You know the feeling: You’re having a conversation with some people at a party, or with a girl on a date, and you have absolutely no idea what to talk about.
Everyone seems to be having a good time, but you’re not. You stand there, awkward, thinking “I don’t know what to talk about…”
After reading this article, you’ll never be in this situation ever again.
It’s time you learn how to keep a conversation going.
- What to say when you don’t know what to say: 10 Practical Tips
- Conversation techniques that will blow any girl away
- Compliments examples that make any girl melt
- Speech skills that would make anyone more charismatic
- Examples of things to say to keep a conversation going
- WhatsApp conversation tips (+ 2 examples!)
- And a lot more…
By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
Tip #1: I don’t know what to talk about on a date
Anyone who went on a Tinder date probably knows the following scenario:
You’re in a cafe with a girl you barely know.
You spend the first 15 minutes asking each other about your job, your studies, and then…
The conversation slowly dies. Here comes an incredibly awkward silence.
You start to fidget nervously. And you think:
So you say nothing and take a sip of your drink.
See here a clip of the most famous uncomfortable silence in Hollywood:
Mia Wallace (the lady with the black hair in Pulp Fiction, played by Uma Thurman) says:
I couldn’t agree more.
I get it, though. On a date, if you don’t talk, you won’t be able to get to know each other.
But here’s the first lesson of this article:
Silences don’t have to be awkward.
Only the silences that grow out of fear are uncomfortable: The fear of not being able to keep the conversation going.
You’re talking to someone, and all you can think about is:
- “I hope this question holds up for a few more minutes…”
- “Oh, sh*t, her answer was much shorter than expected. Quick, find something else to say!”
- “Shit. I’m running out of questions… I don’t know what to talk about now! “
Avoiding awkwardness: that’s all you can focus on.
That sucks, man.
A conversation is about stimulating emotions and getting to know each other.
Sit back, relax and have fun: That’s what you’re going to learn in the following tips.
Sometimes, you’re on a date with a shy/quiet girl who barely talks at all.
There’s a trick you can use to make her do the talking. Read about it here:
Tip #2: Things to say to keep a conversation going
When you’re on a date, what do you usually talk about?
Her hobbies? Her studies? Her work?
Well… Good thing you’re reading this article.
Because you want to avoid these everyday topics as much as possible.
Of course, you can’t stop a woman from asking you boring questions like:
Let’s say a girl ask you this question. How do you turn the situation around and answer it in a cool way?
By using it as an opportunity to have fun.
American talk shows are a great example of how you can do that.
Watch the following video to see how those two comedians turn the most boring topics into the silliest jokes.
Interviewer: “Have you been busy this summer?”
Will: “I’ve actually been doing a lot of surfing.”
Interviewer: “Really? Is that a lie?”
Mr. Ferrell answers that he’s not only telling the truth but that he’s so good at surfing that he can even surf with a llama on.
Is that bullsh*t? Of course it is. But it’s funny. And more importantly, it’s unexpected.
So make up crazy answers to boring questions.
Suppose a girl asks you:
Instead of answering the predictable truth, you can say:
The golden rule is to have fun.
Of course, if she keeps asking for a sincere answer, tell her the truth. Women like humor, but they don’t want to be dating a clown.
Tip #3: How to add emotions to a story
A lot of men squeeze every bit of emotion out of their anecdotes.
That’s a mistake.
You should always put more emotions in your stories.
This is how you connect on an emotional level with women (and people in general.)
When you tell a story, don’t be afraid to share details about your feelings and your thoughts.
Let’s take an example.
Say a boring guy is telling Little Red Riding Hood story. He says:
Wow, great story, man. Thank you. I just had goosebumps.
Now let’s adapt the same story and make it more interesting:
“Once upon a time, a little girl lived in a village on the border of a dark and scary forest.
One day, unfortunately, her grandmother got sick. She lived deep into the woods.
Driven by her love for her grandmother, she decided to overcome her fear.
Dressed in a red cap and with a picnic basket under her arm, she stepped into the dark forest…”
You got the idea.
Her reaction (if she lives under a rock and never heard of Little Red Riding Hood)
Tip #4: Don’t be a basic bro
Suppose she introduces herself as Robin.
Is your first impulse to answer “Hi, I’m Batman”?
Or she’s Australian and you scream right away “G’day mate” or “A dingo’s got my baby” ?
Then chances are you’re a basic bro.
In other words: An ordinary and predictable guy.
No worries, though. I’m a little basic myself.
When I meet a girl named Elliott, there’s a part of me who desperately wants to make an E.T. joke.
But I don’t.
Because every single guy she meets makes that same joke to her.
If you make this kind of predictable jokes, girls will lose interest for you in a second.
Now that you’re aware of this, let’s say you meet a girl whose name is Elliott.
Here’s what you should say:
Now you show understanding of her situation. You show that you’re socially smart. That’s very attractive (and rare!)
So, remember: if she’s studying psychology, don’t ask her to read your mind.
And don’t ask Victoria about her secret. Really. Just don’t.
Tip #5: Compliments that make women melt
Mark Twain once said:
He’s right. Compliments can be extremely powerful.
Being able to give compliments the right way will make you a more charismatic and attractive man.
Emphasize on “the right way”.
Because if you don’t know how to give compliments to women, you’ll have absolutely no success hitting on them.
Here’s a list of amazing compliments I’ve written for you:
Use these examples only if you mean it and, of course, if the compliment actually applies to her.
If she snorts when she laughs:
When you first see her body:
When you give a compliment, switch directly to a new topic. Otherwise, things can get a bit awkward.
“Your freckles are incredibly cute.”
“No, really. Very nice.”
“Yeah, you just said that.”
Tip #6: The DIY compliments kit
As a dating coach, I often see guys making the same mistake over and over:
Giving generic and predictable compliments to women.
