3 Effective Ways to Quickly Overcome All Lovesick Symptoms
There is a chance you are feeling shittier than a toilet on a festival. The love of your life has left you and it feels like your world has collapsed.
You think about calling her, every other woman you see resembles her. She is all you can think about and you wonder:
Back when my first girlfriend left me, I cuddled with her sweater for days, and let me tell you: I sucked her scent out of it as if I was a crack junkie…
So, I have experience with lovesickness, but even more in how to fight it. I have not only patched up my broken hearts, but also helped countless other men to pick up needle and thread and finally get over this shitty feeling.
In this article I’ll give you:
- 3 effective methods to heal your love sickness faster than a master surgeon
- Why love makes you sick (literally!)
- Why it’s so damn hard for you to forget her and how to actually do it
- How to profit from your lovesickness to become a real-life Son Goku
- And much more…
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How to handle lovesick symptoms
Let it be a small comfort to you: We all know that feeling. In fact, at this very moment, millions of people in the world are walking around with the same feeling.
You’re not a lonely snowflake on the horizon. I understand what you are going through and how you are feeling. I know how it feels to be cold-bloodedly rejected by a woman you love tremendously.
“Time heals all wounds.” – You’ve probably heard that semi-wise saying before. Most mothers give such useless advice…
I believe that it’s not the time that heals all wounds, but the combination of mindset and proactive actions. If you don’t use it, you can let all the time in the world pass… the feelings will always come back like an annoying fly.
I will do my best (as always) to help you catch this annoying fly aka “lovesickness”, open the window and let it out and go forever (#animallove).
Being love sick = being addicted to Cocaine?
Scientists have compared lovesickness with drug withdrawal in dozens of studies. For a reason. This study even claims that, in the early stages, the two conditions are absolutely identical.
This means that lovesickness is a serious matter. Brain scans of those affected often look like those of cocaine addicts.
A cocaine addict desires nothing more than a good dose of the white powder – a lovesick person wants nothing more than the affection of a certain person.
The longing for your ex is a desire that is literally as strong as the desire for a line of coke. Let that sink in…
And we know how hard it is for cocaine addicts to break the habit. Only a handful make it without falling off the wagon.
Nevertheless, there are two significant differences, which I do not want to withhold from you:
- Cocaine damages your body. Love doesn’t. Yet the pain is real.
- Love motivates you to make the best out of your life. You can’t say that about hard drugs!
So, love is fantastic, even if it causes pain. But isn’t it amazing that we never really give up on love, no matter how much it hurts?
Humans have a deep need for love and that’s a good thing. And let’s be honest: Who wants to live without love?
Lovesickness is a real thing!
“What is love sick?”, your friends my ask while you are sobbing away.
You feel an immeasurable pain. Maybe your friends tell you not to be such a pussy, but what they don’t know is: THE PAIN IS REAL.
You feel the pain in your head, your stomach and your heart. It is not only expressed in negative thoughts, but you actually feel it in your body.
Researchers have discovered that the same areas of the brain as in actual physical injury are active when you’re in a state of lovesickness.
But in contrast to “real” physical pain, there is (at least for now) no magic pill that will make it disappear.
Headache? Aspirin will help. Stomachache? Pour a spoon of Iberogast down your throat. Broken leg? No problem. Splint, manual therapy, and in a few weeks, you’ll be fine.
But being lovesick… The good old Uncle Doc cannot help you.
No. What you need is the help of someone who specializes in love and dating.
Look… I don’t know you, and I don’t know how your relationship ended. But I promise you one thing: The good Uncle Dan (I already have such an excellent uncle name) will do his very best to help you.
Unfortunately, I am also not Harry Potter, who can cast your lovesick symptoms away with a “Wingardium Leviosa”, “Avada Kedavra” or something like that…
But what I can do is to provide you with three practical tips. They are the result of personal experience and coaching of countless men who also suffered from lovesickness.
Ready? Here they come.
3 Lovesickness tips to clear your soul and heal your broken heart
Tip #1: Talk to as many people as possible
That’s easier said than done.
After all, you feel like shit and may not see the point in talking about it with others. Maybe you don’t want to annoy anyone with your “problems”…
But wait a minute. Time out! You think your family and your best friends won’t see that you feel terrible?
Do you really think they have so many more important things to do than talk to you about it? You think they don’t know that feeling?
Forget all your doubts: Everyone has been in love before – lovesickness is nothing new – everyone has felt this way before. And everyone loves to comfort others.
You don’t have to worry about boring them with your grief. In fact, it’s a fascinating topic of conversation.
You don’t need to be afraid of ruining the atmosphere of the conversation with your love sickness. If they really are good friends, they won’t hesitate for a second to help you by listening with empathy.
If you open up and share your feelings freely with others, you will be surprised how much better you feel afterward.
I don’t know if this will work for you 100%, but all I can say is: try it.
Find people around you who seem suitable for a confidential conversation. Talk about your feelings and thank them for listening to you.
You’ll kill three birds with one stone:
- You can express your feelings and thereby possibly release some of the pain.
