How to Please a Woman in Bed (Step-by-Step Guide)

Well done.

You’ve successfully applied our tips and advice on picking up women.

That beautiful, fiercely attractive woman you’ve been fantasizing about for some time is now with you in your bed. Her bright eyes are looking at you full of anticipation

She’s also been waiting for this moment.

Five minutes later, it’s done. Exhausted, you return to your place in the bed. She gives you a subtle smile, puts on her clothes and leaves as if nothing has ever happened. The next day she doesn’t reply to your messages telling her you had a great time.

Her experience with you was everything but pleasing.


That’s why in this article you’ll find:

  • 9 Insightful tips how to please a woman in bed, so to make her want to come back over and over.
  • The #1 mistake men make when they try to satisfy a woman in bed.
  • An upgrade to common sex positions.
  • How to give her the best foreplay of her life, that’ll make her beg you to have sex with her.
  • The best way to pleasure a woman. This can save your relationship!
  • Many more pleasing tips…

Because a bombshell like her doesn’t deserve such a weak treatment. Besides, it’s not really a boost to your masculinity if you don’t know how to please a woman.

Great! You’ve picked-up a woman, seduced her and won over her heart.

There she is, stripped of her clothes, on your bed.

Being the dating coach that I am, those are the results that make my day.

But if you don’t know how to pleasure her…

You’ll lose her right away.


Then sex might just be the end of the line But if you really want a woman to fall for you (and her bragging about you to her friends) you’ll want to know how to please a woman IN and OUT of bed.

After hundreds of conversations with women about sex, years of (practical) research on pleasing a woman, and after helping dozens of men improve their relationships with advice for in the bedroom, I will reveal one thing to you…

…most men don’t perform in the bedroom.

It’s a damn shame if you’ve successfully exchanged phone numbers with a girl, have had a great date, and then completely mess it up in the bedroom after.

It’s like a faceplant, right in front of the finish.

No more, bro.

I’ll make you a sex machine with these 9 tips. Your name will reappear in the Hall of Fame of Sex Gods after reading this article.

You’ll be the foreplay-master and you’ll know exactly which position will drive her crazy.

Alright, we’ve fvcked around enough (pun intended).

Let’s go.

By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?

You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.

Tip #1: The thing you MUST know about pleasing women

Does female sexuality appear like an unsolvable puzzle to you? Can’t you figure out why one time she’s completely wet, while the other time she’s drier than a desert?

No worries. I’ll solve that puzzle for you now. That way you’ll know exactly how to satisfy a woman.

I’m at home with a girlfriend. We’re scrolling through some of her Tinder conversations for fun.

I deliberately say ‘for fun’, because some people’s Tinder skills are funnier to watch than a night of stand-up comedy.

Straight up ridiculous.

Most men have no clue how to please a woman over the phone.

The most extreme (and blatant) examples of this are dick pics. Many men often send these photos way too early in the conversation without proper context, like the hormone monster in Big Mouth (recommended) says:

The fact that some men harass (unknown) women with dick pics, indicates they clearly don’t know anything about female sexuality.

“Men are aroused in a completely different way than women.”

You want to know how to please a woman, right? Then keep in mind the above.


It’s complete BS that women don’t enjoy sex (hell, you could even say they enjoy it more). They even have a dedicated organ for it, called the clitoris. I’ll get back to this little body part later in the article, and how to use it to your advantage.

Even though women do enjoy sex, it doesn’t mean they’re aroused in the same way as we men are.

We men can already get a boner upon seeing a picture of a very attractive (sparsely dressed) woman.

This works completely differently for women.

Getting a woman completely satisfied requires a build-up. While men can be ready for sex in an instant, women require time.

But time in itself is not the only important thing. Think of:

  • Long and comprehensive foreplay (check tip #3!)
  • She must trust the man
  • She requires a safe and clean environment (so take Jordan Peterson’s advice and clean your room!)

