Is your grandma’s pumpkin soup hotter than the fire that is currently blazing between you and your girlfriend or wife?
If you’re in a long-term relationship, it can be a real challenge to maintain the feeling of being in love from that time.
Man is a creature of habit. After a while, you know all her tricks in bed, all her flaws, and every single birthmark on her body. Everyday routine takes over your relationship like a Roman army and lets the spark of your attraction run out more and more.
But take it easy. There are a lot of things you can do to wash the relationship with Mr. Clean, dip in menthol and refresh it.
In this article you learn:
- 7 Tips how to spice up your relationship to world’s most delicious salad
- Why security in a relationship is a dangerous good
- Why traveling with her is a risky undertaking
- How it helps your relationship when you become a new man
- How you save the infatuation of yore from the depths of damnation with a simple trick
- Why now is the best time to revolutionize your sex life and how you can do it
- And much more tips on how to spice up a relationship…
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Security in a relationship
One of the most important points in relationships is security.
By ‘security’ I mean how certain or uncertain a woman is when it comes to the stability of your relationship.
It’s understandable that she needs a lot of it, considering that she could get pregnant by you and risks being alone with the baby.
Seeking security is an instinct for women.
In psychology, instinct is the term used to describe behavior that is already innate in a living being.
This instinct fulfilled its purpose especially in times when women were more dependent on men than is the case today.
It’s deeply rooted in women.
In other words: If she feels that you want to…
- Cheat on her
- Break up with her
- Hurt her
- Harm her
…then the chances of a woman having a relationship with you are very slim.
But be careful!
However, too much security can lead to boredom. In fact, too much boredom…
The right balance is an essential component in a relationship and the more unbalanced this security is, the more likely it leads to extreme scenarios:
- If she doesn’t feel safe enough, she doesn’t trust you, is paranoid and creates drama.
- If she feels too safe, she doesn’t invest in the relationship and makes less effort.
I don’t know you, but since you clicked on this article, you may be moving towards scenario 2 right now.
Don’t worry, with the right interventions not only can this be prevented, but you can even give the relationship a 360-degree turn.
How to get the spark back in a relationship? 7 ingredients
#1: Take full responsibility
Listen. I realize there are two sides to this.
You aren’t solely to blame for the fact that your relationship is experiencing a little dip.
It’s not your fault, but you’re 100% responsible.
This is the mindset of a proactive man.
Because what does ‘responsibility’ mean?
The dictionary says:
“Responsibility: The state or fact of being responsible, answerable, or accountable for something within one’s power, control, or management.”
Are you ready to be a true man and to bear this responsibility 100%?
Let’s be honest: Most men are too proud and are convinced that the woman should also take care that the relationship gets a breath of fresh air.
Well, I don’t disagree, but a man always makes the first move. If she doesn’t appreciate your efforts and doesn’t follow your steps, then you’re welcome to consider whether you want to continue this relationship.
Until then, you must always make the first step:
Find out why the relationship lost a bit of its spark right now.
It’s your responsibility as a man to give her what she desperately wants, especially if you want her to be completely crazy about you.
#2: The ‘first date’ mentality
I came across this technique by chance.
I was in a one-year relationship with my girlfriend at the time.
She had some psychological problems, which was very much in the way of love’s happiness, but we were both highly motivated to try everything to keep our fire burning.
And so we did, and my worries that it would be a cheap attempt to recreate the feelings of that time were blown away.
It was a completely new experience with a fresh mentality, which made sure that we could look at ourselves from a new perspective.
We did something similar four months later in a club in Latvia. We were just on the dance floor and she asked me if I would talk to her here as if we didn’t know each other yet.
Then I suddenly left, came back 2 minutes later and did what I can do best: Approach women.
Only this time I had the pleasure of unpacking my flirting techniques with my own girlfriend.
We flirted all night long, danced and made passionate love in our hotel room. Our lull in the relationship was soon forgotten…
#3: Be more spontaneous
Everyday life and routine are the Scylla and Charybdis in a relationship.
The most effective way to avoid being swallowed up or drowning is to sail past it at full speed.
In calm conditions you’re guaranteed not to reach the high speed necessary for this. Spontaneity is your #1 source of fresh wind.
You may not be Ulysses, but your situation is much less tricky, because it isn’t so difficult to bring spontaneity into your sail.
