What should you send to someone you like?
To a normal, platonic friend, you can send the coolest messages and not worry about a thing.
But if you like someone, it’s like you suddenly freeze!
In this article, you will get:
- How to text a girl you like – 12+ lines you can steal from me
- Screenshot examples of Instagram DMs, WhatsApp and Facebook messengers
- The #1 word how to win a girl heart with text message
- How you SHOULD and SHOULDN’T ask someone out for a date
- A sign that someone likes you via over text
- 9 Screenshots from recent texting conversations
- And much more…
By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
Tip #1: Do NOT send this to someone you like
You have feelings for someone. That’s great, but it’s also dangerous.
Because your feelings don’t always help you, no matter how strong they are.
Of course, it probably feels like a good idea to eat that whole tub of Ben&Jerry’s, but it’s not a good idea.
In another instance, though, your feelings can be the way to win over your crush on chat.
You feel attraction, interest, and you want to know EVERYTHING about that person.
That can mean you start asking non-stop questions:
All that interest you show is kindly meant, but it isn’t the way how to tell a girl you like her over text.
If someone keeps asking, without adding anything, it’s going to get really boring, very quickly. Of course, it’s fine to ask questions, but make sure you also add a lot to the conversation.
Let me give you an example in the following tip!
Tip #2: How to make her fall for you over text with one word
Sometimes success can be so delightfully simple.
Research demonstrates that using one word allows you to be more successful with your online dating profile.
This means, of course, that it’s also logical that this word will help you out with your conversations on Instagram / WhatsApp / Tinder.
What is this magical word?
Love is, of course, the one thing almost any man or woman is looking for.
But how do you use this in your chat conversations? Do you have to confess your love?
But by using more emotional words, you can get nicer texting conversations with women. If you like someone, then don’t talk about your work emails… That’s far too dry!
(Even though as a professional dating coach, I do sometimes see chats like that from clients…)
So what should you do?
Use love as a verb. For example, don’t just say
It’s got much more emotional significance, and it subtly brings ‘love’ into your conversation.
The great thing is that your conversational partner will likely mirror your language. If she does that, it’s a signal that she likes you too.
Example via WhatsApp:
This woman sends me a funny song with rather old-fashioned lyrics. The topic is:
Not exactly the kind of thing you’d sing today. Here’s the song if you’d like to hear:
You see that I say ‘love it’, and she immediately mimicks my language in her next message.
Then, I send her a funny picture while I continue the joke. A funny picture says more than a thousand words. Even if it’s just an empty cottage cheese container. #bodybuilding
The next tip will give you more tips about funny pictures and video ideas to send to someone you like!
Tip #3: How to flirt with a girl over text (Instagram example)
Your first message will decide the tone of the conversation.
It’s just like the first impression in real life – don’t ruin it!
Make sure you do this the right way if you send a message to a girl you like.
I’ll give you a tip later on how to start the conversation on Instagram with someone you like but DON’T know.
Your best chances are if you already know her, of course.
What a lot of guys do wrong is that they send things like:
Of course, that last message is VERY bad, since you imply you’re not so memorable. Apparently, she has the memory of a goldfish and forgot about you within 24 hours.
You could do much better.
Take a look at the 3 messages above, and tell me what mistakes you see.
Do it now.
You’ll probably say, ‘they’re boring messages.’And yes, you’re right, but that’s not the mistake.
Or you say, ‘they’re all questions!’ And yes, that’s wrong too, but that’s not the problem either.
The big mistake is that all the messages attempt to rebuild the connection, instead of referring back to the real-life interaction.
So start the conversation with a real-life joke.
Below is an example from my Instagram.
We first met on the street in the evening. We were talking together with a friend of hers and my assistant. I added her on Instagram and started looking at her pictures.
I scrolled down and found some old photos of her sitting drunk in a shopping cart. It made her blush quite a bit.
So in my first message on Instagram, I teased her when I saw she had deleted several photos:
Then I send the screenshot I happened to take, to tease her some more. She sends back ‘whyyy’ with crying emojis, but also a happy smiling smiley ‘:Dddddd’, so I know she’s responding positively.
