American writer Henry Louis Mencken once said, “Love is like war: easy to start, but very hard to stop.”
And it’s true… It is sometimes hard to realize that love can also have a dark side.
That will become completely clear when you experience impossible love.
Maybe you are in love with someone who is already in a relationship…
Or maybe the love you feel is not mutual…
Whatever the reason, with the 7 tips in this article I am going to help you let go, process, and forget your impossible love.
- #1: Avoid this
- #2: Use this phrase
- #3: Inject some realism
- #4: Do this to let go of impossible love
- #5: Learn from Stevie Wonder
- #6: Use this 3-step plan
- #7: Forget about your impossible love
- #8: Spend time with other women
- #9: Become an impossible love yourself
- The first step to becoming an impossible love yourself
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After reading this article you’ll know how to release yourselves from the chains of impossible love.
#1: Avoid this
When faced with impossible love, there are two mistakes you NEVER want to make.
Yet these are the two mistakes I see men fall for time and time again.
To start, I am going to share these mistakes with you.
This is what many men do:
1: They get stuck in the situation without taking any action
This is the lesser of the two… This mistake involves fantasizing about her, thinking about her all day, or waiting for her to be available.
And don’t get me wrong bro … If you love her, then it makes perfect sense she is on your mind a lot.
However, this way, you are left with your head stuck in a fantasy that cannot possibly become the truth.
It is therefore impossible to make yourself happy with this.
This will come to nothing but a waste of your time.
2: They try to force her to be with them or stay with them
I recently saw this happen to a dude who emailed me for advice.
He had met a nice woman at the club and had gone on a date with her once.
In the mail I received screenshots of WhatsApp messages in which he gives lengths of text to argue why they still have to meet.
That while she explains at least three times with an almost as long text that she no longer wants to go on a date.
Therefore, it was inevitable that this would turn out to be quarrels and frustration.
When dealing with impossible love, you never want to force a date.
And you certainly don’t want to argue it in a four-sided essay.
But how do you fix these destructive errors?
The sacred phrase in the next tip will give the first answer to that.
#2: Use this phrase
Look, many men cling to a woman very much, and when it doesn’t work, they force themselves to keep her with them.
And that is quite understandable…
When you feel love for a woman, you want nothing more than to be with her.
Still, it can’t work if you pull on her.
This has to do with the following law of attraction:
In the next video I will give you three other reasons how you might be screwing up the attraction:
You need a new mindset to prevent yourself from forcing her to stay.
And there is one sentence that sums up this mindset well.
This is the sacred phrase you want to tattoo in your brain:
“I like you, but I don’t need you.”
You want to apply the phrase to every woman immediately.
Because the less you depend on her, the more likely she will be attracted to you.
And when you’re dealing with impossible love, this is the phrase you want to say every morning when you get out of bed.
That’s the way to make it your default mindset.
And this mindset is the first step to letting go of impossible love.
#3: Inject some realism
It sucks if you want someone, but it’s impossible to get anything with her.
Therefore, if it is the case that you are continuously stuck with impossible love in your head, I will give you a question to ask yourself…
It helps if you apply a healthy dose of realism to the situation, no matter how harsh that sounds.
Because when you’re dealing with impossible love, there is a good chance it will cloud your judgment.
You want to be with her so badly that you do everything you can to make it happen.
And in your head, you make it all much bigger than it is.
So this is the question you want to ask yourself:
“Do I want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me?”
Love is not always predestined and does not always work. When you feel love for someone, you want that other person to feel the same for you.
And if not, is that person worth being with you?
Are you not worth looking for someone who DOES want to be with you?
#4: Do this to let go of impossible love
Okay, we have unleashed a healthy dose of realism on impossible love.
I will give you the easiest and howeve rmost challenging tip now.
It is the most important and annoying tip of all.
And yet I can’t shield you from it.
You may have guessed it already:
Cut contact completely.
This is a difficult step, and we prefer to postpone it as long as possible…
After all, it goes directly against your intuition.
When you love someone, you want nothing more than to be with that person.
At the same time, breaking contact is the only thing you can do when love is impossible.
This works the same as with smoking.
You can not get rid of a smoking addiction if you keep lighting a cigarette every day.
Radical stopping is the only way.
#5: Learn from Stevie Wonder
For the next tip I called on Stevie Wonder…
His song ‘ Superstition ‘ teaches an important lesson to solve impossible love.
He sings: ‘When you believe in things that you don’t understand, then you suffer.’
And that ‘suffering’ through ‘superstition’ is also what often happens with impossible love…
Because even though you may know that it is better to let go of your impossible love, there is a high chance that you will develop gloom or even fears…
Fears are based on the superstitions you create in your head.
Even when you haven’t had contact with your impossible love for a while.
Here are a few:
- The fear that your impossible love will get someone else
- The fear that you will never find ‘the one’ yourself.
