This situation is probably familiar to you:
You’re in a club at night and have a conversation with an attractive lady.
You have a great time and feel a strong connection with each other.
When you ask her if she wants to go out for a drink with you the next days, she answers yes enthusiastically and you exchange numbers.
Everything looks like rose petals and candlelight…
… until you send her a text that remains unanswered to this day.
Or maybe she responded, but your text conversation only had a weak vibe.
Your text conversation was just a shadow of your former phenomenal conversation at the club.
How could you have prevented this?
You’ll learn this today beside these topics:
- The most promising method to get her on a date effortlessly.
- Instagram profile tips: How to attract dozens of women at the same time without even sending them a message.
- How to flirt on Instagram: How you make her crazy about you even though you’ve never met her.
- How to dm a girl on Instagram: How a coaching participant seduced a supermodel in three simple steps and how you can do the same.
- And many more Instagram dating tips…
By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
The Underestimated Power of an Instagram Profile
Today I’m going to show you how to use Instagram in the best possible way.
And if you haven’t used Instagram yet…
… why it should be the next app you download if you don’t want to miss dozens of beautiful women.
Now I know that there’s a chance that you’re a busy man who doesn’t have much time to maintain his social media profiles daily.
Or maybe you prefer to meet women in real life.
I understand completely.
But even if this is the case, you can benefit enormously from these tips.
Because the lessons I teach you today are more than just “Instagram dating tips.”
The underlying principles are universal and can be applied to any situation in which you deal with women.
So, fasten your seat belt – the plane towards Pimp town is ready for take-off.
Recently I received the following message in my inbox…
But now over text, the chemistry between us seem to be gone. Our conversation isn’t as fun as it used to be… how can I get her to go on a date now? Thanks in advance, Tom.”
But now over text, the chemistry between us seem to be gone.
Our conversation isn’t as fun as it used to be… how can I get her to go on a date now?
Thanks in advance, Tom.”
The situation Tom is in right now can be frustrating.
You’re about to go out with an interesting woman and yet a tiny – but decisive – step keeps you away from it.
But let me tell you something:
You’ve come to the right place.
Because today I’ll give you tips that have proven themselves in practice so that from now on, you can easily stay away from these dilemmas.
One of the most effective ways to do this, I’ll show you now:
Tip #1: Have crystal clear intentions
If you text a lady the next morning after you’ve met her, you should have the following goal:
Schedule the date.
If there’s already a deep connection between you, you can arrange it immediately.
In that case, nothing can go wrong.
But with many encounters, this is not the case, which is why I regularly receive mails like Tom’s.
Then what can you do?
It’s very simple:
Remind her of the vibe you had the last time you met.
Many men scare women away by sending dull messages like:
Or even worse…
They think that their chosen one doesn’t even remember them… even though their encounter took place in the last 24 hours:
Not because Tom is a terrible guy, but because his self-doubts are completely unjustified.
Women have a weakness for self-confident men.
Don’t get me wrong. Even the two cringey messages from my examples can work if the first interaction was solid.
However, they ELIMINATE your chances of getting a date rather than helping you.
Because they don’t trigger emotions in a woman (besides feeling the urge to vomit).
If in your first conversation you talked about how you accidentally hit a rabbit with a car recently and felt horrible… while she teased you about it, implement this insider in your first text.
If you teased her about how she once got lost in the woods while jogging, implement this inside joke in your first message.
If you’ve been talking about how you two would like to go skinny-dipping in the Mediterranean together, then… you know what to do…
Text her something like:
With messages like these, you remind her of the feelings you had in your first conversation and tie your text conversation to the same vibe.
When she reads your message, she realizes within seconds what cool dude you were.
The chances of a euphoric response thus increase by 69% (110% statistically accurate).
But there’s a strategy in place that will give you an even better chance…
The most EFFECTIVE way to get her excited about a date
Guess what, bro…
There’s a more efficient way to attract women to a rendezvous.
A way where you don’t have to waste a single thought on WhatsApp texts.
A method in which you trigger the interest of many women simultaneously and automatically.
What am I talking about?
For many men, it’s breaking news that this app is a kind of seduction cheat code.
Unlike my homeboy Yo Gotti, who is more than aware of the value of this secret tip.
I seen your girl post her BM (W)
So I hit her in her DM
All eyes, yeah I see ‘em
Yeah, that’s your man? I’d hate to be him (whoop)
It goes down in the DM (It go down)
It go down in the DM (It go down, it go down)
In the refrain, he raps proudly about how he slides into the DMs of a spicy Señorita. “DM” means “Direct Messages” or her Instagram inbox.
And he warbles “it goes down.” In other words: Yo Gotti has mastered his Instagram skills, seducing one woman at a time.
How does Instagram work?
You already know Instagram as the back of your hand? Then skip this part, amigo.
