Flirting on Facebook: 11 Tips on How to Start a Conversation

Facebook is full of beautiful women. That’s a fact.

Sometimes, you log in to Facebook and you come across an amazingly stunning girl in your friend’s suggestions. So you ask yourself:

“Should I click on the “Add Friends” button?

Or maybe she’s already your friend on Facebook but you don’t know how to start a conversation. Or you already started to talk to her but the conversation slowly died and you don’t know how to revive it.

I got you, man.

You get all the answers to your questions in this article.

Here’s what you get:

  • How to become a pro at starting a conversation on Facebook with a cute girl
  • The Rider method and how it can improve your flirting on Facebook
  • How to get a “YES” almost every time you ask her out on a date
  • How to approach a woman on Facebook, step-by-step guide
  • Most common mistake men make on Facebook (and how to avoid it!)
  • 3 Messenger flirty lines examples
  • Photo tips to get her addicted to your profile
  • How to make a connection with a woman online
  • Is poking on Facebook still a thing?
  • And a lot more insight on how to start a conversation on Facebook…

By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?

You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.

The article is divided in two situations:

Situation 1:

You met a girl in real life and you got her Facebook profile.

Now you want to start a conversation with her on Facebook. How do you do that?

Situation 2:

You came across some girl’s profiles on Facebook. You’d like to start a conversation with some of them and take them on a date.

In other words: You want to use Facebook as a kind of Tinder 2.0 (add and flirt with random women)

Does this even work? You’ll find it out in this article.

So let’s jump in with the first part:

Situation 1: Flirting on Facebook 101

You met this girl the other day.

Maybe you guys are already familiar, or you barely know each other.

Either way, you find her attractive and you want to start a conversation with her on Facebook.

Tip #1: How to start a conversation with a girl on Facebook

First, let’s start with some basic principles:

Facebook is nothing but a tool to continue (or start) the conversation to see her on date again.

What about WhatsApp, Tinder or texts?

Same; It’s not because the tools happen to have a different name that the underlying principles are different.

When you flirt with a girl on Facebook, you want to:

  • Tease her
  • Have fun
  • Make a connection (more on that later)
  • Take her on a date

However, before you start doing that, here’s how your chat conversation should look like:

You got the idea: You don’t want to ask her on a date right at the beginning of the conversation.

You want to build it up slowly but surely.

To do that, you should bring back the feeling of the interaction you had when you first met.

Let’s say you met a girl in a bar. You spent some time with her, talking and having fun. When you start a conversation with that girl a Facebook, you should restore the feeling of the great time you had in that bar.

This will help sustain the connection you have, and create one that’s even stronger.

It’s only after connecting with her that you should make a move and ask her out on a date.

Let’s see in the next tip how you can ask her on a date the right way.

Tip #2: How to ask her on a date

Asking a girl on a date on Facebook can be tricky. Maybe you don’t have the balls to do it. Or you think it’s never the right time.

The thing is, time passes. Quickly.

And if you wait too long, she might think that you just want to be friends. Then say hello to the Friendzone!

You don’t want that, do you? Thought so.

Now, I get it. You want be absolutely sure that the girl is going to say ‘yes’.

Forget about this.

Here’s a hard truth:

A woman will rarely be 100% sure if she wants to go on a date with you or not. One minute she’s keen, the other not anymore. That’s because women’s feelings are always in motion (Science confirms!)

“Better to ask for forgiveness, than ask for approval.”
Old Japanese proverb

Just kidding, Steve Jobs said this. Smart guy.

So what should you do?

You want to be able to identify the signals she’s sending you. THEN ask her on a date.

Easy task? No, sir.

Men are so bad at this that you might not even notice when a girl is dying for you to ask her out.

So, of course, this topic deserves a full article. Check it out here:

>> 27 Subtle Flirting Signs from a Woman You MUST Recognize

Tip #3: How to get a “YES” almost every time with the Rider method

If you don’t know what’s a rider, it’s an (sometimes very demanding) wish lists of artists that event managers have to fulfilled so that the artists are completely satisfied.

“Alright Dan. But how the hell is this gonna help me take her on a date?!”

Hear me out: If you want to increase the impact of your invitation, as well as the chances of a ‘YES, I’ll go on a date with you :)’, use a Rider.

This rider is an extra list of requirements. A challenge.

For example, let’s say you’re asking a girl out on Facebook. You write:

Let’s go to this new coffee shop together! But please, if you want to like any other coffee ever again, don’t come. After tasting this coffee, you’ll never want anything else.

So you’re asking her out, but you’re warning her at the same time.

It’s a psychological trick. You’re actually saying:

“Come but don’t come”

That’s a great way of both challenging her and making her curious and interested.

The thing is, she might be interested now, but if you want to keep her interested, apply the tips in this article:

>> Keeping Her Interested by Being Interesting – 3 Timeless Tips

Part 2: How to chat with a new girl on Facebook

Facebook can be used as a Tinder 2.0.

In other words:

You can get to know random attractive women on Facebook and then take them on a date.

Before we start, however, you should know that add and hit on random women on Facebook has a low success rate. Sometimes you’ll be able to take a girl on a date. But often you won’t get any answer.

Of course, there’s a way of increasing the probability of success.

Let’s see how you can do that in the next tip.

Tip #5: Avoid making this mistake

Today’s task:

Log in Facebook and go to a hot girl’s profile. Shouldn’t be too hard.



Now take a look at the comments under her photos.

Chances are it’s full of comments like this:

If he was being ironic, it would be funny.
But I’m afraid he actually thinks that’s a good line.                                                               

Facebook is full of flirty comments on girls’ pics.

That’s a very common mistake most men do:

Over-complimenting women.

They think that’s the best way to get her in bed.

I mean, come on. That sh*t doesn’t work, bro.

And I’ll explain why:

By over-complimenting a girl, you’re treating her like a celebrity. And you’re acting like you’re a fan.

The thing is, if you act like a fan, girls will see and treat you like a fan.

You don’t want to be a fan. Fans aren’t attractive.

So, stop putting girls on a pedestal. Girls hate that.

If you meet a girl and treat her as your equal, she’ll treat you as her equal too.

Of course, I’m not saying you should never compliment a girl. But there’s a time and place for everything. And more importantly, there’ a smart way of doing it.

Don’t say:

  • “You’re so hot!!!”


  • “I have to admit… You look pretty good today.”

By saying this, you’re showing interest, but you’re not treating her like a star.

You’re not putting her on a pedestal. You’re implying that there’s a lot of other beautiful girls in the world too (which is true, luckily for us.)

You’re saying you “want” her, but you don’t “need” her.

This, my friend, is called being chill and attractive.

Here’s how I would sum this up: Never give full validation.

Of course, there’s a lot more to say on how to compliment women the right way.

Good thing I wrote a step-by-step compliment guide, check it out here:

>> Compliments for Women: #1 Guide to Make Her Melt for You

Tip #6: Should you chat with random girls on Facebook

“Don’t add random women to Facebook!”

You might have heard this before.

There’s a few reasons why you shouldn’t add random girls:

  • It can be seen as creepy
  • You might have better things to do with your time
  • Approaching women in real life is way more efficient
  • Tinder works better

Most people don’t see Facebook as a normal place to add and flirt with random women. But…

  • Does the bus station only exist to catch the bus?
  • Do the supermarkets only exist to buy food?
  • .. do the nightclubs only exists to dance?

No. You can meet girls everywhere. And on Facebook too.

So how do you do that?

Bonus tip: What does it mean if someone pokes you on Facebook

If you’re on Facebook since the beginnings, you might remember Facebook used to have a Poke button (a finger next to the user’s name). With that button, you could… well, poke someone.

Is a Facebook poke even a thing now?

Pokes still exist, but not next to the user’s name anymore. It has been put behind a menu, so you have to click/ tap a few times to be able to Poke.

So should you poke girls to get their attention?

No, man. Pokes are outdated and useless. Instead, do this:

Tip #7: Create a movie star Facebook profile

When a woman gets a random friend request, she has three choices:

  • 1: Decline
  • 2: First see who this guy is
  • 3: Accept

If she declines, there’s nothing you can do. Next.

If she accepts: congratulations. You’re one step closer to the date. Now you want to start talking to her. And you better do it the right way (see tip below).

Now, if you want to increase your chances of her accepting your request, you want to make sure she’s blown away by your Facebook profile.

But how do you make sure you have a movie star Facebook profile if you’re not George Clooney or Brad Pitt?

By posting the right photos.

Check out the following images:

Got it?

No, you don’t have to wear a Batman suit and be super muscular.

What you want is to be the center of attention on your photos.

Here’s another example:

See? This photo displays status. Status is attractive.

You also want to show that you have a sweet gentleman-side.

