14 Tips To Turn The Tables – How to Make Her Chase You

Dan de Ram

12 May 2020 by Dan de Ram

Maybe you know it… There are these women who have you under their spell.

Suddenly, a meaningless one-night-stand is not enough for you…

No, you want more from her.

You want her to be head over heels in love with you, and that the very thought of you sends a pleasant shiver down her spine.

I can understand you. Oh, there’s nothing like having a woman all crazy about you…

Yesterday I received an extensive e-mail. After the sender revealed his whole life story to me (at least it felt that way), he asked me a question at the end:

“How do I make her crazy about me?”

Well, that’s a huge question I could write whole books about, but for the sake of expediency, I limit myself and present to you 7 tips to make her go gaga over you.

You will learn:

By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?

You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.

There are three types of men…

Every (heterosexual) man loves it when a woman only wants you.

If you restrict yourself to the most common cases, you can say that there are 3 different types of men who seek advice from me in this regard.

The Friendzone Junkie

This guy does everything for everybody… except for himself. Actually, he just wants a girlfriend, but most women exploit his kindness with terrifying brutality.

He wants to…

In most cases he ends up in the Friendzone and only gets to see her pussy in his dreams or when she initially wanted to send me a nude picture, but accidentally selected his contact…

The way I write about this type of man right now, makes it seem like I hate him.

I don’t. I even have great empathy for these guys, since I used to fall into that category myself.

I can understand when you are tired of being the Friendzone Junkie, and think to yourself:

“Enough of this, I want to sleep with so many women that I lose the count.”

That’s perfectly okay. As a man, I think it is very helpful to go through that phase.

The Cold-Hearted Player

This is often the result of being a Friendzone Junkie, but some are born that way.

The player wants to nail as many women as possible. Nevertheless, he is a human being, and humans yearn for affection and tenderness (yes, you can admit it).

So even if he appears cold at first, he actually enjoys cuddling up with women on a rainy Sunday with songs from Coldplay in the background. The only question is: Will he realize that before he drowns in pussy juice?

The Rigid Relationship Rider

If you’re thinking now, “Why would you need dating tips when you already have a girlfriend?”, then you’ve obviously never been in a relationship (but more on that later).

The Rigid Relationship Rider is the guy who desperately tries to save a relationship that is slowly but surely falling apart.

He invests more in the relationship than the woman.

You belong to this group?

Then it’s understandable that you want to make her crazy about you again, bro. Holding the passion high for a long time is probably the biggest challenge in a relationship.

I’m glad you’re here.

How to make her chase you

There are reasons why women do not fall in love with you, my friend. If you had done everything right, you wouldn’t be here.

The mistakes vary from man to man. The Friendzone Junkie makes different mistakes than the Cold-Hearted Player, who in turn makes different mistakes than the Rigid Relationship Rider.

I’ll write the article from all angles so you get a universal guide that smashes you out of your pit like Tiger Woods does with his golf balls.

Tip #1: Be a rare bird

Let’s start simple and straightforward. Take a minute to think about this:

Which women have fascinated you so much that you had to think about them constantly?

I find it hard to believe that these were ordinary women. And I bet they were desired by other men as well.

I can go even further: I bet it didn’t happen too often that a woman fucked your brain so hard that you couldn’t forget her?

You can usually count the number of women who have done that on one hand.

Well, how do you attract a desirable, extraordinary woman?

Right. By being desirable and extraordinary yourself.

But how do you do that? How does one become a rare bird in a world of competition?

Can you do it overnight? No.

Is it possible for everyone? Yeah.

A rare bird is a man who is in control of his life. Whether in his career, among friends or in his love life (I’ll help you with that), even if it isn’t going uphill at the moment, in the long run he seems to be growing constantly in all areas.

You don’t have to look like James Franco, but if you want to become a rare bird, you can’t do it without these 2 things:

Once you have these two qualities, you are already different from 95% of other men.

They will also help you to build an intact social circle and a remarkable career. These are important indicators that you are a rare bird.

Maybe you think now:

“That all sounds cool, Dan, but can’t I just stay the way I am and still seduce women?”

