How To Be Irresistible To Women: 13 Things That Turn Her On

In this article you’ll learn:

  • How to make yourself irresistible: The deepest needs of a woman and how you fulfill them (unlike most men)
  • How to become irresistible to women (and/ or your girlfriend) through simple masculinity and self-confidence hacks
  • Why women want to feel a connection to you and how you build it up as light as a feather
  • What makes a man irresistible? The 5-step plan of physical touch that makes women want more
  • How you deal with drama like a boss
  • And many more surprising insights on how to become one of THE most irresistible men…

By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?

You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.

Before we begin:

Listen, my friend. I have something to tell you that you may not have known:

Women are humans.

And humans have needs, just like you.

Yet men act as if these needs don’t exist.

This is because they assume that women and men have the same inner drives.

Look, I don’t usually get along very well with feminists, but I’m actually very much in favor of there being no financial or legal differences between the sexes. Hello, it’s the 21st fucking century…

I can tell you one thing, though: If you treat a woman the way you’d like to be treated yourself, you’re going to have a tough time.

On a sexual level, men and women are very different.

To deny these differences is to suffer; to know them is to understand; to exploit them is to seduce.

See, this is why feminists don’t like me. Well…

Mirror, mirror on the wall…

Now that this has been cleared up, let’s start right away with a thought experiment that you have probably never done before:

Imagine you have a vagina. Yes, you read that right! You’re a woman now. You’re sexy, hot and in the prime of your life.

Usually, you dress rather casually when you go to a bar, but today you dressed up really nice. Your girlfriend goes to the bathroom and you wait for her at the bar.

Suddenly someone taps you on the shoulder. You turn around and a man stands in front of you (who’s also you in this thought experiment) and looks at you.

How would you feel?

Would you be comfortable? Would you be interested? Would you go home with yourself? How would the sex be? What happens between you and you afterwards?

What I’m trying to tell you with this tricky thought experiment

It’s convenient to hold up a mirror to yourself.

Through this way you can identify aspects of your appearance that are more or less attractive and then work on them in a targeted manner.

I used to do this all the time. Whenever a woman rejected, I would always ask myself the following questions:

  1. What could I have done better in this conversation?
  2. Would it have worked on myself?

Doing this constantly you can make rapid progress.

The problem is that sometimes you don’t know what women find attractive in men.

Or worse, some men even have a completely wrong picture of it.

Fortunately, this article will give you the answers to all questions you may have:

>> Seducing a Woman Over Text – 7 Examples of Building Tension

What do women find attractive in men?

Every woman goes through different phases in her life. At the same time, the values and norms that the perfect man should have in her eyes also change.

In practice, this can’t be generalized that much, however if she has just turned 18, she’s more likely to be open to meaningless one-night stands.

The older she gets; the louder her biological clock ticks and she tends to look for a steady relationship.

But black and white thinking won’t get you very far with women. Every woman is unique and individually spirited.

But does that mean that you have to behave differently towards every woman? No.

It’s most effective to know the principles of attraction. These are the needs of EVERY woman… no matter what stage of her life she’s in.

If you don’t know these principles, sooner or later she will leave you. If she’s ever interested in you at all.

The word “principles” may now sound complex or vague. But if you don’t let yourself be distracted by the different, superficial manifestations and dive deep into the ocean of attraction, you come across the 13 underlying needs of a woman.

What these are and how you fulfill them, you will find out as soon as you’re ready to enter my submarine of knowledge. I’ll hold the hatch for you, comrade.

What are women attracted to? – #1: Fun

You have probably clicked on this article to gather information about how to get women.

I fully respect that. It’s great that you’re taking this “problem” single-mindedly by the balls.

However, many men get stuck in the theory of seduction and forget that it’s a game.

It’s a game between man and woman, designed to be enjoyed.

Women look for men who know this truth and live by it.

Any man who takes flirting far too seriously and sticks to techniques and routines is retired without mercy.

You know what you need to understand clearly?

