There’s this one woman.
You first met at a Christmas party. You had the best conversation you ever had with the opposite sex.
She is pretty, sporty and your whole universe.
You’re head over heels in love with her and start to believe that she’s THE ONE.
When you lie in bed in the evening, you cuddle up with your pillow and imagine a fairy-tale relationship that you will have until death do you part.
She takes you by the hand, is totally playful in your presence, and lets you carry her. You kiss passionately…
… and the alarm goes off.
Reality hits you in the face harder than Mayweather smashed Connor McGregor.
You are frustrated because you know she will never feel the same way about you.
You know that your love for her is unhealthy.
BUT YOU’RE WRONG.
It’s not only unhealthy, it’s absolutely toxic.
You need to forget her before the thoughts about her drain your energy.
But how do you forget someone when the thoughts about her are clawed in your mind?
Today you will discover:
- How to forget a girl in 7 steps and be free from agonizing thoughts
- My story: When you can‘t forget her even after one year abroad
- How your brain makes it impossible to forget someone you love
- How to forget your ex and love freedom more than Sir William Wallace
- The Atomic Bomb Method: erase her from your mind for good
- And much more…
By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
How to forget a girl and move on
Listen, my friend.
That was only one reason why men want to forget a certain woman. When it comes down to it, there are several others:
- They chased her for far too long, even though the woman just doesn’t like them back. Now they’re emotionally drained.
- They were in a relationship, but instead of enjoying the single life again, they cannot forget the one the loved.
- They flirted with a woman, maybe even slept with her, but they have not seen her since. They lost the contact, and can’t stop thinking about that one special night.
Whichever of these reasons applies to you, the end effect is the same:
Everything revolves around her. You can’t concentrate on work, you can’t sleep.
This is a shitty situation because mental energy per day is limited.
If this energy is wasted, your productivity will be severely affected, and you won’t be able to recognize and/or take advantage of the opportunities that life offers you.
Yeah, it’s really that dramatic.
Most people say that everyone has to go through it at least once because it’s part of life, but no one gives you effective tips on how to do it the fastest, without any negative side effects.
That is why I am writing this article right now. For you and all those who find themselves in a similar situation.
Let’s work together and I’ll give you the steps how to forget a girl you’ve loved.
My story: The shittiest time of my life
Oh, yes, I do. At least I have a hunch.
The truth is: I’m not a superhero. My love life has not always been this smooth. As a matter of fact, it went anything but smoothly.
There was this one girl.
(Dramatic heartbreak stories always begin with this sentence.)
This ONE GIRL (let’s call her Lisa), used to go to the same school. I was infected: I fell so hard in love with her that my day both began and ended with the thought of her.
I’ll spare you the painful story. All you need to know for today is that I chased her for a year.
She kept giving me mixed signals. Whenever I wanted to give up, she flirted with me. Whenever I went on the offensive, she kept her distance.
She kept me on the hook like a fish that doesn’t know much except that he has a problem…
It was the most emotionally draining time of my life and I decided to travel for a year, mainly to forget her.
It actually worked. After three months I finally felt free again.
She contacted me on Facebook saying that it was a huge mistake not to enter into a relationship with me.
Aaaand the scar was suddenly torn open again.
I even considered returning home just to be with her, which, fortunately (!), I did not do.
Because one month later, she got knocked up by a one-night-stand at a party…
If you think that this helped me to get over her, you are wrong. Even then I still had to think about her all the time and even imagined raising her daughter together with her… What was wrong with me?
It took another year before I could finally got over her.
Fortunately, I finally found a simple way to do this, which I will share with you today, so that you don’t have to live the zombie life for months.
How Do I Forget About Her? 7 Simple Steps to MOVE ON
Before we start to forget that one girl: I respect you for being here.
You realized that you will never be with this one woman, and you respect yourself enough to move on, instead of being stuck in this crappy situation forever.
Many don’t even get that far, so you can give yourself the first pat on the back.
In order to forget her, you have to realize that you are ADDICTED to her.
And I’m talking about REAL addiction, just like cocaine or heroin addiction.