- You confront your own pain. If you consciously perceive it instead of distracting yourself, you work through it much faster.
- You spend time with your friends. And we all know how much better you can feel after a few brofists and dad jokes.
The first month is certainly the most difficult one. It feels as if the end of the world is coming and as if aliens are about to wipe out the entire human race with their laser weapons. Yup, one on one that’s how it felt to me… Aliens, forced prostitution and doom.
I also remember the desire to try to win her back. Remember that this desire always comes when you’re lovesick. That doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a good idea.
If you really think you can still “flip it”, then you hereby get my official permission to try to win her back. But if you are sure that it is definitely over now, then talk to others about it and let things take their course.
Tip #2: Change Your Perspective
Think of this as phase two, for which you are only ready when you have 100% acceptance that your relationship is finally over.
What you want to avoid is seeing your ex walking the streets with someone else and the whole cycle of pain starts all over again.
Start by saying goodbye to her mentally, no matter how difficult that may be at first.
Avoid sending her a message. Break off contact with her COMPLETELY. Delete your chat history and even her number if you think it is necessary. Stop following her on social media.
If there is still a chance that you can get into a relationship again, then it should be a new, revolutionary relationship.
If you run into each other someday, you might become nervous and wonder if you are going to get back together. Prepare yourself mentally by accepting the first (and possibly last) end of the relationship.
The best thing you can do for yourself are things that make you feel good about yourself.
In plain language: Do what you have always wanted to do.
Read the book you always wanted to read, learn the instrument you always wanted to play. Travel with your friends. Visit festivals. Set new personal goals in your professional life, get a massage and so on and so forth…
When I am completely caught up in my thoughts and can’t get out of them, I do something very unusual: I look for a video of a charity organization with as many starving children, sick, disabled or war victims as possible…
I know how f***ed up that sounds, but after a short while I realize what a damn good life I actually live. I start being grateful. You gain a new perspective and your grief melts away like a scoop of ice cream in the Sahara.
All the examples I gave you earlier will make you happier, more attractive and will CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE. They allow you to feel alive again.
The funny thing is that the how-to of “getting over your ex” and “getting your ex back” overlap in many points.
It’s the same process! If there’s a chance to get your ex back, this is the only way. You’ll be much more interesting to her.
Even if you don’t make it through this, you will probably find that your happiness doesn’t depend on her. You are coming to a powerful realization:
You’re actually dependent on NOBODY.
Do you forever want to remain the one desperate person who suffers from lovesickness? No, of course not. You’re much more than that.
It’s high time to become the best version of yourself. Use your potential!
Ask yourself, “How much do I really mean to myself?” I’m sure you’d advise a good buddy of yours to not date a woman who doesn’t appreciate him the way he appreciates her.
So why the hell would you do that to yourself? Be your own best friend and only get involved with women who at least invest as much as you.
In this article I won’t give you tips on how to get your ex back. If you want to know exactly how you can do that:
This brings me to the third and last tip, which is also the third stage of “dealing with lovesickness”.
Tip #3: Run a Date Marathon
Go out with women. Of course, you don’t have to do it the same week you separated.
Give yourself time to overcome the first, painful phase of your heartache. It’s normal and perfectly okay to feel like shit.
But as soon as you start to feel better, you should make it your main task to turn this “setback” into something great.
You will notice that the end of the relationship serves as a booster or catalyst to get the best out of you: The strongest and most attractive version of yourself!
See the time of overcoming your pain as preparation for your new life. A life without suffering and above all: without neediness!
Maybe you still think it’s impossible to change your perspective now, especially when all you can think about is your ex.
But as soon as you start talking to other women and meet new ones, you will notice that you have to think less and less about your ex.
Maybe it won’t happen as fast as you hope, but the gears in your head are already working and the time of sorrow is coming to its certain end.
Your “old” strong self will come back with a comeback that outshines even the great Mohammad Ali.
Trust in the fact that there are countless other beautiful women on this planet with whom you can get along even better. I know that you neither believe nor want to hear this at this moment, but it is a fact that couldn’t be more true.
I dare you to go on as many dates as possible. You don’t have to find another love right away. It’s just a matter of enjoying the company of a friendly, attractive woman.
Sex with another woman can also be an effective way to become more emotionally distanced from your ex.
You will feel stronger with time. You have grown as a man and can view the past relationship from a clear, distant perspective.
Find out what you can learn from your relationship. If you know what you did well and what you might be able to do better in the future, it will be easier for you not to judge your breakup as something negative, but to see it as something that could teach you important life lessons.
Hasta la vista, lovesickness – Hello independence and strength!
Strike your lovesickness out of the ballpark
Alright bro, I’ve been giving you tips on how to effectively overcome your lovesick symptoms.
To sum up:
- Talk about it
- Accept the pain
- Dedicate yourself to other things that give you meaning
- Go on a date with a hot Latina or whatever type of woman you’re into
- Become a real-life Son Goku by allowing the pain to make you stronger
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And become that attractive man that make women jump in your arms. Perhaps it will be your ex.
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May you do well!
Dan de Ram