11 Liberating Tips When You’re Stuck in a Dry Spell

Does your sexlife resemble the Sahara desert?

Are you not meeting any cute women and would your Johnson like some attention from someone other than you?

Or do your dates and nights out end in the bedroom but always by yourself?

Then you’ve come to the right place.

Because in this article you will learn…

  • 11 Handy tips that will help you get a lady in bed in no-time
  • The most important questions to ask yourself to get an amazing and abundant love-life
  • How to instantly become more self-confident
  • How to get more attention from women
  • How to make sure that women see you as a sexually attractive man and not as BigBird from Sesame Street
  • And much, much more to get out of a dry spell…

By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?

You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.

This article is the beginning of the end of your long dry spell. Time to change your sex life once and for all!

Make your dry spell a thing from the past!

Let’s not beat around the bush:

Going through a dry spell sucks.

It’s frustrating, can feel lonely and if it’s been going on for a while it can be a major blow to your confidence.

Now I could treat you to a speech in which I tell you how bad I feel for you…

Or I could say a lot of sweet and encouraging words that will make you feel better for a while…

But we both know that will do you no good.

You want to get out of this dry spell as soon as possible.

And with that, my dear reader, I’m happy to help you.

But we both know there’s no magic spell to instantly change that.

(And meeting up with ‘a lady of the night’ is not a long term option).

And a long term solution is precisely what we want, so you don’t have to go through those long dry spells ever again.

So, what do we need to change this situation as fast as possible?

Not just the tips I will give you right now, but also a promise you will make me:

Read every last letter of this article and then take massive amounts of action.

Capiche? Promise?

”Yes!, I’m ready. I’m done with this dry spell so let’s get started!

That’s the spirit.

Here they are:

How to get out of a dry spell: 11 tips

Good news: you don’t have to do a raindance.

What you do have to do, starts with…

Tip #1: Don’t be a spectator in your own sex life, become a player

You could have watched a thousand basketball games, it doesn’t make you Michael Jordan.

The same applies to sex.

Binging Pornhub clips may seem like a nice distraction when you’re going through a dry spell but believe me, it’s not.

In fact: excessive use of porn and masturbation will only bring you further from your goal.

Research about the influence of pornography on your brain is quite clear on the subject.

Watching countless of babes and sexscenes give our brain intense dopamine shots. Not only does this make porn addictive, it also plays a trick on our mind.

Our primitive brain does not know the difference between seeing sex on a screen or having sex in real life.

In other words: our brain thinks we’re killing it with the ladies but in reality we’re not. You’re just a spectator. A mere voyeur.

So you don’t experience sex as something active but as something passive.

Besidess, orgasming gives us a ‘satisfied’ feeling which makes us even less motivated to take action.

(On top of that, you usually don’t feel much better if you’re watching your laptop screen holding a soaked Kleenex). .

Because of all this, you’re not in the mood to actively meet women and change your dry spell situation.

In other words: porn and masturbating are not helping you right now. They are working against you. Promise yourself to stop this or to masturbate just once a week, without porn.

It will give you the drive to change your situation as fast as possible and you will enjoy real sex even more.

Become a player, not a spectator.

Tip #2: Ask yourself these questions and attract better women

Pay close attention because this is an important step that only few men think about.

(Thus continuing their dry spell).

Ask yourself:

What do I really want?

And it may seem obvious:

“Duh… I just want a woman in my bed. As soon as possible.”
– Answer of most men.

But that’s not always a good motivation.

Why is that?

Well, because of this you get focused solely and purely on sex. And that…. makes you needy.

Neediness is one of the biggest turn offs for women.

That’s exactly why you want to change your focus and make women do their best for YOU. Not the other way around.

You do that by asking yourself the following questions:

  • What kind of woman am I looking for?
  • What kind of woman is a good match for me?
  • What kind of woman is absolutely NOT a good match for me?
  • What kind of behavior should a woman display to really gain my interest?