These are not exact messages you can send, because it’s best to customize your message.
However, if you want more cut-and-paste messages, I recommend the WhatsApp cheatsheet. It will give you 25 tips and funny messages to send.
They always work, and they’re free, too. Get them here!
Up next: how to flirt with a girl over text.
Tip #4: The best technique to get flirty conversations
So you like a pretty woman, what do you send her?
If you have ever watched a series on YouTube/Netflix/whatever, this is a scientifically proven tip.
A woman mentioned on her Badoo (a dating app) profile that she was looking for ‘the Chandler to her Monica.’
Maybe that doesn’t tell you anything at all, but it’s a reference to two main characters in the series Friends.
Now I love Chandler as a character. I used to identify with his humour, so reacting to this was extra easy. The tip is not that you have to send exactly these sentences, but that you start a nice roleplaying game with her.
For example, by taking over the roles from a series, you both watch.
Here’s what I sent:
She starts the conversation on WhatsApp after I gave my number on Badoo. The roleplay had started nicely, that’s why she’s asking if I’m asleep with the addition ‘Chandler.’
Then I move on to a joke that’s also a Friends reference, from the famous episode where Ross sleeps with another woman. Rachel accuses him of cheating, but Ross claims they’ve split up.
In my last message, you’ll see, I ask her on a date. More about how to ask a girl out over text in the next tip…
Tip #5: How to ask someone you like on a date through text
A common mistake is that you don’t know what to send.
But you know one thing.
You want to ask her for a date.
That’s a noble goal, but you go too quickly. It’s as if you go all-in in a poker game!
Like this woman, who asked me out via Facebook in her very first message:
For the people trying to figure out what she actually sent:
Instead of getting the conversation going, it’s pretty risky to go for the date right away. So make sure you send fun things first. When the other seems to warm up to you, then you can go for the date.
This increases your chances of getting a ‘yes’!
That’s because you don’t know very much about the other:
- Is there a connection?
- Is he/she a fun person?
- Is this person a psycho or weirdo who’s going to stalk me?
A small side note about the first point:
If there isn’t any connection between you and her, it might be that you don’t know how to connect with girls in general.
In this case, you should read this article:
That may sound like an exaggeration, but women especially can quickly encounter complete crazies. So especially as a man, this tip is essential.
How you DO ask someone out on a date via WhatsApp will be explained in my article on that topic!
Tip #6: How to ask someone out via WhatsApp
Then, when you have the date, there is a way to not ruin it right away. Because a lot of guys have good intentions and get bad results.
A female friend once told me about a date a few years earlier.
A guy kept insisting on dating. He liked her. After months of begging, she agreed.
Just before the date, the chat went a bit like this:
That friend said he ruined the date before it even started. That’s because he didn’t take charge of the conversation; he left it up to her.
Bizarre! Because it was HIS idea to meet, so then it’s your responsibility to come up with something fun.
That’s why I’ve written an extensive article so you can get lots of inspiration. It gives you the best, original date ideas, and activities to do with the women you like:
Now probably the biggest hurdle for men when it comes to texting with a woman you like… The FIRST thing you write.
Tip #7: How to start texting on Instagram
Do you like a girl on Instagram, but you don’t know how to make contact?
Many men send terrible chats. Think of the typical conversation starter on Tinder, such as:
Hilarious, but also tragic.
Men often have exactly the same approach on Instagram. Ask an attractive friend if you can peek into her Instagram ‘other inbox’ (where messages come from people you don’t follow), and you’ll see the same things.
So what do you do then?
The first step is simple. You follow her account. When you do, you start looking at her stories.
From now on, it’s simple. You wait until the right moment arrives.
This nice woman posted something about a Slytherin starter pack in her story. A funny Harry Potter meme.
A participant of our Tinder expert responded:
He sends. No ass-kissing or sucking up. He fires right back at her.
And she reacts, she teases back with a funny emoji, and that’s everything you need to get the conversation started!
Now that’s how you get a girl to like you over text from the start.
That’s called teasing, my friend.
