There are men who easily trigger a vague feeling in women, no matter where they go.
The ladies can neither describe it nor do they know where it comes from. All they know is that in the presence of these men they feel feminine and sexy and can’t stop thinking about indecent things.
At the same time there are men who’ve already landed in the friendzone again, had to endure another much too platonic “date” or go home alone at 5 o’clock in the morning as usual…
They don’t manage to trigger this feeling in women.
What emotion am I talking about?
In this article you learn:
- Tension between people: What sexual tension actually is
- Why it’s essential for both long-term relationships and one-night stands
- My 5 secret tips, which I shouldn’t give away for free…
- 10 copy-paste lines with which you let the tension rise immensely
- Much more insight how to create sexual tension…
By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
“What is sexual tension?”
Wikipedia describes sexual tension as the phenomenon that arises when two individuals interact and feel sexual desire.
But you know me, I’m almost like a mad scientist and I’m often not satisfied with such a superficial description…
If you look at sexual tension microscopically, it turns out that the hormone oxytocin is mainly responsible for it.
Many also call it the “love hormone“.
Science gives us the first clue as to how you can create sexual tension between you and her, so watch out!
- Oxytocin production in men is stimulated by the male sex hormone
- In women it’s strongly related to the release of estrogen (= female sex hormone).
To put it in plain English:
If you feel particularly masculine in a conversation and she feels very feminine, then a hormone cocktail is brewed in you, which can lead to the following sexual tension signs…
- She gets goosebumps
- She bites her lip
- Her pupils dilate
- Your breathing rate increases
- Your hearts beat faster
- Your sperm production increases
- Pumps blood into your “spartan”
- Her panties get wet
When you should create sexual tension between you
The quick answer: As soon as you feel a romantic or sexual interest in her.
Many men make the mistake of thinking they need to add that sizzling tension to the conversation only after they have gone on three dates with a woman.
Even your very first conversation should boost oxytocin production in a woman as much as possible.
This doesn’t mean that you must necessarily touch, kiss or sleep with her on the first date/ interaction…
The content of the conversation can even be totally unsexy. If you know HOW, you can build up sexual tension even if you ask her what her favorite vegetables are.
It’s the most effective way to show that you’re a sexually attractive man. And I’m assuming you’re not here to learn how to be a woman’s best friend.
Create sexual tension FROM THE BEGINNING, if you don’t want to stew miserably in the hellfire of the friendzone. <3
Sexual tension in one-night stands and relationships
It’s the hottest chat you could have had with a woman…
I swiped stupidly on Tinder on a cozy Sunday evening. Boom! A match with a very feminine woman, who got me in the mood just by her pictures (which isn’t often the case with me)…
She gave me a hard time at first. Really hard. So hard that I almost gave up…
I know what you’re thinking, bro:
I’ve to admit: I never thought it would come to this.
I thought to myself:
My (supposedly) last message:
I hadn’t really hoped for anything, but this text caused a 180-degree turn…
That was the beginning of a hot role-playing game that turned us on so much that we just HAD to meet each other… Signs of deep attraction flooded us and the sexual tension would have eaten us up otherwise.
She came to me the same day and as soon as I closed the door of my apartment behind us, it started:
We made out passionately.
I pushed her against the door and immediately started to undress her…
She moaned, grabbed my hair and took off my shirt.
I took her hand and put it on my…
She screamed and…
It was hot sex. I still like to think about it today.
But you know what? She never answered my texts after that…
Let me give you another example before I answer that question:
I was on a coffee date with a biology and chemistry teacher.
We had intense eye contact for an hour without touching each other. When we left the café, I took her hand and we went to a park.
I suddenly stopped, pulled her close to me and looked silently deep into her eyes. Forehead to forehead we stayed like this for 5 minutes; both apparently infatuated with each other.
But I deliberately left it at that.
On our second date we ended after a few drinks in a cocktail bar in her apartment and finally also in her bed…
But I said:
Now you may be wondering:
The answer is simple: I trusted 100% that the sexual tension will go through the roof if we didn’t release it that night.
And so I did… We made out so passionately, rushed at each other, looked each other in the eyes with pleasure… but our clothes stayed on!
On the third date I was so generous (how selfless I am…) and didn’t hold her off any longer. We loved each other and she became my girlfriend, with whom I had a relationship for 1 ½ years, of which I’m still proud of today.
Well, what do we learn from these two stories?
Finally, something that’s useful for life, and that is:
Sure, if you want a quick number with little aftereffect (as was the case with my first story), that’s less important.
But if you want to have a long-term relationship and/or a tremendous impact on women, then this should be the desktop background of your laptop.
High tensions lead to intense releases.
5 tips to create sexual tension non-verbally
Of course, there are tested lines, which I will give you later.
The highest levels of sexual attraction, however, aren’t reached with yada yada yada, but through non-verbal communication.
It took me years to figure all this out, so pay extra attention.
Tip #1: The danger of chatter
Yo, I can understand you wanting to be in control of the conversation. After all, you’re a man who loves to take responsibility.
But have you ever considered that one can also and especially through silence lead the conversation?
At least it never occurred to me before… As soon as a woman finished her story, I answered as quickly as possible.
