12 Subtle ways to Impress a Woman and Get Her Full Attention

Dan de Ram

27 May 2020 by Dan de Ram

Either there is a girl you like, or you want to know in general how you can impress women.

It’s a logical question. You like women, you like to be with one or multiple, so you need ways to get their attention.

And make them attracted to you.

No?

Thought so.

You’ve come to the right place to learn how to impress women

Because today I give you:

By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?

You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.

How can I impress a girl? 5 tips that REALLY work

“Can you hold my purse for a second?”  

She looks at me with big eyes, and purses her lips in the cutest way.

I say with a smile:

“There’s a bench right next to you, you can put it on there.”

“You’re such an asshole!”

Her words contradict her body language. She can’t hide the fact that she’s secretly impressed.

You also think I’m an asshole, because I didn’t even do her that little favor? It’s just that I seldom invest a lot of energy into a woman. A smart horse doesn’t jump any higher than it has to.

I know for a fact that at least some people are triggered right now. They think: How can a man be so cold-hearted and not even hold her damn purse for a second?

Ill explain in a second. Back to the story:

She has another admirer; I have competition, so to speak.

Technically speaking, can’t really call me an “admirer” – I like to spend time with her, the sex is great, and so far I was there when she needed me (I doubt that she really needed me to hold her purse), but I’m not head over heels in love with that girl.

I don’t know whether you can call her other admirer “competition” actually – she is not attracted to him in any way.

Do you know what the interesting thing about all this is?

He does EVERYTHING for her.

He would have held her purse in his hand before she could have even finished her question. He tries very hard to impress her.

Most people would say he would deserve her love, but I have to disagree: He does not deserve her because none of his actions show that he understands the laws of attraction.

If life was a Hollywood movie, he would be rewarded for his efforts, and would end up holding her in his arms.

Of course, I would be portrayed as some kind of villain, wearing a black leather jacket, having too much gel in my hair, and ultimately ending up alone.

But reality is different.

She lies in my arms and is disgusted by his constant attempts to impress her.

Even though she finds him physically attractive.

I know you won’t believe me, but I actually feel the deepest sympathy. I am not as cold as people like to say.

The poor man simply has no idea how to REALLY impress women. If he knew, he’d be with her for sure. I’d love to tell him, but one doesn’t like to take advice from a competitor…

However to you, my dear reader, I will reveal all the impressive secrets to impress women.

Tip #1: Find the right balance

When I was a teenager, I used to be a skater boy. Every day after school I met up with my boys at the local skating park.

Even after one year I was still somewhat wobbly on my board, and could only impress a passing pensioner with my tricks, but what I learned was this:

If you shift your weight too far forward, you’ll slam your face into the ground. If you move it too far back, you bruise your butt so much that you cannot sit upright for a week.

So skateboarding is mainly about finding the right balance.

Only when you have found balance, you can learn more and more tricks to impress other people.

It’s the same with women.

I look around and see men fighting for a woman’s attention as if their lives depend on it.

But I also see men who do NOTHING for a woman, and sit at home eating muffins and playing League of Legends instead…

One is no better than the other.

So you should neither try too hard nor too little to impress a woman.

I believe that the perfect balance comes naturally if you don’t make the woman the #1 priority in your life. Instead, you should be constantly busy leading the most epic life.

So:

  • Take care of your career
  • Get to know new people
  • Pursue your hobbies
  • Meet other women
  • Learn new skills

When you do these things, you’ll find the right balance.

Tip #2: Lines to impress a girl

If you were wondering earlier why the woman from my story was impressed even though I refused her favor, you’ll now find out why.

It was the fact that I have limits to what I can stand, even when an attractive woman looks at me like a hungry baby kitten.

My sub communication was:

“I am not a man carrying your purse. Period. And I’m certainly not a man who follows you around carrying your shopping bags.”

Having boundaries is an important part of masculinity.

Research shows this as well.

Not only are you doing your career a huge favor by saying “STOP!” more often.

You also impress women when you say things like:

“You can talk like that to guys in your Friend Zone, but not to me.”

“You know, I’d really appreciate it if you’d consider my opinion more.”

“Oh, if you keep acting that way, one day Ill be gone, but then you at least know why…”

In the short term, she may give you less affection, but in the long run, her respect will grow because you have something that’s called a SPINE.

Tip #3: How to impress any girl

If there’s one thing that impresses women, it’s bulletproof confidence.

I would even go so far as to say that even if you do everything else wrong, you will still succeed with women here and there if you are confident enough.

