3 Ways to Break Up With Girlfriend Nicely (the Way She’d Want It)

how to break up with girlfriend

Of all the women you’ve met, you were sure…

You really thought it was her.

Whether you have been together for weeks, months or even years.

The lady at your side turns out to be more and more clearly, the absolute opposite:

She’s not the one you thought she was.

You wished by heart that things would be different. All the experiences, all the time together… but no.

It cannot go on like this.

You feel the need to break up with your girlfriend. It would be better for you and better for her.

However, breaking up with someone is not the easiest thing to do. And you know it. Is it possible to break up with someone nicely?

Good thing you’re here, because:

  • How to break up nicely: Know when and how to break up and save yourself from shattered feelings
  • Why you should be a dick to protect your future ex from hell on earth
  • What you can learn from The Purge to give your life a glorious new beginning
  • My #1 breakup advice that will give your new single life a HUGE boost
  • And much more break up advice…

By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?

You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.

Be it because…

In any case, you are aware of one crucial thing:

“I want to break up with my girlfriend.”

However, you feel a throbbing fear inside you…

It’s a little thought that you just can’t get rid of:

”What if she hates me afterward?”

You can already see it in your mind’s eye how she falls into endless hate speeches after your breakup move and spams on her social media profiles posts like these:

And that while commenting you under them with bitterness explaining to the world what a horrible pig you are.

Holy shit.

But before you panic any further – take a deep breath, bro.

The story of my break up

It’s winter.

The year 2014 is ending.

The clock strikes three hours to midnight on a Thursday when a call comes in.

I stare at my phone.

It’s her…


Pitch-black hair, emerald green eyes, an enthusiastic volleyball player with an obsession for dancing…

…and a weakness for alcohol.

Julie and I have been dating for months.

I have much affection for her, but I don’t love her.

Every hour, she asks me where I am via voice messages, followed by a 10-line ‘I miss you’ text and all this even though she lives only 15 minutes away from me…

I am more than aware of her desire for a monogamous relationship with me – but also, of her humongous degree of emotional instability…

I was less experienced at the time.

She was hellishly hot, the sex was more animalistic than in caveman times, and she was incredibly sweet to me.

At that time, this was perfectly enough for me to date a woman on a long-term basis.

Back to the story.

So, when she calls me at 9:00 p.m., I answer her call with a ‘Hey.

She invited some friends to her place and asked me to keep their company to watch Breaking Bad and have a cocktail.

Although I have the next day off, which she also knows, I cannot get excited about her proposition.

I hadn’t only completed an endless seeming, long working day and needed a little more time for myself.


In NOT ONE cell of my body, I feel the need to see her.

Do I like her? Sure, I do.

But do I feel the need to see her more than once a week? Nope.

I tell her I’m tired, and I don’t want to come over anymore. What I keep from her, however, is that I cannot reciprocate her attraction for me to the same extent.

She calls me again an hour later.


“My friends are gone now, Dan. Please come over. I miss you so much.”

I reject her offer with a determined ‘no, thank you.’.

“Are you sure about this? By the way, I have new lingerie to present to you. ;)”

”Yeah, tonight’s not the night for that. I’ll call you again this weekend, Julie.”

She sounds heartily disappointed.

An hour later, she calls again. This time I’m not picking up.

She leaves a voice mail.

I listen to it.

”Come to the Irish Pub – Hanna, Derek, Nina and everyone else is here too!”

Now it becomes crystal clear to me that at least 20 more calls are awaiting me that same night.

Julie demands a lot of attention from me. But when she drinks, her longing for me reaches an insatiable level.

30 minutes go by – et voilà – she calls again as already suspected.

A feeling of guilt flows through my body.

This time I’m taking the call.

She cries. Bitterly. With an audibly thick load of snot in her petite nose.

”You’re embarrassing me in front of my friends right now. Why don’t you come over?”

If there is one thing that makes my stomach turn more abruptly than a rollercoaster ride, it’s:

A woman who cries because of me.

I do everything I can to calm her down.


‘She’s drunk, there’s no point talking to her,’ I keep telling myself until I finally decide to hang up.

A few minutes later, she calls again. I turn it down. Once again, she leaves a voice mail.

I’m not listening to it.

A moment later, she calls again… and again… and again…

I’m turning my phone off.

Next morning, I turn my electronic typewriter back on.

37 voice mails pop up…

… and a text message:

Sorry about yesterday, I was really drunk. Please don’t be mad at me. I’ll behave myself tonight.

