If you clicked on this article, chances are you’re feeling shittier right now than the women’s duo of 2 Girls 1 Cup.
The love of your life has left you, and your world has collapsed.
But don’t worry.
As an experienced dating coach, I can give you 5 effective tips to help you overcome your lovesickness faster than you might think.
I‘ll show you:
- 5 Tips to loosen yourself from infatuation
- What you can learn about getting over infatuation from drug junkies
- How to stop infatuation: The #1 principle to become INVULNERABLE
- What you should NEVER do if you are lovesick and want to stop infatuation
- How to deal with infatuation: The fundamental mindset to have a positive mood all the time
- And much more tips on how to overcome infatuation and lovesickness…
By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
Yeah, I know. It sounds crazy…
… even though my warm personality comes so close to pure perfection that I seldom make mistakes, I am rejected now and then.
Because your favorite f*ckboy is also just a human being, and that means that women sometimes make the incomprehensible mistake of turning me down or leaving me.
Well, life is hard.
But it is exactly such situations that make me want to become the most motivated dating coach on Mother Earth and help hundreds (thousands?) of men.
And today it’s all about being infatuated.
To understand how to stop being infatuated you must first look straight into its ugly face.
That’s why I’m first going to show you what’s going on in your body when you have a broken heart.
This process is very complex, and we could dive deep into the biochemistry of love, but that would go beyond the scope of this article. I’ll keep it short and sweet for simplicity…
Love is so f*cking painful for a reason.
It’s because, as dozens of studies repeatedly show, the same areas of your brain are active when you have a broken heart as when you have a broken bone.
More specifically, your brain makes NO difference between physical and emotional pain.
But why the hell is that?
The reason for this has been genetically anchored in our species for thousands of years.
Fact is: If our ancestors hadn’t carried reward centers in their brains, humans would most likely have gone extinct eons ago.
The hormones that are released when we fall in love are essential for our survival.
Let me explain why.
How to get rid of infatuation: 5 tips
As soon as we fall in love, our body releases vast amounts of happiness hormones – a cocktail of dopamine, noradrenaline and oxytocin.
This explosive cocktail makes us want to bond with people and reproduce with them.
When it really gets going, it can even put you in a trance state and make you addicted.
In fact, according to the research, the same chemical substances are released in the brain of lovers as in drug addicts.
This is also the reason why people in love sometimes get involved with toxic partners who harm them in the long term.
You’re addicted to them.
Love is a double-edged sword.
As long as it’s confirmed, you feel butterflies in the pit of your stomach.
But as soon as it’s taken from you, electrical, neuronal impulses wipe you out – you get lovesick.
And when you think back to Uncle Evolution, it makes sense.
Your survival instinct is not at all happy that you can’t reproduce for the time being (after all you don’t have a sexual partner anymore), and you feel as if someone has ripped your heart out.
How can you overcome this pain quickly? I’ll show you now.
Tip #1: Recognize your new freedom
Many men end up in a deep, self-destructive black hole after a breakup.
They’ve spent so much time with their supposed Mrs. Right during their relationship that they no longer know how to use their time otherwise.
Because of their dissatisfaction, they crave fast dopamine rushes.
So, what do they do?
- They sit in front of the TV 24/7 and watch Superbowl reruns on a continuous loop
- They stuff their stomachs with junk food
- They ‘revive’ past bad habits and smoke again, for example
- They devote themselves entirely to their night elves on World Of Warcraft and avoid real social contact
Don’t get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with having a burger or playing a round of WoW from time to time.
But, if you’re constantly looking for fast dopamine after a breakup, you’re on a dark path…
You run the risk of letting yourself go and losing control over your life.
If your girlfriend has played the biggest role in your life so far, you are extremely vulnerable right now…
If it went well with her, you felt great.
If, on the other hand, there were tough arguments between you, you probably felt terrible.
Until now, your happiness has been largely dependent on her.
And now you don’t have much left to firm your mood up – at least that’s how you feel.
Without your girlfriend, your life seems almost worthless.
But let me tell you something, bro…
You’re not in a birdcage.
As a single man, you have more freedom than ever before.
Here are some important freedoms to focus on:
- You have time to work on yourself: After all the time you spent being considerate of your chica, now you can focus on yourself. Go on the trip you’ve always dreamed of, learn the instrument you’ve always wanted to play, dedicate yourself to career opportunities that you may have missed out on during your relationship. In other words, do what you’ve always wanted to do.
- You have sexual freedom: Yes, you certainly had wonderful experiences with her, but maybe she had some traits that weren’t a good fit for you. Now you can meet as many women as you want and find out what type of woman you REALLY like — all without negative consequences or as*hole ‘cheating moves’.
- You can strengthen your friendships: Everyone knows him. Before he was in a relationship, he was the most adventurous dude in your social circle, but since he has been with her, the lion has become a domestic cat. He is only rarely present at ‘men’s evenings’, and he’s no longer available for bar or club visits at all. Does this sound familiar? If you’ve spent a lot of time with your ex, chances are your friends have fallen too short. Now you finally have time to make up for it and go (again) on epic adventures with your homies. Make something out of it.
Tip #2: Spark the bromance
You can have a luxurious life with a great job and noble life goals.
Nevertheless, your brain will be yearning for affection.
Without a girlfriend, it can be very difficult to satisfy your needs…
Perhaps you have heard from self-appointed ‘self-help gurus’ that you ‘just have to love yourself’ to fill the void you might experience.
And, yes, accepting yourself is essential for high self-esteem…
But, if you think that you are not dependent on foreign affection, then you are naiver than I thought.
Even the most isolated Shaolin monks in the deepest mountains of Tibet have a clan with whom they meditate.
Many people think that the affection of their partners and of their family and friends are two completely different things
However, this assumption is complete bullsh!t.
Relationships – apart from their sexual character – are nothing more than a more intense form of affection.
Behind them lies the same love you feel for your best bros, your mother or your grandfather.
And that’s exactly what you’re taking advantage of with this tip.
By seeing your separation as an opportunity to do many things with your closest circle.
This has two advantages:
- You can get your grief off your chest (and process your pain): A brofist and some infamous jokes between amigos work true wonders.
- You strengthen your connection to the people who mean the most to you and support you.
And now that we’re already in a sentimental share-the-love-<3 mode anyway, we can continue with the next tip…
Tip #3: Catapult yourself into an upward spiral
If you’re one of the more attentive readers and have followed the previous tips in this article, you’ve already invited your bros to a poker night…
Nevertheless, I want to protect you from a pitfall into which many men fall…
In the previous tip, I recommended that you share your grief with your closest friends and family.
This is a fundamental step toward overcoming your lovesickness.
However, most men make the mistake of getting stuck in a victim role.
They share their fate over and over again and feel sorry for themselves.
In doing so, they don’t realize that they aren’t making any improvements.
On the contrary.
They don’t just get sadder from being stuck in their own thoughts…
After a while, they even pull their fellow human beings down emotionally like dementors.
This doesn’t mean you should hide your feelings.
It isn’t wrong to have a good cry and let out all of your grief.
However, you must understand that it isn’t easy for your fellows to provide you with 24/7 succor. After a while, it’s just exhausting for them and ‘recovery-inhibiting’ for you.
So, you have to realize that the past is gone, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Instead, shift your focus and start pushing your life in a positive direction.
Start with small steps and spread positivity:
- Compliment the old lady next to you on the bus stop for her perm.
- Give the cashier in the supermarket a smile and wish her an excellent day.
- Skim through your phone book and call a stranger to tell him a stupid joke and make his day.
- Invite your folks over for coffee and cake.
- Help a compañero with his renovation.
This will help you to get back into a positive mindset. You create a positive upward spiral in which you give positivity and get it back through your actions.
By doing so, you catapult your negative thoughts into a healthy direction.
Tip #4: Activate the reset button
To overcome your heartache, it’s essential to not be constantly reminded of your ex.
Otherwise, it’s impossible to forget her…
So, what can you do about it?
- Delete your ex on all social platforms and from your contacts (this way you will no longer be regularly confronted with posts suggesting that she’s living a perfect life without you).
- Put all of the pictures and gifts you have of her in a box and store them in a place where you rarely go (the attic, garage, a buddy’s basement…).
- Remove all songs from your Spotify playlist that might remind you of her.
I know these steps can feel like cold turkey.
But, if you get through it, you won’t relapse, and you will reach a feeling of independence.
And from there you can make your (love) life your b!tch.
Tip #5: Break up with her like a boss
If you’ve been cheated on by your girlfriend, I can totally understand if you’re miserable…
Her as*hole move can make you feel like you’re not enough for her, so she had to go find other guys.
If she hasn’t apologized to you yet, you may be carrying an especially huge grudge.
However, you shouldn’t wait for her to take the first step and come toward you.
As a man, it’s your responsibility to take the lead and address what bothers you.
Question her motives for the fling.
You may find that you contributed more to it than you think.
After you’ve found the reason for your relationship failure, you can refocus on yourself and learn from your mistakes.
By the way, if you ever run into your ex on the street, you don’t have to ignore her.
Say hello to her, and then get on with your life.
There’s no reason to treat each other disrespectfully, no matter how disastrous your relationship was before it ended—even if your ex brought nothing but negativity into your life.
How to stop being infatuated: The highway to overcoming lovesickness
With the above tips, we’ve already kicked your love pain in its wrinkled cojones. You know what the effects of infatuation is – including its dangers.
However, I have a tip for you that can change your life in a flash (as long as you put it into practice in a disciplined way).
*perfectly timed drum roll*
Date other women.
After a breakup, many men have the illusion that they will NEVER find a woman like their ex again.
And, yes, it’s quite likely you won’t find an exact copy of her…
However, you now have the chance to meet a woman who not only looks better than your ex, but also fits better to you.
I mean, it would be naive to think that out of 3,850,000,000 women on this planet, there isn’t a second one for you to like.
This is why I created a free Transformation Kit for you.
After reading it carefully and implementing the tips in it, “Why do I become infatuated so easily?” shouldn’t be a problem of yours anymore.
You will learn everything you need to know to improve your love life:
- Including some of my best opening lines that always hook
- 20+ flirting examples and conversation boosters to seduce the ladies
- And attractive man advice; how to become the man women stand in line for
Have fun with it!
Dan de Ram