Among all the women you’ve met so far, she stands out.
After years of searching, you might have found her:
Your Mrs. Right.
In this article I’ll show you:
- Why it’s a waste of time to look for the one
- Why you should NEVER put yourself under pressure while searching for suitable ‘girlfriend material’
- 5 Signs that tell you ‘is she the one?’
- How to make your love life succeed with a simple change of focus
- And much more…
Your dates have been fantastic, the sex is breath-taking, and you feel alive in her presence.
You’d passionately warble to Robbie William’s ‘She’s The One’ line by line.
But something is gnawing inside of you.
It gnaws so much that your euphoria begins to waver.
Self-doubt overcomes your whole mortal corpus.
Maybe she’s your first girlfriend and you’re unsure whether you should REALLY get involved with her.
Or, maybe you were betrayed in your last relationship and are afraid that the same tragedy might strike again…
When you see her through rose-colored glasses, you lack the ability to be decisive—
To watch, with all objectivity, if she REALLY is the one for you.
You engage with her—the first weeks or even months might be wonderful—until you discover sides of each other that cause your relationship to teeter and totter.
Au revoir love’s bliss, and bonjour stressful relationship…
Ultimately, you decide to end your relationship.
Blood, sweat, and tears are shed.
All that could have been spared if you had just recognized the signs of whether or not she was a good fit at the beginning of your relationship.
Stop, stop, stop, bro.
As of today, this scenario belongs to the past ONCE AND FOR ALL.
By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
True love: Myth unveiled
When the species of homo sapiens on our blue globe…
(dear flat-earthers, the earth is a sphere; end of discussion)
…talk about ‘the one,’ they often mean the following:
Often these words of encouragement are completed with this ode to love:
But these cheesy pep talks belong more appropriately in a fairy tale book than in the head of a clever adult man.
Why?
Let me open your eyes with two unbeatable arguments:
- That would mean that everything is predetermined. That’s bullshit, of course. A proactive man doesn’t wait for the permission of a higher authority, such as a flying spaghetti monster, to grab life by its balls.
- When you’re in love, your hormones fool you. You’re like a cocaine addict who can’t get enough of his partner’s love (as countless studies show). Negative qualities that will condemn your relationship to failure are no longer noticeable to you. Only after the feelings evaporate will you realize how terrible you actually are together.
Of course, I’m not saying you should try to maintain a strong and healthy relationship.
If you need some tips about it, check this article out:
>> 10 Tips to Have More Ups + Less Downs in Your Relationship
Why searching for the one is absolute nonsense
Have you ever thought about how stupid this concept sounds?
If you really want to find the right one, you’re facing a huge challenge (theoretically speaking):
There are currently over 3,740,000,000 women on our planet.
Somehow, I have the feeling that you may not have met all of them yet. No clue why I’m thinking that……
What if your actual ‘one’:
- Lives on some goat farm in Mozambique
- Just celebrated her second birthday yesterday
- Is incurably ill
- Is 29 years older than you…
Doesn’t sound like an extensive search for the one makes any sense…
But, before you shit your pants or lose your hope in unconditional love:
Look around at your circle of friends and acquaintances.
What do you notice?
Many couples, who may even be married by now, met
- In the same country
- In the same city
- In the same village
- At the same Whoopie Goldberg fan club
And even though the chance that they are THE perfect match for each other (at least according to our theory) is probably zero, they are, nevertheless, often very happy.
So, don’t panic.
Because if you do and continue eagerly looking for the ‘right one,’ the following can easily happen:
You put YOURSELF and EVERY woman you meet under an enormous amount of pressure.
At each of your ‘encounters,’ you check to see if she’s THE Mrs. Right you’ve been longing for.
And with that simple act, you put her in a box, doubting every single quality she expresses to you.
However, the only thing you’re doing with this ridiculous investigation is ELIMINATING any space for attraction between you.
Due to that pressure, she can’t relax during your dates, and she automatically becomes more withdrawn toward you.
And you? You put yourself under unnecessary performance pressure.
Because it’s so important to you that your dates run smoothly and go ‘just as planned,’ you nip all light-heartedness and playfulness in the bud.
If you block yourself to such an extent, it’s impossible to let your most attractive, self-confident, and authentic side shine through.
I couldn’t have formulated this question better. 😉
That’s exactly what we will clarify, *looks at wristwatch*, now.
How to know if she is the one test – 5 signs
Sign #1: She gives you her best
You go out? She wears the outfit you think looks so sexy on her.
You’re hungry? She goes to your favorite sushi bar even though she likes sushi less than Gargamel likes the Smurfs.
You have a stressful day at work? Whether it’s a massage, a bath, or your favorite chill activity, she always comes up with something to pamper you.
Your lady does her ultimate best for you.
But she doesn’t do that out of fear that she might lose you someday.
No.
She does it because she thinks you really deserve it, and she doesn’t expect anything in return.
Of course, you behave the same way—out of inspiration—because you feel she treats you purely out of true affection and not to manipulate you.
Well my friend, with such a lady, I think she is the one.
Sign #2: She doesn’t want to change you
You need some time for yourself?
She doesn’t resent you for not wanting to stick together 24/7.
On the contrary: She doesn’t need drama.
In your spare time, you passionately play recorder with your left nostril?
