Many men think it’s difficult to have regular one-night stands.
In fact, it’s easier than you might think… if you know what you’re doing.
Why should you believe me? Because I’ve had more of them than is healthy for one human being. (Okay, to be fair I also approached thousands of women, but still.)
How to initiate a one-night stand: The ONS master plan
That’s what you’ll learn in this article:
- 10 Tips to make waking up together your new standard
- Women for one night: What women hope for from a one-night stand
- How many one-night stands Average Andy has
- How you get so good at getting one-night stands that you have to change your sheets every day
- How to make a one-night stand not awkward and turn it into a top experience for a woman
- What you have to do to make your one-night stand a 2-night stand (or even a “more-nights stand”)
- And much more one-night stand tips…
By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
Let me start with a typical story. Typical for me, but not typical for most men, as I realize more and more.
If one can believe this survey, which indicates that the average American man has 7 one-night stands (ONS) in his entire life, you realize that they’re anything but typical.
7 ONSs… how cute!
But more about that later.
Anyway, I was in a casual club in the heart of Amsterdam. I don’t remember exactly how it happened, but I found myself in a conversation with a Spanish beauty.
She was here with a friend. Or she could’ve been called a colleague.
Some convention about supercars has supposedly lured them to Amsterdam; I don’t ask about it any further…
I enjoy her stories and her entertaining and at the same time extremely cute Spanish accent.
You probably also know men who see a conversation only as a necessary step they would like to skip. But I’m different… mostly at least.
Her friend is also a señorita from Spain. We briefly exchange a few words and I then introduce her to a random dude who was just happy enough to be in proximity. She seems to like him.
Now we’re undisturbed… My eyes are scanning my new encounter; or you could compare it more to the target acquisition of a guided missile. She notices it and blushes.
As we speak, my body is operating on autopilot. Because I’ve been on this point so many times, I know exactly what I have to do.
In this mode, nothing is more natural than a man and a woman giving in to the attraction they both feel.
In the past, even before I had kissed a woman for the first time, nothing would’ve been more difficult for me now than to touch her.
But those (sad) times are over. I pull her close to me so that she stands between my legs while I sit comfortably on a bar stool.
I smile, let go of a hand, lean back relaxed and reply:
Her facial features relax noticeably while my thumb caresses the hand I still hold in mine.
In my head we already make love. The club becomes more and more blurry and for a moment everything revolves around us.
We talk about what we would do to each other in bed… hypothetically, of course.
Yes, there are women with whom you can actually talk about sex so explicitly. With most of them you have to flirt more subtly, but my Spanish beauty seems to be very open-minded… I like that in women.
I ask her where her hotel is. But as she shares the room with two other colleagues, we decide to go to my apartment.
Her slim body, resting on the luggage rack of my bike, doesn’t make steering much harder.
We enter my apartment and even before I can close the door behind us, we can’t control our attraction for each other anymore and fall upon each other.
The next day I get a message. She wants to do it again.
How normal are one-night relationships/ stands?
As already mentioned, men have on average 7 ONS in their entire life.
The majority of our coaches at AttractionGym have more than 80… that means, there must be a vast number of men who have never taken a woman home the same night.
So, the difference between men is gigantic.
It’s different with women.
They have on average 6 ONS, but the distribution is much less scattered. That’s because a ONS for women is much more complex.
The question is: What are the different motivations between the sexes to get involved in a one-night stand.
We all know what you want from an ONS. So, let’s take the female perspective instead.
What does a “one-night girl” hope for from a ONS?
Have you ever wondered what women think about meaningless sex?
If women would find ONS so repulsive, it wouldn’t be so easy to have them regularly.
However, it’s true that men are generally more open to “onetime stories” than women.
Because women have often had unpleasant experiences with it.
The three main reasons for this are:
- Many men become very clingy afterward and expect a relationship
- The men are often drunk (and can’t get it up)
- Most men are bad in bed
If you keep these facts in mind, it isn’t surprising that women often regret one-night stands.
But if you follow the tips you learn in this article, the chances are tiny that she’ll regret it with you.
And this is extremely important because at AttractionGym, our goal is to enrich the lives of women.
