She is stunningly beautiful…
She makes your heart skip a beat…
She is your crush.
Maybe you see her regularly. Maybe you even meet up with each other.
Which makes the following even more frustrating:
You and your crush are not together yet!
That’s why I will tell you all about how to attract your crush.
You will get:
- 20 Seductive lines that will make your crush fall in love with you
- 4 Simple tips that finally free you from the shackles of the friendzone
- 3 Sneaky traps that sabotage your success with your crush
- Powerful flirting techniques that make your crush fall head over heels for you
- 3 Compliments that instantly make you more attractive to your crush
- Why your crush puts you in the friendzone
By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
Tip #1: What goes wrong 9/10 times while flirting with your crush
This is how I prepare you to flirt with your crush.
But first I want to tell you a story about Pete.
Pete has got the hots for a cutie he met at university. Luckily, they already know each other a little bit, so Pete can talk to her without too much stress.
He notices her during a lecture, so when class is over, he walks up to her.
Pete: “Hey. Cool lecture, huh?”
Crush: “Meh. I didn’t find it that interesting to be honest.”
Pete: “Oh, ehhh! Yeah, now you mention it, it wasn’t that cool. Hehe… Sooo… did you do anything fun over the weekend?”
Crush: “No, not really. I was busy with homework.”
“Okay! … Nice top by the way.”
Pete is simply having small talk with his crush. But he feels like he’s dismantling a bomb.
What does Pete do wrong? It’s probably what you also do wrong 99.2348340% of the time.
HE IS NOT FLIRTING!
True. But flirting is not the same as handing out compliments! And no, flirting is also not the same as being nice to someone for months on end.
So, what is flirting?
To learn that definition, we will first look at what it’s not.
Tip #2: The most commonly made mistake while flirting with your crush
I completely understand your problem. Not knowing how to flirt effectively can be extremely frustrating.
I’ve also walked a mile in your shoes. In fact, I have worn the entire friendzone outfit.
Me and my crush.
That’s why I know exactly how to get out of the friendzone and how to flirt with your crush without being obvious.
And it starts with solving the following problem:
If you’re still in the beginning phase of your crush, then a conversation with her will most likely make you weak in the knees.
And when you get nervous, the most fun parts of your personality are sidelined.
Your charisma, your humor, your spontaneity, your common sense…
All drowned out by your nervousness.
And now, you’re the most boring version of yourself.
In short, when you’re around your crush, you stop flirting.
Because even though you might show interest, you are no longer funny, spontaneous and charismatic.
And flirting is showing sexual interest in a playful manner.
Are you nervous? Then it’s impossible to flirt and elicit attraction.
Or is it?
Hehe, of course you can be flirty if you’re nervous.
You will read how in the next tip.
Tip #3: The seductive line that will make her interested in you.
The biggest reason that most men don’t have a way with the ladies?
They’re so extremely nervous that every ounce of their humor is pressed out of their body.
So they’re interacting with their crush as if their hamster had just died.
How sweet and complimentary they are, they elicit exactly ZERO attraction. As you can guess, their crush quickly loses interest.
And completely unnecessary, if…
You have the right seductive lines to fall back on.
If you’re not feeling in tip-top shape, then indeed, it is quite difficult to come up with the right thing to say.
That’s why I have a practical tip for you, that you can immediately apply next time you see your crush.
Imagine, like Pete (the guy from the first tip) you’re crushing hard on a girl from university.
During break, she always walks to the coffee machine so you do the same. You see her making an espresso and you say:
“Why do you always take the coffee machine hostage when I want to get a coffee?”
If she’s smooth, she’ll answer:
“Have you ever stopped to think that you might be following me here?”
To which you say:
“You know….It’s a good thing I don’t date people from university, because we would be disastrous together.”
*winks and walks away*
This is an amazing interaction. For two reasons:
- You tell her that you can’t date (a prohibition elicits interest)
- You tell her that if you were to date, it would be a ‘disaster’ (even more interest)
If you say this to her playfully, it’s guaranteed that she will chase you.
This seductive line doesn’t help with your situation?
Here you have the key to killing boring conversations with 15+ seductive lines!
Tip #4: How to be less shy
Every time I share this tip with my bootcamp participants, I get mixed responses.
At the end of my mini-speech, some guys say:
“Fuck. That hurts, but you’re absolutely right. It’s nothing more than an excuse. And I will never use it like that again.”
While others say: “I don’t know Dan. This is sincerely a part of my personality and I feel a little bit attacked right now.”