Yes, you can. I see it again and again that men are successful with women after one of our coaching sessions, even though they are not in control of their lives.

But(!) you make it unnecessarily difficult for yourself. And why would you not want to grow in all areas of life?

Look at it from this side:

It’s easier to sell a box of diamonds than a box of trash.

If you want to sell trash successfully, you only have two options:

Ideally, you’re a damn good salesman, selling diamonds instead of trash.

So if you want women to go crazy for you, then it is important to put your ego aside and ask yourself:

“Would I be dating myself if I was a hot woman?”

If the answer is “no,” then consider

“How can I change my life to be a happier and more successful person?”

Think about your career, your looks (fashion and fitness) and your social circle.

Of course, you will find lots of tips in other articles on our site.

But well, now that we have the personal development session behind us, we come to the methodical HOW-TO, which is why you are here.

Tip #2: Hot & Cold

How you can make a woman like Katy Perry crazy about you? Well, she tells us in her song: “You are hot, then you’re cold, youre yes then youre no…”

And now think again about your own experience:

Which women are the ones we men want most? Which women make us obsessed?

Not quite. I mean, you worship them and you’re interested… but the women who drive us CRAZY are the ones we can ALMOST have.

It’s the women who give us mixed signals. In one moment she gives us affection, only to take it away in the other.

These are the women who have a higher addiction potential than crystal meth, and are therefore more dangerous than a loaded gun.

Do you know why Game of Thrones is so fu*king exciting? There’s no telling what will happen. Your favorite character can die any second. If you knew how the whole thing turned out, the show would be half as interesting.

But instead of asking, “Does Tyrion Lannester die in this scene?”, you think, “Does she fucking like me or not?”

The Hot & Cold Principle also works for women. If you keep her in the dark about whether or not you think she’s super great by sending mixed signals, you’re taking over her thoughts so much that she can’t fall asleep at night.

The most effective method of sending mixed signals is “Push & Pull”.

Push means to metaphorically (!) push a woman away from you. Pull, on the other hand, stands for affection. Combine both, and they become a powerful Yin and Yang of attraction.

Sample sentences:

Push & Pull is most effective when you use your body language. You can do this by applying a pull technique and directly afterwards a push technique.

Pull:

  • Pull her close to you
  • Look deep into her eyes
  • Smile at her
  • Kiss her

Push:

  • Increase the distance
  • Turn away
  • Look away

Combine your body language with words, and your attraction becomes so powerful that all I can say is “holy mother of Jesus”.

Tip #3: Assume she’s into you

Remember it and never forget it again:

You’re the best man for her.

It is (hopefully) known that confidence is important for women.

A confident man is as attractive to women as a woman who looks like Jessica Alba is to us, only with larger breasts and a rounder ass.

Never make the mistake of thinking that you can stop working on your confidence daily once you have a girlfriend.

In fact, it’s even more important once you’re in a relationship. You must demonstrate your confidence every day.

Many can fake it at first, but eventually, the woman finds out that you were merely wearing a mask, and then the relationship starts to crumble.

Therefore, avoid this mistake by building up real confidence from the getgo.

To prevent a woman from forgetting how awesome you are, it helps to remind her regularly.

Sample sentences:

By suggesting through sentences like this that you are the “price”, you create a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I’ll spare myself a long explanation. It’s simply about playing the role of “the best man in the world”.

Ultimately, she’ll end up acting like she’s dating the best man in the world.

Every single experience that confirms this will make her more consciously aware of it, and any that disproves it will be ignored.

And if you want to drive her completely crazy, just play the role of the “man who stays cool, no matter how much a woman desires him”.

That’s gonna throw her off balance.

Tip #4: Brainwash yourself

It’s not enough for me if a woman is just hot. She has to show a number of interesting and important character traits, so that I find her great. I’m not shallow.

Is that the truth? Yeah.

Was I always like this? No.