Why do women fall for it so much?

Well, it’s surprisingly plausible when you take a woman’s perspective. It becomes even clearer if we look at prehistoric times.

Thought experiment:

Imagine you are a woman in the Stone Age. You are pregnant and dangers lurk everywhere.

Would you rather have a confident warrior at your side…

… or a self-doubting coward?

Women find confidence sexy because evolution programmed it into their brains.

But how do you show a woman that you are convinced of yourself and your abilities? After all, we do not live in dangerous times anymore, right?

Wrong!

Dangers are still there.

Sure, in most cases they are less intense and rather of physiological nature. Most challenges face us on a psychological level.

Performance pressure, a fast-paced world and social conditioning are todays saber teeth.

If you can show her that these things neither influence your behavior nor throw you off course, then you became an unshakable warrior in the eyes of a woman.

If people see me approach women, they are often surprised. Sometimes I ask them if they want to try out a self-invented sex position with me. Or I tell them straight away that I am a huge fuckboy, and they should avoid me at all costs.

Many people have no idea how attraction works, and they think that it has worked because what I say is so amazing…

But let me assure you: These lines are not impressive at all.

What impresses is the confidence BEHIND those lines.

It takes balls to say these things in public. Women know that.

Even if they hate what I said, they often can’t help but respect my “I dont give a fuck” attitude.

Lines that really work you can find here.

Tip #4: How success

“Women don’t care how much money you have”
– Something self-proclaimed dating experts try to tell you.

But anyone who has at least one brain cell knows that this is complete nonsense.

There are two things I want to say about this:

  1. Money is not absolutely necessary. During the time I had huge financial problems, I still went on at least three dates a week.
  2. Most women (let’s not pretend Gold Diggers do not exist) are not attracted to money, but to the success behind it.

The more successful you are, the more women are impressed by you.

Many are intimidated by such statements.

No bro, don’t think too complicated! You don’t have to be the next Steve Jobs to be considered successful.

It takes less than you think.

I always explain it this way: many women think Justin Bieber is muscular.

Well, I’ve never been jury during a bodybuilding competition, but I would say that Arnold Schwarzenegger in his best times probably had more muscle mass on just one leg than the good Justin had on his whole body.

But hey, apparently his level of muscle mass is sufficient to impress some women.

It’s the same when it comes to success.

And that raises another question: What is success?

Money? Status? Popularity? Power?

Success is much simpler than that.

The dictionary describes it as “the fact that an effort leads to a good result”.

A successful man is someone who constantly makes these efforts with the aim of achieving good results.

These can also be “small” things like:

  • Learning a new instrument
  • Helping friends with the move
  • Acquiring new knowledge
  • Creating good habits
  • etc…

Can a homeless person be successful? Yeah. Once he makes an effort on a regular basis and achieves positive results, he is successful. At least in his own way.

So don’t think too complicated.

As long as you are not 44, have lived in your parents’ basement for ten years, and your only friend is the now empty glass of peanut butter, you should have the potential to impress women with your personal success.

Tip #5: Impress the girls by being out of the ordinary

In the seduction scene, there were some who thought that you could impress women with magic. That’s true, but it’s not the magic itself that makes for a “Wow!”

What really impresses women is when a man can do something above average.

It hardly matters what it is.

When I was 16, I taught myself via YouTube how to turn my mouth into an instrument. Every time I’ve beatboxed in front of women, their eyes got bigger.

Unfortunately, I did this very rarely at that time because I used to be a very shy one, but it was amazing to see how the simplest things can catch the attention of the female sex like a net.

A friend of mine can mix cocktails that are too good for his own good. Normally, cocktails would taste better if you left out the alcohol. At least that’s my opinion. But not with his cocktails. When he makes a drink, alcohol is an important ingredient that turns it into a masterpiece.

I’m sure you can well imagine that a lot of women are impressed by that.

Therefore, my tip to you: Be above average in at least one thing, no matter what it is.

You can’t even pet a dead cat? Then teach yourself something! Everyone can learn something. Especially in this day and age. YouTube is full of tutorials.

It is important that you learn it not for women, but because you are by nature a passionate person who loves to acquire new skills.

And that brings us straight to the next point.

Tip #6: Impress women with your own passion

Nobody wants to spend time with a lifeless zombie. We are automatically attracted to people who EMBODY passion.

I have chosen the word “embody” very consciously, because I believe that every human being already carries passion within himself.

