In this article, you’ll learn
- How to text girls on Tinder: What you should definitely not write if you want to get a response
- What goes through the mind of women before they swipe right
- How to be successful on Tinder even without a model look
- The 5 fatal mistakes that almost all men make on Tinder and how you can use this to your advantage
- What to say to a girl on Tinder: A foolproof method to start a conversation
- Much more insights to start a conversation on tinder smoothly…
By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
IT’S A MATCH!
Does this mean it’s safe to say you’re going on a date in a couple of days?
That just means you can text now.
So, the real game has just begun. Now, it’s up to you to make something of this match, my faithful Tinder Trooper.
What are you texting her?
How about a simple “hello”?
As you can see if you weren’t the only one who had this “brilliant” idea…
Okay… let’s just hold on: Simple “hellos” are forbidden on Tinder as of today, because they go down like a bicycle in the Mississippi.
But then, what should you text your matches instead?
Maybe you think you should show her right away that you like her…
Well, again, others have beaten you to it.
Every run-of-the-mill Tinder Troll comes up with the same crap. And then they blame the women, online dating, Obama or the Illuminati for their lousy results.
But you don’t do that. You’re a man of action about to join the Tinder Elite.
We’re going to do it completely differently.
I, King Tinderius Danus II, will show you the way. Glorious days are in sight.
The first thing we’ll do is to clearly distinguish ourselves from the mainstream. So stand up briefly, put your middle fingers in the air and yell as loud as you can:
Felt good, right?
I can hear you thinking:
Since you’re a man of action, maybe you’ve done some research on the internet and found out that your first message on tinder to a girl must be funny, witty, charismatic, humorous, mysterious and by no means creepy.
Okeeeeeeeyyy… but how exactly is this supposed to look?
What’s that magic pick-up line that makes her panties disappear?
Sorry, bro, there’s no such thing as the magic pill.
The idea that you can win all women’s hearts with one line is pure poison for you and all involved.
Let me tell you something:
The only function of the first Tinder message to send to a girl is to get the conversation going. That’s it. The seduction process is just beginning.
There are unyielding Tinder Laws that you must not violate. And that’s why I’ve written this article to explain how to keep your response rate as high as possible.
No luck on Tinder?
Coaching participants often come to me with the following problem:
Any normal looking guy can be successful on Tinder.
The first step:
You need matches.
But any ambitious Tinder Trooper will soon find out:
Match ≠ date.
There are countless women who never respond, or only react briefly and succinctly.
I know it’s frustrating when you put all your creativity into a good first message and then get no response.
But the dry spell is over. It’s time to collect dates!
What does it mean to have a match?
It’s not a trick question. It’s worth thinking about for a moment.
Because a lot of guys assume that…
It means she’s interested.
There’s a huge difference.
She’s just open for a conversation.
But a conversation is all a good Tinder Trooper needs.
Now, let’s make sure you don’t give away all your potential by making one of these mistakes…
The 5 biggest mistakes on Tinder
Mistake #1: Being a pervert
You should not only banish from Tinder, but also from your mind everything that’s creepy, sexist, misogynistic, misanthropic, perverted or repulsive.
Being a pervert = staying a virgin
That’s the biggest mistake you can make on Tinder.
Sure, if you use your common sense, you’ll come up with it yourself.
Nevertheless, women are texted daily by creepy lecherous men.
I sacrificed myself for the team to show you how it affects women.
(Testing the “PERV-MODE” felt extremely wrong, but what wouldn’t I do for you…)
Being a pervert doesn’t work.
So, stop it!
The only thing that gets f*cked is your chance for sex.
How many times do you think you’re going to succeed at nightlife saying “Let’s f*ck.”
Right, none at all. At least it won’t work on women with class.
On Tinder, it’s no different.
Yes, the woman is on Tinder, but no, that doesn’t automatically mean she just wants sex.
As long as you don’t know each other and she’s not yet used to you, you shouldn’t talk about your abilities in bed. Don’t write anything you wouldn’t say to a woman’s face in real life.
On the other hand, what works well is to talk indirectly about sex. But more on that later.
Even (and especially) if the woman in her pictures obviously likes to present her breasts, buttocks or other intimate body parts, it’s good not to make the conversation too obviously sexual.
Mistake #2: Drawing a trail of slime behind you
Let me teach you something about beautiful women that a lot of men don’t understand:
They hear every day that they look beautiful.
Nevertheless, many men think that they’re the first to notice that a woman is attractive. And then they think it’s a great idea to inform the woman about it in the first message.
As you’ll see in a moment, most of the guys on Tinder try to crawl their way into the woman’s pants.
What I’m showing here is just the tip of the iceberg of slimy messages that a friend of mine is getting:
She has heard all kinds of compliments about her body and beauty X million times. Even if your message is sincere and honest, you can’t impress her with that, homey.
Does it never work?
Not never, I’ve tried it on countless matches.
It’s not completely impossible to succeed with a comment about her appearance. With a funny profile text and good pictures, it can work.
If you’re also her type, she might even respond well to a message like that.
But it’s important for you to know that this case is an exception
So, it’s better for you to avoid this crap.
The time to say something superficial about her comes later. If she feels that you’ve really taken the time to get to know her personality, she’ll be happy if you like her appearance as well. This works especially well with things that most men don’t even notice.
A woman is typically happy about a compliment about her style because she had to spend energy in some way for it. Looks are something she was born with, so she didn’t have to make any effort. Style is something she had to invest energy in and says more about her personality.
