How to Approach a Lady on the Street: From ‘Hi’ to Date in 5 Steps

How to approach a lady

This blog post is all about the wonderful journey you’ve found yourself on – the journey of a man who goes from having no clue how to approach a woman on the street and can’t even overcome his fear of doing so in his wildest dreams…

… to a man who is able to approach women easily and charmingly, just as if he were in his own living room.

Can everybody get there? – FUCK YEAH!

Without discomfort and pain? – HELL NO.

The road is rocky and difficult.

To be honest, it’s so challenging that most men either don’t dare to talk to women at all, or they throw in the towel halfway through.

But, you have something these men don’t have… a professional Dating Coach to show you the way with two pink glow sticks.

Today, you’ll be handed an A-to-Z manual. You’ll discover:

  • How to approach a girl on the streets
  • How to improve your charisma
  • How to drown in phone numbers and dates
  • And much more…

By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?

You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.

Why approaching a girl on the street is easier than you think

Pretty women are approached in clubs and bars as if they’re on an assembly line.

Sometimes, it happens with such regularity that it gets annoying and rejection becomes their automated answer to every pick-up attempt.

For reasons I can’t explain, many guys think that it is easier to pick up women in clubs at night than on the street during the day.

The result is that hundreds of would-be Casanovas are besieging the clubs. In addition, there’s a lowered inhibition threshold, artificially created with alcohol, and suddenly a beautiful woman is approached for the 22nd time.

On the other hand, how often is a woman charmingly approached on the street?

The answer: Close to never.

I’ve even met models who later confessed to me that they had never been approached on the street before.

I’ve heard sentences like this more than once:

“In clubs there are always some guys walking up to me, but during the day this has never happened to me before…”

And women usually tell me this with a look that, if it could speak, would say “Respect!” out loud.

I’ve always wondered:

“How can such a woman not be approached constantly?”

I’ve had this experience so often that the truth finally burned itself into my brain: Not many men will dare to approach a woman in the daytime.

For this reason, it’s surprisingly easy to make a strong impression on women during the day.

Whether or not they’re attracted to you, they’ll often have great respect for your courage.

Of course, sometimes you get rejected coldly from time to time, but the most common rejections on the street look more like this:

“I’m sorry, I have a boyfriend, but it’s so cool that you talked to me. Just make sure you keep that up.”

If you compare that with the rejections you sometimes get in clubs, you can only smile about it.

>> 12 Worst Pickup Lines Ever – That Can Actually Work.

How girls would LOVE to be approached

One of my German colleagues once uploaded a video on YouTube with the title “How German Girls Would Love To Be Approached”.

It eventually got 220,000 views…

I’d love to show it to you, but, unfortunately he had to take it offline because his buddy – who is also in this video – is now happily married to a woman he also met on the street.

Side note:

Yes, you can meet the woman of your dreams on the street. If you don’t stop thinking that it’s strange to approach women during the day, you might miss the chance to get to know her…

But back to the video: Why did it resonate with so many men?

Because my colleague’s flirt techniques were extremely impressive, and the women gave him a blowjob in the middle of the street?

Not at all.

It’s because many men have this misconception that it’s strange to approach women on the street.

He wanted to show the world that this isn’t necessarily the case.

He wanted to prove this by simply demonstrating it. He approached German women on the streets of Munich, got their phone numbers, and finally told them that they had just been recorded for Youtube with a hidden camera. Then, he asked them how they feel, generally, about being approached by strangers on the street.

The answers he got were comforting for many guys:

  • “I find it quite charming.”
  • “I find it very brave.”
  • “Thank you! That was good to hear!”
  • “Keep that up!”
  • “That’s what I look for in a man.”
  • “That hasn’t happened to me often.”
  • “You certainly made me laugh.”

Apparently, he hit the nail on the head with this video, because the comment section was full of positivity. For example, one guy wrote:

“This video is extremely motivating, you’ve created something great. In the end you can’t help but realize how open women are for such spontaneous conversations.”

Well said! Not all women are cold-hearted monsters who will cut your head off when you talk to them.

NOW you’ll learn how to approach them THE RIGHT WAY.

>> How To Approach A Girl At A Bar The Ways She Desires: 10 Tips.

Step #1: The right mindset to attract women

This step precedes all other steps.

It may sound a bit vague and abrakadabra at first, but the approach begins BEFORE you even talk to her.

Let me put it this way: In physics, you can measure a certain amount of energy transfer BEFORE a bullet hits a window.

It’s the same with women. They can tell when you have weird intentions. They have a sixth sense for it. Something in the back of their head tells them, “Something’s wrong here!”

If you don’t have the mindset below, women will get the feeling that you have a shady hidden agenda, and they’ll quickly find you creepy or at least not trustworthy enough.