So, arousing a woman is reliant on multiple factors.

When you as a man send a dick pic too early, you’re basically communicating the following:

“As a man, pictures make me horny. So, the same goes for you. I don’t understand jack shit about female sexuality and yet I’m thinking I’m doing the right thing.”
– the Ignorant Man

Being aware of this difference in arousal is crucial for pleasing a woman in bed.

So, make sure a woman trusts you, be in a quiet environment where you cannot be disturbed and above all…

Take your time.

Most men think they should be focusing on her vagina right away; trying to stimulate her there as much as possible so to make her come in no-time.

Hell no! This isn’t what women want in bed.

Well, then what do they want exactly?

Glad you asked. Here’s an entire article about it:

>> What Women Want in Bed: 10 Ways to Be Her Sex God

You definitely need the other tips as well to fully understand it, so let’s keep going with the next tip.

Tip #2: Men’s #1 mistake pleasing a woman

You don’t have to be a dating coach to understand that having an orgasm is amazing for both men and women.

Neither do you have to be a dating coach to understand that you’re doing the right thing when you’re making a woman enjoy an intense orgasm.

But, as you know, men and women don’t function in the same way on a sexual level.

Many men think they’re a sex god when they make women come quickly and many times.

And even though I won’t deny that women like to come, there’s a big mistake many men make here.

Many men forget one important thing:

Women enjoy the process of sex, not just the result.

Being a man, you’re focused on the result. It’s a typical masculine trait to work toward a certain goal, which is also the thing that makes men attractive.

For many men, the goal during sex is to come themselves, and to make her come quickly and multiple times.

Some men even get impatient during sex as a result of this. (for example, NEVER ask a woman if she came already. It puts pressure on her, and when you’re really good in the bedroom, you’ll know the exact moment she comes. In one of the following tips I’ll explain how to notice when she comes.)

Understand that women want to enjoy the process called sex. The orgasm itself is not the most important thing, it’s the build-up and the process toward the climax that determines whether she had an amazing bedroom-experience or not.

So, don’t focus on making her come quickly and often. Make her enjoy the moment that you’re sharing together. Take your time, and above all, don’t forget to enjoy the women lying in front of you yourself too.

Get the end goal out of your head and make the sex nice and intense for you both to enjoy.

Obviously, you’ll want to have access to the necessary tools to optimally satisfy a girl physically.

You’ll get these tools in the next tips. With these, you’ll make her enjoy the moment intensely, without it taking away from your own adventure with her. You’ll learn to push the right buttons to bring her AND you to a spectacular climax.

First things first: foreplay.

Tip #3: Best way to pleasure a woman? Special foreplay

If you actually know how to give her unforgettable foreplay, I can proudly tell you; you’re already way ahead of the pack.

This is because many men completely skip foreplay.

Fortunately, you now know a good build-up is essential for pleasing a woman.

For a great session, this build-up starts far before reaching the bedroom.

Whether it’s a date that precedes your lovemaking or a one-night stand, in both cases it’s very important to keep increasing the sexual tension between the two of you.

Whether you’re dancing with her in the club or sitting next to her on a date, there must be a subtle tension between the two of you. ‘Subtle’ being: you both know what’s going to happen without it being too obvious.

You can build this subtle tension in the following ways:

  • Keep eye contact while you’re talking
  • Flirt with her
  • Physically satisfy her
  • Show dominance: have the balls to move her or give commands
  • Kiss her

“Got it, Dan. But what am I supposed to do when she’s in my bed?”

Good question, bro. But you’re getting ahead of yourself.

Because the build-up is crucial on how to make a woman happy in bed, it’s important that the environment where the deed is done is safe and clean. Make sure your room is in order and create a pleasant and sensual atmosphere.

Dim lights are ideal (you can also light a candle, but please make sure you don’t set your bed sheets on fire).

