Perhaps your job or your relationship has been taking up all your time and energy, or you just moved to a new city where you don’t know a soul.
You might not be the social type either, and since school, you’ve found it difficult to forge new friendships.
Regardless of the reason, making friends isn’t always easy, especially as an adult.
No worries, after reading this article you’ll know exactly how to make new friends.
Let’s give your social life a huge boost!
- How to make new friends easily in no time
- Why making new friends is good for your health
- Concrete examples of places where you can meet new people easily
- How to be a person that everyone wants to be with
- Why learning to make new friends makes you more successful with girls (and vice versa!)
- And much more insight how to make making new friends easy…
By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
How to build a new friendship
Here’s an email I received this morning:
I participated in your AttractionGym Bootcamp in Barcelona last year.
There’s been a huge improvement in my dating life (I’ve been meeting a lot of girls since then), so that’s great.
But I realized recently that I wasn’t making the most of my friendships. I moved to a new city a few months ago, so all my friends are now far away and I haven’t really met people I connected with since I moved here. I hang out with my colleagues from time to time, but I wouldn’t call them my friends.
I’d like to meet new people and start a real friendship with them but everyone seems to be too busy… How to make friends in a new city?
I’ve noticed AttractionGym also gives individual coaching sessions.
Do you also coach people to improve their social life?
I’ve been getting this kind of email a lot lately.
It’s easy to lose yourself in your life – meeting girls, working a lot, spending too much time at home…
These things can take up all your time and energy, and without you even noticing, you’re not making any new friends.
The thing is, improving your dating life is great, but making friends is equally as important.
Why? We’ll go through the reasons in tip#1, but basically:
Friends make up a huge part of your life.
But making new friends can be tricky. Intimidating even.
No worries, making new friends is possible. Even as an adult, an introvert, or both!
Alright, let’s start with the first tip.
Tip #1: Why making friends is good for you
Here’s a fact: Friendships make you a happier person.
And I’m not talking about Facebook or Instagram friends.
I’m talking about authentic friendships. Friends you can count on. Friends you can share your deepest feelings with and laugh stupidly about anything.
Research has shown that finding, building and maintaining real friendships is one of the most important things in a person’s life.
There’s more: Having friends increases your willpower. I’m sure people who are members of Anonymous Alcoholics or Weight Watchers will agree. It’s easier to take up a challenge if you do it with someone.
In fact, so many things in life are easier if you go through them with a friend by your side: Finding a job, getting a divorce, moving…
So how do you go about meeting new friends?
Let’s get into it.
Tip #2: Go one step at a time
As discussed earlier, making new friends can be intimidating. Especially if you haven’t been socializing much lately.
That’s why you should start small first.
Start off with people you already know, even if they’re not your friends (yet.)
Reach out to acquaintances you haven’t seen in a while.
Guess what? Those people have friends.
Get to know them.
Because you’ll be using your existing network of people, you’ll feel more comfortable socializing.
Accept all invitations and take any opportunity to socialize, even if it doesn’t seem exciting.
You never know who you’ll meet.
I met one of my best friends at the most boring birthday party ever (the kind of party you go to only because it would be rude not to.)
So when you have the choice between ‘Staying at home’ and ‘Going out’, always choose the latter.
Which brings us to the next tip.
Tip #3: How to make new friends in your 20’s/30’s/40’s
If you want to make new friends, follow one of my mantras:
What do I mean by that?
Well, back in the day, I used to spend way too much time in my comfort zone:
- I was spending way too much time in front of my computer and TV
- I was hardly ever going out
- I didn’t do any sports
- I didn’t have any hobbies
Are you the same?
In that case, let me tell you one thing:
If you keep up this lifestyle, you’re not going to make any new friends.
As hard as it may be, step out of your comfort zone as soon as possible.
Here’s how you do that:
- Stop spending your weekends at home by yourself
- Develop and pursue your hobbies (see tip #3)
- Go to the gym
- Learn to become social
A small side note about the last point:
If you’re an introvert, no worries:
Being social is a skill you can learn.
Of course, you’ll need to work for it. But once you acquire this skill, it’ll stay with you forever.
Here’s the first step you can take:
Tip #4: How to find friends near me (+ Examples!)
If you want to meet new friends in your area, here’s an important question for you:
What kind of person are you and what kind of people do you want to meet?
This question of where and in what context you meet people is crucial.
If you’re a 45 years old accountant, you’re not going to make any friends going to a bachelor party.
Depending on your personality, your interests and your experiences, you’ll be able to connect with a certain type of person.
So before going through some examples of places where you can make new friends, ask yourself:
What do you enjoy doing?
Are you into sport? Art? IT? Do you like traveling? Hiking?
Where are you most likely to meet people who enjoy the same things?
For example, if you like sport, you might want to join a local team.
If you’re into spirituality or well-being, you might want to take up yoga classes.
If you don’t have any hobbies and you don’t know what your interests are, this article will be very useful:
The good thing about making friends through a group is that you’ll already have something in common, and you can forge your friendships with several people at once.
Here are examples of some great places to make new friends:
- Classes (cooking, dance, yoga, chess, foreign language… whatever you’re into!)
- Bootcamps (I’ve seen a lot of guys become good friends during our AttractionGym Bootcamps)
- Art galleries
- Local sport leagues
- Political events
- Business networking events
- com (a great resource for finding events in your city)
In short: Develop your interests and pursue them!
Speaking of which…
Tip #5: Don’t just participate, initiate!
When I got better at seducing women a few years ago, I started to make the most of Amsterdam nightlife – basically going out almost every single night.
I had a lot of fun doing that, but something was missing. And I couldn’t figure out exactly what.
Then one night out at an expat party, I met this guy who was organizing the event.
We clicked and exchanged numbers, and eventually, I became involved with the organization of these parties.
What happened as a result?
The biggest boost of my social life.
Now, organizing events is a lot of work. But most of this work involves meeting people.
And when I say ‘people’, I mean A LOT of people.
In fact, many of my friends are people I met during that time.
So, how to make new friends, you ask?
Don’t just participate, initiate!
Tip #6: How to become a magnet for friends
Now let’s dive into some practical tips on what kinds of behavior makes you a person that everyone wants to be with.
The good news is that you’ve already got everything you need to become that guy.
Don’t believe me? See for yourself:
First things first…
You do have a smile, don’t you?
Great. Because smiling is a golden rule when meeting people.
Science even says that smiling makes people happier.
Smile and you’ll instantly be seen as a friendly guy.
Be a good listener
Fact: People love talking about themselves.
But do you know what they love even more than talking about themselves? Being listened to.
The thing is, because everybody loves talking so much, very few people actually listen.
So when meeting people, pay attention to what they say, ask questions, be curious, have a genuine interest in their stories.
Share about yourself
Of course, do not just listen. Talk. Participate in the conversation. If you don’t share anything about yourself, nobody will be able to connect with you.
Not your thing? That’s alright.
If you want to master the art of conversation, you should read this article:
The power of humor
Humor is a major asset if you want to make friends easily. You don’t have to be a professional stand-up comedian either, but check out this article, it gives you all the tools you need to be funnier in social situations:
>> How To Make Her Laugh – 10 Tips Girls Do ‘Not’ Want You To Know < online soon
FLASH NEWS ALERT:
You can use these tips when hitting on girls too!
Tip #7: Taking things to the next level
You probably got it by now:
Learning how to make new friends and learning how to get better with girls are almost the same thing.
Why? Well, if you become an attractive guy, not only will you attract girls, but people in general too.
Which is why you should take things to the next level and learn, step-by-step, how to attract people.
For this, I’ve got the perfect thing: The Transformation Kit.
It’s a toolkit to start making yourself an attractive man right away.
- What you should say and how to get any girl hooked
- 20+ Examples of witty lines for Tinder and WhatsApp
- Step-by-step instructions for attracting women
- How to get out of the friendzone and be her lover
- And much more…
Dan de Ram