By thinking about this, you create several benefits for yourself:

  • You only invest your time/energy in women that are a good match for you
  • You take away the pressure of ‘having to get laid ASAP’
  • You become less needy because you are the one who chooses. That will make you more attractive
  • Precisely that will get you closer to your goal

Tip #3: Change the subconscious thoughts that are holding you back

There’s an interesting phenomenon you want to be aware of when you’re going through a long dry spell.

Surprisingly enough, this phenomenon comes from research into the legal system.

This research showed that a part of the interrogated suspects confessed their crimes, even if they didn’t commit them.

One of the reasons why this happens is because of the pressure that the interrogators put on the suspect to quickly get a confession. That’s how they suck the suspect into a reality that is not true.

That’s how some suspects create memories and beliefs that are not correct.

And if that keeps going on for long enough, they will even believe that they’re guilty.

So, what can we learn from this?

If you live in a certain reality for long enough, you will start to believe it.

And that is dangerous.

Because maybe you’ve been going through a dry spell for a while and thoughts like these pop up:

  • “I’m not worthy of sex.”
  • “I’m not attractive enough.”
  • “Maybe I will never have sex again.”
  • “It’s very difficult for me to get sex.”

Become very aware of these kinds of thoughts. Realize that it’s not reality. You just think that’s it’s reality.

Change these kinds of beliefs into:

  • “I too am human and that’s why I’m more than worthy of sex.”
  • “I’m going through a dry spell right now but I’m working hard to change that.”
  • “Having sex is not hard, as long a I keep an active attitude to change the situation.”
  • “I’m going to enjoy this whole process and see it as an opportunity to develop myself.”(I’ll come back to this one later).


We humans have the power to give our own meaning to a situation.

If you can change your meaning to your advantage, you change your reality to your advantage.

And that’s how your journey not only becomes more fun, it becomes easier as well.

Tip #4: Find places where it becomes easy to meet women

“Dude, I’m going through the longest dry spell ever. There’s just no end to it.”

It was something a friend of mine told me.

And it bothered me when he said it.

Don’t get me wrong, I feel bad for him that he’s not getting laid.

But the situation was similar to an obese man complaining that he’s too fat while he never works out.

I asked him what he was doing to change his predicament.

His answer:

“I go out from time to time but there never really are cute women.”

This was a lie.

Yes, he goes out every now and then but there most certainly were cute women. The painful truth was that he was using the same excuse over and over again. Namely that they weren’t ‘cute enough.’

Just so he didn’t have to go up to them.

He took zero action. He didn’t meet any women. He didn’t even date online.

Only to be surprised that he was going through a dry spell.

Don’t be like this guy. Take action.  

If the mountain does not come to Moses, Moses will come to the mountain. Or something like that.

Anyway: Yes, it’s nerve-wracking to meet women. It requires big balls and it’s vulnerable as f*ck.

But is it worth it in the end?

If the answer for you is ‘Yes’ then let me say this:

I’m proud of you.

You’ve earned this article with 19 tips to meet women:

>> 19 Best Places Where to Find Your Type of Girls.

Tip #5: Work on your attraction and learn to seduce

Bro, listen carefully.

*Puts hand on your shoulder*.

I know what you’re going through.

Many years ago, I too went through a very long dry spell.

I broke up with my first girlfriend and I was heading into a period of drought.

No bueno.

But thankfully, fate was on my side.

In fact, it was this period that I began to invest in myself massively.

All the theory I could find about seducing women, I soaked up like a sponge.

And much more important:

I put it into practice.

It took a while before I became really good. It was a road littered with falling and getting up again.

But after a while I had trained myself to the extent that it began to pay off.

I met beautiful women. I had fun dates. My dry spell slowly turned into an unstoppable monsoon.

And do you know what the best part is?

You can do this too. Picking up women isn’t something that you ‘just have’ or don’t have.

Seduction is a skill. You can get better at it.