Women see your first impression as a kind of foretaste.

If you just act boring, extremely serious and dispassionate, she’ll understandably not imagine what it would be like in bed with you.

It would be like two starfish lying on top of each other on dry asphalt at low tide: Absolutely boring…

So as long as you stay calm, it’s perfectly ok if everything isn’t always perfect.

It’s a game and you have to play it yourself right now.

Think about what she’ll get for a taste if you do everything on a fun basis.

>> How To Be Playful? 3 Must-Have Tips + 7 Examples

Irresitible quality #2: Self irony

What do you feel when hear the following remarks:

“Check my Rolex.”

“I’ve already achieved my financial goal for the year.”

“I drive a Mercedes.”

Right. A feeling of unbearableness is immediately on your stomach.

But these are extreme examples.

Let me guess. With a lower degree of sophistication, you’ve made that one mistake with women, too:

You sell yourself.

Many men try to convince women what a great man they would be for them.

Not cool!

Which is much more effective to achieve the opposite of it:

Goof off yourself.

If you succeed in this lightheartedly, you will immediately stand out from the crowd.

There’s one thing you should make a rule: No more boring answers to boring questions.

This not only makes the conversation more interesting but also makes it clear that you aren’t desperately trying to get her.

Let’s do it this way: I’ll give you a few examples that you can either shamelessly copy or use as inspiration for your own answers. All you have to do is promise me to don’t be so fucking serious all the time. Deal?

  • “What are you studying?” – I’m training to become a penguin instructor.
  • “What do you do?” – I’m a panda porn producer. My English teacher back then would be proud of this alliteration.
  • “How old are you?” – Too old/young for you. (If you’re much older than her, say “too young” and vice versa.)
  • Where are you from?” I’m from Japan, but my parents are from Korea.
  • “What do you do?“: …

If you want to go one step further, you can embellish your little story with pictorial details.

For example, let’s make the answer to the question “Where are you from?” even more interesting.

It may be as follows:

“I’m from Japan, but my parents are from Korea. I know it’s hard to imagine that about me. But I just eat too many potatoes. Potatoes have the potential to bring out your eyes even more, did you know that?”

What you say exactly is secondary. It’s HOW you say it that gives this story its charm.

It depends on subcommunication – to be more specific: Non-verbal communication.

Did you know that the actual “text” only makes up 7 to 19% of all communication? On a non-verbal level you communicate many times more.

>> Keeping Her Interested by Being Interesting – 9 Timeless Tips

Irresitible quality #3: Unfiltered speech

We all know this and I too am affected sometimes.

A beautiful woman stands before you.

Long legs, sexy outfit, long hair… just your type.

But can you manage to have a normal conversation with her?

No, not at all.

Everything you want to say first goes through a filter of limiting doubts like:

  • Is that good enough for her?”
  • “Is she going to like this?”
  • “Isn’t that too direct?”

The result?

You ask the most boring questions or don’t know what to say.

This situation is so unpleasant that many men fear it so much that they prefer not to even dare to approach a strange woman.

But seriously, what the hell are you doing?

You aren’t yourself… Not cool!

Turn off the bloody filter in your head.

What pops in your head and what you say should be in alignment.

“But, Dan, does she really want to hear all this?”

I don’t give a shit what she wants to hear! She wants to experience YOU. Not some kid-friendly wannabe version of you.

When you talk to your buddies, one fucked-up story after another comes out. Ambiguous remarks, dirty jokes, teasing… And all without you even thinking about it first.

That’s why you’re such good buddies in the first place.

As long as you have a big grin on your face and say it as if it were just a spontaneous thought, she won’t resent what eventually comes out of your mouth.

(And if she dos, you can always take a step back.)

>> 10 Proven Ways to Become More Attractive

Irresitible quality #4: Leadership

Many men are confused.

You may have heard that women like it when the man takes the lead, but at the same time a female crowd with posters and flags gathers in the city center and roars:

“More leadership positions for women!”