I tell her:

I don’t think I’ll be seeing you anytime soon…

Then I delete her number and all her voicemails (without listening to them for even a second).

This was the only time in my entire life that I had broken off contact with a lady via a crummy text message.

Do I recommend that you do the same?

No way.

Although it’s frighteningly easy to end a relationship via ‘text.’ It is even concluded is various research.

It’s the most disrespectful asshole move you can make.

Even if she throws your favorite hamster in the blender and sends you over 30 drunk voice mails for the 10th time in three weeks.

”How to break up with my girlfriend?” – 3 simple tips

Unlike the past Dan, we at AttractionGym have a different approach.

So, now is the time to give you the best tips on how to go separate ways with your future ex in a respectful manner and without unnecessary drama.

Tip #1: Prevent Standing Ovations (when to break up advice)

If we Homo Sapiens hear terrible news, we often don’t know how to react.

Especially when the Breaking News is the breakup wish of a beloved one.

Since there is indeed a kind of human being on our blue planet who lacks any emotional intelligence, I would like to emphasize one thing which is probably self-evident for you.

If you want to break with your lady, you should prevent one thing in your undertaking at all costs:

Social pressure.

In all probability, your lady will feel something like this the moment you explain to her that you should go separate ways in the future:

Especially if she didn’t expect your breakup wish at all, she would feel exorbitant stress.

A huge audience in this situation is pretty much the last thing she needs.

That’s more likely to result in broken car windows…

So, make sure you have your talk under FOUR EYES.

In an environment she is familiar with.

Not in f*cking public.

But (preferably) at her home (these are probably the most familiar four walls for her).

This gives her the optimal space to let her emotions run free.

And the trick of it:

If she belongs to the more temperamental types of women and throws you with glasses, it’s at least not your dishes…

>> The 7 Most Common Relationship Problems and Their Solutions

Tip #2: Do the dick

Once upon a time in a land before our time…

…there was this ignorant young lad by the name of Daniello.

Yeah, okay…

Who am I kidding?

There was this ex-girlfriend I broke up with in a very cute way…

Now open your eyes as wide as you can, bro-ccoli – you can learn a ton from this fiasco.

Her name was Amy.

Long story short: Amy did her best 24/7 to make me happy – but she was more possessive than Miney from Lazy Town.

Doesn’t matter if I…

  • Wanted to party with some buddies
  • Once spoke to other women
  • Looked at other women
  • Or posted an Instagram picture of my cousin (!)

In each case, she lost her poise. COMPLETELY.

”Am I not good enough for you?’

Dan, I love you. How can you do this to me?

You know how I hate to be alone; please stay with me.”

I knew exactly that I didn’t have to justify myself for trivial things non-stop

So, I decided to break up.

When I told her that I don’t want to continue our relationship anymore, she looked at me with huge crocodile tears in her eyes:

”But… we’re not going to stop seeing each other, are we?”

And I wanted to prevent precisely that at all costs. I wanted to draw a line, and I had no intention of seeing her again.

But because I still loved her and the tears in her beautiful face broke my heart, I answered:

“Yes, of course, we’ll still see each other.”

A fatal mistake.

The second those words left my lips, a tiny flame flared up in her eyes.

A mini flame full of hope.

One day later:

I’m coming home from the gym.

It’s pouring down.

My eyes recognize in the dense rain haze a person patrolling in front of my apartment.

It’s Amy.

She brought me a paper bag full of chicken nuggets and sweet-and-sour sauce…

A deep-fried sin that she knew I had a weakness for.

Apparently, she had already been waiting for me for an hour.

Her clothes were soaking wet, and she was already trembling from the rain.

As much as I wanted to rebuff her at that moment, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.


But the most unfortunate thing about this encounter wasn’t the fact that I let her in.


My greatest inattention was to give her hope in the first place.

Another month went by in which there was a kind of half relationship with her, in which she fought for me anew every day.

And all this ONLY because I answered her question, whether we will still stay in contact, with a dishonest statement.

After four weeks of fooling her with false hope, I decided to make things clear once and for all.

”Sorry, Amy. But we shouldn’t see each other anymore. That’s it.”

Yeah, I know:

I know it may sound harsh. It’s like I’m an empathy-free bastard. But it was the best I could do…

After all, I’d been bullshitting her for a month.

She thought she had a chance to get back together with me.