Keep in mind that women (especially if they’re pretty) are used to receiving the same compliments over and over.
And the majority of the time, these compliments are based solely on physical appearance.
If you only give appearance-focused compliments to women, this implies that you think they’re nothing more than a face and a body.
Do you want to stand out from the majority of the men out there?
Then it all comes down to one word: details.
Pay attention to details when you give a compliment to a girl.
Don’t just say:
- [bullets-] “You’re very pretty!” [/bullets-]
- [bullets-] “You’ve got nice boots!” [/bullets-]
- [bullets+] “You have a very elegant style. You remind me of [something specific].” [/bullets+]
- [bullets+] “Your boots go perfectly with your scarf” [/bullets+]
Now, there’s a lot more to say about this.
I wrote a step-by-step compliment guide, check it out here:
Bonus tip: I don’t know what to say to my girlfriend
If you’re in a relationship, there are certain things you can say to your girlfriend to make her happy.
As discussed in the previous tip, a woman wants a man who chooses her for her inner self, not just her appearance.
So remind your girlfriend of her beautiful inner qualities.
Here are some examples of things you can say:
- “You’re such a good listener”
- “You’re my favorite person to talk to”
- “I love the way your mind works”
- “Your passion is contagious“
- “I really admire you“
These compliments will make your girlfriend (and any girl) melt, 100% guaranteed.
Tip #7: Things to say to keep an online conversation going (WhatsApp, Tinder)
I’m sure you’ve been in this situation before.
You’re texting a beautiful girl on WhatsApp or a dating app.
You send her a text and all she replies is:
But no worries, chances are if she didn’t like you, she wouldn’t reply anything.
Why would she reply such a cold and short message then?
- She has a different sense of humor, or
- Your messages do not stir up her emotions enough (in other words: you’re a boring texter)
If you don’t have the same sense of humor, you should let her go. You can’t have good chemistry with everyone. C’est la vie.
But maybe your text messages are too boring.
The thing is, when talking a girl, you want her to feel everything but boredom.
So how do you avoid boring text conversations?
By using the TCH method:
The TCH method is the best way to bring emotions into a conversation.
If you want to stimulate the conversation, you should always tease and challenge.
Look at this example here:
Research has shown that you can use humor to improve your social and interpersonal relationships.
There’s no rules about this. Make a joke, send a fun meme or tell a funny story.
So the next time the conversation is dying, take a deep breath and ask yourself:
Now, perhaps you haven’t mastered the subtle art of teasing yet.
I got you. There’s a full article on teasing right here:
Tip #8: Things to ask to keep a conversation going (in real life)
As we discussed earlier, when you’re talking to a girl, the most important rule is:
Avoid boring conversations.
Trust me, this is easier than you think.
Did you know that there are somewhere in the range of 8×10^67 ways to sort a deck of cards? That’s an 8 followed by 67 zeros.
Well, the same goes with conversations: The possibilities are endless.
For example, when you don’t know what to talk about with a girl, ask her ‘Would you rather’ questions.
Too silly? That’s the point, man.
Girls rarely hear such crazy, fun questions.
And the sillier your question is, the more it will encourage her to participate.
Once she has made her choice, simply ask her why.
Without you even noticing, you’ll be having a fun conversation with that girl.
Need more examples of original questions? What about 145?
There you go:
Tip #9: Stop talking about yourself in conversations
Now here’s a brilliant way to build a strong connection with any girl.
Ever noticed how almost everybody is always talking about themselves?
Science says that people spend about 60% of conversations talking about themselves.
Next time you go out and meet new people, see how many of the people you talk to try to level up each person in the conversation to tell a better or funnier story.
Same goes with dates.
Chances are, when you’re on a date with a girl and you want to impress her, all you do is talking about yourself. And when it’s her turn to talk, you’re not listening properly because you’re thinking of what to say next.
Next time you’re talking to a girl, try to talk less about yourself and listen more about she has to say.
A few things will happen:
- You’ll stop trying to think of what to say next and listen
- She’ll feel you’re interested in her
- You’ll be able to connect with her on a deeper level
There are other ways you can connect with a woman to make any conversation memorable.
I wrote a full article about this, check it out here:
Let’s take a concrete example.
Suppose she says:
The Average Andy would immediately respond:
Chill out, bro.
First, almost everybody loves to travel. On top of that, your answer doesn’t give her an opportunity to keep talking.
Not only does this help keep the conversation going, but it also displays leadership, which is one of the 11 things women find attractive in men.
What are the other 10 attractive traits, you say?
Right here, my friend:
Tip #10: Statements versus questions
When you’re running out of things to say in a conversation, often you’ll be tempted to ask questions to fill in the silence.
Are you still with me? Good, because I almost fell asleep.
There’s a simple way you can avoid having these kinds of boring conversations:
Turn your questions into statements.
For example, instead of saying:
- [bullets-] “Do you like animals?” [/bullets-]
- [bullets+] “You seem like a girl who loves animals” [/bullets+]
Not only does it encourage her to talk about herself, but it also shows you’re interested in what she has to say.
This is a great way to get a conversation going.
Take things to the next level
If you apply the tips in this article, this sentence already belongs in the past.
That’s great. But how do you go about applying them?
Meeting more women and having more dates, my friend. Experience is the best teacher.
If you want to start dating more girls right away, I’ve got something really cool for you: The Transformation Kit.
It’s a toolkit to start dating right away.
It includes everything you need to know about becoming an attractive man.
- The best opening lines to get her hooked
- How to get out of the friendzone and be her lover
- Steal my lines for more entertaining conversations online and offline
- Step-by-step instructions for attracting women
- And much more…
You can find it all in my Transformation Kit.
Dan de Ram