The problem is that only a few manage to radiate that passion outwards.

The reason for this is social conditioning. It makes us want to avoid attracting attention and inhibits our expression.

Look.

If you talk about something you actually feel passionate about, but do so very monotonously and expressionlessly, no one will know that you are really burning for it.

Instead, the outside world thinks you are a slug.

You should avoid this.

From today on, EVERYTHING you say is important, so you will underline it with expression.

Your body is the most important tool for this:

Not long ago, I mumbled because I was too lazy to move my lips properly. The result was that I had to repeat my sentences often because I was not understood…

At that time, I planned a week to catch myself every time I mumbled.

I made more use of my facial muscles.

And you know what?

Not only did I stop mumbling, but I also felt more passionate.

On the other hand, just as I am writing these lines, I have an annoying blister on the inside of my lip that burns enormously when I talk or smile. (I know… Mimimi…)

That’s why I’ve been walking around with relaxed facial muscles for four days now, which makes me look rather grumpy.

The interesting thing is that I also feel grumpy, although I’m usually in top mood.

The body always works bidirectionally.

This means that your thoughts influence your body, but it also means that through your body you have direct influence on your thoughts, and therefore on your emotional mood.

Give it a try. Use the full potential of your facial muscles for one week.

As inspiration, I can recommend Jim Carrey, who shows the world how much expression is possible.

Tip #7: Be present

I don’t mean physically, but mentally.

We often have so much on our minds that we are not really there.

In the presence of a woman, we often think about what we are going to say next instead of really listening to her.

Active listening sounds easier than it is. There’s more to it than just keeping your mouth shut and letting the other person talk.

It is a skill that must be acquired and developed.

That includes:

When you do these things, the advantages are as follows:

  1. You actually hear what she is saying. This way you know what is important to her in life, and you may remember it even weeks later.
  2. The woman feels understood by you and can therefore trust you.
  3. You can be more empathetic with her. Someone who does not listen well, does not even notice when a woman is uncomfortable with a certain topic.

If you really want to impress a woman, give her your undivided attention.

How often do I hear women complaining about the fact that men never really listen or check in how they feel.

Be better than the others, and enjoy the benefits you get.

Tip #8: Remember Tucker Max?

Tucker Max is an author. He has sold millions of books. His work has a straightforward premise:

Pick up girls by ridiculing them.

Read this story, for example. He didn’t just ridicule girls he was trying to sleep with. Everyone was his target.

Now, Tucker Max was also a self-proclaimed asshole. The extent to which he ridiculed people bordered on bullying. That’s not something to be proud of or to emulate. I don’t recommend being a d*ck,

But Max’s habit of making fun of the girls he was trying to sleep with was instrumental in his success. Both romantically and financially. He attracted tons of girls with his sarcasm. Then he made millions writing about sleeping with them.

Here’s the kicker:

Half of his readers are females.

The average Simp would expect that no woman would enjoy stories about an angry young men playfully ridiculing women. The opposite is true.

Girls love to be teased. Making fun of them communicates:

Now let me tell you, there is a delicate balance between being a straight out disrespectful asshole (which I don’t recommend)… And teasing in a way that is acceptable.

First let’s consider the last point about social intelligence in more detail, shall we?

Simps don’t ridicule girls

I hate the Simp meme. I hate it.

It’s a gross simplification of a complicated topic.

When to accommodate others, and when to be selfish.

Most guys who struggle with women get this wrong. They either are too nice (e.g., Simps that hold girls handbags) or too selfish.

But this way of looking at things is flawed. Very flawed indeed.

If you’re looking for a hookup with no strings attached, the best strategy is to find girls who want this as well.

If you’re looking for a relationship, you’re looking for a girl you connect with.

Or in short: You are looking for a girl with the same values and priorities as you.

If you have to Simp to get what you want out of a girl…

…you do not have the same priorities.

You are attracted to her, and she is just using you.

The Simp meme makes it seem that every Simp is a spineless coward. A dumbass that doesn’t deserve the respect of women, let alone men.

What is the answer, then? To become an a’hole, like Tucker max?

Wrong.

You do not have to become selfish or mean to get laid.

If you were Simping before, and you decide from now on to be “mean” to girls to be more attractive…

…you are still trying to get something from a woman by acting in a certain way.

You are still trying to get something from her, instead of living out mutual fantasies.

That’s another form of Simping in my book.

So keep in mind:

Ridiculing girls shows you’re not afraid of their opinion.

Don’t do this to please them or to make them like you. Then it loses its effect.