Even if what you then give of yourself is a 10/10 on a smoothness scale, the sexual tension has to experience a small loss each time.
For this reason, my absolute insider tip is to create massive tension:
When words stop flowing out of your mouths like a waterfall for a moment and you look at each other in silence, a feeling arises that many call unpleasant.
Bro, this feeling is sexual tension! It wouldn’t be called that if it left you absolutely cold.
Stop seeing these silences as unpleasant, but instead see them as a wonderful opportunity to show her that you can handle the tension like a boss!
How do you do it?
The following tips will make it easy.
Tip #2: Freeze
I can’t believe what valuable tips I’m spreading for free, tips that took me years to come up with myself…
But fuck it, this is after all an AttractionGym article.
It’s helpful to see flirting as a game about who’s better at handling the tension. If you win, there are two winners. If she wins, you get nothing…
One way to demonstrate to her that you can handle it better is a technique I call the “freeze“.
Freeze your body language when you’ve finished your sentence or when there’s silence between you while looking at each other.
If you watch infield videos of me seducing women, you may notice that I don’t move very much.
Hectic gestures make you a bouncy ball… They make you seem nervous and unmanly.
George Clooney demonstrates this technique (which he certainly copied from me :p ) in this clip from Ocean’s 11 in an excellent way.
Next time you flirt with a woman, remember: Freeze your body language briefly. And thank me later.
Tip #3: Move slowly
This tip goes along with the freeze. Without exception, every sexually attractive man moves sloooooowlyyyyy.
It’s like he’s underwater.
This exudes calmness and what’s even better: It makes you feel like that yourself.
This means that if you move quickly, you automatically become more nervous and react more frantically to external stimuli.
But if you move slowly, you will automatically become calmer and more carefree.
NOTE: Yes, we do all these hacks to get more attraction to women, but mostly we do them FOR OURSELVES.
So that WE feel calmer, more confident and more comfortable. The fact that this goes down well with women is a nice bonus that we like to take with us.
Tip #4: Intense eye contact between man and woman
One weekend I decided to actively work on my eye contact while flirting.
With every woman I approached, I focused strongly on looking explicitly into her eyes. From the beginning.
It was an absolute game changer.
Everything suddenly worked better. Women gave me their numbers and were desperate to meet up with me again…
I was positively SHOCKED and something in my head went “click”…
This is not even close to how it actually went.
Look a woman intense in her eyes when you flirt with her. If you want to step it up even a level higher, you can slowly take turns looking from one eye to the other and then back and forth to her lips.
It’ll drive her completely crazy.
Tip #5: Soft touches
Nothing is impossible, but if you never touch a woman, you make it much harder for yourself to create sexual tension.
The important thing isn’t to be a creep.
If a woman obviously doesn’t want to be touched by you, then refrain from doing so immediately. If you continue or force physical contact, then firstly this happens against her will and secondly you frighten her off with your haste.
If you notice that this is the case, then pull your hand back, hold it briefly and try again only when she seems clearly open to it.
Example of a good sequence of initial, harmless touches:
- Give her your hand when you introduce yourself. I’ll have my palm facing slightly upwards, so she gives me her hand like a lady.
- Give her a brofist or a high five.
- Put your hand on her shoulder.
- Touch the inside of her elbows with the outside of your hand.
Example of a good sequence of intimate touches:
- Take her hands, but keep your distance.
- Put her hands around your neck and grab her by the hip.
- Pull her close.
Absolute bro tip:
Make sure you do it gently with all these touches.
There is much strength in gentleness.
Stroke with pressure along the inside of your forearm… not much happens, right?
Now drive along your forearm with extreme gentleness… maybe you can already feel that you get light goosebumps.
This is the power of gentle touches, which you will learn more about in this article:
Now, the one you and your family have been waiting for a long time…
10 outstanding lines to create sexual tension verbally
- “Sorry, but nothing’s going to happen between us today.”
- “If we kissed now, the moment would be perfect.”
- “Look at me. Close your eyes. I promise I won’t kiss you.” (then you run your nose up her throat.)
- “You’re lucky we’re in public right now.“
- “You’re really fucking hot in that dress, by the way. “
- (When she gives you intense chemistry signs/ positive hints) “What are you doing to me? “
- “Trust me.” then touch her forehead with yours without kissing her.
- “Stop, stop, stop. The way you just said that is fucking sexy.”
- “I know Dan de Ram” (works 11 out of 10 times)
- “Sorry, I wasn’t listening to you. I was too busy thinking about what it would be like if we kissed now.”
How to increase your sexual attractiveness
The above sentences are absolute killers.
And yet not everyone can use them successfully.
Out of three men, one doesn’t even manage to trigger a twitch in a woman’s face.
The second one makes her smile and gets her number. That’s nice…
And then there is this one man who drives the woman so crazy with one of these lines that she jumps on him and at the end of the evening and they end up in the same taxi…
What’s the secret of this man?
I’m sure your sex and love life will take off like a NASA rocket that has just been launched, once you figure out for yourself how to build up strong sexual tension.
Keep me posted.
Be water my friend,
Dan de Ram