How to Tinder: The Ultimate Beginner’s Guide in 2020

Congratulations, you just came across the best Tinder guide on the internet.

In this article, you’ll find the best and most effective tips that I, as a Tinder/dating coach, have come up with after a decade of intensive coaching.

What you’re guaranteed to learn in this article:

  • How to create the best Tinder pictures: The James Bond photo trick that makes you look 10 times more attractive
  • The right profile text and how to make it your secret weapon
  • What to say on Tinder; The Tinder opener that almost always works
  • The TCH principle, which is extremely attractive
  • How to effortlessly stand out from other men and get her number fast
  • And much more tips how to get girls on Tinder…

By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?

You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.

Tip #1: The right Tinder profile picture

Tinder is and remains a superficial platform. You judge another person 90% only by her pictures.

So, it’s up to you to make sure you’re an attractive piece of meat. But don’t worry, you don’t have to make it your business to find out which photos make you look attractive. I’ve done that job for you.

Over the last few years, I’ve been looking for scientific knowledge, read dozens of articles and tested all kinds of photos to find out once and for all which images generate the most matches.

Do you want to learn more about how to pimp your profile?

Then read this article and get more foolproof Tinder profile tips.

“To smile or not to smile?”

OkCupid, one of the biggest international online dating portals, has conducted an extensive study to determine which photos work best.

Many men choose a typical application photo: They look into the camera and smile. Sounds logical, doesn’t it?

The study (and my experience) clearly shows that a man who neither looks nor smiles into the camera is much more attractive to women.

Isn’t that surprising?

The most attractive photo you get is the James Bond look:

  • Look away from the camera.
  • Don’t smile.
  • Tense your facial muscles so that your eyes are slightly scrunched and minimal pressure is exerted by your jaw.

What your pictures should substantiate

As soon as a woman likes your first picture, she usually swipes through the rest of yours. It’s your mission to seduce her with memorable photos.

Before you choose your pictures, you should ask yourself the following question: What kind of man would a woman date? What qualities does this man have?

And then think about how you can show through your photos that you’re exactly that kind of man.

Typical characteristics are:

So, choose pictures that show you in a physical activity, in a social situation or playing the guitar (a timeless classic;)).

A clever hack to show masculinity is to use a photo that shows you in a leader role: other people listening and/or following you. This is the case, for example, in a presentation.

Pictures that you shouldn’t use under any circumstances (a shockingly high number of men make this mistake regularly) are…

  • You and your freshly caught fish (I know you’re proud, but send this picture to your bros instead)
  • Naked upper body (unless you look like Magic Mike and are in action)
  • Bathroom-mirror-selfies
  • Photos that you cut your ex-girlfriend out of

>> 14 Tips To Turn The Tables – How to Make Her Chase You.

Tip #2: A profile text that triggers her curiosity

Under your pictures there’s such a stupid field, which is meant for a description of you. Totally useless, right?


Of course, your pictures are 90% responsible for whether women give you a green heart or a red “X”.

But if she’s not sure, your description can make all the difference. And a miserable profile text can indeed be the reason why, despite your good pictures, she condemns you with an icy swipe to the left.

It’s recommended that you sit on your butt and think about it for a moment.

Another advantage of a sparkling profile text is that it serves women as a kind of guide on how to text you (if your description is amazing, women do it damn often). This may come as a shock to you, but women also find it difficult to have interesting conversations.

Does it make her smile?

The goal in almost all communication with women is to trigger emotions in her.

Most men find this difficult and they want to have a rational conversation.

For women, on the other hand, almost all conversations revolve around the emotions behind them.

This is her life elixir and her interest radar:

What kind of emotions and feelings does he trigger in me?

You must let a woman feel all emotions except boredom.

But enough deep shit; in concrete terms this means: Ask yourself whether your profile text makes her smile. If not, change it. If so, test it in practice.

A standard description of who you are and what you do isn’t advisable!

Here are three examples of attention-grabbing profile texts that have passed my tough practical test with flying colors:

I’m on Tinder to rip your clothes off and press you against a wall.
…I meant of course *I’m on Tinder to find true love.

Fucking autocorrection!


Charming asshole with small penis, but huge heart. Currently residing in [insert city where you live]


– Fulltime job and I’m loving it
– Can probably make better sandwiches than you
– Honest and upfront
– Never been addicted to crack
– Love singing in the shower (wait… maybe that’s a pro!)
– Not Ryan Gosling

Admit it, you had to smile!

Make sure you use something that suits you. I just love being shameless. I’ve no problem scaring off boring women and am just a loveable scumbag.

>> Texting Etiquette 2020: 7 Golden Rules to Win Her Heart.

If a woman likes your description, she will often actually text you!

Tip #3: An irresistible opener

A few weeks ago, I spoke to one of our coaching students and he asked me: “I’ve been on Tinder for a few months now, but this app is a bit lifeless; do you agree?”

I look at him with a raised eyebrow and ask him why he thinks that. He pulls his smartphone out of his pocket, opens Tinder and parks it right under my nose.

“Look! All these matches, but nobody responded to my first message.”

What I see on his screen triggers two desires in me that I had to contain… Facepalms and laughing out loud. Because all his messages looked like this:

  • Hello!
  • Hey, how are you doing?
  • Nice pictures.

Oh dear!

If you realize after reading this article that a “Hey” isn’t the most effective opening line on Tinder, then I can die in peace.

