5 Steps to get a friends with benefits quickly + 12 Rules

Dan de Ram

20 Aug 2020 by Dan de Ram

I love her… and I’m not the only one.

A friends with benefits relationship is the wish of many men. And rightly so!

Why?

Because you can enjoy the advantages of a relationship without having to deal with the disadvantages.

But be careful! Many people have the misbelief that a friends with benefits (fwb) means that they can easily order their girl to them anytime to have sex without guilty conscience and drama.

I can tell you with certainty: Being (best) friends with benefits is more complicated than it seems!

A friends with benefits relationship can end faster than it started. To avoid this, I’ve summarized the Dos and Don’ts of a “friendship with certain advantages”.

I won’t only tell you how to make a woman enthusiastic about it, but also how to lead her in such a way that it’ll be a complete win for BOTH SIDES.

We’ll go deeper into the matter than a deep-sea submarine into the Pacific Ocean. Get ready for a comprehensive friends w benefits guide!

Today you get:

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The 5 steps to making a woman your fuckbuddy

You need concrete friends with benefits tips and explicit steps?

No problem, bro.

Step #1: Learn how to meet women

While this is self-evident, it should nevertheless be mentioned:

If you don’t know how to approach women, flirt with them and trigger their emotions…

… Then you won’t get any friends with benefits!

But lucky for you, not only did I write one insightful article about it.

I wrote for you 3 blog posts about how to approach and seduce women:

>> 7 Art of Flirting Myths that Keep You Lonely + How to Find Love

>> 5 Shocking Insights on What Causes Attraction Between Man and Woman

>> 19 Tips How to Pick Up a Girl – Get Her Easily

So, if you’re not adored by women yet, start with these three articles and check out my friends w benefits guide later. Don’t worry, it won’t be gone till then. On the contrary, it’s waiting for you.

Step #2: Create a connection

A fwp relationship won’t work without first establishing a connection with her. If you just want one night with her, the connection doesn’t have to be that big.

However, being friends with benefits is more complex, so you have to be willing to invest more time in it than in a meaningless one-night stand.

It’s much easier to start a fuckbuddy relationship if you trust each other.

Step #3: Be good in bed

This step is particularly important. Why would a woman enter a sex-based relationship if you’re not good in bed?

This will surprise you a bit, but if you are a sex god, step #2 can even be skipped. Yeah, you heard me!

If you’re a phenomenal sex partner, then it may be that she can’t get enough of you even without a deep connection.

However, if you have a lot of one-night stands, but no woman wants to meet you again afterwards, then something goes wrong…

This can be due to 3 things:

Fortunately, I’ve already prepared the appropriate articles for you for the last point.

>> How to Please a Woman in Bed (Step-by-Step Guide)

>> 7 Tips to Make Women So Horny They Booty Call YOU

Step #4: Check your situation

Ask her if she’s dating someone right now and if she’s looking for a monogamous relationship. An excellent moment for this is right after sex, as soon as she’s in your arms.

If she’s specifically looking for something solid, you should respect that. Then it’s probably not a good idea to make her your fuckbuddy.

However, if she’s a convinced single and also intends to stay single, then the situation is ideal for a friends with benefits relationship.

Step #5: Tell her you’re emotionally unavailable

I think this is the most difficult step…

It takes a certain amount of effort to say to a woman “I’m emotionally unavailable at the moment”, especially when she’s lying in your arms looking at you with big Bambi eyes.

BUT: You have to do it!

Let her know you find her sexually attractive, but that you’re not looking for something serious. Add that you still like to spend time with her and enjoy sex very much.

Let that rest for a while and see how she responds. Be careful not to come across as needy. You aren’t a horny man who needs her for sex, but rather an unattached adventurer who doesn’t take life, himself and sex so seriously.

I like to put it this way:

“Hey, this may come out of nowhere, but I wanted you to know I’m not up for a relationship. I really enjoy your company, but I don’t want you to get your hopes up!”

When I say that, I focus on saying it with the biggest conviction I can muster. That way you avoid the weird “I can make him do it!” motivation women often develop.

>> How to French Kiss Someone For The First Time – 5 Secrets.

The 12 golden “friends with benefits” rules

  1. Never be needy: If you text her or call her, but she doesn’t want to have sex, then leave it at that and don’t beg like a dog, otherwise you’ll seem like a desperate idiot.
  2. Keep it to yourself: There’s no need to let the rest of the world know what you have with each other. A woman is terrified of being labeled a slut. So put a cloak of silence over your bedtime stories.
  3. Keep the tension high: If you call her too often for sex, the air and the tension will soon be away.
  4. Be honest: If she asks if you’re seeing other women, be honest! You have nothing to hide and after all, you’re not in a relationship with her.
  5. If she falls in love, STOP: Feelings can cause jealousy, drama and heartache. Be so fair to her and end it when you realize she has serious feelings for you. Unless you both fall in love, you can give your relationship a different direction.
  6. Keep it safe: Don’t be an idiot and use protection. I don’t want to have to talk about pregnancy and STDs…
  7. Be nice to her: Friends support each other, so you should treat her with respect. Otherwise she feels used. Then the whole thing gets an insipid flavor…
  8. Make arrangements: It’s good to agree on a few rules together to make it clear where your boundaries lie.
  9. It’ll end: Everything has an end, even a fuckbuddy relationship. Be aware of that before, so you don’t get the wrong idea.
  10. No ego: Don’t get jealous or possessive if you ever see her with someone else. She’s not your girlfriend and she can go on as many dates as she wants. The same goes for her if she sees you with another woman.
  11. Keep it simple: That means: No romantic dates, no holidays together… Avoid everything that could trigger feelings in her. This has nothing to do with stubbornness. You’re doing it for her. You respect her and don’t want to give her false hopes and/or break her heart.
  12. Be a sex god: If you can give her something in bed that she can’t get anywhere else, then there’s a good chance she won’t want to end the friends with benefits so quickly…