And these articles will also help you become an absolute babe magnet:

>> 19 Tips How to Pick Up a Girl – Get Her Easily

>> How to Tempt a Girl: The Complete Guide to Seduce her

3 Tips that will make you attractive to every woman

“Please don’t be too friendly to me… 

Don’t be too sweet…

You’re just making me fall.

– Anonymous

Sounds familiar?

It’s one of the biggest reasons men go through a dry spell:

They’re too friendly/sweet to women.

Don’t get me wrong: you should treat people with respect, that includes women.

But if you’re always a super friendly and innocent goody two shoes you won’t get far. Unless you want the same level of attraction as Big Bird of Sesame Street.

But don’t worry, I have good news. You can change your behavior.

And even better news:

You don’t have to become a rude d*ck to seduce women.

What you do want to do is the following:

Tip #6: Learn to see sex as extremely normal

(Hopefully) you’re not ten years old anymore.

Which means that when the topic sex comes up, you don’t have to snicker like a child.

It also means that you shouldn’t sweep it under the rug as if you’re celibate.

To have sex, you need to view and treat it as something normal.

Educate yourself on the topic. Get to know it. Learn to be OK with it.

Dare to talk about it with women. Dare to make an (appropriate) sexy comment every now and then while flirting with a woman.

It might be a bit exciting at first but remember: you want to be a sexually attractive man. Not Big Bird.

Tip #7 Be a man, not a giggling girl

Don’t get me wrong: women love to giggle…

…with their friends.

So if you want to join the giggle fest like you’re part of the Gossip Girls, be my guest.

But know that if you will act extremely feminine, you will be treated as such. You will be seen as their ‘girl-friend’. Not as an attractive man.

Is that what you want? No.

That’s why it’s about time to develop your masculinity.

Learn how to do that right here:

>> How To Develop The 7 Masculine Traits Women Find Attractive

Tip #8: Don’t be a pleaser, be a teaser

They’re is a fun Dutch saying that’s used when young boys tease young girls:

“Teasing the misses, is asking for kisses.”

I hope you didn’t just break your jaws trying to pronounce that.

Anyway, loosely translated the saying means: “Teasing girls is asking for kisses.”

Funnily enough this saying also rings very true for adults.

In fact, women love to be challenged and to get teased a little.

That’s because teasing elicits emotion. And there’s nothing that the female brain loves more than emotions.

What absolutely does NOT elicit emotion is a guy who is only nice all the time, does exactly what she wants and forms zero challenge.

Dare to disagree with her. Don’t always be so annoyingly available. And most of all:

Dare to tease her. Find out how to do that right here:

>> How to Tease Women – 7 Ways She Actually Likes + 11 Examples.

Tip #9: Use your sexual energy to your advantage

This tip will help you become more attractive immediately.

And the best thing about it is: you’re using a disadvantage to your advantage.

Let me explain it to you.

Recently I had a coaching call with a client who did NoFap.

In other words: he abstained from masturbating (which you will be doing as well if you properly read tip #1)

This is what he had to say about it:

“I notice I have way more energy but there’s also a downside. I don’t masturbate and I have been single for a while. Whenever I see a beautiful woman I seem to go crazy. On top of that I feel this intense pressure that I’ve never felt before.”

To which I answered:

“That’s perfect!”

The reason being:

You see, when you come, a lot of sexual energy gets lost. If you abstain from coming, that energy will remain inside you.

This might result in a pressurized feeling but it has one big advantage:

It’s pure nitrogen for the engine of success.

Because you can focus that excess energy on things that make you more successful and attractive. For example:

  • Going hard at the gym
  • Completely focussing on a work project and working your butt off
  • Motivating yourself even more to keep taking care of yourself and to keep growing
  • Using this energy to help other people
  • Using this energy as a motivator to approach a good looking lady

Et voilà: by doing all these things you will become a happier and more attractive person.

This will not only make you feel better, you will also lead a more attractive and richer life.