Because let’s be honest: We men would even sleep with a hot woman if she had the worst personality ever, and is secretly a serial killer. Shit, some would even fuck a tree if it had a pussy…

However, flirting works much better if you have high standards. That’s why I brainwashed myself to think that a woman must have more qualities than just looking good.

Well, if it’s a serious relationship I’m looking for, I have these high standards for real and without any brainwashing! But even with one-night-stands it is effective to have high standards.

Why? Two reasons:

This is where preparation comes in. Step one:

Sit on your butt cheeks, and write down five characteristics that you find attractive in women.

Done?

Okay, let’s move on to step two:

In a conversation with a woman, casually mention that these things are important to you.

And now we come to the most important part. Step three:

For example, if she says

“Oh gee, I’m not really reliable…”

Do NOT answer

“It’s okay”.

No. Very wrong!

You’re a man of standards you’re proud of.

Say something like,

“I guess this isn’t going to work out between you and me…”

Smile! If you say it too seriously, she’ll think, “Fine, then don’t flirt with me.”

But if you say this with a smile, she will think “I’ll show him that he still wants me” and fight for you.

And that’s exactly what you want to achieve. Besides, it’s kind of cool to make a hot woman feel like her looks leave you cold.

That’s how you differentiate yourself from 99% of other men.

Tip #5: Show her the flipside

Another way to distinguish yourself from other men is to show her the flipside.

What do I mean by that? Most men want it to be perfect. They tell a woman only occasionally and with the utmost caution if they do not like something.

I understand that too, but in a way it is dishonest to leave something you don’t like unsaid. Women do not really know where they stand with you and whether they are behaving properly.

I recommend the following:

  • Reward her for doing something you like.
  • Punish her if she does something you don’t like.

I can already hear the feminists and noble white knights roaring behind their screens: “That’s outrageous! How sexist!!!” Is he allowed to write that?

Take it easy…

This happens every day in just about every social setting. If someone does something you don’t like, you either say something about it or pay less attention to the person.

When someone does something you like, you are happy and more willing to do them a favor, aren’t you?

So this is all quite normal and natural. But why do I go into this so explicitly?

For one simple reason: many men do not do it in a balanced way.

The Cold-Hearted Player punishes a woman too much and rewards her too little. With the Friendzone Junkie and the Rigid Relationship Rider it’s the other way around.

A woman wants a man with both sides, so she knows where she stands.

If you don’t show the other side of the coin openly, she will ultimately lose respect for you. As a result, she will either break up or (and I think this is much worse) take control over the relationship.

I don’t know if you’ve ever looked at other relationships, but when I see how some women treat their boyfriend…

… I would rather be single with conviction.

But how do you prevent being used as an emotional tampon?

No one likes to be abused, exploited or taken for granted.

So if a woman is not paying enough attention to you, then it is time for you to make clear what you expect from her.

  • Tell her what you like
  • Reward her if she does so
  • Tell her when you don’t find her behavior attractive
  • Don’t text her for 2-3 days to make her aware that your attention is not self-evident

Tip #6: Don’t be an asshole

I’ll keep this tip short because I know you’re not an idiot. But after all these points, it must be mentioned briefly…

Many men think that women like assholes and therefore treat them intentionally like a piece of shit.

Just because they have a weakness for certain qualities that assholes often possess, doesn’t mean you should trample on their feelings.

My point is, don’t be an asshole.

Use that little bit of empathy you have to think about how something might appeal to a woman.

These are things you should NOT do:

  • Don’t brag about how many women you’ve had
  • Don’t sleep with her best friend
  • Don’t lie to her
  • Don’t sell her to a Romanian brothel…

I cannot recommend these things.

So now that this is out of the way, we can proceed with the most important tip…

Tip #7: Become a sex god

If you already applied all the above tips, and she’s still not crazy about you…

… well, then you may have to admit that you’re not exactly a stud in bed.

But don’t worry, my friend. You are not the only one.

There are very few men who are exceptionally good in bed. How do I know that? The sweaty and exhausted women in my arms tell me.

When I first started to work on my skills in bed, I realized what a loser I used to be. As soon as I improved considerably in bed, women suddenly became pathologically needy for me, although everything else was the same.