- The fear of being alone forever.
- The fear that you will never be truly happy.
If any fear applies to you, ask yourself:
How real are these fears?
Let me tell you something: they are not real.
The reality is that these doomsday scenarios do not exist.
The only place they live in is your head.
But how do you deal with these thoughts?
I have a step-by-step plan for you, which I will give you in the next tip.
#6: Use this 3-step plan
So far so good.
You have the right mindset in your arsenal and have viewed the situation with a healthy dose of realism.
But how do you finally get rid of negative feelings about impossible love…
And how do you ensure that you end up in a flow of positivity …
When faced with adversity, most people take the wrong turn because they put themselves in a negative spiral of thought in two steps.
A spiral from which it is impossible to get out.
That looks like this:
Step 1: Naming the setback.
- “She doesn’t want to meet up with me anymore.”
- “She’s ignoring me.”
Step 2: Makeup arguments about why you are having a hard time.
- “I’ve never been granted it in love either.”
- “How am I ever going to find a nicer girl.”
And hop, the endless negative spiral of thought is a fact.
While everyone knows that these two steps will never help you, this is precisely what most people do.
That’s why I am going to give you an alternative…
In the situation of impossible love, there are ALWAYS two things you can do.
Here are your options.
OR you look at it positively:
- “I am glad I am no longer under her love spell and can think clearly.”
- “I now have more time to spend with my friends and family who want to see me.”
OR you pour your negative thought into the following 3-step plan:
Step 1: Naming the setback
- “She’s ignoring me.”
Step 2: Take responsibility.
- “Maybe I was too pushy.”
Step 3: Find the lesson
- “I’m going to get better at hitting on ladies over chat.”
Skyrocket your chatting skills with the following article:
Another example for you…
Step 1: Naming the setback
- ‘The relationship with her is hopeless.’
Step 2: Taking responsibility
- “Maybe I’m holding onto one woman too much.”
Step 3: Find the lesson
- “I’m going to work on myself to get a better wife.”
Become Olympic Flirting Champion with the following article:
You ALWAYS have the opportunity to see the positive or find the lesson. You limit yourself unnecessarily with negativity.
You even infect others with your negativity, research shows.
#7: Forget about your impossible love
All right , buddy, if you’ve managed to turn all the negatives into a positive, now’s the time to get some fresh air.
Instead of mindsets and spirals of thought, I will give you a simple practical tip that you can use to let go and forget about your impossible love.
And while this tip is simple, I see that people often forget it.
Many people quickly isolate themselves because what many people do when they have an impossible love quickly isolate themselves…
They watch TV, hang out on the couch, or sit on their phone for hours…
And these ‘escape routes’ have a major drawback:
The moment you do them, they take you out of your negative mood …
But as soon as you stop taking it, you almost immediately end up in a negative mood.
That’s because these escape routes don’t give you what you need. So what do you need?
In other words, activities that are not only fun to do at the moment but that will keep you happy for a few days.
Here are a few:
- Chilling with friends
- Reading a book
- Find a way to stretch your comfort zone
- A game of soccer
- Drinking coffee with a good friend
Now I can not decide for you what you like.
It works even better if you make your list.
#8: Spend time with other women
When faced with impossible love, men very often have a destructive thought:
They think they have failed in love.
Because the fairy tale with that one woman did not have a happy ending, they think they are a loser.
However, that is the opposite of the truth.
The truth is that everyone sometimes encounters the fact that it doesn’t work in love.
It can’t always be right.
For that reason, you want to do the following:
Go meet new women to prove yourself wrong.
As soon as you start hunting again and you don’t give up after a few failed attempts, you automatically start thinking:
“Wait a minute… It wasn’t too bad. I’m on fire !’
To be able to say the latter, the last tip I’m going to give you is crucial.
#9: Become an impossible love yourself
Mindset : Check.
Positive spiral of thought: Check.
You have one more thing to do to leave your impossible love behind.
Look, I can not exactly know what the situation is you are in right now.
Still, chances are you’re reading this article because you have someone you love but can not be with.
That means that she is the impossible love you will have to distance yourself from.
However, if you want to be completely released from the limitations of your impossible love, this is your next step:
Become an impossible love.
I mean that you want to do the opposite of what most men do.
They leave everything, remain in a negative thought spiral, and go from one impossible love to another.
You want to do things differently…
You want to fix yourself so hard that you become an impossible love.
Hack yourself so hard and keep doing it for so long that you have to say to women:
“Sorry, I don’t have time. 7 other women want to see me this week.”
You don’t have to say that literally, but you know what I mean.
Working hard on yourself is ultimately the best way to leave an impossible love behind completely.
The first step to becoming an impossible love yourself
To give you the first step, I made the Transformation Kit.
The name says it all. This is the first step towards becoming the impossible love.
And it’s completely free.
Check it out below.
From you brother,
Dan de Ram