How to Get Through a Breakup? 5 Expert Tips that Helped Me

Dan de Ram

30 Jul 2020 by Dan de Ram

It’s over.

A thing of the past.

Finito. Game over.

You’ve had a wonderful time – but now it’s…

‘time for Tubby bye bye.’

The relationship with your lady is over, whether she broke up with you or you broke up with her:

It’s time to put your ex behind you and move on with your life.

Just like your great-grandmother Jenna may have advised you to.

And even if she is right with her all-embracing wisdom, that sh!t is easier said than done.

After all, you were probably together for a few weeks, months or even years. You got used to each other and had countless unique experiences together.

Most men ask themselves the following question in the case their girlfriend has left them:

“How do I get her back?”

Since I’ve already written a detailed article about it, I assume in this blog post that you have already decided on the following thing:

“It’s time to forget her and move on with my life.”

First of all:

Congratulations, bro! It takes tremendous balls to come to this decision.

Successfully overcoming the motherf*cker of breakup can be hell. Especially when it brings up self-doubt about whether you can ever be happy without her again.

But take a deeeep breath.

Because in this article, I will show you:

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How to glow up after a breakup: 5 steps to emotional freedom

Step #1: Activate the reset button

Imagine getting a brand-new laptop as a gift.

It’s fantastic and offers you all features you need.

You can movies from the Internet, create fancy PowerPoint presentations about squirrels, and play Minecraft smoothly.

‘Oh my God, I love it,’ you think to yourself, while you can’t imagine that your relationship with this fabulous device could ever end.

But one day it happens…

After you download a dirty strip about the mating behavior of guinea pigs, your beloved laptop gets infected with a virus.

Your Internet connection gets slower than a snail and none of your programs work anymore.

Holy shit.

After calling technical support, you have no choice…You have to activate the reset button.

Because you haven’t secured your files, and they’re infected by now, you have to say goodbye to them once and for all.

And that while you just finished the sequence on how to catch squirrels in the forest in PowerPoint…

Since you have no other choice, you accept your fate and do the reset.

And lo and behold:

With the virus-free laptop, you can continue doing your magic as on day 1 without any problems.

What the hell does this laptop fairy tale have to do with your fresh start?

Well, in order to lose any feelings for your ex, two crucial steps are inevitable.

Delete her from all your social platforms

Nowadays it’s easier than ever before to sink into a deep swamp of paranoia.

After all, you can see exactly

If you are constantly confronted with what she does throughout the day, it’s almost impossible to forget her.

So, remove her from all social media and delete her number.

Remove everything that reminds you of her

You have certainly had great experiences as a team.

But these times now belong to the past.

Probably dozens of mementos have accumulated in your apartment by now.

So, here’s what you do:

You completed steps number one and number two?

Great.

I know these steps can be suuuuper hard, but trust me:

Through them you set your course straight towards a ‘fulfilled, happy and self-determined future’.

Step #2: Post breakup time = Release your emotions time

Crying is for women or pussies?

Forget the bullshit that social conventions impose on us.

Mother Nature has not equipped our head with tear sacs for nothing.

In countless studies like this one, it has already been proven that ‘emotional tears’ (which, by the way, are only formed when we cry out of sadness, anger, joy, etc.) are responsible for two crucial things:

So, there’s not one reason why you should stop your eyes from watering themselves…

Another way to kick your grieving mood in its ass:

Talk to as many people as possible.

“But Dan, why should I bother other people with that?”

Listen, bro.

Your family and your best muchachos notice 102.34% when you aren’t doing so well.

So why the hell would you hide your feelings? Get your grief off your chest.

Believe it or not, everyone has been in love and understands what you are going through.

If they care about you, they will not hesitate for a second to listen to you fully.

What’s in it for you?

By confronting your own pain directly and not running away from it like a frightened antelope, you process it rapidly.

Step #3: Shift your focus

Even if you don’t have to think about her too often anymore, you may still long for the feeling of feminine closeness.

To wake up every day next to a beautiful woman by your side, who loves you infinitely, was a great feeling.

Let me tell you something:

The more often you long for this feeling, the less chance you have of experiencing it again.

Why?

Because with this mindset you are acting out of your unanswered desire.

As a result, you will automatically become needy and desperate for new acquaintances.

So, you will scare off your potential Mrs. Right faster than if you had a stamp on your forehead saying ‘I have AIDS’.

So, what has to be done?

Change your perspective.

