How To Be More Interesting – 8 Ways to Captivate Her Heart & Mind

You have puberty behind you and, therefore, purulent pimples on your boy-face, embarrassing straight hairstyles, and a questionable taste in music. Or maybe you’re still in the middle of it.

Anyway, you’re already growing hair on your balls, so it’s no wonder you’re wondering:

“How do I become interesting to women?”

That’s not a bad question, homie. In fact, I could write entire books about it.

Nevertheless, I was kind enough to look at some points for your reading and learning pleasure in this article.

You get:

  • 3 Interests killers who ruin everything (interesting people don’t do THIS)
  • Why it helps if some women find you ugly
  • 5 things to generate immediate interest (and become the most interesting man you can be)
  • One kick in the ass to take action today
  • And much more…

By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?

You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.

Why you don’t know how to get women interested

You’re certainly not the only one wondering how to be more interesting to women.

Not only my years of experience as a dating coach have shown me time and again that most men have no clue about it.

This theory is also underpinned by evocative statistics, such as this one:

Did you know that you have twice as many females as male ancestors? This is the result of genetic research at the University of Arizona, among others.

And you know what that means?

In simple terms, this means that every woman has procreated, but only every second man.

And I don’t think today is any different…

So while this second man is enjoying himself sexually, the other man looks stupidly out of his underwear and wonders how he can become more interesting for women.

But you must understand one thing, brochacho:

It’s not just theoretical knowledge…

… but mainly about PRACTICAL knowledge.

So you can ponder as long you want. If you don’t actively experience again and again that you are having a strong effect on the female sex, you won’t get far.

And once you know how to arouse the interest of women, you can’t rest on your laurels. You have to keep it rolling, or you’ll forget all about it…

Not for nothing do I coach a lot of men who tell me:

“Dan, I used to be amazing with women, but now I just came out of a 5-year relationship, and I have no idea how to proceed…”

So today I’m going to give you practical tips that you can implement immediately. So you won’t only theoretically know how to be more interesting to women, but you’ll experience it yourself.

But first, you should know this:

3 Interests killers: Do THIS, and you die single

I may be dramatizing. But I just want to make 100% sure that you don’t have any of these 3 behaviors or if you do, that you banish them from your system as soon as possible.

Interest killer #1: Neediness

Perhaps you know this phenomenon from somewhere:

The women we want don’t want us, and the women who want us we don’t want.

Why is that?

It’s straightforward.

>> 33 Best Things To Do on a Date to Create Epic Memories.

It’s due to neediness.

Neediness is attractive neither to women nor to men. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that needy women are even more likely to get away than men.

With women, it can sometimes be quite sweet, but even a touch of neediness suddenly weakens a man’s attraction.


  • Because it signalizes that you are dependent on others.
  • Because it shows that you don’t seem to have a higher mission (more about that later).
  • Because it’s associated with needy infants, which is why you are more likely to arouse their maternal instincts than their sexual drives.
  • Because that way she knows she can have you anytime, which destroys the thrill.
  • Because it sub-communicates that you have no other women in your life.

But you’re not stupid. You probably know yourself that neediness isn’t an attractive quality.

What you may not know is how to get rid of it.

Well, this wouldn’t be an AttractionGym article if I didn’t give you practical tips that you can use immediately:

  • Do a ‘comfort zone challenge’: For example, lie down comfortably on the floor in a shopping mall or play air guitar in the city center. This trains your brain to not give a fuck what others (and especially your desired one) think of you.
  • Use neediness as a compass: As soon as I feel neediness, I see it as a sign that my life isn’t exciting enough right now. So go on an adventure or focus on your career. When your life is epic, you sometimes forget that women even exist.
  • Use my smartphone hack: This may seem like a small thing, but it works wonders for me. As soon as I notice that I like a woman more than she likes me, I change her name in my contacts to ‘Ok,’ ‘You don’t need her’ or ‘Mrs. Average’. So every time she texts me, I’m reminded that there is no reason to put her on a pedestal.
  • Ask yourself why you want this woman so much: I remember a woman I wanted so badly. But then I started to wonder why I wanted her at all. The reason: because she’s overly pretty. Apart from that, nothing about her really appealed to me. I couldn’t even imagine that sex with her would be good. And what use is her beauty to me then? Ironically, I did sleep with her as soon as I didn’t want her anymore (and the sex was indeed average at best…)

I once heard best-selling author Mark Manson say that the degree of your attraction is directly related to the degree of your neediness.

This is, of course, a simplified statement – in reality, several factors are involved. Nevertheless, I think it’s a useful perspective.

So, become a needy professional killer, and you’ll automatically look much more interesting, even if you haven’t changed anything else.

>> Do Looks Matter to Women? The Brutal Truth (+ 10 Tips).