Do you really think it would be her most ardent wish to be surrounded by someone who feels absolutely nothing for her?

Listen, bro.

Yeah, you’re allowed to feel bad for blowing her off.

And yes, you’re going to hurt her with it even if you try to be as gentle with her as you can.

Breakups will ALWAYS lead to a broken heart.

  • “Yes, we can still see each other.”
  • “I’m just not in love with you yet.”
  • “You’ve done nothing wrong; I just don’t want to be in a relationship right now.”
  • “We can still be friends.”

Strike phrases like these from your excuses dictionary if you really want to leave her behind once and for all.

With statements like these, you’re just giving her false hope.

I didn’t think I’d ever give this tip, but yeah…

sometimes it’s okay to be a dick.

The quicker you make it crystal clear to your señorita that it is over, the quicker her pain will fade.

This way, she’ll get over you faster and might get herself a new guy who matches her even better.

And the faster you can continue your epic life without much drama.

So, don’t be a pussy, be a dick. Otherwise, you’re just an asshole.

Yes, I know – that line is a truly poetic effusion…

“I see, Dan – what can I tell her instead?”

Excellent question.

Let me give you a prime example, with a detailed breakdown:

  1. ‘Let me be honest with you [insert name of your future ex here]. → By ‘wanting to be honest with her,’ you create a trusting space where you can talk to each other openly and unfiltered.
  2. ‘I am incredibly grateful that we both got to know each other.’ → With this you, make her aware that you don’t regret in any way having a relationship with her and diminish any accusations she might make about it because you are breaking up with her
  3. ‘Together, we turned the world upside down… but you should also be aware that it obviously doesn’t work between us anymore.’ → By using words like ‘we’ and ‘us’ you don’t blame her for the relationship and make it clear that you don’t blame her for this
  4. ‘We should go our separate ways from now on… I hope you respect my decision.’ → By telling her that you want her to respect your decision, you are clarifying the finality of your relationship

You could hardly do it with more respect.

Becoming more confidence helps you with making tough decisions and still communicate it in a respectful way. In a way that she likes.

>> 12 Missions to Develop Unshakable Confidence with Girls

Tip #3: Purge 2.0

No, by that, I don’t mean that you have to pounce on your ex like a wild mule and bash her head in like a Purge Night.

The ‘cleaning’ I’m talking about is this:

Remove anything that reminds you of her.

Sure, you were probably a great team, and you’ve certainly had some epic experiences.

However, these times belong to the past.

A new future awaits you. Without her and INDEPENDENT.

This doesn’t mean that you should transform all the mementos like pictures in your apartment into a gigantic fire and dance around it like Rumpelstiltskin.


It’s much more important to adapt your environment to your new situation.

  • So put all the memories of your relationship in a box and store them in a place where you aren’t 24/7 (for example your attic or your parents’ attic)
  • Remove all songs from your Spotify playlist that you associate with her.
  • Reset’ your cell phone.
    • Secure shared photos on a USB flash drive and put it with the other mementos in the attic.
    • Delete her number.
    • Remove her from ALL social media (Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat & Co.)

I am fully aware that these steps can be hard, but trust me:

It sets your metaphorical sails straight towards a ‘happy, fulfilled, and autonomous future’ captain.

>> How To Forget A Girl: The 7 Steps to Emotional Freedom

Hasta luego, ex – hola, single life!

Props, amigo.

For being interested in breaking up with your lady respectfully.

Of course, you both will need some time to overcome your separation.

(In case you are not yet able to process your breakup properly – even if you are the one initiating it – I’ve written this article for you, in which you learn step by step how to overcome your breakup at the speed of light).

However, after you overcome your love sickness, you are facing new times:

You’re single.

This means that from this day on, in all your independence, you can date countless women.

Without restrictions.

And I want to give you one crucial thing along the way.

A document for which I would probably have walked over dead bodies to get my hands on in the past.

What am I talking about?

Flirting advice that would have taken me to the next level when seducing women back then.

But I didn’t find practical tips that are easy to implement, just like a shoebox that fell off a truck on the street.


Through dozens of failures and mistakes, I have continuously acquired a repertoire of principles that have allowed my success with women to shoot through the ceiling.

And you know what? I want to give you these principles.

They are part of my free Transformation Kit.

If you are the proactive bro that I think you are, you’ll benefit from this Kit enormously.

Get it here.

Enjoy it, young padawan!

Your bro,
Dan de Ram

Stop awkward conversations
and painful rejections

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