Do you have trouble with confrontation?
Well, grab your teddy bear and your security blanket.
Because I will tell you something painful with the help of Webster’s dictionary.
You’re not an introvert, you’re shy.
Webster defines ‘introvert’ as:
A reserved person who enjoys spending time alone.
And ‘shy’ as:
Easily frightened, disposed to avoid a person or a thing, hesitant of committing oneself.
The two words are almost identical.
The big difference is that introversion comes out of your personality and shyness comes from fear.
Nobody wants to admit that they’re afraid, so we rather call ourselves ‘introverted’.
“I’m not afraid of bad responses from other people, I’m just an introvert” thus the scaredy cats of society.
But regardless of which dictionary you consult, no definition tells you that introverts can’t be social. It only takes a bit more effort than it does for extroverts.
So hiding behind the label of ‘introvert’, we find an excuse. An excuse to not take action.
Are you an introvert?
Fine, so am I. (Yes, honestly.)
Then how do I seduce my crushes?
By taking daily action to who I want to become, not who I am today.
Then how does that action translate to daily life? As I don’t know exactly what’s going on in your head, maybe something like:
- Asking the professor a question in a full lecture hall
- Daring to say ‘Hi’ to your crush when she’s with her friends
- Giving a compliment to a random stranger
- Exchanging phone numbers with your crush
These are only a few examples, but as you can see, it’s about small and manageable actions that will bring you closer to who you want to be.
Call to action: before you go on to the next tip, write down 5 concrete actions you can take that slowly transform you into the person you want to be.
Tip #5: The mindset that will help you to easily seduce your crush
The next mistake hits close to home.
It genuinely hurts me, every time I see people make it.
Furthermore, it ruins your chances with your crush as much as it would ruin your presentation skills if you hire Mike Tyson as your speech therapist.
What would give your shot at love with your crush a bigger hit than Iron Mike’s fist?
A lack of mental hygiene.
First of all, it’s not opening the top of your head and scrubbing that gray matter between your ears.
Let me give you an example.
You’re behind your desk, hard at work.
The tempo decreases and you lose your focus.
Suddenly, you’re thinking about your crush.
So, you start daydreaming.
You feel yourself getting all warm and fuzzy and you think: “I want to see her now.”
So, without stopping to think, you grab your phone and go to her Instagram.
“Hmm… what a beauty.”
You keep scrolling further down and before you know it, half an hour has passed.
This lack of focus is detrimental to your life.
Not only does your work suffer, the odds of being with your crush also take a hit.
Because by daydreaming you make everything seem rosier than it is.
She also puts her socks on one at a time. But by constantly fantasizing about her you will soon see her as a goddess.
And a ‘goddess’ is way harder to seduce than Sarah who fell down the stairs this morning.
Don’t make it too hard on yourself and improve your mental hygiene:
- Stop stalking her social media (of course you can take a cheeky look every now and then)
- Don’t use your work or study breaks to start daydreaming about your crush
- Use your resting moments wisely (go for a walk, have a chat with colleagues, eat a snack)
Tip #6: How to flirt with your crush as a bullsh*t artist
Your goal is to eventually seduce your crush.
But before you get there, you will have to have a conversation with her.
Please make sure to not make the following mistake.
Going over her resume.
- “Where are you from?”
- “What do you do?”
- “How many square meters is your house?”
These are all questions where you don’t really care about the answers. Plus they make your conversation more boring than counting grains of sand.
When you’re just getting to know someone, all those little facts are irrelevant.
Even her name is not that relevant (even though you want to remember it) until you feel a spark.
Because without a spark, there’s no attraction.
So, as much as you can, forget about factual questions. (I will tell you what to replace them with in a little bit.)
Which brings us to the next problem:
What if she asks you boring questions? Women are just as bad at flirting as we men.
How do you prevent the conversation from taking a turn for the worst, a.k.a. becoming boring? Or even worse, heading towards the friendzone?
You don’t answer truthfully.
Let me show you the power of this technique through a story from back in the day.
In high school, I got a brand-new Blackberry. I was insanely happy with my new phone.
Around that time, I bumped into a female friend (who I was not interested in) who asked me how I was doing.
So I answered:
Complete nonsense. But she loved it and even went along with my cheesy act!
She started joking with me:
So, don’t answer boring questions too seriously.
Make up playful nonsense!
- Put on a smile
- Tell your nonsense with a smirk
- Don’t take life too seriously
Why does this work? Because everyone wants to be with the person who’s having the most fun.