Now I’ll show you how you can do it.

How to cope with feelings after a breakup: Pros and cons… with a twist

Yeah, by that, I actually mean making a list.

But I want you to do it differently.

Instead of making a pro and con chart of your relationship with your ex, here’s what you do:

Write down all counterpoints that come to your mind about your last relationships and all pro-points that speak for your new single life.

From your newly won freedom to the possibility of sleeping with a different woman every day, take all the time you need to write down as many points you can think of as possible.

You will be surprised how many advantages your newly won single life will bring.

Feeling lonely after a breakup? Go out with your bros!

Most weekends during your relationship probably looked like this:

During the day, you might go to the city you know better than a tour guide by now and in the evening it’s Netflix & Chill.

Maybe you also had some friends visiting you, but there was less and less variety in the course of your relationship…

If you wanted to go bowling with your compañeros, that might have been okay, but as soon as there was talk of a city trip or a boys night out, you were met with resistance by your lady.

Especially with a jealous partner who progressively restricts your freedom, you gradually and involuntarily transform into a couch potato.

A figure who’s soulless and roaming around the house…

In your new single life, on the other hand, unique new possibilities are revealed to you.

You can go off with your boys without regard for anyone else.

Whether it’s off to the club, to a festival or an intense city trip with a strip salon tour.

As of today:

Adios, restrictions and buenos dias, freedom!

Step #4: Do what you always wanted to do

It is not uncommon for some of your greatest passions to have been neglected during your past relationship.

I remember the tragedy of my buddy, Tim.

He got to know his grace during his business studies. Giuliana was her name.

She had long, wavy, pitch-black hair, deep green eyes and a body with which she outshone even Adriana Lima.

Giuliana was a true 12/10.

So, I was all the more happy for Tim when he entered a relationship with her.

However, with each passing week, he transformed more and more into a man who was unrecognizable.

Tim used to be a euphoric gym-goer and passionate guitarist.

He even played in a band that regularly did fully booked gigs in the local pubs.

Since he had met Giuliana, however, his passions had increasingly faded into the background.

Why?

Because the eye candy at his side took up a lot of his time.

Don’t get me wrong, spending Quality Time together can be wonderful.

Giuliana, however, redefined it and became more possessive than Miney from Lazy Town…

She even went so far that she threatened Tim with a relationship ultimatum if he would rather go play a gig or hit the gym than watch telenovelas with her.

Giuliana was a manipulative woman.

It probably won’t surprise you if I tell you that the relationship failed in the end.

The consequences of the relationship?

Tim was kicked out of the band because he wasn’t in rehearsals anymore and weighed an incredible 10 kilos more because he dropped the gym several times for her.

Maybe it wasn’t so dramatic in your relationship, but be aware of the following:

Now is your time!

All the hours you would have spent with your partner can now be invested in YOU.

Dedicate yourself again to your greatest passions and try out brand new things you’ve always wanted to do:

Step #5: Date, Forrest, date!

You may even be glad that your relationship is over, but in lonely hours you long for some intimate moments with your ex. You might experience feelings after a breakup such as loneliness. And that makes sense.

You lack the passionate fiddling around in the drive-in cinema or the animalistic sex after a long working day.

Especially if you have blue eggs of the highest quality, it is easy for your brain to yearn for your ex.

So what should you do?

Prove to the pink mud between your ears that you don’t need your ex to perform magical coitus.

How?

By meeting new beautiful women.

On our blue planet alone, there are over 3,700,000,000 women.

Don’t you think that there might be one (and with a not so small probability) among them who you might even like better than your ex?

Even if you have the guts to approach women, you’re facing a daunting challenge that most men can’t handle.

They see a hot woman in the club or match her on Tinder and they talk to her.

After a few minutes the inevitable happens, which is what always happens to them:

Their chosen one is leaving.

Whether she ‘just has to go to the toilet’ (in the club), ‘enjoyed meeting him’ or doesn’t answer him at Tinder anymore… something seems to go seriously wrong.

But what the hell is it?

Let me tell you:

They don’t know how to seduce a woman properly.

If you approach 5,000 women on the street, you may find a desperate woman who wants to date you despite your lack of seduction skills.

But between you and me, I am absolutely convinced that you surely have something better to do than to be out on the streets 24/7 to hit on women…

However, you came across this blog post – I’m glad you made it here.

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Have fun rediscovering yourself and taking your love life to the next level, sailor.

Your bro,
Dan de Ram

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