It is no secret that good sex is important to win a woman over, but it is still underestimated.

My opinion is: It is not only important, but an absolute GAME CHANGER.

But what kind of dating coach would I be if I had not written down the best techniques for mind-bending orgasms?

-> What Women Want in Bed: 10 Ways to Be Her Sex God

What is the fastest way to drive a woman crazy about you?

Give her orgasms that make her think that she is the hottest chick and you are the strongest man in the world.

Go for it.

Tip #8: Be like an unexpected TV-hit

Some movies or TV-shows are special.

Before their release, no-one at the studio thinks they will become a success. They were often reluctantly funded by the investors. The marketing department has a hard time deciding how to convince the masses to go see it.

Breaking Bad. The Big Bang Theory. The Office.

All productions that seemed doomed to fail, but became huge successes upon their release.

That is because of two reasons:

  1. These are good shows. Duh.
  2. You can easily explain to a friend what the show is about.

Think about it. Breaking Bad can be described as “a chemistry teacher turns meth cook and drug dealer.” Wow, what a combo!

The Big Bang Theory was a huge success, even among academics and tech workers, because it was “a sitcom with nerds (or, people like us.)

When The Office was released for the first time, no one saw coming that it would be one of the most popular comedy shows ever. Many people rewatch all nine seasons every single year. Turns out that the premise “a jovial but crazy boss torturing his office workers” is a recipe for an unexpected hit.

What’s my point with all this?

Combine two cool aspects of your personality

If you want girls to chase you, you first need to rouse their attention.

Having your life together and feeling good about yourself are important first steps. You’ll be above average, and therefore, be more attractive than most guys for a long-term relationship.

But at that point, you are competing with all other dudes that are washed and employed. And the coolest girls will not fall in your lap, just because you shaved yesterday.

This whole article is about how to become more interesting than the dude standing next to you. But if you dress the same, talk the same, and most importantly, behave the same…

…guess what? She thinks you are Average Andy. And Average Andy doesn’t get a lot of punanis.

At least not at the Justin Bieber-level that we’re going for at AttractionGym.

How do we solve this?

Display two attractive qualities in your introduction.

No, I’m not talking about juggling your Maserati’s keys from one hand to the other, while wearing nothing but swim-shorts so you can show off your sixpack. (Although with a certain type of gold-dig… lady, this will be very effective.)

Take two things that show personality (be it intellectual, sporty, or artistic) and find a way to bring them up.

A golden rule that you can steal from the movies is to show, not to tell.

One look at Lennard from The Big Bang tells us he’s a nerd.

Here. Look at him:

And one look at Walter White makes us remember our own chemistry teachers. And how much we hated their class on Friday afternoon, the last hour we had to sit through before the weekend.

Pick something that the girls you like will find sexy, and emphasize it in your appearance.

If you like to read (and your ideal woman is a sexy bookworm), walk around with the latest Paulo Coelho under your arm.

If your ex got turned on every-time you came back sweaty and muddy from soccer practice, consider wearing casual sporting clothes in your spare time.

Find two of these attributes, and don’t overdo it. Speaking about taking too much action:

Tip #9: Don’t be a hyena. Be a lion

Do you know the main difference between a hyena and a lion, besides their appearance?

A hyena is an eager beaver when it comes to hunting. It will chase his prey. And won’t give up until the prey ran far away or mawed to shreds between its jaws.

Creepy, I know!

But let’s take a look at the lion.

He is so strong and mighty that he can afford to lose a prey. Because he’s such a beast, that it’s a matter of time another victim walks past, and he gets to have brunch.

Or, to put it bluntly: A lion doesn’t give a fxck.

Now you wonder what these two animals have to do with women chasing you.

For that to become clear, I have to introduce another animal into the mix.

This is a panda. Pandas never have sex. That’s because they’re not the hunting type. They instead sit on their ass and eat bamboo all day.

Imagine you behave like a panda. You don’t go outside and spend your days eating Cheetos. Rest assured, you won’t get laid, let alone build a relationship with an amazing woman (unless it’s a virtual relationship, with a female member of your World of Warcraft guild.)

You would have more success as a hyena. Whenever a woman passes by, you jump in front of her, and say something semi-clever like: “HI! I JUST SAW YOU PASSING BY! YOU LOOK CUTE! I WANTED TO SAY HI!”

Do this for two hours at a mall, and a few out of a hundred women will not run away. An ineffective strategy if you ask me, but every now and then, you’ll find a woman who will take one look at you and go: “Dammmmmnnnn, this man fine.

Now, consider the man who is a lion.

Whenever a lion sees an attractive girl, he will convey with his body language and eye contact that he thinks she’s attractive.

He won’t say it outright. But there will be no doubt in the lady’s mind that he thinks she’s hot.

The more time they spend together, the more the lion will move towards devouring the lady. This she knows as well. Because she’s dealing with a lion, not a panda.

But because he’s a lion, she knows a few other things about him too:

By behaving like a lion, you remove any pressure a lady might feel. This conveys to her that you have plenty of girls after you. And to women, this is attractive.

Tip #10: Go Sherlock Holmes on your social media

So you met a girl. She likes you. And now she wants to know more about you.

Back in the day, this meant she had to WAIT to see you again, to ask you questions.

Nowadays, she can just go online and stalk you.

Not every woman does this. But 99.999% of them do.

(That means that if you take a hundred phone numbers or messenger account, 99 of them will be checking out your social media profile. Or a 100.)

What can I say? Women are curious beings! So here’s what you do:

Go through your social media like a detective would

This detective is not looking for someone who committed a crime. He’s just looking for signs that you live in your momma’s basement, where you play airhockey with your imaginary friend.

But seriously. As I mentioned in the very first tip, you can accomplish a lot just by being functional in society, and appearing enthusiastic and sociable.

And you can destroy any progress you made, by having a social media that screams that you are none of these things.

A girl will check out your profile. And if she sees anything that appears unattractive, she will recoil and stop the chase.

So go through all your profiles and delete everything that doesn’t support this narrative.

Note, I’m not saying you should fake an amazing life… In the end, you DO want a girl that likes YOU and not your façade right? It’s hard to keep up appearances.

But just make sure to delete the absolute no-no’s that even you wonder why on earth you ever posted them. And occasionally add something that by ‘coincidence’ shows of your better sides.

Don’t be afraid to start from scratch either.

Tip #11: How to make her chase over text

Let me tell you a little secret.

I think you should rarely text, if ever. It’s better to send voice notes, videos, or other types of media that stimulate more than one sense.

So what I’m going to say now doesn’t just apply to texting, but to all exchanges on cell phones and chat programs.

Look how often she texts. Text slightly less. Also, wait a bit longer before you respond.

I know this is hard. You like this girl. You fantasize about her. You hope she likes you too.

But the goal is to make her chase, remember?

If she doesn’t chase you, you are chasing her. When that happens, the odds of losing her attention forever increase drastically.

So play the long game. Aim to have her in your arms for a long time in the future, rather than to a fast-paced but short-lived text exchange that ends with her blocking you.

Why texting less works

If a girl notices that you respond fast and often, she might think you are chasing her.

This is not true for every girl, but it is true for many.

And when she imagines you are chasing her, she might misread your intentions.

While you just want to go for a drink to see if she lives up to your ridiculous high standards, she imagines that you have already determined that she is, and that you will be carrying a ring in your pocket to the first date.

Again, not all girls think like that. But many do. Especially those with an inflated ego from being constantly chased by hyena-type guys. And although we behave like total gentlemen, can we truly blame women for being cautious with so many creeps out there?

So texting too often will leave her with the impression you are chasing her. Which isn’t good.

And if you keep pushing it, guess what?

You’ll be banned to the “blocked” section of her phone.

To prevent all this:

Text less than her.

If she sends any signal that screams: “You’re too into me!” Text even less.

But what if the conversation didn’t lead anywhere?

Tip#12: Use my panty-dropping emergency texts

In “The 10 Texts That Always Work”, I included some lines to get the conversation going.

This is important. Some girls are just not that creative, even when they’re interested. So if she seems like the quiet type, it’s best to have some great lines on hand.

But I’ll teach you another magic trick right now.

Similar to the Avakadavra-spell in Harry Potter, this spell ought to be only used once.

If you use it twice, I will personally haul your ass to wizard-jail, and throw away the key. Deal?

Send a message that is highly stimulating

Think about what this girl likes. Books. Travel. Music. Outdoor activities. Hanging out with friends.

Send a picture of you doing one of these things, having a great time.

Add a line underneath. Something like: “WENT SNOWBOARDING TODAY!” It can be basic like that. Throw in a joke if you feel in a jolly mood.

The goal is to restart the conversation by prickling her interest.

People bond over things they have in common. If she loves snowboarding, and you send a picture of you in the snow, guess what?

She’ll think you’re snowboarding soulmates.

From there on, you have an opening to use some of my 10 Texts That Always Work to get her out on a date. Want to find out what those are? Read more about them in my free report down below, under this article.

Tip #13: Don’t wait for her

There’s this thing that people say when they’re in love, but can’t be together for reasons beyond their control.

I’ll wait for you!”

This concept is ubiquitous in movies and music. Songs about this idea have been viewed billions of times.

There’s only one problem. I regularly catch my clients saying lines they heard in these songs at the worst possible times. In a text message, when they just met a girl, or after a few dates.

Many men now think that being overly romantic is a sure way to have success with the ladies. They want to express their fondness for a girl in the romantic terms they have learned from pop culture.

And to be frank: I applaud how much these guys appreciate women, and how brave they are for being honest with someone they don’t know that well.

But after the applause right down, I tell them to never do it again. Because while romantic lines always work in the movies, it rarely works face-to-face with a girl. Especially if you know her for less than a year.

Why?” You may wonder desperately. “Why don’t women appreciate it when I tell them romantic things? Is that not what they want to hear?

I could go into a long rant over how popular culture has changed the perception of love, romance, and sex of the younger generation. But I’m a dating coach, not an Orthodox christian preacher. So I’ll spare you the sermon and go straight to how to respond:

Don’t get romantic with her, unless she starts it

You can do everything else that you both desire. But don’t throw in romantic lines until she starts to talk about having the feelies for you.

And even then, it’s best to let her marinate in those feelings for a while, so they can seep deeply into her heart and bones. Until it’s nice and juicy, and a few words of love will be really, really appreciated.

Until she gets romantic with you, you are free to do what you please with other ladies.

Don’t throw this in your favorite girls face. We’re not teaching you to become an asshole, remember? (Tip #6)

But when you’re getting entangled with several ladies at the same time, this will make it easier to not go Justin Bieber on your favorite girl:

TIP #14: Instruct her to say “No”

This is counter-intuitive. But hear me out.

If you are dating a girl and you can tell that she feels awkward for any type of reason. Because she’s not sure if she really likes you, or how much you like her, or if her mom would like the curtains you have in your apartment, or if your dog has all the right shots and she likes cats more than dogs anyway….

Where was I? Oh yeah, she feels awkward about something.

This is the moment when a man shows his true colors. Is he a hyena or a lion?

Does he jump on the opportunity to re-assure her, so she will continue to hang out with him?

Or does he tell her kind but decisive: “I enjoy your company, but if this does not make you comfortable, it’s OK if you want to stop.

This puts her in the position of the decision-maker. She has to decide if she wants to continue, instead of making her emotional turmoil your problem.

Now, I don’t mean this in a derogatory way at all. Women tend to doubt what they are doing dating-wise more than man. This will inevitably cause self-consciousness and moment where she looks up to you with Bambi-eyes, hoping one word out of your mouth will change everything.

But the moment you start convincing her that you want her to stay, you are chasing her.  And as lions, this is not what we’re aiming for.

So tell her you like her, but that she’s free to go. This will make her conscious of her decision power. And if she likes you too, she will continue to chase you, right up into your bedroom.

Your bro,
Dan de Ram

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and painful rejections

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