Talking to a woman is just like surfing; you can always succeed. If you have the right bay and if it’s the right time, the position of the moon is correct, the direction of the wind is favorable, and the right current.
So there are some challenges.
No worries. Today I’ll teach you to surf through your conversations like a true surfing legend.
In this article, you’ll get:
- The biggest mistake men make in general while talking to women and how you prevent them
- How you can use your voice to make her pay attention to you more than a Morgan Freeman movie
- How you can get so many things to say that you’ll never have to wonder what to say next
- How you can let your words flow like the Niagara Falls
- Why overstating is a craft, an amazing one
- The number 1 word that sabotages conversations
- How you get a better connection than Batman and Robin
By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
Tip #1: How you should NOT talk to a woman
Remember the most beautiful woman you talked to recently.
You probably have one of the following memories:
That time you had a wonderfully deep conversation with a woman, in which you came closer together and built a real connection.
Or that time that you didn’t know what to say: she looked at you, you looked back.
An awkward silence followed.
You stumbled over some cliché questions.
She started to gape.
You walked away with your tail between your legs, feeling a strong urge to smack yourself in the face.
But why does the one conversation end like this:
And the other one like this:
(Notice the fact that there’s no woman present in this picture)
The answer’s easy.
The right emotional charge.
There you have it, the solution to all your problems while you speak to women in 1 short sentence.
No worries bro, I’ll help you.
When you look at it objectively, most Average Andy’s conversations look pretty much like this:
Just as boring as that two-hour math class by that teacher who you hate.
Remember the subjects of your common bar conversation:
Probably something like:
- Your work
- Where you come from
- If you just saw that guy vomit in the corner
Imagine she asks you what you do for a living when you talk to a woman at a bar.
I get my crystal ball and I predict the future by guessing what your answer would sound like.
*rubs intensively on crystal ball*
I predict it sounds pretty much like this. Let’s take me as an example:
Read the line to yourself once more. Do you think it sounds exciting? Would it intrigue her?
The reason is that there is no emotion in it, no passion… Nothing!
Answers like the above dry out her pussy faster than a hot day in Death Valley.
Let’s take the same answer and add at least 4,5 liters of emotion to the mix, so you can talk more like a woman.
Think about it, why is what you’re doing awesome? What drives you at work, and what game-changing things did you do?
*stirring it up a little*
*Add a huge waterfall here*
Do you see what I did? An answer like this one intrigues you a lot. What experiences did you get?
You give her way more to react to.
If you think this yourself, what do you expect her to think of your job?
Trigger her curiosity, and more so, her emotions.
When you are chatting more about work or hobbies, use words that pull her in the emotion-vortex.
That way you can get a woman to love you, solely because of the way you talk to her.
- When I’m playing the guitar, I feel so creative.
- When I’m working, I always get the feeling I have everything under control, and I love it.
- I always get the feeling of freedom when I travel, that I can go anywhere.
Also, don’t forget to share how you experienced events. What you saw, smelled, heard, etc. to pull her into your story as deeply as possible. If you do that, she’ll feel like she’s listening to Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson…
Do you feel me bro?
Good, cause this is key if you want to intrigue a woman and make her so attracted, she sends you WhatsApp messages in the middle of the night to tell you more about yourself.
So remember, your hobbies, job, and life are as awesome as you make them yourself.
Tip #2: A sexy striking voice in 3, 2, 1…
Many guys believe that an interesting conversation is caused by… interesting content.
That is precisely the illusion that makes many conversations so boring, and you’ll know much better after this advice.
Until you bring your well-studied pickup lines with 4 helium balloons in your throat.
On the other hand, some guys think they imitate Batman, with a little spark of Darth Vader in between.
No matter how hilarious I think it is to hear my childhood hero into my left ear, it isn’t very attractive.
You don’t want to manipulate your voice in a strange way to seem extra manly.
Women notice that faster than there’s a sale somewhere.
The thing you want to do is touch her emotions instead of her ratio.
Give her a super enthusiastic remark, or be just a little bit stricter to her.
Check yourself on whether you are saying your lines in a dry or emotional way.
That way, you take her with you on a rollercoaster of emotion that might just end in her waterpark. 😉
And now we’ll focus on another notable thing, your speed.