Mistake #3: Playing the loser
Men often want women so much that they adore them. And they don’t know a thing about the woman except that they think she’s hot:
Communicating with a message of this nature shows that your self-esteem is less than my respect for these men…
Instead, you might as well write:
This is such a bad way to start a conversation that we have to put this point behind us as soon as possible.
Mistake #4: Sending an avalanche of messages
What you should never do is to start your own mini-series called “Desperate messages guaranteed to turn off any woman”.
Just look at how repulsive that is:
I have only one thing to say to the guy whose messages here serve as an example of how NOT to do it:
It’s much more effective to just stay cool when a woman doesn’t respond immediately.
Mistake #5: Use a “nice” standard line
The internet is full of “original pick-up lines with a guarantee of success”.
The problem is that these lines have been circulating for a while now. This means that half of the Tinder users have already read them or sent them out in the hope of guaranteed success.
So, if you start your conversation today with “Congratulations on your match” or “Hey, future ex-wife”, you’re already 0:1 behind.
Many men are so unimaginative that they think this is THE way to start a conversation. But this way, the only thing you do is give the impression you are copying and pasting your messages.
If she gets the feeling that you say that to everyone, she’s probably right.
Women aren’t stupid.
Think about it. What is the most likely outcome?
She’ll send you standard replies to your message – if at all.
What you can do, however, is to develop your own creative lines. A good first message should be slightly different from the standard “Hey, how are you?”
Here‘s an example:
The likelihood that a woman will respond to such a message is much higher because she feels that you wrote it just for her.
This is what makes you stand out from many men on Tinder.
The best first message on Tinder: Which texts do work?
Time and again, men come to me and say:
We’ve tried it:
One of my friends is a professional model and hit up 100 matches with a plain “Hey :)” or “Hey”.
You wonder how many of them responded?
Almost half of them simply ignored this message. The other 50% texted back some boring answers.
There will always be women who respond to a simple “hey.” But if you don’t respond to it originally, your chances of a good conversation shrink as Ant-man does.
This is the difference between a “solala” and a “wow” conversation.
The moral of the story?
As long as you’re not a model, you shouldn’t belong to the dreary mass of all “hey”-dudes.
The power of humor: Funny Tinder messages
One of the best ways to start a conversation on Tinder is with something funny.
In general, the vibe that your message conveys is more important than the actual content.
If you can already make a woman laugh with your first message, you have good prerequisites. To achieve this, you need a “video game mindset“:
Don’t take everything too seriously. It’s just Tinder, bro…
Sure, it’s great to have a match with a great woman, but you shouldn’t interact with her as if it were your only and last chance to saddle up somewhere.
Even if the conversation with your “dream woman” on Tinder suddenly stops, it’s not the end of the world.
Like Drake said:
You completely f*cked up with your first message?
Just laugh about it.
Think of Tinder as a fun game.
Here is an example to inspire you:
The only thing her profile says is:
In an uncomplicated relationship with red wine and cheese.
What does that mean?
Right: An invitation to start right there.
What you shouldn’t do is take a rational approach, like:
It’s much more exciting to start the conversation for example with the topic of relationship, cheating or affairs. This creates much more emotions than the topic of cheese.
Sometimes, you can’t find anything in her profile or on her first photo that could be commented on. In that case, just look at the other pictures:
Women on Tinder with animals
You can always be inspired by a look at her profile. This doesn’t mean that you always have to come up with some new, funny line for every woman!
Some pictures you’ll encounter more often than others, such as a lady with a dog:
If you see a certain picture over and over again, you can be lazy. Just use the same line that you’ve been successful with before.
There’s a remarkably high probability that you’ll see dogs and cats on Tinder.
But you’ll probably see other animals as well, such as birds, horses, rabbits and some exotic animals that some women have seen on holiday.
Let your creativity run wild and think up funny comments about it.
Like this one (props to a fellow coach of mine):
What if she texts you first?
It can happen (with the emphasis on “can”) that a woman texts you first of her own accord.
This is a sign that she already liked your profile very much.
If you then play it tough (play the gangster), it’ll probably backfire.
She already liked your profile so much that you already have “value” in her eyes. If you can see that clearly, then lean back a little more.
If she starts the conversation with a standard phrase, you can tease her a little for that:
In such a case, you shouldn’t chat with her for too long. You can resume the conversation after just a few messages on WhatsApp. This will bring you a little closer to a potentially amazing date.
The Schwarzenegger power of a good profile text
I can’t stress enough how important it is to have a good profile text. It not only increases your chances of getting more matches, but it also makes it easier for you to get in touch with them.
I once had a profile text about the art of spooning.
Because it was so funny and unusual, many women started the conversation with a comment:
This conversation has a nice flow. Quite different from the usual “Yes, I’m fine too” which occurs in 9 out of 10 other conversations on Tinder.
Even if you start the convo yourself, a good profile makes it easier for you.
By talking about “spooning”, the woman will start to imagine what it would be like to sleep with you. The vibe that results from this conversation is raunchy and sexy. That is, unless you bring up the subject of sex too directly.
Tinder as Thomas Edison
When a journalist wrote that Thomas Edison had failed more than 10,000 times in his attempt to make the light bulb shine, Edison said:
It’s precisely this mentality that makes Edison one of the greatest inventors mankind has ever seen.
Take an example from him and experiment with what you’ve learned here.
And to help you prevent having to try out millions of things I’m going to give you a texting bonus.
My free Texting Masterclass. As a part of my Transformation Kit.
Which will guide your through all the aspects of online and offline dating.
May the Force be with you, my faithful Tinder Trooper.
Dan de Ram