Do you want more tips to develop yourself into the most attractive, masculine and powerful version of yourself?

Read this article:

>> The 19 Most Practical Personal Growth & Development Tips You’ll Find.

Tip #10: Surround yourself with people you admire and can learn from

”You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with”
– Jim Rohn

OK, if this statement were to be 100% true, I would be a very macabre, clumped together creature that consists of:

  • My girlfriend
  • My brothers
  • A few of my best friends

But that’s not what we mean of course.

It’s about the insight Jim Rohn shared with us long ago:

You will become who you hang out with.

In other words: do you hang out with a group of 40 year old virgins who never take action and only play Magic the Gathering? Then that’s not exactly the environment that will motivate you to get out of a dry spell.

(Nothing against Magic by the way, that game is awesome).

Anyway, the point is that you rather want to surround yourself with people who:

  • Invest in themselves
  • Lead attractive and rich lives
  • Don’t have problems stepping out of their comfort zone
  • Are good at seducing women / actively meet women
  • …. Are women themselves 😉. The more women you meet, the higher the odds you will stop your dry spell. If you make sure you don’t get friendzoned of course (check out tip #6)

“But Dan, do I really have to let my friends go?”

Generally speaking you don’t. Unless those friends – for whatever reason – have a really bad influence on your health/wellbeing.

It’s mostly about being clearer about the type of people you spend a lot of time with.

It’s not without reason that the participants of our seduction courses suddenly get tremendous results after taking part in these bootcamps.

After all, at these trainings, they get to know people who also want to develop themselves and get better with women.

And yeah, that is quite infectious.

So, make sure you have the right people around you.

Do you find it hard to make new friends? Take a look at this article:

>> 7 Foolproof Ways to Make New Friends Later in Life.

Tip #11: Give yourself time and enjoy the ride

If you paid attention today you can easily answer the following question:

What is one of the biggest turn-offs for women?

A: An insecure man without a smidgen of self-love

B: A needy man

C: A negative man who only whines and complains

“Uhhmm…. if I remember correctly the answer is B?”

All right, I’ll be honest with you: this was a bit of a trick question. Because all the answers above are really big turn-offs.

(But B is the only one I mentioned in this article so you can pat yourself on the back if you got it right).

Anyhow, there’s something important I have to tell you.

I understand it’s difficult going through a dry spell… .

I get the frustration.

It’s pretty annoying if even the flies on the wall have a better sexlife than you:

But whatever happens, remember the following:

See this time as the perfect opportunity to develop yourself and meet a lot of amazing women.

Because if you view it that way, you will keep enjoying the process. If you DON’T, you will automatically be committing the above mentioned crimes that turn off women:

  • You get frustrated and insecure which will make you love yourself less and less
  • You become needy and will start to repel women
  • You turn into a nag because it’s ‘not working’

Whatever happens: remain positive. It might be challenging sometimes but a positive attitude makes the process more fun and it works to your advantage.

So if you’ve had it: motivate yourself by taking a break and remembering why you’re doing this.

Not just to get between the sheets with the next best woman you meet…

But to challenge yourself, to work on yourself and to become the most attractive boss version of yourself that you can possibly be.

To help you do that I have one little extra for you:

The free Transformation Kit.

This kit contains among other things:

  • Approaching tips
  • Flirting tips
  • Tips to get out of the Friendzone
  • The #1 secret of the sexually attractive man
  • And much, much more…

In other words: this kit will transform your love life for good.

Allow yourself to have it. Download the kit for free by clicking on the link below.

I’ll talk to you in the next article, adios hermano.

Your Bro,
Dan de Ram

Stop awkward conversations
and painful rejections

My free Transformation Kit will make you irresistible to women.

  • 12 Opening Lines that Actually Work
  • 5 Date Generating Texting Tips (Plus Copy-Paste Lines for Tinder)
  • The Friendzone Escape-Room Trick
Yes, give me the Transformation Kit!

Related articles


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *