There’s a woman in your life you’re totally in love with. You think about her all the time and are already dreaming about a relationship with her.
However she is holding you off. And you have no idea why.
There is a term for this crappy situation where you love someone but are not loved back:
In this blog post you will learn:
- 7 things to do when a woman doesn’t love you
- Why unanswered love is selfish
- How to avoid getting into a negative spiral when she has no feelings for you
- Unrequited Love Psychology: How you free your brain from the addiction that has you on the hook
- And much more…
By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
With that said let’s detach you from your one-sided love.
Dealing with unrequited love: 7 things you should do now
I consider myself an open-minded person. When it comes to that expression, though, don’t expect tolerance from my side.
Because unrequited love is bullshit.
And yet, it is romanticized.
Ed Sheeran sings about it, Hollywood directors produce movies about it, and every romance novel makes use of it in some way…
Let me get one thing straight: THERE’S ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ROMANTIC ABOUT IT.
In fact, I don’t even think it’s love.
Real love is never one-sided. You cannot sit at home in a dark room and love a person in isolation. This is not love, this is a light form of obsession.
You’re not the only one who’s in this situation. In fact, there are millions of people walking the streets right now whose love is not being answered.
Actually, you only have two options:
- Go on the offensive with your seduction
It can work, but it’s risky. There is no faster way to cut off a piece of your self-esteem and feed it to dogs than to go after a woman who does not feel the same way about you.
If you want to know how to make a woman crazy about you, read this article for this:
→ 11 Subtle Ways to Seduce a Woman Without Being Creepy
- Let her go
I’m sure that’s not what you want either.
When you are in love, you want nothing more than to be with that person.
Do you want to know what amazes me?
Although, there are only two options, many people manage to do neither, and they sink into an ocean of self-pity like the Titanic instead.
So let’s not do that.
Tip #1: Don’t be selfish
There is absolutely nothing glorious about chasing after a woman who can’t return your feelings, even if Hollywood wants you to think so.
It may sound harsh, but I would go so far as to call you selfish.
Because you don’t realize that you were turned down.
Well, in your case it’s probably harmless, at least for her, but I think you can see how it can lead to stalking or rape in extreme cases.
This is a very serious situation you’re in.
I’m not saying that you are moving in that direction, but I want your alarm bells to go off and to have you realize that you HAVE to let her go.
It’s normal to want something back when you invest in something, and it’s the same with emotions.
However, we read and hear everywhere that true love is supposed to be unconditional.
>> How to Approach a Lady on the Street: From ‘Hi’ to Date in 5 Steps
Here is how I see it:
If you really love her, you respect that she doesn’t want to be with you, wish her all the best in life. Put on your cowboy hat and ride off like an action hero towards the sunset.
Tip #2: Realize you’re addicted
The first important step in fighting an addiction is to admit to yourself that you are addicted.
Now, I’m not saying that you suffer from cocaine addiction, but your condition is comparable to that in many ways.
That would also explain why you’re having such a hard time letting her go.
In fact, you probably would if you could.
What’s stopping you?
It’s simple, your brain chemistry.
When you are in love, a lot of hormones with a high addictive potential are released such as:
And the list goes on.
Even if you really want to let the woman go, this hormonal cocktail makes it almost impossible.
You find yourself in a situation where your body is dependent on these hormones It punishes you through symptoms of withdrawal, if you do not continue to chase her.
Many men laugh about victims, but that is easy when you are not in that situation yourself. And they forget that they themselves were probably trapped in that unrequited love cage once…
How long this addiction lasts is hard to say. In some cases it can even be years.
Here is my unanswered love story:
When I was in love for the first time, but my feelings were not appreciated, it took me about 15 months to really let go of her completely.
But I didn’t know then what I know now.
Together we will create a strong starting position where you can blow away your emotional dependencies like the Terminator.
>> Best Way to Start a Tinder Conversation if You Want More Dates
Tip #3: Aim at the right target
You may not be the Terminator, but you can aim just as well. The only problem is:
You picked the wrong target.
One where all your bullets bounce off without effect.
Getting over unrequited love is an impossible task then.
If you shoot at other targets for a while (and have fun doing so), at some point you won’t care that there is one you can’t hit.
I’m not the biggest Tony Robbins fan. He is a bit too mainstream for my taste… but I have to admit that sometimes he says wonderful things, like:
When we focus on something, it gets fueled.
This happens when we focus on positive emotions, but also when we focus on negative ones.
Life is all about momentum.
When you feel good, you often discharge negative shit with ease.
However, when you feel bad, you often get caught up in a negative spiral, where you feel more and more shitty every day, until it seems impossible to ever get out of this vicious circle.
Now imagine that all areas of your life skyrocket in all areas. Your career is better than ever, you have badass friends who are always there for you. Your muscles are hard, and you are fit and healthy.
Do you think that would make it easier to deal with unrequited love?
Of course! Much easier.
Unfortunately, the damage is already done. But you can still engage in other things and lift up your spirit.
I’m not one of these gurus who say:
Far from it. But it is more than obvious that it is not good to focus on a woman who does not return your love.
For this reason it can be healing to concentrate on the other areas of your life:
- Social life
These areas often fade into the background when we are in love.
Bring them back to the fore!
>> How to Tease Women – 7 Ways She Actually Likes + 11 Examples
Tip #4: Be turned off
Many fall even more in love when the woman is not interested in them.
Why is that?
Well, men love challenges.
When the teacher comes into a classroom full of pupils with a heavy box, and asks who is strong enough to help her, all the boys’ hands go up, and they fight over who is allowed to help.
But love is not a challenge.
In fact, it should be a huuuge turn-off for you when a woman is not attracted to you.
Your reaction should look like this and no other:
“Oh, you can’t see yourself dating me? Good, because now I definitely can’t see myself dating you!”
Why would you put yourself through this torture and chase a woman who doesn’t think you’re great enough?
There is also a term for it:
According to Wikipedia, it occurs when a person experiences pleasure or satisfaction by being hurt.
In your case, it’s psychological pain that you’re exposing yourself to.
I think you deserve a woman who loves you at least as much as you love her.
You should think the same, and set it as your minimum requirement for any relationship.
Tip #5: Dominate the gym
I’m not just giving this tip because I love fitness. No, from a scientific point of view, it also makes perfect sense to devote yourself to weight training.
This study shows that regular training increases the probability of successful drug withdrawal.
The hormones I mentioned earlier, which are responsible for the feeling of being in love, can be regulated by physical activity.
The deeper you are in emotional pain, the more exercise you have to do to rebalance your hormones.
I guess I don’t have to mention that a better appearance is a nice bonus that you can also enjoy. 😉
>> 7 Kissing Tips and Techniques to Become an Amazing Kisser
Tip #6: No contact
This is a little extreme, but surprisingly effective.
Which woman is easier to get over?
The one you text every day and see regularly?
Or the one you haven’t seen or heard from in a long time?
Most would probably describe the latter as “easier”.
The main reason why it took me so long to get over the woman I was talking about earlier was:
She kept me on her hook.
Whenever I wanted to give up, she got my hopes up. Whenever I went on the offensive, she gave me the cold shoulder.
I could be mad at her for this in hindsight, but you know what? I probably would have done the same thing.
It is nice to know that you are desired. Most of us are selfish enough to keep the source of such validation alive.
The reason why you have to stay away from the woman you love is simple: she will subconsciously do everything to keep you feeling that way about her.
We should not judge her for it, we should act against it.
- Unfollow her on all social media
- If you’re friends, end the friendship with her
- Delete her cell phone number
- Don’t go to parties she’s invited to.
Be absolutely strict, even if it’s hard for you. The more consistent you are with your self-induced ban on contact, the faster you will achieve emotional freedom.
>> Get Out of the Friend Zone & Into Her Lover Zone – 13 Magic Moves
Tip #7: Plan a date marathon to move on from unrequited love
I saved the most effective tip for last.
Today, I am not scared of getting my heart broken at all, because I know that I can always rely on this method.
I discovered it coincidently.
My girlfriend and I broke up after two years. It was the most successful relationship I ever had.
Deepest connection, hot sex and the feeling of having a soul mate…
I felt accordingly miserable, and I rowed on an imaginary boat through my sea of manly tears.
Two friends of mine came by and comforted me, but I only felt worse afterwards.
I soon realized that it was no use sitting at home, blowing snot out of my nose.
I decided to have a shock therapy.
I somehow had the feeling that it would do me good to do things that were completely opposite to what my head was telling me.
The big tissue box was put aside, the jacket put on and the house was left…
I approached the first pretty woman I encountered:
I reached out my hand and she started to laugh.
We walked through a park for another ten minutes, and she kept asking questions about my lost love. In the end we exchanged numbers, hugged each other and I knew right away:
DAAMN, that felt good.
I went on three dates the following week, even though I didn’t feel like it at all.
Never before have I gotten over a breakup so quickly…
You don’t have to be as extreme as me, and go on three different dates this week.
But there are many reasons why it is a good idea to meet other women:
- You can shake off some negative emotions.
- You realize there are other women who are pretty cool. As a result, the illusion that she is the only one in the world for you fades away.
- You’re sharpening your social skills. You don’t have to sleep with your date. Sometimes it’s just nice to sharpen your killer instincts with the ladies. You’ll need it in the future anyway.
- You’ll get validated. Let’s not pretend that it’s sinful to enjoy some validation. Everyone does this to some degree. Your self-image has taken a lot of beating, and now you need to pick it up again. Attention from beautiful women can help.
How to let go of one-sided love
A dating marathon to forget your unrequited love doesn’t come easy. You gotta know how to subtly let women know you’re a cool motherfucker.
How do you do it?
For this purpose I have put together your Transformation Kit, which you will receive immediately free of charge if you enter your e-mail address below.
I wish you nothing but the best.
Dan de Ram
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