But bro… that’s a whole different thing!

Just because women want to be legally and financially equal doesn’t mean that male behavior doesn’t make them melt them like a Bunsen burner a piece of butter.

For example, take the following question she might ask:

“What dress should I wear today, darling? The black or the blue one?”

Standard answers from the Average Andy would be:

“Whatever you like” or “Whatever, they both look great on you.”

You have probably heard such answers before, or perhaps even put them in your mouth.

Men don’t understand the problem. “Why doesn’t she just take any and BASTA?!” they think.

But you have to understand that in such a situation, the woman wants to appreciate your male decision-making power.

So just decide quickly and clearly:

“I’d take the black one, but most importantly, you should feel comfortable in it yourself.”

Boom! Now she can relax again and is already planning to pamper you hot in bed the same evening as soon as she takes off her black dress.

I really want to make it clear to you:

Women want to be led in matters of love.

Otherwise she wouldn’t even ask your opinion.

In fact, leadership is so effective that even if you do lack everything else you will get results.

However, when it comes to leadership, you should avoid two things:

  • Let the woman make most of the decisions.
  • Impose leadership on her.

You’re the boss and if you like to take over this part without being a must for you, she will love to follow you.

As a man, it’s essential to have a plan or a kind of script ready.

Only then can a woman really let herself go and enjoy your lead without worries. Women love to be a film character who doesn’t know the script.

Good leadership shows masculinity and self-confidence.

We will now delve deeper into these two terms so that you can understand fundamentally what they mean.

>> 9 Tips to Get and Keep a Casual Sex Relationship

Irresitible quality #5: Masculinity

You think you’re automatically masculine just because you’re a man?

Oh, far from it. I know women more virile than the average dude.

If you want to be successful with the ladies, there is no way around working on your masculinity.


Because masculinity and femininity are opposites.

  • Opposite poles cause tension.
  • Tension causes emotions.
  • Emotions cause desire and lust.

What if YOU were the cause of it? Simple: Then she will feel a deep desire for you.


You can read more about the topic “masculinity” and how you develop it in this article:

>> 7 Ways to Get a More Masculine Edge (to Balance the Feminine)

Irresitible quality #6: Self-confidence

In the presence of a beautiful woman, a lack of self-confidence can quickly develop.

Your thoughts block you and you no longer dare to show your sexuality openly.

Real men lead confidently and calmly because they’re 100% convinced that they’re enough. For ANY woman.

Silence creates tension.

However, during a hot flirt you’re often not able to handle this tension properly.

You then break off eye contact more often, wiggle back and forth or giggle all the time.

You should be aware of these nervous behaviors and avoid them in the presence of a woman.

It should even be your goal to trigger these behaviors in a woman. Only then will the right tension be created and she will feel attracted to you.

When you stay calm with a woman, this is the ultimate proof of ice-cold self-confidence.

I hear you ask.

“How do you create tension being silent?”

Well, it’s actually quite simple:

By being silent and looking deep into her eyes.

Let HER break the silence, let HER release the tension through nervous moves.

She can also derive your level of confidence from your voice.

With the right use of your voice, you can convey emotions and put words in the right light.

This is extremely important when you’re telling stories or taking the lead.

However, I find that most men usually use their voice incorrectly. Everything they say sounds like a question. The voice always goes up at the end of the sentence.

This is the ultimate proof of uncertainty and doubt.

No. You’re a confident man with a plan, and YOU are in charge. You have to demonstrate that in a deep, manly voice.

If you doubt the importance of the voice, read the interesting scientific findings on this in this study.

Aspects that play a role here are:

  • Volume: You should always make sure that she can hear what you say. This shows that you believe in yourself and what you say.
  • Tempo: If you want to remain calm in the presence of a woman, a calm pace of speech will help you.
  • Articulation: You should pronounce all syllables clearly. If you mumble, a lot of effect is lost.
  • Intonation: Your intonation is especially important when telling stories. Avoid monotonous yada yada yada. By pacing up and down with your voice at the right moments, you add more tension to your storytelling.