Tip #9: Make her feel small

What do women dream about?

Lying in the arms of the man they desire.

No surprises there.

But let’s look at the first part of this sentence.

Laying in the arms.

Now compare that to what you want to do with a woman you fancy

You want to tear that a** up.

Why does a girl want to “lay in the arms” of a man she likes?

What a great question!

Ask any girl. She will say things like:

Safety, warmth, love, and horniness are deeply intertwined in the female mind.

I know that it works differently for you. That’s because you’re a guy. You can barely scroll through your IG feed without having a warm and sticky sensation erupting from your crotch.

For girls, it’s different. They see a strong-minded guy and imagine what it would be like to be held by him. In his arms. Without any genitals being involved.

Boring, I know!

A strong man holding her is the best feeling in the world to her.

Your job is to qualify yourself as being able to fulfill that role.

That’s why we’re going to communicate that we’re not only bigger and stronger, but also safe.

Make her feel safe by being… you

No, this is not one of those lectures on “how to be yourself.

That sh*t doesn’t work.

But if you’re reading this, I assume you have a penis.

And you’re after a girl. With a girl mind. And girl desires.

As you just learned, girls get turned on by lying in a man’s arms. Because they feel safe. Protected, even.

You can make her feel protected without having her in your arms.

You do this in two ways:

  1. Show her you are bigger than her.
  2. Show her you are attuned to her.

The latter sounds rather… Simpish. But let me explain.

As a man, you’re physically stronger than most women you meet. So half the work has been done for you. As long as you don’t slouch, make any effeminate gestures, and only cross-dress during carnival.

(If you feel like you don’t come off strong enough, I got something for you at tip #10.)

Now imagine that a girl meets this man-monster that is twice as strong as her. She’s naturally going to be afraid. If he’s in a bad mood (or she pisses him off), he might lose his temper.

Losing your temper and hitting a girl was made illegal some 70 years ago. But the human mind hasn’t caught up to this new reality. Some men still behave like brainless cave people. Even if you are a nice guy, just remember that not all men play by the same rules.

Women are keenly aware of this. Because they are physically smaller, it’s a dangerous world out there.

By acknowledging that she feels small, and reassuring her you mean well, you make her feel safe. And protected. And warm. And eventually, horny.

You may think: “Dan! The F you talking about, bro? I don’t have her in my arms yet! I’m mentally preparing myself to send her that first DM!”

Communicating that you are attuned to her vulnerability begins the moment you first communicate with her. Doesn’t matter which channel you use.

Imagine you’re standing in front of a girl. You are taller than her. Look down on her, with a smile on your face.

This in itself will make her feel small. But because you are smiling, and engaging her in a friendly tone of voice, she won’t feel uncomfortable.

Don’t baby-talk her. She is not a dog. Nor is she a baby. We’re not trying to be condescending here.

You’re just showing her that you are aware of her need to feel safe. This will help tremendously, as you are moving towards getting her in bed.

Tip #10: Do this if you’re a midget

Short guys bitch, moan and complain.

“Wehhhh, wehhhh. Girls only like tall men.

Luckily it’s not all short guys who feel this way. Many realized that it’s not about being tall. It’s about how you express your manliness.

But some nice, short men haven’t caught up. They have experienced brutal rejection at the hands of women who were taller and meaner than them.

I hear it all the time from my clients. Not to speak of whole internet forums (and Subreddits) dedicated to this idea.

Boy, do I have good news for them oompa-loompas:

You save time by being short

I’m tall. Six foot three, to be exact.

On the one hand, this is an advantage. Most girls are shorter. They automatically assume that I’m stronger than them.

My genetics took care of one-half of the “feeling safe-“equation.

The other half (building trust) takes some effort.

Because I am tall, women are instinctively more concerned. I have to demonstrate more often that I’m to be trusted.

Short guys are less intimidating to women. Which means you save time building trust.

One of my friends and fellow coaches drove this point home for me.

He is five foot something. Not tall enough to go on most rollercoasters. Not short enough to shop at Baby Gap.

He gets girls, bro. Like crazy. He is living proof that short guys can do exceptionally well with women.

How does he do it?

He demonstrates he’s the bigger person in his choice of clothes and in his behavior.

Let’s start with the former.

He wears a leather jacket.

That’s it. That’s his secret.

The leather jacket emphasizes he has a rugged side.

He used to work in banking. In those days, he wore a “cold, intimidating” suit, to emphasize his bold nature.