Tip #7: How to seduce your crush when you’re in the friendzone
Some of you are locked away in the deep dark dungeons of the friendzone.
Every now and then, she passes by and feeds you some attention. But the dessert you’re actually waiting for, that amazing relationship, never comes.
How should you deal with this?
Not like this: playing it safe.
Recently, I had a coaching call with a friendly dude, who sadly enough, was stuck in the friendzone.
I asked him a series of questions:
- How long have you known her? “Six months.”
- Have you ever kissed her? “No.”
- Have you ever flirted with her? “Yes.”
So I dug a little deeper and I found out that he actually never flirted with her.
What did he do?
He held open doors for her. Gave her his coat when she was cold. Helped her with chores around the house. Bought her presents.
These were all symbols of love but not of sexual interest. And that doesn’t work.
You can buy her hundreds of gifts and hold thousands of doors for her. But she will only see you as relationship material when she can see you as a bed partner.
In order for her to see you as a bed partner, you have to go further than sugar-sweet gestures.
You have to flirt.
And sadly, this man did not.
He didn’t have the guts to go all in. The guts to put himself out there to be rejected.
Meh… Not a lot of people turn down gifts.
Okay, you understand now that just playing it safe is not the solution.
So, what is the solution?
To give her other feelings about you. Because right now, you feel like her brother.
How do you make her see you as a potential lover or boyfriend?
- Be less available on WhatsApp/social media and give slightly shorter replies
- Don’t meet up with her as friends
- Don’t do her any unnecessary favors
And most importantly…
You will read how to in the next tip.
Tip #8: How to flirt with your crush using 3 simple flirting techniques
The moment you become a little more distant, you’ll have her right where you want her.
Now, she’s wondering: “What’s the matter with him? Is he okay? Did I do something wrong?”
So she feels a little insecure about you. Which, in this case, is a positive thing.
Because thanks to that insecurity, she’s now thinking of you.
This means you’re important to her.
What will you do the next time you see her?
You make her fall for you with some good flirting techniques.
A word of caution here. If you use the wrong seduction techniques, like becoming too sexual, you might scare her off.
So, how do you flirt your way out of the friendzone?
Keep it playful.
Here’s an example.
A female friend of mine can do everything herself. She never wants help from other people.
That’s why I tease her when she can’t do something.
Imagine she’s struggling with two heavy grocery bags, I’d say something like:
“Excuse me, miss. Do you need a strong man to help you with those bags?”
Even though she says she hates them, those cheesy jokes always make her laugh.
You and your crush probably show each other things on your phones. (If not, it’s time you work towards doing that.)
Next time you show her something on your phone, intentionally keep the screen very far away from her, so she will want to pull it closer.
Now you say “You look with your eyes, missy,” while smiling you move the phone even further away.
You have an ‘itch’ on your forehead. So you scratch it using your middle finger.
If she doesn’t notice your finger, you say, “Hey, do I have something on my face? I suddenly have an incredible itch.”
*comes closer with face and middle finger*
To which she will probably reply, “Hahaha! You’re so evil!!”
These are just three of a zillion flirting techniques that you can use to get your crush.
Tip #9: Three compliments that make you more interesting to your crush
Some compliments do more harm than good.
*bashes head against wall*
So, what are compliments that elicit attraction and that separate you from the rest?
I will give you three.
Next time she makes you laugh, say:
Fuggin’ simple. But still incredibly powerful.
Men have claimed humor. Just take a look at the ratio of male and female stand-up comedians: 90% are men.
That’s why, when humor is involved, women often feel underappreciated.
You tell her she’s funny? She will appreciate that MASSIVELY. And like you a lot more.
Now for the second compliment.
At one point or another, your crush will undoubtedly tell you a story about a setback that she’s overcome.
That’s the perfect moment for the next compliment:
What makes this a powerful compliment?
Women are often seen as the ‘weaker’ sex who need to be helped and comforted.
If you tell her that she can also be tough as nails, it will definitely get her temperature rising.
And last but not least, compliment number three:
Though women want to be viewed as being as strong and as funny as men, they are still women.
And want to feel sexy and desired.
So, this last compliment will give her exactly what she wants to hear (in an approachable way). On top of that, she will laugh even more around you.
Tip #10: Friendzoned? Seduce your crush with one word
It sucks big time when you regularly see her but the contact stays purely platonic.
Even though you’re having a good time, you want more.