What is this mindset?

It’s not about you, it’s not about getting her number, and it’s certainly not about expecting a positive reaction from her.

When you approach a woman on the street, your focus should be solely on making her day.

THIS is the mindset of an attractive man.

Remember that no matter what pickup line you use to start the conversation…

your underlying intention will always shine through.

I once had a coaching participant who was very handsome and likeable, but when he approached women, he was like the coyote from Looney Tunes…

Both his body language and what came out of his mouth were exemplary.

Only an experienced dating coach was able to recognize what he was doing that was fundamentally wrong:

He focused too much on what to say and do.

I took him aside and literally told him WHAT TO THINK.

“Look, you walk up to this woman, stop her with a smile, take a deep breath while you think, ‘I’m going to make her day’, and then you start talking.”

And behold… Suddenly, the eyes of the women he approached lit up. Even a blind-folded blind man could have seen that he now had a magnetic effect on the women he spoke to.

That’s the foundation.

>> How to Be a More Dominant Man and Set Your Woman On Fire.

Step #2: How to stop women on the street

People seldom linger on the streets. Most of the time, they have a purpose.

That’s why you’ll often meet women who are speed-walking.

In this case, you have two options, one of which is better than the other:

  1. You walk next to her.
  2. You stop her.

Basically, I would (with exceptions) try to get the woman to stop first.


Well, when you walk next to her, you seem more like a needy, annoying guy who chases women around like a doggie.

It seems much more masculine and confident to make her take a few minutes for you, stand still and listen curiously to what you have to say.

If she doesn’t stop and tells you with a welcoming smile, “Sorry, I have to get going”, you can still consider walking with her.

Make it a rule to always stop women first. Later, when you’re more experienced, you can break the rules. 😉


When stopping a girl, you can fail before it has even started. If you approach her too aggressively, her natural reaction is to step back or to immediately walk off.

If you scare her because she didn’t expect it at all, it’s not that you can’t ever save the situation, but you make it unnecessarily difficult for yourself.

To avoid all this, I’ve developed the ABC stop.

A = Attention

B = Break

C = Chill

There are other ways to stop women, but the ABC stop is the safest way.

It works as follows:

  1. Make a wide circle around her while you try to get her attention with a smile and a slow motion of your hand.

  1. Slow her down by slowing down yourself. Stand still after one or two steps. Avoid walking backward while talking to her – that looks so weird!

  1. Root your feet into the ground and give her the opportunity to recognize what is happening by being calm and taking a deep breath before you start to speak.

Make sure you take your time.

I’ve deliberately broken down the ABC stop into individual steps. Most men mix those steps up, and it ends up being so messy that it’s too much for the woman to handle…

Be relaxed and move slowly.

That way, you clearly show her that you’re no danger. She can then also relax and be curious about what you have to say.

Now you might be thinking:

“Makes sense, Sensei Dan. But how do I start the conversation?”

As long as you follow certain rules, you can let your creativity go wild. But let me give you some examples as inspiration.

>> What Do Women Like in Men? The 7 Most Attractive Qualities.

Step #3: Openers to approach women during the day

So, you saw a woman you like, ran up to her and made the perfect ABC stop, which is why she’s now standing in front of you, smiling like it’s her birthday…

The next question, which I get asked often, is:

“What should I say?”

A few self-proclaimed “pickup artists” say it’s a good idea to be as disingenuous as possible. They advertise with routines or tricks that are supposed to work like magic on every woman.

One famous conversation opener that circulates in forums is:

“Who lies more, men or women?”

But that’s nonsense.

That sub-communicates:

“I daren’t speak to you openly and honestly, and that’s why I’m trying to find a way into your panties by asking an innocent question.”

In my experience (and that of hundreds of men I’ve coached), the best thing is simply to be HONEST.

Why don’t you just tell her why you’re talking to her?

“You have a great vibe.”

“You have a really cool style.”

“I just thought you were totally cute.”

“I noticed you in that beautiful dress and thought I’d say hi.”

These are all excellent conversation starters, and I see no reason why you should withhold the truth from her.

After all, you’re a confident man and everyone likes to receive a sincere compliment, don’t they?


Give her a compliment that you REALLY mean. That way, you unleash an authentic charisma which is highly attractive.

To make sure that your compliment doesn’t come out of the blue and lose its effect, I would always introduce it.

Say something beforehand like:

“A little unusual… …maybe a little random… But I just saw you and [compliment].”

By doing this, you prepare her for the compliment, and she won’t be overwhelmed.

And it’s the truth. It’s “unusual” and “random” by definition.

The fact that you recognize this (and speak to her anyway) shows her that you aren’t a crazy person and that you’re well aware of the situation you’re putting her in.