The average guy talks as fast as a freshly oiled BMW on the German Autobahn.
Why? I have no clue; maybe right after this conversation, they have a SUPER important appointment at the gardener’s club.
If you talk that fast to women, you’ll seem uncalibrated to her. You’re allowed to be nervous, but don’t let the nerves take over.
You also give her so many nervous inputs, that it becomes hard for her to respond nicely to you.
You bring yourself from the calm James Bond-like player to the frightened schoolgirl that has to give a presentation in 5th grade.
So calm down bro, it’ll be alright.
If you talk to a woman, you want to talk about ½ to ⅔ of your normal speed.
That way, you show the calmness that is attractive to women.
You also bring the pace from the fifth gear with four thousand rpm back to a comfortable third gear with fifteen hundred rpm.
And do you know what’s one of the biggest advantages?
Right, you give yourself even more time to deliver that kick-ass punchline that makes her giggle like a schoolgirl.
Be spontaneous… but also be well-prepared! For example, prepare properly by getting my download of 20+ example lines.
This is a free eBook you can pick up right now here, so you’ll never stand there, not knowing what to talk about with a woman
Tip #3: Conversation topics that would bring tabloids to shame
The beat is banging in your ears… you’re almost blinded by all the bright lights…
And you’ve just approached the hottest lady in the club.
Your opener lands well, but what now?
You stammer the next few sentences with some difficulty…
You start to doubt yourself… “Am I doing a good job? Does she like me?
Suddenly, she turns her head. Apparently her drink is more interesting…
What went wrong here? You lost her interest.
This happens to almost all men. They have boring conversations.
Why is this? What triggers those amazing conversations that other men DO have?
If you look at the most interesting questions you’ve ever been asked…
What do they have in common?
They make you think.
They aren’t closed questions.
Open questions coax out deep answers from which lengthy conversations can evolve.
Just look at the obligatory CV questions that your Average Joe treats her to at a date, for example.
Almost all the above sentences invite a one-word response.
So ask open ended questions to get her thinking. This is a good start when it comes to how to speak with women.
Tip #4: Simple exercise to have fun conversations with women
So I have more awesome stuff for you…
Because if the cat’s got your tongue… and you have used up all your canned sentences… and you HAVE to keep the conversation going…
This powerful exercise is called the “chain of association”.
Yes, it sounds like an activity for a fraternity’s hazing week.
It makes for easy flowing conversations, without lingering too long on one conversation topic.
How does it work?
The exercise, do this for 2-5 minutes:
For example, she answers your open-ended question with:
But you only find San Francisco mildly interesting. Then how could you respond in a way that you still find it interesting to talk about?
Well, get your axe, because we’re about to chop this sentence up like it was our steak dinner.
Now see every piece of the sentence as a chain that can lead to a new subject.
If you think about “I think”, it can open an array of fun responses from your end.
That you’re wearing an elegant dress, it shows your legs in a sexy way.”
Or the second part of the sentence:
And finally, “an awesome city”:
Ya get me?
Ya feel me?
Practice this and get results…
Tip #5: The mindset that keeps your conversations with women boring
Do you recognize that voice in your head:
Because of this overthinking, you completely lose your flow and all spontaneity in your conversations.
Yet it’s so simple to solve.
Let me ask you a question:
Do you sometimes doubt what you should say to your friends?
Or at least it’s no way as often as with women.
You just say whatever comes up in your head and one topic flows into the other.
But when you talk to women this is different, every sentence you utter goes through a filter.
Will she like this? Is it too boring? Or could she be offended by it?
You decide not to go with your original impulse and you filter yourself away.
The flow of the conversation is void of the golden nuggets that are your personality, and any spontaneity is filtered away by the skeptical ceive of your insecurity.
Just look at what happens here. By thinking so rationally, you lose your masculinity, authenticity and spontaneity.
What would women prefer? An original Tarzan who swings from subject to subject like Tarzan…
… or a scared little monkey who’s afraid to lose or offend her?
So here’s the golden rule
Better give TOO MUCH expression than too little.
Say what comes to mind, be spontaneous, who knows, you might not be the only one who likes to swing from branch to branch.
Ok, bad joke, forgive me.