Call it karma, win-win or just humanity… we think it’s important.
It’s also useful if you want to see a woman again afterwards.
But why would a woman even get involved with an ONS?
What does she get out of it?
Well, the reasons why a woman has sex could hardly be more complex.
We men have sex because we want to have sex. A simple equation that even a 7-year-old rug rat can solve.
But in women the sexual motives are more diverse, more complex and more numerous. (And more shocking.)
Maybe she sleeps with you because…
- She’s bored
- She wants to get over her ex
- She wants to have an adventure
- She wants revenge on her husband
The reasons are endless. Cindy Mestion and David Buss have written a 300-page book called “Why Women have Sex” about it and even they say that it’s just an insight.
But how do you get them to be convinced that it’s a fantastic idea to go home with you – a stranger?
The process of a ONS: 10 tips on how to persuade a girl to have a one-night stand with you
Are you ready? I’m going to release my patented step-by-step plan that will make one-night stands as normal as spreading a slice of bread with butter.
Tip #1: Know your city
Watch it. For many, seduction is a kind of hobby. For me, it’s more than that; it’s my job. That means I leave nothing to chance.
I explore cities like a Roman commander who plans to conquer them until I know every stone that can be useful in the seduction process.
I’m the last person to say that you can’t meet women EVERYWHERE and take them home with you. From supermarkets to public transportation…
And yet one club is more suitable than the other.
What makes the difference?
Most important for this is a relaxed atmosphere. A raging party, good mood music, many tourists, alcohol and party girls.
If you aren’t familiar with your own town yet, you can use it as great conversation material for your next conversations.
Ask anyone you meet for the best clubs and bars. It’s often no secret where it’s easiest to pick up women.
Where I met my Spanish beauty? In a club with a ’90s hits area. Good mood is guaranteed there.
>> Location: Check.
Tip #2: Turn on your DTF radar
There is no science behind the expression “DTF” (= Down To F#ck).
You can often tell by the way a woman seeks eye contact, how animated she dances and how sexy she dresses… and yet these aren’t clear indicators.
The decisive indicator for this is the conversation itself.
Whether she goes home with you or not obviously depends on the chemistry and tension between the two of you.
Of course, it can also happen that a woman goes out with an intention like this:
I like confident women who shit on social conventions and take what they want.
This is a sign of strength and there are no sluts anyway, but women who live out their sexuality more than others. But that’s just my opinion.
Most of the time, however, I enjoy a challenge, which is offered by a woman who hasn’t actually made a ONS her plan.
Most women go out and celebrate without any ulterior motives.
However, this does not mean that you cannot take them home that same evening.
However, if you want to have regular ONS, I advise you to scan for DTF.
It’s very simple.
Which of these two women do you think you’d be better off taking home?
- Is sober because she’s a driver
- Has to get up early the next day because she has to go to work
- Is rather reserved and shy
- Has been drinking since 6:00 p.m.
- Has nothing to do tomorrow
- Flirts a lot and is very “touchy”
You’ll have an easier time with woman 2, of course. If you really want an ONS, you shouldn’t waste your time on Woman 1.
This sounds harsh, but even if you do EVERYTHING right, it can’t result in an ONS because of the factors mentioned above.
How did it look with my Spanish beauty?
Well, she was there with colleagues and she had to get up very early the next day to go to the convention. But she’s only here for a limited time and she’s talking to Dan fucking de Ram, please.
>> DTF: Check.
Tip #3: Isolate her
It’s difficult to build up enough sexual tension when someone comes along every two minutes and bursts the bubble in which you two flirt.
For this reason, it’s damn useful to isolate her from their group/friend, so that there is only one thing left to do: YOU AND HER.
My Spanish beauty was, as already mentioned, travelling with her colleague. What are the chances that I could’ve taken her home with her colleague on our hands?
That’s right, shockingly tiny…
That’s why I wanted to get rid of her by introducing her to a random dude. It’s an excellent win-win situation, if you ask me.
How did I do that? Nothing is easier than that! All you have to do is tap a guy and say:
If he answers yes, you ask:
The answer to this question is basically irrelevant. Homosexual men are also fantastic wingmen. It serves only as a preparation for this sentence:
It’s always better to bring the woman to him than to bring him to the woman. It’s much more comfortable for your new wingman.