But the best testimony of ice-cold self-confidence is to DO THING WITHOUT HESITATION.

Shameless, unreasonable and without justifying yourself.

So, the next time you’re on a date with a woman you like and you have to keep looking at her lips…

… you just kiss her. Without hesitation and without asking her first.

You just do it.

>> 11 Tips to Show More Confidence with Girls, at Work & in Life

“But, Dan, she sometimes refuses one of my plans. Has she rejected me now?”

No. If she really wasn’t into you, she would have left long ago. Hold on!

Irresitible quality #7: Tower of strength

Women detest drama, right?


It’s not for nothing that soaps, crime series and reality shows teem with revenge plans, affairs and cliffhangers.

I know you’d like it less complicated. I’d also prefer a woman to go straight to my bed… Google, maybe that would be a good idea for a new Maps feature?

But wait, now that I think about it, it would be kind of boring without drama…

Whether we like it or not, it’s one of those things a man MUST be able to handle.

The shit between man and woman is often hits the fan… And when that happens, you have to turn hard drama into soft smoothies like a fruit ninja.

Don’t let her drama get to you.

“But how do I do it best?”

Watch this clip from the James Bond movie “Spectre” and notice how calm the agent remains despite the drama…

He neither justifies himself nor gets upset. He knows that her angry emotions will calm down by themselves and trusts in his inner calmness.

It’s mostly about what you don’t do.

Irresitible quality #8: Emotions

Which brings us straight to the next point.

Many men try to seduce women with logic.

“It takes about 8 minutes for the sunlight to reach the earth,” he says, believing that he has now impressed her with his intelligence…

Unfortunately, she’s so bored by the conversation that she leaves it faster than the sun’s rays reach our planet.

Women want to experience emotions. Both positive and negative ones.

And you have to give them to her.

“Whoa, Dan, wait a minute! Any negative emotions? But then she won’t like me, right?”

I understand your concerns; I used to have them, too. But nothing is less true.

Why do you think women like assholes so much?

They may not be the perfect partner for her, but at least they let them experience a range of emotions.

These cause a wider range of feelings and thus a strong desire.

If you let this desire arise verbally, then it’s called “flirting” … Another basic female need.

>> The 9 Keys to WhatsApp Flirting + Easily Stealable Texts

Irresitible quality #9: Flirting

Flirting is a collective term and can be done in a variety of ways. But the centuries-old saying best sums it up:

“Teasing is a sign of affection.”

And… it’s true.

Teasing is an excellent method to arouse emotions. You annoy her playfully.

Now you may think that “annoy” isn’t such a great word, but I chose it deliberately.

Because when you’re annoyed, you get warm.

And now let’s be honest… How bad is it when a woman gets warm because of you? 😉

The important thing is that you always have a huge grin on your face when you do this.

There are many ways to tease her. For example, by making statements about her that are either completely false or exaggerated.

“You seem like a sweet girl from the village. Someone who lives without time, gets up when the rooster crows and milks the cows in the morning.”

If you want to become a flirt master, read this article. It contains the most important tips that you can still apply tonight:

>> 7 Steps To Turn The Tables – How to Make Her Chase You

Irresitible quality #10: Physical contact

Touches – a forgotten language that says more than 1000 words.

When you look around you quickly realize that it’s a language feared by many men.

And yet it’s so powerful. As we have already explained, a woman wants to feel something… words aren’t enough after a while.

The human skin is the most versatile organ in terms of reception and it offers a large surface area.

Use them!


Touching must be build up.

You shouldn’t grab her between her legs first. Yeah, I know you’d like to do that. You piglet.

You might be able to do that with your sister if that’s your thing (Lannister style), but not with a woman you just met.