You should have pictures with:

  • Pets
  • Cute kids (who are clearly NOT yours)
  • People you’re helping

Something like this works wonders:

One of our coaches, with his soon-to-be coach.

So make sure your Facebook profile displays two sides of you:

  • Movie star status (this should be roughly 80% of your posts and pictures)
  • Gentleman (roughly 20%)

Now that you know how to have a bad-ass profile, let’s see how you can start a conversation with a girl on Facebook.

Tip #9: Flirt on Facebook the right way

You already know what you want to avoid when flirting on Facebook:

Don’t over-compliment. Don’t send ridiculous pick-up lines. Don’t put girls on a pedestal (even if they’re hot.)


Keep it simple. Keep it chill.

For example, let’s say she posts a cool picture on her profile.


That looks cool. How was your trip?

What about if you can’t see her pictures because you’re still not friends on Facebook?

In this case, simply send 2 emoji’s.

Why just 2 emoji’s?

Keep it simple, remember?

It’ll trigger her interest. She’ll think “What this is all about?”

And before she can rationally think it’s someone trying to get to know her, she’s already sent back a message.

Now that you have started a conversation, be flirtatious and playful.

When you show that you are a chill guy and not a creep, she’ll slowly become more comfortable in the conversation.

Pro tip:

If you need more examples of conversation starters to use when flirting on Facebook, check out this article right here:

>> Conversation Topics List – the 19 Hottest Conversation Starters

Now it’s time to make a connection with her and work yourself towards the date.

Tip #10: Connect and go

So how do you make a connection with a random girl when flirting on Facebook?

Let’s start with the don’ts:

Don’t ask boring questions like:

Where are you from?

What do you study?

What do you do?

No. These questions are for grandparents, professors and police inspectors. Or for a third date.

Instead, you want to bring emotions into the interaction. You want to ask more personal questions.

Science says that asking more personal questions on a date results in a closer relationship between two people.

An ideal way to do this is by asking This or that questions.

Asking this or that questions is a great conversation starter where she chooses which of two options she prefers.

It’s an amazing way to make a connection with a girl in a playful and light hearted way.


What would you prefer: to have millions of euros but never be able to leave the country OR have just enough money for food and drinks but be able to travel the world for free?

What do you think is most harmful, weed or alcohol?

Whatever she says, don’t always agree with her answer. Actually, it’s even better if you disagree (it opens up a debate.)

For example, if she says weed, you say:

Weed, really? I don’t know about that! I’d rather spend the day with a stoner than an alcoholic. I choose alcohol 🙂


She says she’d rather have millions of euros but never get out of the country. Then you can answer:

You little capitalist ;p Okay, you’ve got enough money for the rest of your life but you’ll never get to see the beautiful Caribbean beaches, the Egyptian pyramids or the beautiful northern lights of Iceland. Why do you choose millions?

Of course, there are way more examples of great questions you can ask a girl on Facebook.

Here’s a list of 145 examples. Pick those you prefer and use them in your conversations:

>> 145+ Must Have Date Questions to Vibe Deep into the Night

Tip #11: Here comes the ironic tip

If you want meet girls online, don’t use Facebook.

“What? But Dan, this article is all about flirting on Facebook!”

I know. But as I said earlier in this article, Facebook has a low success rate.

And no worries, all the tips you’ve learned here work just as well on any other social medias.

So what should you use instead?

I recommend Instagram.

It’s seen as much more normal to flirt with girls on Instagram than on Facebook.


How to start meeting and dating more girls right away

If you want to take things to the next level and start having the love life you deserve, forget about Facebook or Instagram.

They can be a little addition but if you want to get actual results, real life dating or dating apps are the way to go.

So how do you go about flirting with girls in the street, in bars/clubs, or on Tinder?

You get all the answers to these questions in my free Transformation Kit.

It’s a toolkit to start dating right away, with all of the best tips for making yourself an attractive man.

You get:

  • The best opening lines to get her hooked
  • How to get out of the friendzone and be her lover
  • Steal my lines for more entertaining conversations online and offline
  • Step-by-step instructions for attracting women
  • And much more…

You can find it all in my Transformation Kit.

Download it here, it’s free!

Your bro,
Dan de Ram

Stop awkward conversations
and painful rejections

My free Transformation Kit will make you irresistible to women.

  • 12 Opening Lines that Actually Work
  • 5 Date Generating Texting Tips (Plus Copy-Paste Lines for Tinder)
  • The Friendzone Escape-Room Trick
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