You are here because you want to go out on your own.
You want to visit a bar or club without friends and wonder how you can have a fun night alone.
With the 8 tips in this article, your night out will be a guaranteed spectacle!
- #1: How to get to know people on your own
- #2: Is going out alone weird
- #3: How to get in the mood to go out on your own
- #4: The mindset of someone who goes out alone
- #5: Approaching women
- #6: How to approach a group of women
- #7: The way to kiss a woman in the club
- #8: Going out alone to get laid
By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
In this article, you’ll discover how to easily go out on your own and how to seduce women all by yourself without a wingman.
#1: How to get to know people on your own
Do the following and any solo night out is guaranteed to be a success:
Stay in conversation constantly.
I call this the 20-second rule.
Are you standing alone? Then step up to someone within 20 seconds.
Male or female? It doesn’t matter.
The goal is to keep using your vocal cords:
- “Yo, cool moves bro!”
- “Excuse me, age verification. ID please.”
- “Hey, cool dress. Reminds me of my grandmother’s tablecloth. Sexy ;)”
What you say makes absolutely no difference, as long as you don’t shut down and turn into a houseplant.
Then end the conversation and say you’ll talk to each other later in the evening.
Then you immediately have a hook to chat with someone later.
Not sure what to say? Then read this article:
>> What Should I Say to a Girl – 17 Best ‘Tricks’ to Spark Awesome Conversations
#2: Is going out alone weird
When it comes to going out alone, many of my clients are terrified of the next question:
Now they are faced with two choices:
- Admitting they’re as alone as a bulimia patient at Fat Camp
Hopefully you understand that lying won’t get you anywhere. In fact, you make yourself feel like what you’re doing is weird.
So what do you say when she asks you who you’re here with?
Tell her in a playful way that you are out and about alone.
For example, use these phrases:
- “My friends are too ashamed of me, so I’ve come alone.”
- “I suffer from a rare disease called ‘sleepwalking,’ so you will frequently find me here by myself.”
- “I was with friends, but when they saw my dance moves they abandoned me.”
What’s so great about these sentences?
You show that you understand that going out alone is a little strange, but (and this is even more important) you also show that you are not ashamed of it at all.
Women find the latter incredibly cool.
The men, too, by the way. But you probably don’t care because you probably don’t want to wake up next to one tomorrow. ;).
>> 7 Underrated Things Women Find Extremely Attractive in Men
#3: How to get in the mood to go out on your own
No one sits on the couch at 11 p.m. and suddenly thinks:
“You know what I feel like doing right now? To go out alone!”
Going out alone feels weird and intimidating to almost everyone.
So how do you get in the mood anyway?
By building up social momentum throughout the day. That way you’re always ready.
You can do this, for example, by:
- Exercising (this releases all kinds of feel-good hormones which automatically make you more cheerful and social)
- Hanging out with your buddies (a phone call is also possible if it’s more convenient)
- Talking to strangers on the street (read this article for tips on that!)
If you are in contact with people all day, then the transition from sitting at home to standing in the club is not so abrupt.
If, on the other hand, you have done nothing all day except sit at your computer, then you have to motivate yourself a lot more to be social in a pub with 150 unknown people.
>> 23 Easy Ways to Be More Social with Women as an Introvert
#4: The mindset of someone who goes out alone
Do you feel like people look at you weird in the club or pub because you’re alone?
Then this is for you. After reading this tip you won’t ever worry again because you don’t have any friends with you.
Because where does it go wrong?
You think everyone is looking at you when you walk into the club alone.
You can already hear people whispering:
“Look at that guy over there. He’s all alone. He probably doesn’t have any friends.”
But realize this: most people in the pub are not concerned about you at all.
Just think about yourself.
How long do you pay attention to a ‘remarkable’ person walking by on the street or in the pub?
Maybe for a while, but after a few moments you will have something else on your mind.
If you’re really scared of what people in the pub think of you, shove a positive image of you down their throats.
Bring a big bag of candy and go hand it out.
You are literally giving people a piece of joy by doing this.
But, be careful: only hand out candy that comes in a wrapper and preferably also has a familiar logo on it. For example, lollipops from Chupa Chups.
This way people don’t have to worry that you’ve done something weird with the candy.
>> 11 Tips to Show More Confidence with Girls, at Work & in Life
#5: Approaching women
The following still amazes me:
Almost everyone out of the thousands of men I have coached during my training sessions could go out on their own and have fun relatively quickly.
They joked with women. Hung out with men. And were swinging on the dance floor.
But at the same time, almost all of them ran into the exact same problem….
…They got completely stuck when trying to hit on a woman standing in a group.
What were these clients doing wrong?
They suddenly became very serious the moment they tried to “hit on” a woman.