To give you an idea how to build up touches, I have created a simple 5-step plan for you:

  1. To attract attention, you can tap the outside of her hand.
  2. Put your hand gently on her shoulder while you speak into her ear.
  3. Put your arm around her (to her other shoulder).
  4. Get close to her. Now you can easily hold her lower back when talking or dancing.
  5. Get her hands. You can also put them around your neck (my favorite move).

Always pay attention whether she allows your touch or takes a step back.

You notice the latter? Then step back! Or she’ll be gone in seconds.

However, as long as she accepts your touch or even touches you back, you can continue shamelessly until you’re on your way to your bedroom.

There you can finally touch her between her legs.

>> How To Satisfy a Woman in Bed: 7 Tips for Breathtaking Orgasms

Irresitible quality #11: Connection

Many men mistakenly assume that they have to be like James Bond in front of women: Always cool, totally fearless and emotionally cold.

But what does she see?

A self-confident man lacking in depth.

Emotional closeness is a deep human need that you can satisfy through a sense of connection.

But how can you make a connection with a woman?

Connections ALWAYS arise on the emotional level. Factual exchange of information hardly connects at all.

So, what you have to learn isn’t only to say that you like to skate, for example, but also to say why you do it. As soon as you give the reasons for your motivation, you go one level deeper.

Let’s just stick to an example.

“And what do you like doing?”

“I love skating… It gives me a feeling of freedom because there are no rules. You can express yourself with your movements as you like. That freedom, in combination with the wind on your skin, when you’re riding on high speed, feels like you’re flying.”

I’ll explain why this works:

The feeling of freedom is something that we all know and can feel in the most diverse situations.

You can also experience it while dancing, cycling or drawing. Even if she has absolutely nothing to do with skating, she can connect with this emotion.

Then you understand each other on a deeper level.

The second part of your imaginary answer contains details.

You help her to recreate your “scene”. She can now fill in the missing details herself based on similar memories and revive these feelings.

There is so much more to say on this subject. If you want to go down the rabbit hole completely so that women will hold on to you, read this article:

>> How To Make A Connection: 7 Tips To Easily Connect With Girls

Irresitible quality #12: Value

We spend a lot of money on this. As soon as a renowned brand logo decorates a product, we consider it more valuable.


Because it creates a feeling of exclusivity in us.

“But, how does it work with women?”

This isn’t about material value!

You won’t impress women with money alone for long.

Let me explain it to you like this: We only buy something if we hope to get some added value out of it. Right or right?

Interpersonal relationships are considered valuable when we possess two things:

  1. Charisma
  2. Charisma

Oh man, charisma is so important, I can’t repeat it enough.

I said “charisma,” not “appearance.” There’s a big difference.

You can also make a good impression with cheap clothes, a crooked nose and a purulent pimple on your forehead. True charisma comes from INSIDE.

You’ll find out here how to make it noticeably better.

Irresitible quality #13: Authentic sexual expression

Who dares to show his sexual side openly nowadays?

To avoid rejection, many men prefer to play it safe by always being friendly, sweet and kind.

Why the hell would a woman show you her sexual side when you’re hiding your own?

She has a lot more to lose than you! She could end up getting labeled a “bitch” and have her reputation ruined. At least in the eyes of society…


As a man, you should ALWAYS make the first move. No matter what it is.

If you want her to behave sexually towards you, then you must first behave sexually!

Only then does she see you as a potential sex partner.

It all becomes rather easy, once you’ve transformed yourself in a highly attractive man.

One that women will line up for to get a minute of his precious time.

My free Transformation Kit will help you become an attractive man.

Detailed explanation and step by step plans will guide you.

Get your Transformation Kit right here!

And talk to a woman on the way.

Now you finally know exactly what attracts women to men. But now there are no more excuses!

I’m curious about your questions and experiences.

You got this!

Dan de Ram

Stop awkward conversations
and painful rejections

My free Transformation Kit will make you irresistible to women.

  • 12 Opening Lines that Actually Work
  • 5 Date Generating Texting Tips (Plus Copy-Paste Lines for Tinder)
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