Let’s change perspective for a moment to make it clear why these messages don’t work. This is where women have tried to start a conversation with me.

How’s that coming across? How does that make you feel?

Doesn’t that seem pretty needy and boring?

Of course, it may be that her next message is much more exciting, but in any case, it makes her less interesting from the start.

So now imagine a woman being contacted by 99% of men with a message like that…

I think that’s settled now. Now we come to the formula for flirting effectively on Tinder.

How to chat on Tinder: The essential TCH principle that changes everything

As we discussed, you should always trigger emotions. Does your first message make her smile?

Men often tend to pretend to be “gay best friends” and compliment her or seek common interests.

Attraction can only come from TENSION that you create. And not by removing any tension!

It wasn’t uncommon for a woman to meet me even though she knew NOTHING about me. For the simple reason that she was attracted to me.

And you can achieve that too – by flirting.

Admittedly, I’m a little disgusted by the word “flirt” because most people have absolutely no idea what it really means.

Let me give you a mnemonic so you never forget to flirt:

The essential TCH principle:

  • T ease
  • C hallenge
  • H umor

Any conversation in which you make sure that everything you say falls under one of these categories is a successful conversation.

Let’s look at the TCH principle in practice. If you make a funny remark about her profile (pictures and/or description) or tease her playfully when you first post, it makes it almost impossible for her not to answer.

>> How to Tease Women – 7 Ways She Actually Likes + 11 Examples.

However, sometimes her profile doesn’t give you anything, but don’t let that intimidate you. Then you’ll just have to make sure that your first message is attention-grabbing:

Comments about her appearance

What you should not do is make remarks about how sexy you think she is or how great she looks.

Obviously, superficiality is the main reason why a match on Tinder happens in the first place, but you shouldn’t take that into the conversation.

Furthermore, you should challenge yourself to be different from all other men.

What is very effective is a specific remark about her appearance combined with a playful challenge:

Tip #4: Conversation techniques to make her addicted to you (How to Tinder chat)

As you can see in the screenshots above, every conversation has its own vibe. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes more challenging and flirty, and sometimes dominant.

Be aware that I didn’t say, “friendly.” You should never, ever, ever be friendly!

Friendly guys really dry women out, if you know what I mean.


One of the biggest deadly sins in dating, which ensures with astonishing certainty that she will never want to go on a date with you, is neediness.

Fortunately, on Tinder or WhatsApp, you have the advantage of having time to think about what you say and how you’re likely to come across.

Neediness means that you absolutely want her, actually look up to her and find everything she says or does great.

If you consciously put some distance between yourself and what she says, look at it critically and tease her, you turn the tables.

An easy way to look needless is to leave out everything superfluous in your messages:

  • No exclamation marks
  • No question marks behind questions
  • Fewer emojis (only use them when it’s absolutely necessary to get the message across – for example when you tease her)

>> 11 Subtle Ways to Seduce a Woman Without Being Creepy.

Tip #5: A simple hack to get her number

I often get asked:

When should I ask for her number?”

My answer: As soon as possible.

If you move the conversation to WhatsApp for example, you’ll have taken a decisive step forward. You’re not just any Tinder match, but suddenly a real person in her contacts.

How do you know when she’s ready to give you her number? The key to success here isn’t to ask her about an emotional low point, but to look for one of those moments when that’s the case:

  • She invests in the conversation
  • She thinks something is great and therefore has to laugh (emotional high point)
  • She’s just been writing a lot and you haven’t responded yet

The latter is clever. When she’s texted a lot, she expects an answer.

If you do well now, you can get her number fast.

Ask her this question, for example:

What are your three biggest wishes in life?

After she responds with a big piece of text, your answer is:

Let’s continue this conversation on WhatsApp. [insert your number]

There’s one thing that makes a huge difference when you want her number. Pay attention to the exact wording of the heading of this section. It says: “get her number,” not “ask for her number.”


Instead, casually throw in a comment like I mentioned above.

This isn’t only a question of what makes you more virile and confident. Another advantage is that she literally can’t say no.

>>Ultimate First Date Guide for Men (21 Tips That Work).

Tip #6: Make Tinder your #1 travel-buddy

Whether you travel around Europe or explore foreign territories, Tinder is your best friend. Since you’re in fact only for a short time at a certain place, you can and should use this to your advantage.

By the way: If she’s a tourist instead and only temporarily in the area, you can use exactly the same hack.

With a little dominance and confidence, you can get a date in record time, because she knows this is her only chance to meet you.

And in case you don’t know it yet: Women have a weakness for direct men who don’t beat around the bush.

Tip #7: Tinder tips for men from a dating coach that make the difference

Your questions how to Tinder has been hit out of the ballpark with this guide.

Still there is a lot more to discover about the vast world of online dating.

Since there is still a long way to go, think of:

  • Keeping the chat conversation flowing
  • Actually getting girls on dates
  • Dating them successfully

I have created for you my free Transformation Kit.

It consists of my best flirting advice, conversation techniques and more than 20 lines you can simply use online and offline in your encounters with women.

Apart from that I have included some extra bonuses I’m sure you can get huge value from.

Just have a look inside by clicking the button below. It’s free, so why not.

See you there.

Your bro,
Dan de Ram

Stop awkward conversations
and painful rejections

My free Transformation Kit will make you irresistible to women.

  • 12 Opening Lines that Actually Work
  • 5 Date Generating Texting Tips (Plus Copy-Paste Lines for Tinder)
  • The Friendzone Escape-Room Trick
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