Maybe 99% of people around you think it’s weird (which wouldn’t really surprise me with this hobby), but she stands by you and doesn’t judge your quirks.
Even if you have strange interests, she accepts them fully.
Trying to change you?
Nope, that’s not what this lady is doing.
The exception:
Habits that are bad for you.
Maybe you have a weakness for sweets, and every day you eat a package of gummy bears.
However, your beloved wants you alive for the longest time possible, which is why your health is important to her.
But, she’s not a woman who points at you and shouts, ‘Go on a diet, you fat fuck!’
No, she shows solidarity and tries to diet together with you to motivate you to stay on your path. If she does that? Damn, she is right for you.
Now, it doesn’t mean you and your girlfriend are compatible.
If you want to make sure you belong together, read this article:
>> Are You and Your Girlfriend Compatible? Do This Relationship Test
Sign #3: She has a healthy psyche
- “People who take more than they give have no place in my close circle of friends.”
- “Honesty is the be-all and end-all for me in every situation in life.”
- “I don’t want to be surrounded by disrespectful people.”
No, these are not semi-wise quotations that 14-year-old teenage girls post under their mirror selfies on Instagram. These are principles of your chosen one, according to which she forms her life.
She feels horrible?
She talks openly with you about it, communicates her thoughts, and helps you to understand her better.
Since she has high self-esteem, she pays attention to the people she surrounds herself with.
Her best friends are as open, tolerant, and respectful to other people as she is.
Even though she may have had a tough past, in which, for example:
- Her parents broke up
- A parent may even have died
- Her love never got returned by her parents
- She was abused
…she doesn’t let herself be controlled by it.
She is firmly convinced she deserves a good life and creates it herself instead of hoping for it.
Even if she has been betrayed by her ex, she does not let her life be significantly affected by endless paranoia.
All of these things make her a very positive and pleasing person to spend time with.
But how do you know if she is really the one? With 2 more signs to go, you can test if she is the actual one for you.
Sign #4: She brings a breath of fresh air into your life
From little things like swell songs to phenomenal places you didn’t even know existed,
Your spicy mademoiselle constantly shows you new things to discover.
As if that wasn’t enough, she also turns your definition of sex upside down.
The woman at your side is eager to experiment and brings out a side in you that you never thought you had.
I think she is the one bro
It never gets boring with her.
One day it’s Netflix & Chill, the next it’s Climbing Forest & Grill.
She constantly surprises you with new sides of herself that you didn’t know yet.
If that’s the case, you might want to return the favour and surprise her too.
There are many ways you can surprise your girlfriend.
Guess what? I wrote an entire article about how to make your girlfriend happy, check it out:
>> Top 10 Suprising Ways to Make Your Girlfriend Happy
Sign #5: She has a fetish for growth
Your chica hates nothing more than stagnation.
You have career goals? She motivates you on days when you lie burned out on the couch.
Your life is limited by fears? On your birthday, she will give you a Jochen Schweizer voucher to overcome your fear of heights while going bungee jumping together with you.
She regularly tests your limits.
But she doesn’t do that to get rid of you or to scare you off.
She sees the infinite potential in you and wants to help you exploit it.
And you challenge her so that both of you grow to become the best versions of yourselves.
Even if a relationship with her comes to an end, you know you both come out cooler than ever.
Let me give you an example:
A friend of mine, Klaus and the head coach of AttractionGym Germany was faced with a difficult decision some time ago that would change his life.
He got an offer from his sports club to take the highly paid position of a board member.
Doesn’t sound so bad, does it?
But, he got this unique offer exactly at the time when a dream was taking shape in his head:
Becoming Germany’s best dating coach.
So, he had the choice of accepting a highly paid job or working UNPAID to make his dream come true.
What he finally decided on…you can probably guess… 😉
If there hadn’t been a certain person, you might not have read this article today (spoiler: It’s not the universe).
We are talking about Klaus’ ex-girlfriend.
She motivated him and eliminated his last self-doubts to pursue his dream.
Ex-girlfriend of Klaus, when you read this, many men are infinitely grateful for you!
How to know if your partner is the one? She either is Klaus’s ex-girlfriend. Or he has been coached by Klaus himself
Focus Shift: How to achieve unconditional love
Does your date have several or even all of the signs of being the one I just presented to you?
No?
Well, now you know what to do:
Keep going and get to know all the beautiful women out there who can’t wait to meet a self-confident man like you.
And then… does she show several/all signs?
Yes?
Congratulations, brochacho!
This wonderful ma’am offers you superb conditions for an amazing relationship.
However…
…her excellent girlfriend qualities won’t help you if you fall into this dangerous trap:
You focus more on what she can do for you than on what you can do for her.
If you act like that, you’ll lose her faster than my mother loses her shyt if I didn’t eat my vegetables back in the days…
Do both of you a favor and do the following:
Don’t let her needs be neglected, and KEEP seducing her properly.
Is she the one for you, then also be the one for her.
Glad you asked, bro.
This wouldn’t be an AttractionGym blog post if I didn’t tell you how to do EXACTLY that.
That’s why I’d like to give you this free document as your companion to happy relationships:
My Transformation Kit.
Go out there and find the one for you.
All the best to you, and don’t forget to invite me to your wedding. 😉
Your bro,
Dan de Ram
Great content! Super high-quality! Keep it up! 🙂