well.
By the way, would you like a cheat sheet for texting, so you never get stuck in your head?
Tip #6: Go on a dopamine diet
There is a pesky reason that few people know about that causes you to get stuck in your head.
To experience it, I have a small exercise for you:
Just go sit still for 10 minutes. And I mean SIT. STILL.
Sit that butt down on a chair. No phone.. No computer.. No stimulation.
Many people find this hard. They become uneasy. They immediately grasp for things to do.
Maybe you recognize this.
As you sit there, pay attention to the mental chatter that goes on in your head. It comes from all sorts of thoughts that flash through your head.
This mental noise makes sitting still very tough. So people want something to do when they’re alone.
Sitting still seems simple, but when it comes down to it, it’s not that easy.
How can that be?
Among other things, it’s because our brain gets totally raped with stimulus starting from the moment we wake.
Series, films, billions of YouTube videos or porn: It’s all available at the click of a button.
This access to stimulus seems awesome, especially if you need to wait for the bus for longer than 7 minutes.
But this dopamine rush causes much more damage than you think. It’s a dangerous cause of you being in your head too much.
How does it work?
Because of the large amount of stimulus, your brain has become spoiled.
As soon as you sit still for a few minutes, your brain starts craving stimulus.
That this is dangerous was shown with an experiment on rats (99% of human DNA is the same as rat DNA).
This is the part that regulates dopamine in your brain and it is activated during stimulating activities such as gambling, watching porn or gaming.
This electrode was linked to a small lever in the cage. Every time a rat moved that lever (by sitting on it), the nucleus accumbens was immediately stimulated.
The rats became addicted to this stimulus. They would only focus on that lever. They even forgot to eat and sleep.
Luckily, the stimulus to us humans is not (yet) strong enough to make us forget to eat and poop.
But our craving for stimulus is strong enough that we can’t find peace in our heads when everything is quiet.
It’s a challenge for us to sit still and be in the moment. We constantly go back in our heads.
Luckily, you can battle this by going on a dopamine diet.
This means you drastically decrease the amount of brain stimulus.
This means: Less YouTube, less porn, less gaming, less Netflix and other forms of over-stimulation.
Learn to calmly sit still without needing a distraction.
Become very aware when you reach for your phone again out of boredom. Call a stop to it and put it away.
Enjoy the peace and quiet.
It’s not easy at the beginning, but it yields amazing results in the long term for getting out of your head. It has helped me get out of my head.
Tip #7: Free yourself from your mind with this habit.
Over the years I’ve developed a highly valuable habit that makes sure that I’m hardly ever in my head anymore.
Before I explain it to you, I have a question:
What are you thinking about now?
You can answer this question easily, if you’re an airhead like Patrick Star.
But most “normal” people think about something most of the time.
Most people think about way too many things at the same time.
Humans think too much.
Your brain is constantly pumping out thoughts, even at moments where you don’t want them.
It’s very annoying when you’re having a fun night with friends, but are meanwhile overthinking about work stuff.
It’s definitely no fun if you’re on a fun date with a woman, while you’re stressing out about money issues.
And it’s oh-so-horrible to get that avalanche of “you HAVE to do all these things” – just before bed.
The more you think about things, the more you’re in your head.
But how the heck do you stop that tornado of thoughts spinning through your head?
I have a simple solution…
These are scheduled moments every week which I consciously dedicate to important things in my life.
I sit behind my desk and write down everything that’s on my mind.
Then, I problem solve, and figure out what I’m going to do about them.
This is the only moment I permit my brain to go into full-on thinking mode.
These are the moments when I give my mind full freedom to think about:
- Which Pokémon I still need to catch in Pokémon Chrystal.
Whatever it is: this fixed moment is the ideal time to think about those things.
These are the only times to think about them.
By choosing this time to think, I prevent myself from going through life, drowning in chaotic, confusing, stressful thoughts.
Every time when have worries come up I tell myself this:
And yes, sometimes you HAVE to solve a problem at short notice.
I get it.
But there are many things you can’t immediately solve. But then you still go about your day experiencing stress from those issues, even though you can’t do anything about them at that moment.
That’s why I recommend taking a set moment every week to clear those thoughts from your brain.
This is how I get out of my head, and it can help you get out of your head anxiety:
- It clears up space in your brain by decreasing the worries of daily life.
- You know the problem will be dealt with at a fixed moment, so you’re not just ignoring it.
- It gives you much more space to be in the moment, rather than in your head.
- You have much clearer thoughts about your problems, because you’re taking time for them.
Make this Me-Moment into a relaxed, positive experience for yourself.
I always make sure I have plenty of time and peace and quiet.
It’s usually about an hour, sometimes longer (depending on what you’re dealing with).
But did you get stuck?
No worries: Everyone has this problem from time to time.
Then come back to it at a later time, or ask someone for advice.
Make these moments a habit for yourself and schedule them.
It will lighten your mood, helping you get out of your head and into your life at the moments it’s most necessary.
For example when you approach a cute girl 😉.
Most men never do this, because they get locked in their heads.
But there are many other reasons why your Average Joe will never go for what he truly wants in love:
- He doesn’t know what to say.
- He doesn’t know HOW to approach.
- He’s afraid to look ridiculous.
- He has the flirting skills of a brick.
Luckily, Dan has created the FREE Transformation Kit, in which he solves all of these problems.
In this kit, you’ll find many tips for flirting, approaching women, pickup lines for WhatsApp/Tinder and a system for getting out of the friendzone.
Are you curious?
Then click on the link below this article and leave us your email.
Enjoy that amazing source of wisdom and till next time, dude!
Dan de Ram