Does this spontaneity mean that you completely turn off your brain and just throw whatever crap at her that you can come up with?
No, dose it like a good whisky. Let it out sparingly, my friend.
You are at your most attractive when you are expressive.
The best way to show more expression is in the following tip.
Tip #5: Why exaggeration is a craft, a beautiful craft
Do you recognize that awkward moment, when you tell a joke or a story, but you completely bomb.
It gives you a horrible feeling.
She nods politely at your story. But in reality she’s not so happy to hear it. Or she understands that you’re telling a joke, but it makes no impact whatsoever.
A real *ba-dum tsss*-moment.
The big problem is that many men aren’t expressive enough.
They speak monotonously, with little animation, and that comes across as boring.
What you tell her is an expression of yourself, it’s an expression of your personality.
When I train men, time upon time again I see that men need to be 3-4 times as expressive as their standard level.
Dare to show your personality. You do this by exaggerating.
Because, the more you exaggerate, the more your personality comes to the surface.
You quickly change from that boring, punani-drying loser into the waterfall-inducing superhero.
For example, exaggerate the answers you give.
She tells you she’s from San Francisco.
Instead of saying oh ok, try saying this:
Of course, you should do this in a crazy and EXAGGERATED way, and not with the intonation of your highschool math teacher.
This gives her an emotional spike and it shows who you really are and what you feel.
She gets to see more of you and so you’ll find out whether you’re a good match for each other.
So next time that boring old answer is on the tip of your tongue about to come out, try exaggerating, and show her who you really are.
Tip #6: The #1 word that kills conversations
Many men start their conversations with a certain word, and that word completely kills ALL FLOW from their conversation…
Many men somehow manage to live in a world of their own.
They respond to something a woman says with a “no”.
This means you’re interrupting her.
You are pulling the attention to yourself without responding to the other person.
Imagine you’re talking about holidays and she’s telling you about her two weeks in Spain.
… And you immediately pull the conversation about yourself by saying “no, I was in Italy this summer”.
Every time you tell her no, it feels like a subtle “STOP” in the conversation, even if it’s just a small one.
You are emotionally separating her from you; you’re the North pole, she’s the South pole.
What works way better is involving her in your conversation.
This is how you involve her in your conversation topics.
And on top of that you’re giving her the impression that you’re a good listener, because you really are!
Tip #7: A connection that’s stronger than superglue
This tip will help you make a better connection than some brothers and sisters might have.
The average guy lives in his own world, tells his own stories and sometimes even answers his own questions.
Well, at least that’s better than just nodding and smiling to everything she says, I hear you thinking. And sure, you’re right about that.
The problem with this line of thought is that you aren’t involving her in your conversation.
It’s you against her. Team versus team. Sometimes she’s the interviewer, sometimes it’s you.
Then you might as well have a conversation with that teddy bear you keep under your bed.
The consequence of this way of keeping a conversation going is that you build zero connection with her.
But imagine you have her fantasize about a bank robbery that you plot together, or that time you will go bungee jumping together.
You want to involve her deeply in her story, what are you going to do together, where are you going, what are you experiencing together?
If you do this, you’ll flip her mindset from him against me to him and me, a team.
She tells you she’s from New york, you tell her: “Cool, that’s where the Empire State Building is.
Well, that’s the standard boring answer.
So flip it upside down and involve her in your conversation.
Cool! I have always wanted to climb to the top of the Empire States Building, let’s do that together, I already see you in your cute climbing harness.
I hope you aren’t afraid of heights?
Look at this example, what do you think the result of this will be?
Right, you build a bond together.
And if that bond is strong enough, the plans you make together might even become a reality!
Looking back, see the big stack of techniques that will help you transform your conversations from a nuclear war between Russia and North Korea, to a passionate interaction between Romeo and Juliet.
Now you know how to talk to a woman.
I’d love to hear the stories about the amazing conversations you’ll have with these techniques.
Bonus: Example sentences + Tinder opener
And I also have another fat bonus, for the bosses among you who have finished reading this full article.
It’s a pack, with 20+ example sentences, the best Tinder opener and a cheat sheet for WhatsApp.
It also includes a template to easily approach women.
You can download below for free.
Check it out now.
Dan de Ram