This research even shows that drug withdrawal and lovesickness are absolutely identical in the early stages.
If you want to forget her, you must stop feeding your obsessive behaviors.
You can do this by following these 7 steps:
Step #1: Be 100% vulnerable
The first step how to forget her and move on will surprise you.
It is a big step, but nothing will put you in a better position to get rid of your addiction.
What I suggest is to tell your “false queen” about your feelings openly and in detail. Tell her exactly how you feel about her, and have her give you a juicy and clear rejection.
It will be hard on you at the moment, but it makes it easier for you in the long run.
If you are not able to do this because she doesn’t want to see you, you can’t see her or you don’t have enough courage to do it, there is an alternative:
Write a letter.
The interesting thing about this method is that you never really have to give her this letter. Simply writing down your feelings will help you deal with them.
I suggest being brutally honest. Say or write:
- That you miss her
- That you think about her a lot
- How you felt in her presence
There is great power behind vulnerability. Don’t try to be the strong, cold-hearted man who’s too cool for heartache.
Be a real man and cry if you must.
If you’ve never cried over a woman, you’ve never been in love.
Emotions are nothing but chemical reactions in your body. The same goes for negative ones, which you need to flush out of your body as soon as possible.
That’s why so many people feel better after crying. So don’t be a sissy, grab a big box of tissues and cry like a little b*tch. 🙂
Done, ready and dried up?
Let’s continue with step 2 how to forget that girl, even if she was your ex.
Step #2: Weaken the power of her name
As soon as I heard that name, the scars in my soul ripped open again.
Even when I listened to the news, and some random Lisa committed some random crime, I felt miserable.
I realized that my brain had been conditioned to the sound of her name.
You must have heard about Pavlov and his dog.
He studied the salivation of dogs, which increases when they anticipate food.
The interesting thing is that you can also increase saliva flow by doing something that has nothing to do with food.
For example, if you play a sound while a dog is eating, they will soon associate it with food.
Like Pavlov’s dog to that sound, you are conditioned to the name of your beloved.
Conditioning can be reversed.
Which means you can forget about her.
If the sound was played too often in dogs without giving them something to eat, the association was stopped and increased salivation was no longer a reaction to the sound.
The question now is: How can you reverse the conditioning?
- Repeat her name 200 times until it sounds stupid
- Read her name backwards and call her that every time you think of her (“Anna… annA… shit!”)
- Say her name with a funny accent (Italian, French, Japanese, Donald Duck…)
- Give her a new name that guarantees that you won’t glorify her anymore (examples: Mrs. Not Right, Mediocre, Mwaaa)
As soon as her name no longer triggers a reaction in your body, you have come a great step closer to forgetting that girl and emotional freedom.
Step #3: Out of sight, out of mind
Do you know what is the stupidest thing you can do to get over a woman?
Staying friends with her.
This is absolutely counterproductive!
Still, I see numerous men do this. And then they ask me:
This third step is essential if you want to break away from her emotionally.
If you don’t do this, you’ll make it impossible for yourself to forget her. And it may be that even months later, the slightest memory will throw you back into the deep hole from which you laboriously lifted yourself out.
In psychology, you call this anchoring. This means that anything that reminds you of her triggers the emotions you felt with her.
These emotions may have been pleasant then, but they are pure torture now.
So remove anything that might remind you of her from your life.
- Stop talking to her
- Delete her number
- Unfollow her on all social media
- Don’t make mutual friends
You don’t have to be a dick about it.
Talk to her about it. Tell her that it’s probably best for you not to see each other for a while.
I am still very good friends with most of the women I have dated. You simply take distance and contact each other as soon as you have digested the heartache COMPLETELY.
Step #4: Stop stalking her
Every minute you think about her is a waste of time and energy.
Many men are not even aware of how many thoughts are wasted to that one special girl they cannot get.
They want to forget her, and yet they still talk about her with friends or check her Facebook page.
This often happens subconsciously… It’s more of a reflex. But, unfortunately, it has a severe side effect:
You make it impossible for you to forget her.
You think about her more than necessary.