You can even influence the atmosphere more by using the right music. Put on some tunes she likes or create a playlist with relaxing, sensual music (preferably the playlist starts with calm and well-known songs and gradually gets more sensual).

After you’ve set everything up, you don’t want to (like most men do) jump right on her like some retarded incel.

Hell no!

You know better.

“Let her beg for sex”
– You as Sex God

Which means: give her a little every time, but not everything in one go.

For example, before being in bed with her you can (slowly) push her up to the wall.

Pro tip:

Keep your hand on the back of her head to prevent bloopers.

Then kiss her lips and neck. Note: you’re not licking her like some dog. Take your time and move gently and controlled.

After this, you place her on your bed. Instead of ripping the clothes off her body, you take it slow here too. Keep kissing her neck and lips (while her clothes are still on).

Gently undress her. Give her a massage when she’s left only wearing her bra.

After she’s completely undressed, you kiss her entire body. Instead of going down on her right away, you slowly build the tension. Kiss her nipples, her belly, her sensitive parts, and her thighs. Every time you close in on her vagina…

…you just don’t give it to her.

Start over with kissing her neck and lips and slowly work your way down again while enjoying her body.

Give her a little more every time, but don’t start using your fingers yet and definitely don’t start penetrating her.

You’ll drive her crazy doing this. The sexual tension between you two will increase up to the point where she’ll start begging you to fuck her.

Don’t be tempted to actually start at this point. Again: take your time, the better you build the tension, the better the foreplay. And the better the foreplay, the bigger the chance is you’ll please her like a sex-king.

When the tension has reached its peak, it’s time to please her orally.

Yeah, you read it right.

Orally pleasing her comes way before you even put a finger in her.

Tip #4: The might of your tongue

Using your tongue is the best way to please your woman.

“But I dislike orally pleasing a woman!”

Too bad then.

If you’re wondering how to please a woman, but you refuse to go down on her… you’re in the wrong place here buddy.

Your tongue plays a crucial role when it comes to satisfying her.

The importance of the tongue is made very clear in Ian Kerner’s book; She Comes First.

“The tongue is mightier than the sword”
– Ian Kerner

This book is one of the many books I’ve read on the topic of satisfying women. It’s exactly this book that distinguishes itself from all the other sex-related books.

Due to one remarkable (and important!) reason:

It’s rarely a matter of penetration.

Kerner argues that, for pleasing a woman, the tongue should be #1 priority. Penetration is subordinated. And this is correct.

Research has shown that the majority of women come when they’re orally pleased, while this happens nowhere as often during penetration.

Below, I’ve listed how to please a woman step by step:

#1: The right position

Women need time when it comes to oral sex. Personally, I enjoy orally pleasing a woman, but it can get you some neck pain after a while.

There’re two things you can do to prevent his. Put her bum on one or two pillows so she’s a little higher up, which makes your job more convenient.

What you could also do, is kneeling next to the bed while she’s lying on the bed. This way she’ll also be higher up, giving you the possibility to relax your neck.

#2: Use some lube

Some men think they don’t need any lube because ‘’they themselves can get her wet enough’’.

This may be true, but lube still has its benefits for her and for you. There’re lubricants that can improve the sensation for her and generally lubricant smells and tastes a lot better than her natural odors.

But this is what most men forget:

#3: Focus on the entire vagina

The clitoris is a small, highly sensitive organ at the top of the vagina. The visible part of the vagina is located in the upper part between the outer lips, where the inner lips converge.

If you still can’t imagine anything with this info, have a look at this image:

The anatomy course is for another time, but the point is that you need to manage to stimulate the entire vagina with your tongue.

Most men engage in clit focus, in which they only focus on the clitoris (or worse, they don’t know where the clitoris is located and just mess around)

Stimulate the entire vagina: build up by licking her outer lips, then move to her inner lips and slowly proceed to her clitoris.

