5 Tips to Avoid Awkward Silences With Girls You Have A Crush On

how to avoid awkward silences

You’re talking to a girl.

Suddenly, your head goes blank and the conversation stops.

You feel a pulse in your stomach and start sweating.

You look at her. You can’t come up with anything to say.

So you stand there in an awkward silence that makes you feel very uncomfortable.

Yeah, man… Awkward silences suck.

But after reading this article you’ll know how to avoid them.

What you get:

  • 5 Tips on how to avoid awkward silences
  • 7 Ways to never worry about the conversation dying again
  • What the Brute-Force method is and how to use it to break uncomfortable silence
  • Bonus: Who the Awkward Turtle is and why it’s going to save your life
  • How you can keep a conversation going on a date
  • The power of silence: How to increase sexual tension in less than 4 seconds
  • Much more to avoid Mr Awkward Silence…

By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?

You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.

Tip #1: 7 ways to avoid awkward silence in a conversation

Without even noticing, you’ve been applying filters in certain situations.

For example, at work:

You avoid using swear words to have a professional attitude with your clients or colleagues. You’re polite and politically correct because it’s what you’re expected to be in a working atmosphere.

That’s great. These filters are very useful.

But not in every situation.

Especially not on a date with a cute girl.

When you’re on a date:

  • You want to make the conversation interesting
  • You don’t want to come across as creepy by not using certain words
  • You also want the conversation to be chill and fun

To meet these criteria, you apply filters in the conversation. Way too many filters.

Then there comes a point when you’ve used so many filters that nothing you could potentially say is good enough to get past all of them.

Say hello to Mr. Awkward Silence.

So here’s the first way to avoid awkward silence:

1. Remove filters

It might seem ironic to you, but as soon as you remove those filters, women become way more attracted to you.

If you want to know why women are attracted to guys who don’t have filters, here’s an article on what exactly makes women attracted to men:

>> 7 Underrated Things Women Find Extremely Attractive in Men

Let’s go through the 6 other ways to avoid awkward silence.

2. Ask the right questions

“How’s it going?” > “Good” > *Awkward silence*

You might be familiar with this scenario.

Ideally, your questions should be answered with more than one word. This way, any conversation will flow nicely.

So how does it work? For example, instead of asking:

  • “Did you have a good day?”


  • “What was your day like?”

“Why” questions always do the trick too.

You might need some examples though.

Right here, my friend:

>> The Only 111 Get-To-Know-You Questions for Dating You Need

3. Use the ‘Yes, and…’ rule

More about this in Tip 3

4. Look, listen and observe

Here’s something you can do right now:

Look around you and think about what catches your eye.

When I go on a date with a girl, I always enjoy doing some people-watching with her.

For example:

“Wow, look at this couple there! They’re so old! For how much time do you think they’ve been together?”

That’s a great way of having a chill atmosphere during the date and keeping the conversation going at the same time.

5. Use your body language

When you’re having a conversation, don’t just open your mouth to talk.

Use your hands, your eyes, hell, your whole body!

Having a vibrant body language is how you come across as a confident, masculine guy.

Of course, there are other ways to display masculinity. Seven ways, actually.

Because it’s such a broad topic, I had to write a full article about it. Check it out here:

>> 7  Ways to Get a More Masculine Edge (to Balance the Feminine)

6. Live in the now

When you’re talking with someone, don’t get distracted by the things that pop up in your mind.

Focus on what the other person says and sub communicates.

That’s the best way to never run out of conversation topics (more on that later.)

7. Use the Transformation Kit

The Transformation Kit is a toolkit full of conversation tricks and flirty lines to avoid awkward silences and become an attractive guy.

Get it here, it’s free!

Tip #2: The Brutal-Force method

In this tip, we’ll see how you can break any awkward silence.

First, here’s what you should never do:

  • Ask a boring question to fill in the silence

This is going to suck the energy out of the interaction and makes things even more awkward than they were before.

  • Instead, you want to use the Brutal-Force method.

What’s that?

It all comes down to one word: enthusiasm.

The truth is, what you say doesn’t matter that much. The way you react changes everything.

Whatever you do to break an unpleasant silence, do it with strength and energy.

Next time you’re dealing with an awkward silence, use this method and see how your enthusiasm helps to shift the attention to something else.

This way the conversation keeps going as if there was never a silence.

Tip #3: The “Yes, and…” rule

Here’s a tip on how to be a great conversationalist.

When you ask a question, give an opinion, or make a comment, always use the “Yes, and…” rule.

Let’s take an example:

You say:

“I went to see The Joker the other day. Wow, great acting! I loved how you get to see with so many details how someone can become a psychopathic killer. I did think the story was a bit too cliché though.”

She answers:

“Yeah, true!”

“Yeah, right… so…”

She just broke the “Yes, and…” rule.

That makes it pretty hard for you to continue the conversation.

Pro tip:

The “Yes, and…” can also take the form of the “No, and…”.

You don’t always have to agree with everyone!