This is the ultimate proof that you’re not a pig without social intelligence.

You’ll find the best openers for any situation in my free Transformation Kit.

Step #4: What’s next?

You can’t just stop her smoothly, present your genuine opener, and then immediately expect her to want to do naughty things with you.

Every now and then, it happens, but this is usually just the beginning.

So, what’s next?

Now, you could say that you don’t have much time right now, but you would like to meet her another day and then proceed to exchange phone numbers.

There’s a good chance you’ll get it, but whether it’ll turn into a date is still questionable.

If you want to learn how to make a deep connection or get a date on the spot (= instant date), read on.

How can you continue the conversation?

“How about asking her what she does for a living?”


How about introducing yourself?

Hold out your hand and confidently say:

“Hi, [your name]”

Never underestimate that first touch. Only beginners see it as trivial. Experienced seducers know that it’s already the first step towards intimate touch.

After that, it’s time to find out who you’re dealing with.

>> 47 Icebreakers To Smoothly Start Conversations with Any Girl.

There’s a right way and a wrong way to do this.


“So, where are you from?”

“Oh, I’m originally from Kiev, but I live in Amsterdam now.”

“Oh, okay. So you’re Ukrainian?”

“Ehh… Yeah, sure.”

“And now? Are you studying in Amsterdam?”

“Yes, business.”

“Oh, cool. Do you like it?”

“Yeah, it’s okay.”

“Nice… …well… um…”

This conversation is as worthless as a used condom. If you’ve had these conversations yourself, you know precisely how painful they are.

When you ask these types of questions, you just delay the end of the conversation. But you know damn well that it’s coming…

A better alternative is to simply make statements about her.

For example:

“I like your style. You look like you’re from London.”

This takes all pressure off her shoulders while showing that you’re interested in her. When you ask her questions, all the pressure weighs the conversation down like a weighted vest.

Besides, there’s nothing to lose by making statements:

  • If you’re wrong, she’ll laugh and correct you.
  • If you’re right, she’ll be impressed by your guessing skills.

In any case, it’s definitely more exciting than a question.

Let’s fix that broken conversation!


“Hey, just a second. I just saw you from over there, and you look fucking amazing.”

“Ha-ha, okay, thanks.”

*You introduce yourselves.*

“I noticed your style. You look like you’re from London.”

“Ha, ha, thanks, but what makes you think that? I’m actually from Ukraine.”

“I’ve never been there. I think it’s kind of cute compared to Britain, but I might be completely wrong.”

“Yes, you really should go there. It’s definitely nice. So, where are you from?”


As you can see, you don’t need a single question to find out things about her and keep a conversation alive. This makes it seem much more natural and almost as if you’ve known each other for a long time.

>> 111 Non-Boring Questions to Get to Know Her -Real Self- Better.

Step #5: Getting a phone number and asking her out

The conversation is good enough and you still like her?


There’s no reason to stay at the exact spot and chat for 30 minutes. How memorable would your flirt be?

Right, not particularly.

Sooner rather than later, you should ask her what she’s up to today.

You know me, I can be nerdy sometimes – especially when it comes to the art of seduction.

Anyway, here’s a flip chart about where you could go from there.

How to get her number

This is actually quite easy if you keep it as casual as possible. You shouldn’t create any additional pressure now.

Make it as easy as possible for her to trust you with her number.

Say something like:

“Hey, you seem pretty cool. Let’s just exchange numbers. Maybe we’ll get a drink sometime, maybe not. Worst case scenario: we become best friends.”

Then, hand her your phone, where you’ve already prepared everything so that she only has to type in the digits.

How to get an Instant Date

In principle, it works exactly the same: don’t make a big deal out of it.

Just say:

“Hey, I find this conversation really interesting, and I have some time right now. Let’s [date idea].”

Then, you can suggest a date that doesn’t require much investment.


  • Ice cream
  • Coffee
  • Drinks
  • Buy canned beer and chill by the river
  • Go for a walk
  • Hang out in the park

This is how to talk to women on the street

It has never been so easy.

Study everything I’ve given you, and you’re well on your way to dating the women you meet in your day to day life.

To make it even easier, you simply have to take a look at my free Transformation Kit.

It consists of an in-depth breakdown how to approach women in various situations. With numerous example lines to get the conversation going flirty right off the bat.

As well as what to do after you have exchanged numbers and made plans for a date.

It’s simply everything you need, for free.

Your bro,
Dan de Ram

Stop awkward conversations
and painful rejections

My free Transformation Kit will make you irresistible to women.

  • 12 Opening Lines that Actually Work
  • 5 Date Generating Texting Tips (Plus Copy-Paste Lines for Tinder)
  • The Friendzone Escape-Room Trick
Yes, give me the Transformation Kit!

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