Interest killer #2: Jealousy

Even Shakespeare called jealousy ‘the Green-Eyed Monster’ back then.

From this alone, you can see that it’s a quality that an attractive man shouldn’t possess.

I’ve written more about this topic:

>> How Not to Be Jealous in a Relationship, Is It Possible? 3 Best Ways

So I’ll keep it short here.

The only thing I want to add today:

It’s ok to feel jealous. But it’s no excuse for becoming a jealous bitch.

I get that feeling a lot when another guy hits on one of my girlfriends. When that happens, I have several options:

  • I can grant her that.
  • I can make friends with this guy.
  • I can take her by the hand and lead her away from him.
  • I can invite him to a three-way.
  • I can outshine him with my charisma.

All of these are serious options.

Becoming unbearable and whining all over her isn’t an option.

Speaking of whining…

Interests killer #3: Whining

“Help, I’m too fat…”

“My girlfriend left me, and I’m still hung up on her…”

“I don’t know how to go on…”

“I will never find a girlfriend…”


There’s hardly anything that makes you as unattractive as whining.

Side note:

I don’t mean that a man shouldn’t cry. You can cry all you want. It’s important not to suppress negative emotions, because otherwise you store them in your system and suppress positive emotions as well.

Cry for all I care but don’t whine.

By whining, I mean the unnecessary sobbing, which doesn’t do you or your counterpart any good.

  • ‘I’m way too fat…’ → change something about it or accept it, but don’t whine.
  • ‘My girlfriend left me, and I’m still hung up on her…’ → Win her back or forget her, but don’t whine
  • ‘I don’t know how to go on…’ → Find out for yourself or get help, but don’t whine.
  • ‘I will never find a girlfriend…’ → Work on your seduction skills and get to know many women, but don’t whine.

Frankly, I don’t understand why we humans whine at all. We probably love to be pitied by others (and pity ourselves) in a perverted way.

In any case, it DOESN’T help and only makes you less interesting to women than a blade of grass.

When I was 16, I cried to my then best friend that I’ll never get a girlfriend. She still disses for that today. She’s right because it was pathetic…

Another story:

I once asked a woman what her WORST date was.

Her answer:

“I once had coffee with a man, and he kept talking about his ex-girlfriend and then started crying.”

Yeah, you read it right. That was her worst date. Not the one with that shady stalker guy.

That should make you realize how unattractive whining is.

The next time you’re on the verge of whining, for example, watch this clip from ‘The Revenant’:

Or think about what your ancestors had to go through for you whiners even to exist.

If they heard what you were sobbing about while they survived the ice age, killed mammoths, or died in world wars, they would turn in their graves.

So, give me your best brofist and let’s make a pact together:

From today on, no whining.

And when we do, we catch ourselves, and we stop right there and then.



Be interesting at the touch of a button through these 5 things

Laser focus

A man has goals in life that can motivate, inspire, and put proud male tears into his eyes.

>> How to Tinder: The Ultimate Beginner’s Guide in 2020.

My opinion is hard but accurate:

If you don’t have those higher purposes, then you’re not a man, honey.

Without goals, you are like a leaf in the wind: disoriented and manipulable. Not a good plan.

It’s much better to have a clear course.

This gives your meaningless existence (we are literally nothing more than stardust in an endless universe) an apparent meaning.

A nice bonus is, of course, that you then arouse gigantic interest in women.

Maybe you’re wondering why women go for single-minded men like that.

The short answer: It gives them security.

Being with a leaf in the wind is a risky business. Maybe the wind will push it in the right direction. Maybe the wind is merciful, or maybe the leaf is lucky.

But can one rely on it? Life isn’t always peace, joy, pancakes, my friend. Often the winds of life are merciless.

But if you always manage – no matter how strong the wind is blowing – aiming at your goals, then women can assume that you want to lead a successful life in the long run (there are always ups and downs).

Independent of the weather conditions.

What does this mean in practice?

Well, for example, let’s assume you are a passionate boxer and are currently in preparation for a competition.

Would you cancel training to meet a woman?

Please don’t…

Either you can do both, or your goal comes first.

Master the art of storytelling

The other day I had a first date and told the girl about this one, an epic night when young, cocky Dan was camping in his mother’s garden.

Take a deep breath, because it’s about the $1,000,000 question…

How do you think the woman reacted to that story?

  1. A) She thought, ‘What a weird guy…’ and left the date.
  2. B) She fell into shock and had to be taken to hospital
  3. C) She replied that this is the worst story she has ever heard
  4. D) She listened intently, giggled girlishly and 20 minutes later was lying on the couch in Casa del Dano

Do you need a fifty-fifty lifeline?

Too bad, you won’t get it, because it should be easy to answer.

The correct answer is D.

There are, of course, several other things I have done (for example, I kissed her in a park), but the art of storytelling has undoubtedly contributed to her coming to me.