Teasing is a subtle art. But when you acquire that skill, your interactions with women suddenly become more fun and powerful.
Here’s a full article about how to tease a woman the right way:
Tip #8: What do you send for a fun conversation?
Both in real-life conversations and online conversations, I keep noticing the same mistake.
I’ve been a dating coach for 10+ years, and you have to be completely stupid not to recognize certain patterns.
One of those patterns is that people are too careful in their conversations.
You keep thinking things like:
That’s how your brain keeps running in circles.
If you overthink every message, your messages may come across as very filtered. That often makes them too boring. While your unfiltered self is your true authentic self, EXAGGERATE who you are, rather than holding yourself back.
Exaggerating does not mean acting like an asshole.
What I mean is: don’t make your messages so boring and dry.
I was on a plane after visiting one of my girlfriends in Stockholm. (I’m not that monogamous).
There I was in a 3-seater, with no neighbors. Lovely space for myself on the plane.
I could have said:
But that’s pretty boring.
So exaggerate your messages sometimes! People like to see more emotion in what you send.
And then I respond:
By typing the word “heavenly” and “uggg” the message already gets more emotional.
She also reacts in a funny way, by saying:
To which I respond with:
Usually, I don’t use many emojis; men often use them too much and too superfluously. But sometimes they are fun and give your crazy messages more emotional charge, just like above with all the explosions and biceps.
You can see that she likes it and keeps reacting positively.
If you get a girl’s number, perhaps you’re wondering how much time you should wait to send her a message.
Some people say three days. That’s way too much. I covered this topic in this article, check it out:
Tip #9: What do you send if the other fails to react?
Unfortunately, this is a painful problem that you will have to deal with sooner or later. Suddenly, she stops reacting.
Especially when you like someone too much, and you start texting too much, this can suddenly stop the conversation.
That’s why I made special technique for this with example messages as a solution for someone who doesn’t react anymore.
You will find it in my free 5 texting tips. Get them here.
What’s also possible is that she still responds, but responds very curtly. That’s an entirely different problem, and you need to deal with it differently.
Tip #10: Best text to send a girl you like when she cancels the date
So you sent these nice things to that one nice person, but now it doesn’t seem to work after all.
For example, you ask her if she would like to have a drink on Thursday or Saturday, but then she says something like, “Oh no, then I can’t.”
Annoying. What’s next?
Isn’t she interested? Or doesn’t she have time?
Luckily, one of our flirting coaches has come up with a solution for you.
It’s so simple and wonderfully effective:
It can be as simple as that. Immediately she comes up with 4 times when she can actually meet up.
What is very important is that you keep the tone of the conversation fun. A lot of people interpret things negatively. They think “I can’t” means “I don’t want to see you.”
That’s what we call ‘assuming negative intentions’, where for example, you’re on a date with a yawning woman, and you think “oh, she thinks I’m boring,” while the reality is that she barely slept that night.
Maybe she barely slept because she was so nervous before the first date, thus proving the opposite of your assumption!
Always watch what assumptions you make about people, especially if they are negative in nature. That is why it is so important to stay light-hearted in your messages, like in the example above.
So the next time you’re chatting with a girl you like. And you think: “how to get here to like me over text?” Stay positive.
Kickstarting a rich online dating life
Do you want a girlfriend, or do you want to date several women for a while? All of that is possible.
As a dating coach, I’ve seen a lot of men achieve this success. Almost daily I receive stories from ex-bootcamp participants.
That’s great to read, of course. That’s why we started AttractionGym because we give advice that really works.
Of course, there’s no success without taking action. Otherwise, the best tips in the world won’t help.
Now you know how to text a girl you like.
To easily start getting better at flirting and seduction, I’ve have created the Transformation Kit for you. This dating kickstarter includes 12 opening lines that hook her immediately, plus the principles behind meeting every woman successfully. Apart from that texting tips that will end up filling your agenda with dates. And the principles behind escaping and avoiding the Friendzone. Just follow 5 steps to get out and never return.
The Transformation Kit is completely free. You can find it below to download.
I wish you good luck, rock on.
Dan de Ram