When they were only joking, everything was fine.
But hitting on a woman?
“HOLD ON! That requires a totally different approach,” my clients say.
The joke is that seducing doesn’t require a different approach at all.
You want to be as playful and nonchalant as at the beginning of the evening when you just wanted to have a chat.
So hold on to that energy!
Do you notice that you get stuck because you focus too much on seducing?
Then end the conversation and talk to someone else.
Has the tension left your body? Then approach the girl you liked so much again.
Then the real seducing begins.
I wrote two important articles about hitting on women in the club:
[L] 13 Surprising Tips How to Approach a Girl in a Club (She Loves This)
[L] 7 Liberating Tips to Finally Get Out of Your Head (+Exercises)
#6: How to approach a group of women
Many men are afraid to step up to a woman who is in the club with a group of friends.
With this tip, I’ll give you my magic solution to approaching a woman standing with her friends.
I call it integral seduction: you don’t try to isolate a woman from her friends right away, but get to know her friends first.
“Ho, Daan!” you think right now. “I already have trouble with one woman, let alone a whole group.”
I get it, but let me explain why this tactic is great.
By introducing yourself to her friends, you show that you’re a fun guy – and not a creep.
In fact, most men try to separate a woman from her girlfriends like a lost gazelle in the Serengeti.
So are you talking to her girlfriends? Then you can be trusted!
But how do you approach a whole group?
With one of the following playful opening sentences:
- “Say, girls, I’ve heard that in every group of friends there is an angel and a devil. Who among you fulfill those roles?”
- “Ha, you guys look like a fun group. Which one of you is the biggest party animal?”
- “Someone just told me that this outfit is really outdated. What do you guys think?”
After your opening line, keep the conversation going for a few minutes and then try to separate her from her friends (see the next tip for that).
Lack of conversation material? Then read this article:
>> Conversation With a Girl: 5 Tips for Smooth Flirts (+Examples)
#7: The way to kiss a woman in the club
In fact, I see many men make the same mistake:
They approach a group of girls, have a nice conversation with one lucky lady, but then get rejected when they go for the kiss.
The reason is obvious: a woman is less likely to want to kiss you if her friends are peeking over her shoulder.
So do you want to kiss her? Then you want to leave her guard dogs on the dance floor.
How do you go about doing so?
“Can I buy you a drink?” works great, of course, but try these creative phrases too:
- “I have an important state secret I want to share with you. How about we go stand at the bar for a while?”
- “I heard that there is a treasure buried in this bar. Shall we go search for it together?”
- “Damn, I’ve inhaled enough beer air for a while. Will you come and get some air with me?”
Need flirting tips to make your interaction successful? Then read this article:
>> 12 Must-Know Ways to Flirt With Your Crush (With Examples)
#8: Going out alone to get laid
Men often don’t get women to come home with them because they talk too much.
So is that necessarily a bad thing?
No, but it is if you don’t build sexual tension!
So how do you do that?
If you want her to be attracted to you, then you want to get closer and play with the idea that maybe more will happen.
Don’t cling to her like a starfish.
Instead, start small and then go one step further each time:
- Dance with her: first with a little more distance, then up close and personal
- Put your hand on her buttocks (subtle, her butt is not a squishy toy)
- Kiss her, but give her a little less than she wants (so you can move on to the next step)
Just like heating up an oven, at some point the maximum temperature is reached.
Are you open to sex at the first meeting?
Now is your chance, guide her home.
Of course, you shouldn’t be too direct and say something like, “I feel like having sex. Will you come home with me?”
(This can work sometimes, but often a detour with the same message is more efficient.)
Like one of these phrases:
- “I’ve had it with the heat in this café. Let’s cool off at my place with some wine.”
- “I’ve gotten incredibly hungry. Want to stop by my place for a nice frozen pizza?”
- “I’m really done with the music here. Let’s play each other’s favorite hits at my house.”
The good thing about these sentences is that they all invite her to your house. And, of course, it’s pretty obvious what’s going to happen there at 2 a.m.
Should she be a little hesitant?
Then reassure her with the following sentence: “Hey no pressure. Nothing has to happen. We can honestly just have a pizza and I’ll call an Uber for you.”
(Actually be serious about this sentence. If she likes you then you can easily see her another time).
Are you a smart guy who thinks going out alone is a weird idea?
Then join the science.
In fact, research shows that when people try to do something on their own, they often find it quite enjoyable.
So cross that threshold!
To ensure you have a great first evening, I want to give you my free Transformation Package.
In it you will find the best opening sentences and conversation techniques.
Furthermore, I’ll also give you all kinds of tips on how to pick up women through dating apps like Tinder.
Scroll down, press the big button and grab your Transformation Package.
Daan the Ram
Leave a Reply