How to get a friend with benefits: Frequently asked questions

“Can you turn an ex-girlfriend into a fuckbuddy?”

Anything is possible, but it would be a damn tricky situation. Emotions might creep in and serious drama might ensue. So, it’s best to stay away from your ex in that regard.

“What do I do if she starts to have feelings for me?”

You have to tell her clearly and unambiguously that you are not available for a monogamous relationship. If it can’t be fun, playful, free and lighthearted between you, then you have to stop having sex with each other.

However, it’s very likely that in that case she’ll want to stop seeing you anyway. I’ve heard the phrase “I just can’t do this anymore” before, so be prepared for that.

“What are the limits?”

That’s the beauty of a fuckbuddy relationship! There are almost no limits. Just make sure you keep it as fun and uncomplicated as possible. Don’t be an asshole who treats her like a piece of shit just because she’s not your “bae” …

The foundation of a functioning fwb relationship should always be “Win-Win”. This means that it must be advantageous and desirable for BOTH PARTIES. The point isn’t to sexually exploit a woman without making commitments.

Since friends with benefits isn’t a one-dimensional story from which only men benefit, I asked a friend of mine for her opinion. She has a degree in psychology and specializes in relationships.

Here are her tips:

Friends with benefits tips from a woman

Tip #1: Be honest!

It’s essential to be honest about what you want. Women really appreciate that. It has often been the case in my life that I met a great man, but immediately knew that I didn’t want to have a relationship with him.

When he told me:

“Listen, I like you, but I just enjoy my single life and I’m not looking for a relationship right now”

Then that was always okay for me.

That made it especially easy for me as a woman. I could then say to him:

“Nice, because I’m not either. Tonight, all I really want to do is rip your clothes off.”

Conclusion: Communicate openly what you expect from her and see how she reacts.

Of course, this doesn’t work for every woman. So, you need to figure out what type of woman you’re dealing with. Some women are serial monogamists: They always want to commit to one relationship, no matter what kind of stud you are.

>> 5 Ways Non-Monogamy Improves Your Monogamous Relationship.

Tip #2: Treat her with respect!

This is crucial! She may not be your girlfriend and you’re not in a relationship, but that doesn’t mean you should just think of her as a walking bootycall. It’s easy to lose respect for a woman if you don’t take a long-term view.

If you want to keep her as a friend with certain advantages, it’s necessary that you are polite. Of course, you don’t treat her as you would a girlfriend, but be nice and charming.

Ask her how she is, how her day was and/or what she did to talk about something other than sex.

If you decide to go for a drink together, she’ll reward you for your extra effort.

Tip #3: Benefits in bed

Okay, that’s a little obvious, but this is about friends with benefits.

If those benefits are not available in bed, it’s over. That means: Don’t just think of yourself and pay attention to her needs.

Tip #4: Don’t abuse the situation

Don’t brag about your sex stories with other women. She knows you’re not exclusive, but nobody likes to feel like one of many.

So make sure it remains discreet. I hope I don’t have to tell you this, but I’m going to take the precaution of doing it anyway:

Don’t double-date.

How would you feel if the woman had to get away from you quickly because she’s going on her next date?

Women are not stupid. We know ourselves that you dance at different weddings. While that’s not wrong with friends with benefits, we still find it unattractive if you brag about this..

“Secrecy” and “thoughtfulness” are important keywords here.

>> Want To Turn Her On? Try These 9 Dirty Talk Phrases and Tips.

Tip #5: Know where to start

I hope you know yourself well enough to know where you’re going to start. If you know that you’re not ready for a relationship right now or simply don’t want one, then a friends with benefits relationship is perfect.

But such a thing only works if you’ve made it clear from both sides that it won’t become more.

Therefore, don’t try to enter a friends with benefits relationship with a woman you’ve a crush on, otherwise the whole thing will start on the wrong foot.

Make sure your intentions are clear. End the “relationship” when you notice that one of you is developing feelings and the other side doesn’t want it anymore.

So, bro, now you can officially call yourself THE friends with benefits expert. If there are any questions, just ask me in the comments.

And have a look at my free Transformation Kit.

It turns you into the guy women line up for to have all kinds of relationships that you’re looking for.

Your bro,
Dan de Ram

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and painful rejections

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