Instagram is a similarly simple social network platform like Facebook. The only difference is that you can only upload pictures and short videos.
Like Facebook, you can mark posts with a “Like,” comment on them and tag other users.
A special feature is the “message” function. Here you can send a private message to people (or as Yo Gotti would say: You can slide into someone’s DMs).
Here you see an example of an Instagram profile.
In this case:
The account of you ultimate bro – yes, I mean me.
On the screenshot on the top of my profile you can see the number of my posts, the number of my followers and the number of profiles I follow.
Below you see my profile text and directly below it my posts in chronological order.
With some profiles, you can see that so-called “highlights” are set.
If a user has posted them, you’ll see them in round bubbles below their profile picture.
Like Snapchat or Facebook, Instagram lets you create stories. So, take snapshots and put them on your profile.
Just like on Facebook or Snapchat, these remain available on your profile for 24 hours.
Afterward, you can put them as a highlight in your profile. They’ll be available for every visitor of your profile at any time (until you remove them).
Tip #2: Do this to set yourself apart from average Joe
There’s not much you can do on Instagram. This is also a huge advantage of the app.
Unlike other social platforms, it’s not about photos AND videos AND events AND groups AND third-rate in-app games.
You can only post pictures and videos – that’s it.
However, there’s one feature that countless men have grossly underestimated…
The caption – or description text that you can place under your pictures and videos.
Why is it so valuable?
Especially with pictures, it’s anything but easy to trigger multiple emotions in someone. They’re mostly one-dimensional.
Fortunately, however, our reliable wingman rushes to the emergency… the caption.
Here you can let your creativity run free and stand out from countless men with smart texts.
Because as you may have noticed, most people do the following:
- They copy third class “lines of wisdom,” which they’ve read on their grandmother’s calendar.
- They put a crummy emoji in the description (for example, if they upload a picture of them enjoying a beer, a beer emoji).
- They use run-off-the-mill captions, in which there’s no hint of personality (and write for example “Wanderlust” under a travel picture).
In this way, these hermanos leave a damn weak, unoriginal impression.
But you and me, bro, we don’t do that.
We stand out from the gray mass of miserable mediocrity.
By using an original caption that triggers emotions in the reader.
Captions like this one, for example:
This snapshot was taken while shooting a YouTube video – in my picture description, I pretend that I was on a date with this shapely statue and was touched by it much too early and without consent. What a scandal!
As you notice, when reading this caption in combination with my stupid look on the photo, you can’t help but smile at least.
This is exactly what you want to trigger with your photos.
Another example of a coaching colleague of mine.
In this video, he sings the Pokémon theme song with another coaching colleague in front of a sparsely visited karaoke bar.
But this post becomes extraordinarily brilliant only through its self-irony in the caption.
As you can see, he puts the video in a ridiculously funny context and tells a story about it.
He talks about how he once wanted to become a Pokémon trainer, but his plan failed…
As a result, he set his ambitions on forming a rock band that specialized in Pokémon songs.
At the end of his story, he tells how he was able to realize his dream after years of permanent setbacks and intense suffering:
In front of 8 (!) drunk people, he made his biggest performance so far.
The video is a snapshot of it.
The reactions to his creative effusion are nothing but super positive.
Not because he mentioned Pokémon in his description.
And no – not even because he sings in the video almost as talented as a sheep in a voice break.
Rather because he polarizes with his personality AND doesn’t take himself too seriously.
This way, his followers get a charismatic impression of him.
So, choose captions that make your readers feel something.
But make sure that you present yourself in an ATTRACTIVE light.
For example, include your sense of humor.
(If you want to learn what else women find extremely attractive; check out this article.)
Tip #3: How to exchange numbers smartly
I’ve already shown you what message you can send her after you’ve exchanged numbers.
However, in some cases, your interaction may have been too short to create a connection or an insider joke.
Because maybe you exchanged your numbers in a stressful situation.
For example, during the day when she was in a hurry to work.
And it’s at exactly these moments that you can IMMENSELY benefit from Instagram.
By saying something during the exchange of numbers like:
The “Stalker” part of course only works if there’s a positive vibe between the both of you and you’ve got a big smile on your face while saying that. On the other hand, if you come over a bit creepy, the last part can be a conversation killer… so she doesn’t show you her profile.
The “Stalker” part of course only works if there’s a positive vibe between the both of you and you’ve got a big smile on your face while saying that.
On the other hand, if you come over a bit creepy, the last part can be a conversation killer… so she doesn’t show you her profile.
Now you haven’t only exchanged your numbers, but also know your Instagram profiles.
And that makes a decisive difference.
In a normal number exchange, you must actively remind her of an insider joke/ a connection between the two of you.