I can imagine that two questions arise now.

  1. Why does good storytelling arouse the interest of women?

It proves that you are enthusiastic about life. This enthusiasm is highly contagious, and almost everyone wants to have people around them who love life.

It demonstrates some other things that I won’t go into in this article. It’s also not necessary, because I think you are aware that it’s a useful skill.

Which brings us to the second question:

  1. How does one learn the art of storytelling?

There are 1001 ways to learn them, and maybe I will make them more concrete for you some time (in the form of a video course or a book, for example).

But until then, it’s a brilliant idea just to start writing. Writing allows you to think about how you can make your sentences more exciting, more captivating.

For example, look out the window and write 1000 words about the tree you see.

Write about how he was just a baby tree, how he resisted the hard nature, how many stories he had to listen to. Maybe he even had a couple of fuck beneath his branches (?)… let your creativity run wild and make sure to make the story as gripping as possible.

At some point, it will affect the way you speak.

What you should keep in mind, though:

The more enthusiastic your voice, gestures, and facial expressions are, the less captivating the wording of your sentences must be to arouse the interest of women.

>> 39 Fun Things To Do Your with Girlfriend That Will Make Her Happy.

Don’t be a human question mark

To put it more clearly:

Avoid boring questions whose answers don’t even interest you as if it were a matter of life and death.

Boring conversations make you uninteresting in seconds.

So don’t ask women questions like:

  • ‘Where are you from?’
  • ‘What are you studying?’
  • ‘What is your hobby?’

This is unless you are genuinely interested in her answer.

But even if you are, it’s always better to turn your questions into statements. For example, instead of asking her where she comes from, you could make the following statement:

“You seem like someone who grew up in the village. For years, you lived without an alarm clock and let your favorite rooster wake you in the morning.”

Now you’ve turned a boring question into a funny statement. And the good thing is: After that, you can still ask where she comes from.

So there isn’t anything to lose and a lot to gain.

I already know that you underestimate this principle. It just sounds too simple. But humans are just too primitive.

Our coaching students are always amazed at how positive the reactions are when they make statements to which I always think: ‘What’s there to be amazed about, of course, it works.’

Pimp your style

I’m certainly not a prime example. I never cared about styling, style, fashion, or any of that shit.

Maybe it’s the same with you. Maybe you don’t burn for it. You don’t have to.

I can only assure you from personal experience that it had a significant impact on my appeal when I started to pay a little more attention to my style.

This study shows that the first impression is strongly dependent on the clothing worn at that specific moment.

This means: If your outward appearance isn’t appealing, you make it difficult for women to get a good impression of you.

If you neglect your style, you’ll miss many dates with hot señoritas.

You’ll also find that a new and interesting style of clothing will strengthen your self-esteem.

You can find essential styling tips here:

>> 10 Tips – Dress to Impress for Men (Ladies LOVE This)

Don’t be another brick in the wall

@@@@how to be an interesting man

If you want to look interesting to women in a flash, you want to stand out from the crowd.

That takes courage. The courage that many men don’t have.

And courage is impressive, which is why this principle of standing out works so well.

Of course, your dress style is part of it here as well. But now I’m talking about your behavior.

Men want to please women. It’s understandable. But you don’t succeed by adapting your behavior and opinions to them.

For example, if you like meat and she tells you she’s a proud vegan, don’t tell her that you…

  • Had for breakfast vegan chia pudding with soy yoghurt
  • Had for lunch green cucumber salad with bamboo shoots
  • And had for dinner, coconut tofu with Asian Savoy cabbage.

Tell her openly and honestly that you eat meat, even if it isn’t what she wants to hear.

When you do that, it creates tension.

Tension is uncomfortable, that’s for sure. But tension is never boring.

You also demonstrate that you aren’t a spineless turd who lets others tell him how to behave.

You show that you stand by yourself.

If you like to walk around in purple shorts, wear glasses that nobody else likes but you, or like to take theater classes, then DO EXACTLY THAT!

A study by OkCupid has even shown:

The more people are uncertain about you, the more attractive you are perceived on average.

To find out what your needs, opinions, and preferences are and carry them out into the outside world like a proud, shining armor.

How to use your newly gained vibe

Being interesting shouldn’t be a problem anymore.

However, turning the interest of the opposite sex into a flirty vibe and perhaps even toward a more sexually charged situation is something else.

Something I explain in detail in my free Transformation Kit.

It contains my best dating advice for both online and offline dating.

With it you will transform your interesting look into attractive magnetism.

Oof, imagine the ladies…

Anyway, get your Transformation Kit for free right here.

Your bro,
Dan de Ram

Stop awkward conversations
and painful rejections

My free Transformation Kit will make you irresistible to women.

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  • 5 Date Generating Texting Tips (Plus Copy-Paste Lines for Tinder)
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