In that case, you’re probably in the friendzone. And the best advice I can give you is to distance yourself.
Distancing yourself is incredibly hard when you’re in love with someone.
Even though you don’t get everything that you want, seeing her still feels good.
That’s why you keep hanging out with her.
But if you don’t make it clear that you want to see her in different circumstances, she will see you as a brother, more and more each time, increasing the odds that she will end up with another man.
So, taking some time for yourself is a must.
You already read how to distance yourself in tip #7. Apply the tips and within no time you will most likely seduce your crush.
But what if, when all is said and done, you haven’t seduced her?
What do you do?
You text her the following word:
Well, you don’t text her exactly that. But ‘break’ is the key message of your text.
Suppose you chilled with your crush recently and the vibe was very ‘friendzoney’.
No flirting from her side. No moments of intimate eye contact. No hugging or holding hands.
Then you send her the next message (after applying the advice from tip #7!):
If your crush is really important to you, you don’t send her a (WhatsApp) message.
You tell her face-to-face.
What’s so special about this message?
First of all, you take control of the situation. You’re not running after her like a puppy, blind with love.
And second of all, she can’t get a handle on you. If you can distance yourself so easily, she will get the space she needs to long for YOU.
And that is good because it usually leads to one or two responses:
- She leaves you, giving you more time and energy for women who truly like you
- She will try to keep you with her using a new form of attention, flirty attention
This means your life gets better in either circumstance.
So do it.
Tip #11: How to flirt with your crush without meeting up with her
Having a crush is a double-edged sword.
On the one side, it’s amazing but on the other side, it turns your world upside down.
Are you head over heels for your crush?
In no time, your whole life revolves around her.
She is the first one you think of when you wake up and the last when you go to bed.
These thoughts go hand in hand with many wonderful feelings. So it doesn’t necessarily feel bad.
But these wonderful feelings also do something very nasty:
They make her more important than yourself.
Making you forget and neglect yourself.
You perform worse at school. You’re not your bubbly self around your friends. You go to the gym less often.
In other words: you become less attractive.
That’s why I advise you to do the following:
First of all, restore order.
Read some books again. Get to work on that project you were thinking of starting. Keep eating healthily etc.
But you also want to – and this one will make the difference – …
… date other women.
“Huh? But I just want to be with my crush!”
I hear you. But if you keep following this same path, you will get one-itis, making your self-worth completely dependent on one woman.
Blegh. That’s a recipe for failure.
Do you dare to meet other women? Do you not make yourself dependent on one person?
Then you will transform from a beggar to someone who enjoys life. Although you still receive attention from your crush, she no longer determines your happiness.
YOU are now the one that determines your happiness.
Which, by the way, is also way more attractive to your crush.
That’s how you lead a richer life, making your crush like you more in the process.
Tip #12: How to attract your crush if you’re not good-looking enough
Even the best flirt tips are worthless if you walk around like the hunchback of Notre Dame.
Or can you still attract your crush despite your ‘less than perfect’ appearance?
Here’s what I think.
Our culture dictates what is ‘objectively’ beautiful. And what is beautiful changes over time.
Not in the least has the ‘ideal’ woman changed over the years. For example; Marilyn Monroe used to be the perfect woman in the 40’s. Considering our obsession with flat stomachs nowadays, we would never think that.
Although she does have a symmetrical face.
What’s way more important than beauty and symmetry is your vibe. A certain energy that attracts people, despite your imperfect looks.
Think of Bill Murray.
That dude has sincerely never been good-looking. But he managed to cement his place in Hollywood with his unique and funny personality. Plus seduced plenty of Hollywood celebrities.
The point being:
Objective beauty always loses to subjective beauty.
Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever dated a model…
…but the moment you talk with someone with the ‘perfect’ appearance, you will learn the value of personality.
Because after a few dates, objective beauty loses its charm if there’s nothing to support it.
In my experience (and what I see with thousands of men I have coached) subjective beauty is what defines you.
What makes up that beauty?
- Your personality
- Your habits
- Your energy
- Your body language
- Your behavior
- Your attitude towards life
All this makes for a package deal that is irreplaceable. No one can match it.
Women aren’t looking for the hottest man, they’re looking for a man with a set of amazing qualities.
Qualities you can improve.
That’s why I have something special for you. My Transformation Kit that will bring your qualities to the next level.
But don’t overestimate the Transformation Kit. You still have to take action yourself.
Get it completely free and become the best version of yourself.
Good luck, dude.
Dan de Ram