And as you may have experienced, everything seemed to go smoothly during your conversation and your first message was great – and yet you may not have received a reply.
But with Instagram, you have the possibility to remind her of you not only actively but also PASSIVELY.
By either liking a profile picture of her or following her.
With both options, she’ll see your profile name and be able to view your pictures.
And trust me:
Women LOVE to find out things about interesting encounters.
They sniff through your Instagram account like they’re police dogs looking for drugs.
I can no longer count on my hands how many women (I know) know details about other people…
…even though they’ve never met them once in their lives.
I was partly on dates, where I told the ladies about past experiences.
Experiences that they already knew according to their body language.
Because they were most likely snooping around on my Instagram.
This is your chance to shine, brokowski.
Because if you have lots of pictures in your profile that show her what the attractive lifestyle you cultivate, she’ll be reminded again of the attractive man you are .
You ask yourself with which images you can suggest an “attractive lifestyle”?
In principle, you’ll succeed with photos that – similar to the caption – present you in an attractive light.
For example, with…
- Pictures where you pursue a passion of yours (such as climbing, drawing, playing guitar, soccer or whatever)
- Pictures from trips you’ve taken
- Pictures of you with your friends
- Pictures of you taken with a good (smartphone) camera
Tip #4: How you make her feel like you are soul mates
If you want to take a girl out on a date, but she cancels every time…
…then there’s a chance she’s not comfortable with you yet.
No woman on this planet wants to go out with a man she’s not sure about yet if he’s really after her for a date or just wants to murder her cold-bloodedly in a gutter.
To decide in your favor, she needs to have more confidence in you.
You’ve two options for this.
Either you write with her every day and get to know her better…
…or you can let Instagram do all the work for you.
If she has access to your profile, she can check out all your pictures.
However, she doesn’t do this every day (as long as she’s not a stalker).
And this is where the Instagram story comes in.
Instagram stories are temporary pictures or videos that disappear from your profile after 24 hours.
Other users can react to your story – but only you can read what they text you.
Here you see for example the profile of the NBA:
At the top left, you see a colored circle that goes around the avatar of the profile. This means that a story is currently set.
By tapping on the profile picture, the story will automatically appear on your screen:
Voilà – in the upper left corner, you can see when the picture/video was uploaded. Here I recognize “23h”, which means that the video has been online for 23 hours and will automatically disappear in an hour.
You can also see 19 transparent, slightly gray bars on the top of the video. This means that there are currently 19 pictures/videos added to the story.
Of course, the NBA uploads completely different stories than you should be posting.
One of the images I used for my story is this:
A picture in which I polarize with my humor.
By looking at someone’s story, you can find out exactly what that person is currently up to.
Now imagine yourself a woman who’s just recently given her number to a dude.
Some texts back and forth later, he invites you for a drink.
You’re not sure you should go out with him, though.
Because the last thing you want – is a weird date where you have to make excuses to escape the weirdness.
Well, what if you could check out the Instagram profile (or Snapchat or Facebook profile) of your date in advance?
After that, you would have much more information about your admirer, and you would know approximately how he ticks and how his life looks like.
And when he has an amazing profile, you’d probably be addicted to his Instagram posts and stories.
Tip #5: How you make her crazy about your life
If you upload fascinating stories and interesting pictures, you’ll notice that more people will keep following you.
In your stories, you can even see WHO was watching them.
It’s almost as if they’re following a reality TV series where they don’t want to miss an episode.
Only that your “episodes” are only available for 24 hours. Which makes it even more exciting for your followers.
And whenever you upload something new and the colorful circle around your profile picture appears, you create an emotional spike – you trigger curiosity in your followers.
You can let her share various emotions with many.
Better upload fewer, but more qualitative stories than dozens that are deadly boring. Because once you’re known for boring stories, you’ll lose more and more viewers.
What you’ll also notice, however, is that some are watching EVERY SINGLE of your stories.
And best of all, you can make dozens of women curious about you at the same time, WITHOUT having to text them all individually.
Little effort – maximum result.
She taps into your story and watches it. What she doesn’t know is whether you even have her on your radar.
Of course, you have to have exciting stories ready so that your ladies can have a look at each of your uploads.
Stories that are f*cking boring are these:
- The 82nd mirror selfie of you in front of your stained Ikea mirror.
- An uncommented photo of a beer or a cheese sandwich you hold in your hand.
- The gym selfie, on which you try with gritty teeth to flex every muscle as much as possible.
A great way to set yourself apart from the rest is to…
… to find your own theme.
TextGod Louis likes to upload extreme stories.
For example, he used to upload videos of him climbing naked on some buildings with some buddies, dancing wildly around; the boys’ schlongs occasionally giving the camera a smile.
He uploaded pictures that he found the funniest – but also most disturbing.
He had active stories where you’d think no one would date him after…
However, exactly the opposite was the case.