So, her friend is “cleaned up” and the flirting can begin.
It’s understandable that one tends to see other men as competitors, but it isn’t particularly helpful. You can see everything in life as either a challenge or an opportunity.
Every other man is then either a competitor or a wingman. It’s your choice…
My Spanish beauty and I are now alone at the bar.
>> Isolating her: Check.
Tip #4: Make sure you aren’t a mass murderer
Many men underestimate how much a woman already likes them. They have problems interpreting the signs of female body language correctly.
Most of the time they don’t realize it it until after a kiss. And then what happens?
They overestimate it…
As a result, they now make everything WAY TOO FAST.
It often happens that a woman wants to kiss you, but doesn’t want to go home with you.
So, how can this be avoided?
By focusing on trust.
Once you know that she likes you, it’s important that you still take your time instead of rushing it. Otherwise, she’ll push the brake pedal all the way down and you’ll have blown your chance.
If she finds out you’re in a hurry, she can’t relax. The principle on which you should act is:
Two steps forward, one step back.
This is essential for ONS.
Put yourself in a woman’s shoes… She goes home with someone she hardly knows and who’s physically stronger than her.
That’s why she must be able to trust you completely.
There are some simple things you can do to create a sense of familiarity between you. For example:
- Introduce her to your friends: That way she’ll know you’re a normal human being with friends. Serial killers often don’t have friends.
- Show her pictures of your family: Maybe you have a funny picture of you as a baby on your smartphone.
- Tell her something that not everyone knows about you: It’s easier for people to trust someone who trusts us.
- Take your time: The next day, no one cares how long it took you to bring her home. More on that later.
I increased the distance between me and my Spanish beauty significantly when she said that I was getting too close to her.
By doing so, I made it clear to her that I have social intelligence and can notice, when it’s going to fast for her. Something that crazy people with dubious ulterior motives don’t possess.
>> Serial killer: No check 😉
Tip #5: Physical contact is natural
Have you ever taken a holiday in a warm country? Exactly then you know what I mean.
If, to give an example, Brazilians don’t touch each other, then something is wrong. Hugs, pats on the shoulder and holding hands are standard communication for them from early morning.
This is exactly the mindset you should have. Not as a seduction technique or trick, but simply because it’s so: Touching each other is normal, healthy and makes you happy (according to science).
And if you want an ONS, then touch is the most effective way to let her know that you want more than just talking about God and the world.
The more you touch her, the more you give her a choice: Sex or rejection? An in-between thing is then no longer possible, but that isn’t what you want anyway.
Ambivalence is your enemy in this situation.
While I was talking to my Spanish beauty, I was holding her hand most of the time.
Sometimes when I take it, I say something, like, “I like to hold your hand.” But mostly I just do it. You’d be surprised how many women are open to that if you just do it with a certain shamelessness.
>> Touch: Check.
Tip #6: Develop an instinct for opportunity
When I have the intention to take a woman home, one of the first things I do is scan for the logistical framework.
What you need for one-night stands is a feeling for opportunities.
It doesn’t matter how flawless your seduction skills are, how good you kiss, or how enthusiastic the woman is… the chances of an ONS rise and fall with externalities.
When I was in Riga for a week, I had a one-night girl in my bed every night. (If you believe the statistics, in 7 days I had as many ONS as the average man in his whole life…)
What was my secret? A new flirting technique? A badass outfit? No…
I spent my nights in an Airbnb apartment, which was directly above a popular bar. Bingo!
Opportunity is the biggest decision factor at one-night stands.
My advice to you is to have a Terminator mindset, for that matter. Opportunity knocks, no matter how difficult it seems sometimes. I’m not saying you have to go as far as I do, but as soon as I enter a club, my eyes are already scanning for dark corners or curtains that could serve as a secret mating place.
You don’t have to take it that seriously, but what you should definitely do is ask for the details so that you can create opportunities.
You can do this by asking the following questions:
- Who are you here with?
- Where do you live/ stay overnight?
- Are you going home together?
- What do you have planned for tomorrow?