Is it that simple?

Yes, it is!

It makes you stand out from short guys who dress like they are still in 5th grade.

The problem is not being short. It’s coming across as young or weak.

If you look like Michael Cera in Superbad, it’s time to buy some better-looking clothes and get a gym membership.

After you’ve done that, it’s time to change you your behavior.

My friend has no problem being assertive. Despite his five-foot-something frame, he is cold like an iceberg.

If a girl is mean to him, he simply lifts his eyebrows.

If she does it again, he is goners. He doesn’t care. He just approaches to the next chick.

Now. If you’re in love with a special someone. And you are short. Should you still walk away if she acts mean to you?

Yes! Of course!

There’s no point in playing the long game if the girl you are trying to impress treats you bad.

In the words of my short colleague:

Don’t spend time with people who do not treat you well.

The best-case scenario: the girl you fancy will change her attitude once she sees you don’t take any sh*t.

The even better scenario is that you’ll find a girl you like even more.

You cannot lose, as long as you keep trying.

Tip #11: How to deal with girls testing you

You’re talking to a girl. And she decides to challenge you. By making a joke at your expense. Or outright disrespecting you.

What do you do? Make fun of her? Chew her out? Walk away angry?

None of the above.

There are many reasons why a girl might say something unpleasant to you. None of them should be viewed as a test or a challenge.

Just take it for what it is. A bad joke or a nasty remark. There is no “right” response that leads to impressing her.

I know that many supposed pick-up gurus pretend that arguing with a girl is the best aphrodisiac.

Guess what? They’re full of sh*t.

Here’s my golden rule to impress a girl who’s being catty to you:

Don’t be impressed by her shenanigans.

She’s still a girl. She is either trying to get your approval or trying to scare you away.

Engaging her in some type of roast battle, subtly disrespecting her, or letting her jokes get to you…. It’s not going to help you.

Now there is one thing you should be aware of.

Especially you serious and needy guys out there.

In 80% of the cases, what you might interpret as something harsh she says, is actually her flirting with you.

Often times when she says something to throw you off, she’s basically just teasing you.

The right response? Tease her back! It’s a great sign she’s at least somewhat into you.

When she really says something harmful (which the classic pick-up dudes would call a test) you will notice there is no room for negotiation. She threw it out there with full intent and is not awaiting your smart response.

What will help you then is finding out if she wants you to stay or go.

As mentioned before, calling her out if she acts nasty to you, works wonders.

The same goes for ridiculing her, especially if she does the same to you. You may end up in flirty banter, where you test each others limits.

Just be observant of whether you are moving closer to her bedroom or the club bathroom, or further away.

Tip #12: Connect with her

In tip #7, you learned that being present drastically increases your chances with the ladies. But I didn’t elaborate on why listening works so well.

Making a connection is more important than impressing her.

Have you ever heard a girl say that she knows within 30 seconds if she is going to sleep with a man, yes or no?

It’s an instinctual response beyond her conscious control.

Of course, this is not really true. It’s something that women believe. But here at AttractionGym, we teach guys how to to make a comeback, even after a lady deemed them outright unf*ckable within that first 30-second assessment.

What this female belief does show, is that impressing a girl is a dichotomy. Either you are attractive to her, or you are not.

Once she considers you attractive, there’s little benefit to showing off.

You already got her. She thinks you are remotely f*ckable.

That doesn’t mean she will, though. It all depends on your ability to make a connection.

What impresses the ladies most: an attractive man that understands her.

(Hey, that’s why I explained how to make her feel safe. Get it?)

Have you ever been to a wedding?

Did you ever hear the bride say: “Oh, I was so impressed by <the name of the groom>. He just kept flexing on me. He even pulled out his SAT scores and a college degree in the middle of the bar!”

No. She will talk about how connected she felt. How safe. How understood.

Being attractive is a perquisite to getting a girl into bed, and getting in a relationship with her. Connecting with her seals the deal.

I recommend to make sure she is attracted to you, before you start building trust. Otherwise, you might up in the dreaded friendzone.

If you want more tips on how to create a connection with a girl, read the following articles:

How to passively attract women

So that’s it. Now you know twelve ways to really impress women.

If there’s one thing I want you to take away from this article, it’s this:

Trying to actively impress women is for losers.

Passively impressing women through the way you live your life is for bosses.

And to help you with becoming the man that radiates attraction, I have something for you.

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Filled with my best advice to become the man women are longing for.

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Your bro,
Dan de Ram

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