#4: Focus on her reaction

You should know that the vagina’s sensitivity varies a lot from woman to woman. Some women love it when their clitoris is stimulated for long amounts of time, while other women can get sore because of the sensitivity.

The same goes for the pace you have when you’re pleasing her. Always make sure there’s a build-up, vary the pace and intensity and always keep an eye for out for her reaction.

When her body pulls up and her breath gets quicker and heavier, her vagina wetter, her body flexes and she starts moaning harder (in other words: she approaching an orgasm) then keep the pace you’re currently on.

Also listen to the clues she gives you (harder, faster, ‘right there!’ etc.).

#5: Use your fingers while you’re orally pleasing her

One of the best things about the female body is the fact that she can have multiple orgasms in succession, but also multiple orgasms at the same time.

When you learn how to finger properly, you’ll be able to give her a clitoral orgasm as well as a G-spot orgasm.

You’ll learn more about the G-spots’ secrets (and all the other ‘spots’ you should know about) in tip #6.

First you ought to know how to finger properly.

Let’s see if we can put our finger on it (pun intended again).

Tip #5: How to please a woman with your hands

“This was so intense. I’ve got some addresses for you; do you mind me telling my friends about this?”
– An addicted female friend

The latter is a quote from a friend of mine from Groningen.

It was her reply after I fingered her.

Having the magic touch is an art. An art you should master if you desire to please a woman the right way.

It’s an art you can learn.

If your average handwork consists of inserting your fingers and moving in and out rapidly (a.k.a. you’re terrible at it), it’s about time you pay very close attention.


As you know, you start orally pleasing her first and add your fingers later. Doing this already makes you better than 99% of other men who normally stuff in their fingers right away (and sometimes don’t even dare to orally please her).

You’ll get advanced fingering-techniques in the following tip. Let’s start off with the basics.


Before fingering her, make sure your nails are clean and cut!

When you notice she’s excited and wet, stop the oral sex and slowly move your finger alongside her vagina stimulating her clitoris (don’t enter her just yet).

Preferably, use lube for all of this (see the previous tip) to keep everything extra smooth.

Here too, it’s very important you keep focusing on her reaction. If you’re doing it right, her breathing will become quicker, her body will contract and she could get a clitoral orgasm.

You’ll you’re pleasing a woman with your hands right when she starts making the same noise as Patrick from Spongebob (I recommend you to put on your headphones for this video. You’ve been warned)

Then you add a second finger to enter her vagina. Do this gently. Move your finger back and forth inside her, depending on her reaction you can up the pace or slow it back down.

After a while you can put two fingers in her vagina while stimulating her clitoris with your tongue.

Doing this, her clitoris, as well as the inside of her vagina, is stimulated.

It’s exactly the inside of her vagina where a magical spot is located, the so-called G-spot.

But apart from the G-spot, there are other spots in the female reproductive organ you want to be familiar with.

You’ll learn about all these important spots in the following tip for advanced fingering-techniques.

Tip #6: The G-spot (and other spots you didn’t know about)

There’s been done an ungodly amount of research to the G-spot.

In theory you could go through all of this research to figure out how the G-spots works and how you can stimulate it in the best way possible.

But, there’s good news:

You don’t have to do that.

In this tip you’ll get a brief explanation about the G-spot and how to stimulate it so you can please a woman optimally.

In addition, you’ll also get an explanation about two lesser-known spots.

First things first.

The G-spot is named after German gynecologist Ernst Gräfenberg, who first discovered this special spot in the 50’s.

I can walk you through his entire history, but what you should know is this:

The G-spot is located inside of her vagina (about 5cm deep). Upon insertion of the finger (nail facing downward), the G-spot can be felt on the upper side of her vagina. It’s a spongy tissue that can feel rather wrinkly.

To stimulate the G-spot you’re going to want to insert two fingers in her vagina and rub her G-spot by making a “come here” movement.

Pro tip:

Stimulate her G-spot while orally pleasing her clitoris.