He seemed adventurous, spontaneous and self-confident to women.
A good friend of mine and one of our Dutch coaches Mathijs, for example, makes sure that each mail contains one of these three ingredients:
One of our assistants usually posts stories about how he works hard – with a combination of motivating images, productivity tips and random everyday stories.
What can be boring as f*ck for some, seems to be cursedly attractive for others.
He’s far from lacking dates.
Whichever stories you choose, give them your personal twist.
Flirting on Instagram: How to text a girl on Instagram (bonus tip)
Alrighty, Instagram can greatly enhance the trust and attraction between you and a woman you’ve shared contact information with .
But what if you become infatuated with a woman you’ve never met in person?
Yeah, you can get the ball rolling on Instagram.
And “coincidentally” today I brought a spicy example of how you do it.
One of my coaching participants is currently doing an excellent job of getting his dating life under control.
But now we’ve achieved something that many men only dream of…
He has discovered a woman on Tinder, whom you normally only meet in your wildest dreams.
He swiped to the right and…
Surprise… he DIDN’T get a match.
And like almost every model on Tinder, she linked her Instagram account on her Tinder profile.
Something which, by the way, I also recommend to you.
If you compare the Instagram profiles between our coaching participants, it becomes clear within milliseconds:
Him: A common Dude. Not a supermodel look. No millions in the bank account. No fame.
You: An angel on earth. Hotter than the earth’s core. Apparently makes a lot of money modeling internationally. Has legions of followers.
She’s the kind of woman you feel like you’d never have a chance with.
And yet it’s possible.
First, you go to her Instagram profile.
Then you make the right first step.
What you definitely shouldn’t do is text her something like:
“Marry me” – these heartrending proposals fly weekly into the DMs of this lady.
These “admirers” think that they increase their chances with her by telling her romantically that they want to stay with her forever.
With their needy messages, they probably hope for a response like this:
Dream on, boys, and grow up.
You’ll text her something more subtle, though.
But before I show you what you can text, look at this gentleman.
He may appear less creepy, but he behaves way too sweet.
I would like to thank him for the laugh I got from reading his text.
Nice try, amigo.
Of course, you can’t send her a message on Tinder unless she gives you a “like” too.
If you want to stand out from these spineless amigos, you’ll have to take a more tactical approach to your flirt.
Step #1: View her most recently uploaded photos and stories until you see something relevant to you.
My coaching participant looked for pictures on the profile of his chosen ones, which he could mark with a like (pictures that he really liked).
Step #2: React
Primarily you want to react in such a way that you stand out from the broad mass of reactions.
If you’re the twentieth person to react with a “nice picture” or “nice outfit,” you obviously won’t succeed.
So, it’s better to give some counter gas.
You want to challenge or tease her lightheartedly.
If you don’t see a photo or story that fascinates or interests you, don’t be afraid to WAIT.
If you force a reaction, there’s a high risk that your attempt will fail.
My coaching participant actually found a photo when looking through his lady’s profile, which he adored.
He liked it and funny enough she liked a picture of him a few hours afterward.
A few days later, she posted a new picture, which he then marked with a like as well, she did the same when he uploaded a new picture of himself.
His chosen one only liked pictures of HIM, not pictures of his dog – so she obviously didn’t think he was that bad.
As you can also see, reacting with a like on a photo was enough for my participant to be noticed by his lady – she liked back after all. (This is because he implemented every single tip I gave you so far extraordinarily).
If this hadn’t happened, I would have chosen a photo of her with my participant and reacted to it with a teasing comment.
Whatever. With him, it wasn’t necessary in this case.
Step #3: Slide into the DMs
In the third step, it’s time to move the conversation to your Instagram inbox.
Whether you can let her know how beautiful she’s and how much you would like to kiss her ass.
You stay original and lighthearted. At best, you tease her.
Counter gas, bro. Remember that.
And so, the conversation begins.
(Which, by the way, was followed by a romantic date, which was followed by a less romantic – rather sweaty date).
And that, my dear friend, is the best way to dm a girl on Instagram.
Instagram dating like a pro – Must-have texting tips
Now the world of Instagram dating is clear to you. The only thing remaining is dm-ing the lovely ladies you have an eye on.
Then continuing the conversation in a flirty vibe and get them out on a date.
That’s Instagram dating for you in a nutshell.
To help you out with the texting part, I’ve created a Texting Masterclass.
As part of my Transformation Kit you get the best texting advice I have to give as well as numerous copy-pastable lines you drop in your convos at any time. Be it Instagram or another app.
Not only that the Transformation Kit is perfect to boost your dating skills in the real world as well. Ranging from how to meet ladies, to having a flirty talk with them, to a crash course on how to date the dames you so desire.
See you on the other side!
Dan de Ram