Of course, there are other questions you could ask her, but the main thing is to find out:
What’s the situation NOW. What is about to happen. And what will happen later.
Ask the questions as neutrally as possible. Preferably with a “What’s the weather like?” tone. You don’t want to be perceived like you’re a detective interrogating a suspect.
Oh yes, and don’t ask all the questions at once, but “sprinkle” them in your conversation instead.
What about my Spanish beauty?
>> Logistics framework conditions: Check.
Tip #7: Plant the seed
I often say things like:
The reaction of the woman gives me information about how willing she’s to go along with me.
She answers with sentences like:
Looks bad, right?
These are extremely positive reactions. They show that she’s thinking about sex. Sex with you. You planted your seeds. And they’re just growing into a proud little plant.
If you row back now, there’s nothing to reap.
Just answer with a “I understand. Come on, let’s have a drink” and move on.
I’m not a botanist, but given my Spanish beauty, I planted this seed by talking to her about what we would do in bed together.
Ultimately, we reap what we sow.
>> Seeds planted: Check.
Tip #8: Time is on your side
Time is on my side, yes it’s Time is on my side, yes it is… Rolling Stones anyone? Anyone? No? Okay, never mind…
I tested it:
I used to leave the clubs at 2:30 a.m. so I could be productive the next day.
When I started to extend my nights by one hour, the number of my one-night stands tripled, although I did nothing else.
And it makes perfect sense. Let me explain why.
The woman cares a fart for you, she just wants to have an epic night. If a one-night-stand at the end of the night is another exciting aspect of her nightly adventure, then you have a good chance.
But if you want to take her home at 1 a.m. after a 10-minute conversation, it’s like premature ejaculation for a woman… or a movie where she only gets to watch the end…
Sometimes you have to ask yourself: What do I prefer? Sleep one hour longer and never see a woman again or hang out with her for an hour longer and have a great night together?
With my Spanish señorita I spent almost two hours at the club.
“That long?” you ask?
Yeah, you have to invest that much time sometimes. That’s why it’s so important to gather as much information as possible beforehand so that you can assess your chances.
Sometimes your effort is in vain and it would have been better to get the number and press the eject button.
>> Time investment: Check.
Tip #9: When you get home
What’s to be done in the apartment depends strongly on the respective situation. Ideally, you should immediately rip off your clothes, as it was the case with me and the Spanish woman.
But not all women are that easy-going.
If you feel that the woman is still slightly uncomfortable, you should make sure you’re the one who has your foot on the brake pedal instead the other way around.
Give her a tour of your apartment. Put on some music. Drinks will help…
Sit next to her. Massage her. And build her up towards foreplay. Make it as loooooooong as possible. And even longer.
Even until she begs you to finally take her.
The fact that it has an influence on the speed will give her a relaxed feeling.
What woman doesn’t want to be fucked unrestrained after an extensive, passionate foreplay?
Tip #10: The morning after
How you treat her AFTER the ONS is another essential point if you want to make it a beautiful memory for both of you.
Listen. It happens that she gets away as soon as possible and never wants to come back. Sometimes you want to get rid of her and make up some excuse…
But it also happens that it becomes a lifelong love affair. Or at least a temporary one.
If I had a nice (and hot) time with a woman and she doesn’t cling too much, I often want to see her again.
In any case, you should end the thing with the same vibe as you started it. And behind that – if you have studied our articles well – FUN, FUN, FUN.
The most important rule after a ONS: Don’t be strange.
Many people start behaving strangely after an intimate act. And instead of being warm and cheerful now, they’re coldhearted and sad.
That’s too bad.
If the woman experiences you positively and contentedly in the morning, she’ll see you as more self-confident and will probably think about hiding under the same blanket with you again.
So, give her a loving hug, a kiss and text her today.
How to initiate a one-night stand? Check.
At some point you’ll develop your own methods that work for you.
Until then, this master plan can be used universally.
But you’ll still have a hard time if you aren’t sexually attractive to women…
For this I have developed a free Transformation Kit for you, which I’ll send you immediately.
Then you’ll also receive texts from women the next day in which they confess to you that they’re now officially in love with you.
>> Becoming a boss she wants to see again: Check.
Dan de Ram