If you’re doing it right, you’ll notice that her vagina will become wetter and tighter. It could be that she’ll have a harder time controlling her breathing and body movements.

This is the moment in which you should NEVER stop; she’s about to come.

When you feel that her vagina starts contracting in an increasingly pulsating manner, you’ll know she’s going to come.

Then you insert your middle finger and ring finger and start moving them up and down (to be clear: NOT back and forth anymore) against her G-spot.

With most women you can make this movement a lot faster than the other techniques you have learned so far. If you can keep this up long enough there’s a big chance she’ll start squirting.

(Focus on her reaction here as well, there’s a chance she may experience the rapid movement as too sensitive).

Also, you want to make sure you don’t overstimulate the G-spot. As soon as most men become aware of the G-spot they start stimulating it like a maniac.

Too bad, because apart from the G-spot there are other spots in the vagina that can drive a woman crazy.

The A-spot (not to be confused with the A-hole 😉 ) is located a bit deeper in her vagina. On both sides, where the uterus meets the cervix. The A-spot feels spongy as well and can be stimulated by moving your finger over it.

Then there’s the U-spot. This is the exterior area of her vagina closely above her urethra. This spot is best stimulated with your tongue.

Subsequently, you can learn to combine the stimulation of the U-spot with stimulation of the A-spot and G-spot so you can give her various, more intense orgasms at the same time.

Apart from stimulation via these different spots in and around her vagina, you can also please her outside the vagina by anal stimulation.

The big difference here is that you better ask for her permission first before inserting any fingers in her asshole.

Nobody likes an uninvited backdoor visitor.

Still, I think by now you know exactly how to pleasure a girl with your hands.

Tip #7: Don’t forget to think about yourself

All fun and games, those tips to please a woman in bed.

But don’t forget that sex works both ways.

And women love to see men being pleased by them as well.

It’s a pleasure for her on it’s own.

Though, some men are out to satisfy a woman so much during sex that they forget one crucial thing:


And if you forget yourself, by definition it’ll be hard to please a woman the right way.

“Always remember you’re there to conquer her”

You’re the dominant, attractive, masculine man that’s going to give her the best sex she’s ever had.

It’s important to remember that women want you think about yourself to some extent. Women want to be dominated. Women want you to enjoy the sex you’re having too.

A great example of this is from a Belgian client who called Arnoud one evening.

He called Arnoud completely upset. His girlfriend wanted to leave him. After carefully listening to his story and asking the right questions, Arnoud found out that he and his girlfriend had ended up in a boring routine. Not just the relationship itself, but also in the bedroom there was a dull, relationship-killing routine.

So, what was Arnoud’s advice?

His advice was:

“Go to bed with your girlfriend tonight, completely dominate her and make sure you show her every corner of the bedroom.”
– Arnoud

The result?

His girlfriend told him she wanted to have a child with him the next day.


The “I want to leave you” became “I want a child” in ONE night, just because this man was capable of satisfying her in a masculine and dominant way.

So, grow some balls and show who’s boss when you’re in a relationship with a dominant woman. And don’t be afraid to do the following things:

A small side note for the last one:

Make sure to fuck her the right way if you fuck her hard.

Luckily there’re some specific positions that’ll totally drive her crazy.

Let’s have a look at them.

Tip #8: Three positions that’ll satisfy a girl physically

No worries.

I’ll be providing you with a complete list of the most complex Kamasutra positions in which you’ll end up having your legs behind your neck.


We keep it simple and effective.


The most common positions are:

  • Cowgirl
  • Missionary
  • Doggystyle

This combination is fine (although opening a sex book or even watching a porn to gain some inspiration is not a bad idea every now and then).

The best thing about these 3 positions is that they’re upgradable.

With this upgrade, you’ll be able to fully stimulate her G-spot.

So, even though the following positions are well-known, the following tweaks will give you the ability to optimally please her (and yourself).