Avoid gossiping about her at all costs. It won’t get you anywhere. Besides, what if you find out she has a new boyfriend?
Then you’re devastated. So don’t.
These are things that will help you:
- Block her on Facebook
- Don’t talk about her with friends
- When others talk about her, just say, “I’m trying to forget her right now. Let’s talk about something else.”
If you want to forget someone, you have to stop letting thoughts pop up about her.
Step #5: A new perspective
For all those who can deal with it, spirituality can create a new perspective.
Be it through meditation, a spiritual book, or simply by reflecting on the insignificance of the situation in the great cosmos. All this can help.
What can also work is to remind yourself how ridiculous your “problem” actually is. For this, I like to watch movies after which one appreciates his current life situation, such as “The Pianist”.
One of the main teachings of Buddhism is that all emotions come and go, and we do not have to identify with them nor get attached to them.
In simple terms: Observe. Watch your addiction to her… with curiosity and without attachment.
Realize that these emotions are not YOU… They don’t define you as a person. You have not felt these emotions in the past, and you won’t feel them in the future.
They are just the fading fog of biochemical processes, and they will soon pass. Observe.
You can even go one step further and imagine how boring life would be if you didn’t feel emotions.
We judge them all the time:
But the truth is: emotions are simply different spices of life, which make it more entertaining.
Can you enjoy your grief? Don’t enjoy it too much, though, because many become addicted to their state of suffering, but what if you could see it as another adventure in life?
Forget about the girl by forgetting about the feeling the emotions give you.
Step #6: Invest in yourself
It’s hard to forget someone who was once very close to you.
You constantly catch yourself as this person dances through your thoughts.
Since every second you think about her is wasted, it’s time to shift your focus.
Let me put it this way:
What is better for your life? One hour thinking about her or one hour working hard on your job/fitness/study?
Anything’s better than thinking about her. If you concentrate on your work…
- You can distract yourself
- You can put the available energy in there
- You get results
Imagine how satisfying it would be if you got a good grade, a raise or a promotion.
Coincidentally, women find ambitious men sexy. 😉
If you ask me, that’s a quick and easy way to move on from an ex.
Step #7: Enjoy your single life
Freedom is the most precious commodity on earth. Many people have fought for it and lost their lives, such as Sir William Wallace.
Perhaps now is the time to enjoy this precious commodity to the fullest…
You can go on dates. You can focus on your work. You can start a new hobby. You can go out with your bros.
You are single! You are free! It’s up to you how you carry on with your life.
My suggestion: celebrate it.
I cannot stress enough how important it is to see your situation as something positive.
Make a list of things you’ve always wanted to do. And then work through this list step by step.
Before you can look around, the next woman will come to take over your thoughts, and then you will regret that you did not use the time you have NOW.
The genius of this method is that you can also meet other women during these activities. Women who like the same things as you.
Meeting other women and going on dates will shorten your heartache.
But you must not only believe me, science also comes to this conclusion.
You could be in need of a little confidence boost at the moment, so why not. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. In fact, it only has advantages.
And maybe you will get to know a woman you find even more amazing than your “false goddess”.
If you still can’t forget her…
I doubt that it still occupies a large part of your mind after these 7 steps.
But if it does, I have a method for you which I call the “atomic bomb“.
It is the most effective approach, and is absolutely foolproof.
A friend introduced it to me once, and he added:
Well, I don’t think it is that dramatic, but the nuclear bomb is definitely a very drastic approach to your situation.
The whole point of this is to erase her from your entire life by…
- Moving to another city
- Getting yourself a new job
- Resetting your social circle
This is actually the “out of sight, out of mind” method, but taken to the EXTREME.
If I didn’t have to, I would do without it, but in very bad cases of heartache and depression, I consider it the most effective measure.
Now you know how to forget a girl.
Just think of the atomic bomb as the LAST RESORT.
You don’t have to use it, but it can give you comfort knowing that you have a way out when everything else fails.
I will, of course, continue to have your back. Just let me know in the comments below what you need.
And don’t forget to take peek in your free Transformation Kit. It’s the shortcut to your emotional freedom
May the Force be with you.
Dan de Ram