Here’s how she could have reacted better:

“Yes, I couldn’t agree more. The acting was amazing but there was so much marketing build-up around the release that I think I watched it with too many expectations. I was a bit disappointed in the end.”

Now it’s much easier for you to answer and keep the conversation going strong.

So use the “Yes, and…” rule yourself as well to avoid awkward silences.

This will help you become better at keeping a conversation going with a girl.

However, if you really want to master this skill, check out this article:

>> 21 Examples of How to Keep a Conversation Going With a Girl

Tip #4: The Awkward Turtle

“When all else fails: laugh uncontrollably”

Here’s a great solution to avoid awkward silence.

Ever heard of the Awkward Turtle?

Well, try it yourself right now:

  1. Put your hands together, palms down.
  2. Move your thumbs.

That’s it!

Too silly for you? That’s the idea, my friend.

Let’s suppose you’re on a date with a girl, and suddenly here it comes: Mr. Awkward Silence.

Perform the Awkward Turtle and see how she looks at your hands with curiosity and amusement.

She asks, laughing:

“What are you doing with your hands?!”

There you go, the conversation is on again.

Not only did you just break the silence, but you also did it in a fun way.

Tip #5: How to avoid awkward silence

Usually, when a date goes wrong, it’s because you didn’t prepare it properly beforehand.

So how do you prepare a date to make a good first impression?

For example:

  • Talk to someone on the way to meet her to get in a social mood
  • Listen to some upbeat music beforehand
  • Do some sport or dance for a relaxed body and mind

“A good beginning is half the task”

If you don’t make a good first impression on a date, you’ll have to make extra effort to get the vibe back on track.

The girl will start to look for other flaws instead of focusing on the positive side of you.

However, if you make a powerful entrance, she’ll think:

“Nice, he seems like a cool guy! This date should be fine.”

Tip #6: How to increase sexual tension in less than 4 seconds

Research has shown that silences can have a strong effect on people in a social situation.

But silences don’t have to be awkward.

Let’s say you’re on a date with a beautiful girl. Suddenly the conversation dies, and here comes the silence.

Depending on how you deal with it, this silence might increase either awkwardness or sexual tension.

Yes, silences can make a girl horny as f*ck. In no more than 4 seconds.

So how do you use silence at your advantage to create sexual tension during a date?

You have to be comfortable with silence in a conversation.

It might take some practice before you achieve that (more on that in the last tip)

Once you are comfortable with silences, a few things will happen:

  • You’ll come across as self-confident
  • You’ll become more attractive
  • You’ll be able to lead the interaction
  • You’ll be able to create sexual tension in 4 seconds
  • You’ll know how to spark more exciting conversations
  • You’ll be able to actually enjoy the silence

No worries though, it’s unlikely that the date turns into a staring contest. Science shows that people have a natural urge to fill in silences.

Think about it: On a date, if there’s a silence, the girl might feel uncomfortable. But when she looks up and notices that you’re still very chill and comfortable, you’ll come across powerful, confident man.

And women are attracted to that.

Now, is it the only thing women are attracted to?

Of course not.

Read this article to know all the qualities that are attractive to women:

>> What Makes Women Attracted to Men? 11 Irresistible Qualities

Tip #7: How to make things not awkward

Here are some common mistakes most men make when dealing with embarrassing silence:

  • They look away
  • They fidget or move their body back and forth
  • They try to fill in the silence with random onomatopoeias
  • They laugh nervously

Instead, what you want to do is keep looking at her, standing there, imperturbable as a rock.

This is a great way of displaying a sexual vibe and awaken her sexual attraction.

Side note:

It can be tricky to understand how exactly female sexual attraction works.

No worries, I wrote a full article about it, check this out:

>> Sexual Attraction – 15 Things She Wants You to Know, But Will Never Tell You

It might even be the perfect time to touch her or kiss her.

The following quote says it all:

“Don’t write anything you can phone. Don’t phone anything you can talk. Don’t talk anything you can whisper. Don’t whisper anything you can smile. Don’t smile anything you can nod. Don’t nod anything you can wink.”
– Earl Long

Here’s my addition:

“Don’t wink anything you can leave in silence”

Tip #8: How to be comfortable with silence in a conversation

As discussed in Tip #6, it might take some practice before you achieve being comfortable with silence in a conversation.

So what can you do to practice?

There’s only one way: Meeting a lot of women.

Experience is the best teacher. The more dates you score; the more opportunities you have to become comfortable with silences.

“But Dan, how do I meet more women?”

No worries, man, I got you.

I created a toolkit to start dating right away.

It includes all of the best tips for making yourself an attractive man.

You get:

  • The best opening lines to get her hooked
  • How to get out of the friendzone and be her lover
  • Steal my lines for more entertaining conversations online and offline
  • Step-by-step instructions for attracting women
  • And much more…

You can find it all in my Transformation Kit. Download it here, it’s free!

Your bro,
Dan de Ram

Stop awkward conversations
and painful rejections

My free Transformation Kit will make you irresistible to women.

  • 12 Opening Lines that Actually Work
  • 5 Date Generating Texting Tips (Plus Copy-Paste Lines for Tinder)
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