As is often the case in life, it’s the little things here that make a big difference.
Spontaneous things you can do:
- Give her a massage.
- Text her and tell her to get dressed up, because you’re picking her up in an hour. Then you take her on a date.
- Surprise her with a gift. There’s a lot of women who really dig that.
- Walk her around the city and suddenly lift her up or stop and say ‘Jump up!’ and offer her a piggyback ride.
- Say that you love her (maybe you haven’t done that for a long time).
- Be childish. Children have no problem with spontaneity. Take her to a ball pit or to swings.
If you want to make sure that you’re really sailing at full speed towards the future, you can travel with her spontaneously.
This brings us straight to the next point.
#4: Travel together
This step is risky, but I’ve seen some couples more passionate than ever about each other after a memorable holiday.
Just think of it as a test to see how well you fit together.
There isn’t much room for oneself when travelling together. And it’s not like with your bros…
You don’t go partying constantly and try to seduce a new woman from a different country every night.
It will be potentially exhausting and challenging.
But with all the other tips you get in this article, it can be a milestone that will spur your relationship once you reach it.
Do a travel vlog.
A friend of mine borrowed my Go-Pro and went away with his wife.
There he took the time from time to time to capture the moment on camera. His wife was a little annoyed by this, but he just knew that it would be worth it in the long run.
Back home, he edited the video material and added a song to it that would make even the Grinch feel totally positive.
When he showed it to his wife, she couldn’t even look at it…
Because she had to constantly wipe away her tears.
Every cell in her body was deeply moved. Their relationship took on new momentum and at the moment it seems to have reached a high.
I don’t think it’s because of the video, but much more because of the beautiful memories they created together.
However, a video can refresh your memory a little.
#5: Travel without her
This tip will surprise you a bit, but I think it’s the most effective so far.
If you travel without her, your relationship will be much more spiced up than with her.
Travel can transform you.
You leave behind all the things that define you and are forced to rediscover yourself.
When you return, you’re a more mature man: You have new experiences and new stories to tell.
Suddenly there’s that attraction between you again.
She asks herself:
In the best case she also travels alone. Then you have countless new stories to tell each other when you meet again. You get to know each other newly. It’s exciting and fresh.
#6: Revolutionize your sex life
This point is so essential that I have to give it a big headline and highlight it.
You know, sex is one of those things.
If it’s good, it’ll only play a small part. If it’s bad, however, it plays a damn big role and can be the main cause of a relationship lull or even the absolute end.
I’m going to give you a minute to digest this fact and then we’ll get right back to…
New sex positions
If you always do the same thing in bed, it’s no wonder that the spark is gone at some point.
New positions can be a lot of fun and bring you back those evenings where you do nothing but have sex and rehydrate. Oh, I love these nights.
Buy a Kama Sutra book or download an app and try out the different positions.
Have a sex date
I used to do that with every one of my girlfriends once in a while. Plan a day with her where you have sex exclusively. Buy her sexy underwear and give her a good fuck.
(New) Sex toys
If you want to sharpen your relationship, go to a sex shop or browse an online store. Find out about the latest dildos, vibrators and lubricants.
Buy one or more toys and test them on your partner.
Let’s say you buy anal beads and it fails… at least you’ll have something to laugh about all night.
So, there’s really nothing to lose!
Semi-public sex is probably the easiest way to bring excitement and tension into your sex life.
You can theoretically have sex anywhere, but please use your common sense.
If you’re caught at the Washington Monument getting a blow job in front of small children and say that you got the idea from me, then I’m offended.
Be more dominant in bed
One danger in relationships is that you become more and more tender with time and at some point, you just have vanilla sex.
It’s a real pity that people tend to be more shamelessly and wildly during a one-night stand than with the partner they trust.
Read these articles to revive your authentic dominant side:
#7: Seduce her every day anew
The biggest mistake one can make is to stop the seduction as soon as you get together.
This is the main reason why so many relationships become more and more dispassionate and eventually break up.
When you enter a relationship with a woman, you should never stop being a sexually attractive man and flirt with her.
Fortunately, my absolute specialty is how to keep a relationship spicey
For that I’ve put together a Transformation Kit with my best relationship advice.
By clicking the link below you will receive it directly and cost-free in your inbox.
No questions asked, just a total revival of your relationship.
See you there.
Dan de Ram