Here they are:

Position #1: The ultimate missionary

The problem with the missionary position is that you’ll miss her G-spot in many cases.

You can prevent this by placing her on a pillow so that she’ll be a little higher up.

Then you place her legs in your neck so that you can go as deep as possible.

Your dick will stimulate her G-spot optimally by forcefully pounding her.

Position #2: The cowgirl with a tweak

Ah… she’s on top. This position gives you a great view.

With that said, this position is also the position that stimulates your dick the least, ideal if you tend to come too quickly.


Your dick is not the only thing that is stimulated less. Her G-spot could use some extra attention too in this position.

Instead of moving her up and down (which tends to be the normal course of action during cowgirl) you move her back and forth. From front to back. You can trigger this movement by grabbing her hips and making her move back and forth over your penis.

This’ll stimulate her G-spot optimally AND you’ll be able to last longer.

By the way, one day I went out in the street to ask women “how much time should a man last during sex?”. Some women gave me surprisingly honest replies. And much longer than you might think of. So use this position to your advantage.

Position #3: Doggystyle, but better

Doggy is amazing.

But there’s room for improvement.

Next time you take her from behind, make sure she’s on a pillow flat on her belly.

Then penetrate her from behind while slightly leaning forward. Thrust slightly downwards instead of straight ahead.

This’ll stimulate her G-spot optimally.


This position stimulates the penis a lot. Don’t fuck her too hard if you normally blow your load quickly.

Apart from knowing the right positions, there’s one more very important element to satisfying a woman in bed the right way.

Unfortunately, this element is overlooked by many men.

This element (and why it’s so important) is explained in the next, and final, tip.

Tip #9: Discover her fantasies

If there’s something I’ve learned from all those years of picking up women

It’s that even the sweetest, most innocent women can transform themselves into real sexual beasts in the bedroom.

Maybe you’ve heard of this quote before:

“If she’s a princess on the streets, she’s a freak between the sheets.”
– Wise Words

In many cases this is completely right. It is exactly because women can enjoy sex so much that they often have the most erotic, diverse and weird fantasies about it.

But because most of us have been raised with the belief that “men love sex and women don’t”, it is extremely difficult for most men to find out her hidden fantasies.

Many men (myself included) are anxious to share their own fantasies.

Often these men are afraid that women might think their fantasies are too perverted or shocking.

But you know what’s the best part?

Many female fantasies are much crazier than yours.

So, dare to ask her about her sexual fantasies (this is already possible while flirting, but I’d also highly recommend to ask it when you are in bed after sex).

I guarantee you that some of her fantasies are much more intense than you might ever imagine.

And if you want to please her in bed the best way possible…

You make those fantasies come true together. Not only will she be eternally grateful, but it’s also an interesting variation in your own sex life.

Now, what if she doesn’t feel comfortable sharing her sexual fantasies? In this case, it’s crucial that you create a connection with her.

Read this article and you’ll know exactly how to do that:

>> How To Make A Connection: 7 Tips To Easily Connect With Girls

There you go!

How to satisfy a woman

These 9 tips will give you all the necessary knowhow to optimally please a woman.

Obviously, there’re many more ways to please women, the best part about it is that every woman has different sexual desires and fantasies.

The more women you manage to get into your bedroom, the more you’ll find out about the art of pleasing women.

I’ve created the Transformation Kit to help you get nice ladies into your bedroom.

This package is filled with pick-up lines and flirting techniques that’ll help you get that 10/10 lady home…

…and show her what you’re all about in the bedroom.

Download the kit here. It’s free!

Your bro,
Daan de Ram

Stop awkward conversations
and painful rejections

My free Transformation Kit will make you irresistible to women.

  • 12 Opening Lines that Actually Work
  • 5 Date Generating Texting Tips (Plus Copy-Paste Lines for Tinder)
  • The Friendzone Escape-Room Trick
Yes, give me the Transformation Kit!

Related articles


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *